Defending Bjork

Chapter 6: Changing the Rules

Disclaimer: I've said it before, but the nature of this chapter warrants it again. I do not own Gilmore Girls, and I have no claim on the portions of actual script found within the confines of this story. I am but a humble fanfic writer, and I use those script moments with the utmost respect for their true authors.

A/N: At last, a new chapter! I meant to get this out sooner, but then I got really, really sick with the flu, and it obviously wasn't happening. But, finally, here it is! Plus, I originally intended to put more in this chapter, so since the rest is already in the front of my mind, the next chapter could be coming out sooner than usual. Emphasis on the 'could', but keep your eyes open. Also, I wanted to thank you all profusely for all the wonderful reviews you posted for Chapter 5; they definitely quelled my worries. If you can, please take the time to review this chapter too. I appreciate it so much. Lastly, a quick shout-out to Rory Potter for saying my fic is 'pimp tyte.' I just loved that compliment. Enjoy, everyone! ~Becka


"How many now?" Lorelai asked, looking expectantly at Rory as they walked side by side towards Doose's Market.

"You're up to nine, but, for the record, I think you should lose points for the constant status checks."

"It's against the rules to change the rules now," Lorelai pointed out.

"Well, maybe I'll just change that rule too."

"Ha! It's a universal rule that you aren't ever allowed to change the rules."

"Says who?" Rory pouted.

"The universe. Where did you think the name of the rule came from?"

"The universe decided that I shouldn't be allowed to change rules?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"A few weeks ago."

"Why would the universe do that?" Rory asked.

"Because the universe didn't like how you tried to alter Trivial Pursuit."

"I did not try to alter Trivial Pursuit," Rory argued.

"Excuse me? Since when is Trivial Pursuit played without the use of the board and those cute, little pieces of pie?"

"You wouldn't set up the board."

"Well, I guess I didn't realize you'd lost the use of your arms."

"You were too lazy to set the game up, so I thought it would be easier to just ask each other questions off the cards."

"Likely story," Lorelai scoffed.

"What does that mean?"

"You thought you were gonna lose."

"Why would I think that?"

"Because you were," Lorelai matter-of-factly stated.

"I've never lost to you."

"My, my, aren't we humble?"

"I haven't. I've never lost Trivial Pursuit to you. Even when I was seven, I won."

"But maybe this time my prayers were about to be answered, and all the squares on the board were going to magically transform to pink."

"I still wouldn't have lost," Rory contended.

"Wow. Someone's getting really cocky about her Trivial Pursuit abilities."

"No, not cocky," Rory haughtily disagreed. "Justifiably self-assured."

"Well, once I get my hands on the movie edition, we'll see who's justifiably self-assured."

"Fine, but for now, can we get back to the task at hand? I believe you were in the middle of a story, Miss Universe."

"Right," Lorelai said, before pausing. "Um, okay…" she faltered, trying with great difficulty to remember where she'd stopped.

"Sookie had just bounded into the kitchen with a spring in her step and announced that it was time for the yearly Independence Inn spring cleaning," Rory helped.

"And you made with the uh-oh," Lorelai remembered.

"Yes, I did," Rory agreed. "The spring cleaning never goes well."

"Ah yes, and this year, Sookie came up with a plan to try to make it go even worse."

"What plan?" Rory asked.

Lorelai sighed. "She decided that Michel is going to help this year, even if she has to go Jerry Springer on him."

"Michel? Not good."

Shaking her head, Lorelai added sympathetically, "Poor Sookie; I guess hope really does spring eternal."

"She is ever the optimist," Rory agreed.

Now back in the rhythm of the game, Lorelai continued wistfully, "Sookie's no spring chicken, and yet she still somehow manages to maintain that never-ending enthusiasm for life."

"Something us cynics just can't understand," Rory interjected.

"Eh, we're too cynical to care," Lorelai dismissed. "Anyway, after springing her big announcement on me, Sookie marched out of the kitchen. I, of course, being the excellent manager that I am, had to follow, just in case a brawl broke out."

