To cindy who reviewed, I promise to update faster. We're at a turning point in the story, this is where we finally get off from the show. Big thank yous to the people who read this, I'd be interested to know what you think, review please.

Spike

I'm not sulking, really I'm not. I don't do that thing; I'm not Angel, no brooding for me. What I am is pissed off. How dare he? How could he come here and be the bloody knight in bloody shining armour? This is not LA, we run the show around here. When everything seemed to be going better between Buffy and me, he has to show his big ass again in the picture.

Does he do it on purpose or does he really have an eerie sense of timing? Might be the small sojourn in hell that helped things along, he might have brought back some new talent for torturing me.

I know that if I were somewhat rational I would also be blaming Buffy for the small lip tango but... First, I'm love's bitch; I'd have trouble blaming her even if she brought forth the end of the world. Second, he was supposed to be the love of her life, she gets some slack on that account. I might not like it and be violently against it but I can still understand it. The world might end after all. Thirdly, it's was his bloody fault! HE left her when it began to be too tough to bear instead of finding a way to make it work out. He always had to come to her rescue even when she didn't need to be saved. He still thought of her as the young, naive 16-year-old that fell in love with the dark and mysterious stranger. I don't think he can see the power that she holds, the wonderful warrior that she has become. She is in the major leagues now. His playing ground might be LA but hers is the world. If he is a Champion, she's now the commander of his army.

I am jealous of their history; they share something that we will never have. But I don't love the naive bubbly blonde, I love the whole deal. I don't need her to need me, she can save my sorry ass whenever she wants.

I don't know how she feels about him, but I think I can go back to last night's house and wait for her. You know even with Angel here, I think it's the first time I really have a chance with her. I'm hers, I have pledged my life and anything she might need to her. I'll wait for her to come back to me, we'll face this battle together, of that I'm certain.

Angel

She had been with him. She was with Spike. Her hair, her clothes were still reeking of leather and tobacco. Spike of the gem of Amara.

Up to what point had she been with him? Did Angel really want to know? She never was one to sleep around and to be fair never was he. But he didn't want to be fair; he still was trying to understand what had just happened. Buffy didn't want him anymore, she needed him for the fight but that was it. He didn't think she really wanted him here.

She needed Spike, the message had been clear. It irked him to no point. He had never liked him; he had done everything he could to make his unlife miserable from the start. He had wanted to show Dru Spike's weakness at first, to debase in in her eyes. But the more Angel humiliated him, the more she liked his frailty. It had also the effect of reinforcing Spike's mental strength. The Aurelius line had given birth to its share of master vampires and he had pushed him enough to give him the rank of master in his own right. But even then, when he was alone with Dru to build his little kingdom here in Sunnydale, Angel had been able to mess it up.

Dru had always been Angelus' to do as he pleased, with or without his soul. He knew it and had played to it when the soul left him, wanted even more to dangle it in front of Spike's face that he was always second to him. But even then he would try to get back Drusilla's affection, to have his dark goddess's love. He didn't know what had happened to his love for Drusilla , he might have finally found someone that gave him hope of something better. Spike would be faithful to Buffy and everyone he holds in his heart, he had never needed a soul to help him do that.

Angel had to be honest with himself, Spike scared him. Not himself but what he represents. The more he gets to know the range of Spike's emotions, the less Angel trusted himself. The demon was always kept in check; the soul didn't help much for the control. It started with himself first. Spike without the soul is pretty in control of everything if a little impetuous. Angelus in control? Pretty much kills everyone on his eyesight and more. There's not much left of Angel in that situation, not that Angel wasn't a son of a bitch when he was alive.

He knew how Spike would deal with a soul. He wouldn't reflect on his past deeds because he couldn't anything about it. He would tell you that he was a vampire, without remorse. He had to feed to survive so he wouldn't apologise for that. Would the cat be sad for the mouse that he had to catch for his supper? He saw it as simple as that. He was sorry about what he had done but he didn't regret it, he had done it to survive. If he really has a soul he would do something about it now instead of looking to the past. So then without a glance he would do good as simply as he did evil.

Still, he didn't want Spike to have Buffy. But, he didn't want her for himself anymore; he had to be honest about it. If he had to choose, it wouldn't be her anymore. Newsflash even to himself. So why did he care about the why and who? Well big news, he might just be a big jealous, possessive son of a bitch.

It's scary how the more he tried to do what's best, the end result always seems worthy of his alter ego. Maybe Angel never let himself take a deeper look at who he really was because as he grows older it scares him to find out how much like Angelus he truly his. He's still a hardheaded bastard who'll get his way at any cost. Maybe the consequences aren't as bad as when he doesn't have his soul but there's always something that makes people uneasy around him. He can't trust himself to always have control over his reactions. He doesn't have a lot of leeway over his demon, even with the soul. And the animal inside each human can see that.

And something else bothers him, if Spike gives you his word, he'll keep the demon at bay to fulfil his promise, under any circumstances, because he gave his word. And never mind the soul, he was like that as a fledgling. The guy has self control down to an art. No patience but oodles of control. Damn damn damn! Angel so didn't want to be on Spike's side.

He'd like to rant and say but he's a vampire, he's evil! On the other hand he never planned to suck the world into hell with everyone still in it. Spike never was one for world domination. He probably would be good for Buffy, faithful and reliable. Like a geyser. He'd follow her to the end of the world and then some more. And all that still with or without the soul.

It took Angel years to be able to coexist with his soul and his demon. But it hasn't been a year yet for William and he's almost back to his old self, maybe with a hint of his human self meshed with the other part but he's basically okay. Angel couldn't accept it, he had been cursed, he suffered for years to try and find a balance. Spike fought for his soul, won it fair and square. Does this mean that maybe Angel was the one who didn't deserve to have a soul?

He might be jealous of Spike's place besides Buffy but he'd have to admit that maybe he'd earned it. He still didn't have to like it. Someday, when the apocalypses die down, they would have a real long talk, Spike and him.