"Wouldn't want to hear about it secondhand."

Lorelai's mouth fell open, aghast. "You're joking, right? Never! So, I'm right behind her, and, as she approaches, I can tell that Michel has a serious case of spring fever. You know, all apathetic and lazy."

"Um, Mom," Rory interrupted, adopting a voice of mock concern. "I think Michel's spring fever might be a chronic condition."

"I keep telling him to see a doctor about it, but he just won't spring into action."

"That sentence was stretching it," Rory evaluated.

"Hey, this is not as easy as it looks," Lorelai complained.

"Okay, okay, I'll let it go."

"Thank you," Lorelai answered. "So Sookie stormed right up to the desk – wound tighter than a spring. I haven't seen her that determined since the time I had to restrain her from attacking that guy who sent back his filet mignon."

"Wasn't that two years ago?"

"Ah yes, but the bruises from her struggling only recently faded. Oh, we're almost there," Lorelai said, her voice picking up speed. "Anyway, to make a long story short…"

"It's a little late for that," Rory said cheekily.

Lorelai ignored her comment and continued, "Sookie got to the desk, and she leaned over and looked Michel straight in the eye and said…"

Curious, Rory waited expectantly, but Lorelai was completely silent, taking full advantage of the dramatic pause. At last, Rory couldn't take it anymore. "What? What did she say?" she asked impatiently.

Lorelai sighed in disappointment, then exclaimed, "Nothing! Can you believe that? She said absolutely nothing. She chickened out at the last second. She stepped back from the desk, turned, and marched back into the kitchen, mumbling something about springing a trap."

"She was really mumbling about springing a trap?"

"Okay, so I couldn't actually hear the mumbling, but I think 'springing a trap' was muttered at some point."

"If you say so…"

"Sookie went back into the kitchen, and Michel just sat there. It was quite the 'Dolly Dearest' ending," Lorelai moped.

Patting her mother on the shoulder, Rory cooed sympathetically, "I'm sure there'll be bloodshed someday."

"From your lips," Lorelai said mischievously.

Rory smiled. "Time for the final tally?"

"Hey, look!" Lorelai said, pointing past Rory's head. "A springer spaniel."

"Enough!"

"What can I say, babe. Spring has sprung."

"I never knew so many phrases contained the word 'spring,' but you proved me wrong."

"I am quite impressive," Lorelai proudly agreed. "How many?"

"I think this might be one for the record books. Including the debatable reference to the imaginary springer spaniel, you used the word 'spring' eighteen times in the telling of one story."

"Eighteen? See, who else do you know who can commemorate a change of season in such a creative way and do it so well?"

"No one comes to mind, but you're the only crazy person I know."

"As much as I appreciate the compliment, sweetie, you and I both know that isn't true."

Rory grinned knowingly and reached out to open the door to Doose's for her mother. As Lorelai walked through, Rory chuckled.

"What?" Lorelai asked, turning to her daughter.

"You do realize the next season is summer?"

"Yes, and your point is…? Ah!" Lorelai exclaimed, suddenly understanding. "Okay, new rules - only part of the season has to be used. So, 'sum' would work. Or 'mer'. Or maybe the rule should just be that…"


A short while later, Rory and Lorelai rummaged through a display of woven baskets.

"This one?" Rory asked, holding a rather large basket up for her mom to see.

"Hm, no," Lorelai said quickly.

"Why?"

"It's too big; it raises expectations."

"Like there's actually a home-cooked lunch in there?"

"Instead of whatever is leftover in our refrigerator," Lorelai said. "Exactly."

"Okay, going back on the pile now," Rory conceded as she set the basket back down and began weeding through the rest of the stack.

"Oh, it's quaint, isn't it?" Lorelai mused while she too searched for the perfect basket. "The women get to make a nice lunch basket, the men get to bid on it, and the world rotates backwards on its axis."

"I think it's fun," Rory disagreed.

"That's because you have a pretty boy to bid on your basket."

Rory smiled happily. "Yes, I do."

"Did you tell him to eat lunch first?"

"Hi, I love him; of course. Hey, I'm gonna look in back."

"All right, I'll hit the front," Lorelai said, heading off in the opposite direction.

"Not that one," Dean's voice cut through the air in the back of Doose's, startling Rory from her basket hunt.

She smiled and turned to walk towards her boyfriend. "You get no say in the basket."

"I have to bid on it," he pointed out.

"And you have to eat what's inside it, and you get no say in that either."

Dean smiled. "Hey…"

"Yeah?" Rory asked.

"Is Taylor behind me?"

Rory looked behind Dean and grinned. "No." Reaching her hand up to rest on his cheek, she leaned in and softly kissed him. Dean had just begun to return the kiss when a rustle drew Rory's attention and caused her to pull away. She glanced over her boyfriend's shoulder.

"What? Taylor?" Dean asked, turning to see who'd disturbed them. "Jess," he remarked in annoyance.

"Sorry to intrude," Jess said unconvincingly.

"Then why did you?" Dean asked.

"Well," Jess began. "You're having your vertical 'From Here to Eternity' moment right in front of the super glue."

"Oh," Rory weakly replied.

"Not that that's not an appropriate place to be doing it in front of but – "

"Here's your glue," Dean interrupted, handing Jess the package.

"Thanks… as you were," Jess said, shooting Rory an unreadable look before walking away.

"I really hate that guy," Dean said, once Jess was gone.

Rory drew her eyes from Jess's retreating back and tried to focus on her boyfriend. "He didn't do anything."

"He's here; he's breathing. That's enough."

Rory sighed. "I really wish you two could start over."

"Why?"

"Because he lives here, and we run into him. He goes to school here," Rory rambled. "I just think it'd be easier."

"I'm fine with the whole 'hating him' thing, thank you."

"I just think it's a waste of energy," Rory tried again.

"You know, I'll have a Power Bar."

"Fine, forget it," Rory dismissed, giving up.

"So, uh, I should probably get back to work. We still on for tonight?" Dean asked.

"I don't know," Rory teased. "I might be baking."

"I'll pick you up at seven," he said, smiling. Then he glanced around and pointed at a basket. "Get that one, it's nice and small."

"Bye," Rory said, giving him another quick kiss before he left. She watched him go, then turned to resume her search.

"God!" she yelled, surprised to find Jess suddenly standing right next to her.

"Sorry," he halfheartedly apologized as he reached for another super glue. "Two for one sale." He smirked and walked away, leaving a flustered Rory staring after him.


"Here's the glue," Jess said, tossing the two packages on the counter in front of Luke. "Next time you need an errand boy, call Kirk."

"You bought two."

"Wow, Uncle Luke, I'm impressed. Think next week you'll be able to count to five?"

"Why did you buy two?" Luke asked, ignoring Jess's remarks.

"There was a two-for-one sale."

"I only needed one."

"The other one was free," Jess explained, growing annoyed.

"Since when does Taylor give anyone anything for free?"

"You think I'm lying about Super Glue?" Jess asked in disbelief.

"I didn't say that."

"Whatever," Jess dismissed.

Luke eyed him suspiciously. "You aren't planning anything, are you?"

"Excuse me?"

"I don't wanna hear about any Super Glue-d doorknobs."

"Huh. Thanks for the idea. Not very creative, but it could work."

"Jess…" Luke warned.

Jess held up his hands in surrender. "Hey, it wasn't my idea."

"You can't keep doing this."

"What?"

"Making trouble."

"The second glue was free," Jess emphasized. "But believe whatever you want to believe. Self-delusion is obviously a prerequisite for living here."

"What are you talking about?"

"Are we done?"

"Did something happen?" Luke asked.

"This interrogation is really fun and all, but do you think I could just get back to work now?"

"Here," Luke said, handing Jess the coffeepot. "Refill the table by the window."

Without another word, Jess took the coffeepot and walked away. Luke's confused gaze followed Jess across the room. After a second, he sighed and, taking the glue packages from the counter, went in back.


"What's a girl gotta do to get some service around here?" Lorelai called loudly in Jess's direction as she flopped onto a stool beside Rory and set her newly purchased basket on the counter.

Jess slyly glanced at them but remained among the tables, taking orders from customers who'd been in the diner longer.

"Luke!" Lorelai yelled. "We're being ignored."

Luke emerged from in back and quickly searched for Jess. Seeing that he was indeed feigning obliviousness, he grabbed some mugs and began pouring them coffee. "Sorry 'bout that," he apologized.

"Should we buy him a hearing aid?" Lorelai asked. Rory, meanwhile, stole a glance at Jess, hoping to make eye contact, so she could try to determine what was wrong. Unfortunately, his back was turned.

"Nah. He's just… I don't know," Luke muttered.

"Enough said," Lorelai answered in understanding. As Luke set the mug in front of her, she grabbed her basket and moved it to the floor.

"You're actually going to participate in that auction thing?" he asked.

"Don't we always?"

"I thought you might've come to your senses."

"Nope," Lorelai said, taking a sip of her coffee. "We're selling ourselves like streetwalkers, just like every other year. Thank God they added the whole basket twist; it makes us feel less cheap."

"Now we're high class call girls," Rory threw in, smiling.

"The type that gets to hang out in the sleazy businessman's penthouse instead of the back of his car. We're movin' up in the world, kiddo."

"That we are," Rory agreed.

"So Luke, any chance you'll be purchasing a lady's basket on Sunday, if you know what I mean."

"Definitely not."

"I hear Taylor is considering making a basket this year," Lorelai teased. "You sure you don't wanna get in on that action."

"Is she gonna stop anytime soon?" Luke asked, directing his question at Rory.

"Probably not. Just ignore her; I always do."

"See if I'll help you with your basket," Lorelai threatened.

"I can already hear Dean thanking me."

"Are your devil's horns getting more pointy as you get older?" Lorelai asked her daughter. "Or is it just me?"

"Just you," Rory grinned.

"Okay, good," Lorelai said happily. "Hey Luke, can we get two to-gos? We have some baking to do."

"I'll put the fire department on alert," he quipped, handing them the carryout cups.

"They're actually already waiting for us at home. But if you see smoke, bring marshmallows," Lorelai said, grinning like a lunatic.

"Keep her away from that oven," Luke whispered to Rory.

"Don't worry; I unplugged it," Rory whispered back, grabbing her basket and following her mother out the door.


As soon as the Gilmores were gone, Jess strolled towards the counter, a smirk playing on his lips. Luke had turned to start a new pot of coffee percolating, just as he had to do after every visit from Lorelai and Rory.

"Uncle Luke," Jess said, leaning his back against the counter.

"Next time they come in here, you serve them. No excuses," Luke ordered, not looking up.

"Whatever," Jess replied. "Can I borrow some money?"

Luke finally turned to him, astonishment written all over his face. Seeing Jess's smile, he was even more bewildered. "Why are you smiling?"

Jess shrugged. "Day just got better."

"I hid the Super Glue," Luke pointed out.

"Maybe it was a three for one sale." At Luke's warning glare, Jess added, "Relax. I was kidding."

"You don't need any money. I pay you."

"I know, but I don't have any cash. I'll pay you back."

"Go to the bank," Luke suggested.

"It's closed."

"Find an ATM."

"Right," Jess scoffed. "This town just got its first stoplight; I seriously doubt it has an ATM."

"What do you need money for?"

"Geez, it's just a loan. Would you rather I go find an old lady and mug her?"

"Fine," Luke reluctantly agreed. "Take some money out of the till, but you better pay it back. And don't take more than $20. I'm going in back. If a customer comes in, no matter who it is, serve them."

Jess waited until Luke was in back, then he opened the register and removed five $20 bills. Shoving them in his pocket, he grabbed the order pad and headed towards a table.