Defending Bjork
Chapter 21: New York, New York
Disclaimer: In a perfect world, someday I'll be a famous television writer, admired and adored by hundreds upon hundreds of fanfic authors. Right now, I'm nobody. Look to Amy Sherman-Palladino if you want cool.
A/N: This chapter scared the holy bejeezus out of me. Honestly. And I never would've gotten through it without the assistance of two amazing people. Jewls, any iota of New York accuracy found in this chapter is owed entirely to you. Thanks for putting up with my emails and incessant questions. Elise, you are now hereby crowned The Queen of Block-Breaking. Yes, I know it's not a pretty name, but trust me, it's one to be admired. Thanks for helping me with each painstaking moment of that last scene. And I do mean pain… staking. And to all the rest of y'all, I like reviews. (nudge) -Becka
"Okay, maps?" Lorelai asked, looking at her daughter seriously.
Rory reached into her bag and pulled out a map. "Check."
"Someone to interpret the maps?"
Rory smiled. "I have an excellent sense of direction."
"You have my genes, honey. I get lost in the mall."
"I'll be fine," Rory assured her.
"Money?"
"Check."
"Not too much, not too little? There are no muggings allowed."
"The perfect amount," Rory said confidently. "Enough for the bus, plus a little extra, just in case."
"Wait," Lorelai interrupted. "How do you even know where you're going?"
Rory waved the map in the air again.
"No, an address. Do we know where he lives?"
Rory pulled a slip of paper out of her pocket. "He told Paris once that he lived in East Village. There was only one E. Danes listed online."
"How do you know that's Liz?"
Rory glanced down at it. "Well, I'm not 100% sure, but…"
"Rory…"
"The odds are in my favor."
"We don't even know her last name is Danes anymore."
"There were no Marianos."
"Okay, but what about Jones or Smith or Schwarzenegger?"
"Schwarzenegger?" Rory asked skeptically.
"Hey, it could be anything."
"Well, if this isn't the right address, I'll just wander the streets yelling 'Jess' until I find him."
"Very funny."
"It works in the movies," Rory reminded her.
"I dislike this plan more and more by the second."
"Which is amazing, considering how much you hated it last night," Rory pointed out.
"Okay, we'll just ask Luke for the address."
"No," Rory said quickly.
Lorelai's brow furrowed. "Why not?"
"I just… don't want him to know."
"That's crazy. Luke has the address. Therefore, it makes sense to ask Luke."
"This is Jess's address," Rory said firmly, holding up the small slip of paper.
"You're dead set on yelling through the streets, aren't you?"
"It's really the only reason I'm going," Rory admitted.
Lorelai frowned. "Ok, so, East Village? How do you plan to get there once the bus drops you off?"
"What?"
"The bus doesn't do requests," Lorelai reminded her.
"Well," Rory said, thinking. "I guess I'll just walk."
"From the Port Authority to East Village?"
Rory nodded. "Yes."
"Have you looked at that map?" Lorelai asked, gesturing at it.
"I took a gander," Rory stated.
"A gander?" Lorelai repeated. "Okay, let me help you out. It's gonna be a long walk."
"How long?"
"Very long."
Rory's face fell. "So what do I do?"
"You'll probably have to take the subway."
"Oh," Rory accepted, frowning.
"Do you have enough money for the subway?"
"I guess."
"You're not helping me love this plan, Rory."
She looked up. "Money. Subway. It's all covered," she assured her.
"All right," Lorelai accepted hesitantly. "Do you have your cell phone?"
"Yes, and it's all charged."
"And you have my number?"
Rory's lips turned up slightly. "I'm going to miss the bus."
"Fine, just one more thing."
"What?"
"Ground rules."
"Oh boy," Rory mumbled.
"No talking to strangers."
"I won't."
"No taking candy from strangers."
"What if it's a famous stranger?" Rory teased.
"Ah, famous strangers are not strangers. Take the candy and convince them to adopt you."
"I'll do my best," Rory nodded. "Next."
"No walking down dark alleyways."
"It's a bright, sunny day," Rory said, pointing at the window.
"Are we in agreement?" Lorelai asked stubbornly.
"No dark alleyways. Check."
"No pimping, prostituting, or littering."
Rory grinned. "I'm going now," she said, heading towards the door.
Lorelai trailed after her. "No attending Cats. I'll have to disown you."
Rory pulled on her jacket.
"Uh… what else?" Lorelai muttered, thinking. "No drug dealing. Rudy doesn't allow that anymore."
"There goes Plan B."
"No bungee-jumping, no skydiving, and no walking through revolving doors until you make yourself sick."
"The Hilton wouldn't let me back in anyway."
"No staring up at the tall buildings like a tourist; you'll hurt your neck, and uh… okay, I think that's everything. Oh no, wait," she added. "No joining a gang of street-smart, hip-hopping break-dancers fighting for their chance at fame. We always promised to do that together."
"I promise."
"All right," Lorelai accepted. "I've said my piece."
Rory smiled and started out the door.
"Rory," Lorelai called.
She turned back around.
"If anything happens, you call me."
"I will."
"I mean it, no keeping David Bowie and the Hershey bars for yourself."
"I'll be back tonight."
Lorelai forced a smile, and Rory headed down the sidewalk.
When she was out of sight, Lorelai walked back into the house and shut the door. Leaning her back against it, she took a deep breath. Then, steeling herself, she headed upstairs to get ready for work.
As the bus pulled into its terminal, Rory glanced at her watch. The ride had been about two and a half hours, but it had seemed like an eternity. She had hoped to get in some quality reading as finals were fast approaching, but after about ten miles, she'd given up. Her mind was too preoccupied with thoughts of Jess and their inevitable conversation should she find him. Yesterday, at the bridge, coming to New York had seemed like the perfect solution, but now she was in New York, and she had no idea what she was doing, where she was going, or what on earth she was going to say once she got there. She watched as the passengers one row ahead of her stood and headed down the aisle. Then, with an uncertain sigh, she joined them.
As soon as she stepped off the bus, she was greeted with the hustle and bustle of the Port Authority. All around her, people were greeting each other and chatting. Wheeled suitcases glided along the ground, and she dodged to get out of the way. A little disoriented, she found an empty bench and sat down. Pulling her map from her backpack, she glanced at the street names and tried to formulate a plan. She quickly realized that Lorelai hadn't been joking about the walk; it'd take forever. The subway, it is, she decided, trying to fight off a sudden case of nerves. How, exactly, did one track down a subway?
She raised her head and glanced around, searching for a clue. It didn't take long before she located a promising sign emblazoned with an arrow and the word 'subway'. Deciding this was going to be much easier than she'd thought, she stood and headed in the suggested direction. Each sign led to another sign, all of them pointing towards the subway. She followed along for a while but soon felt like she was walking in circles. Ten minutes later, she couldn't even remember how many corners she'd turned or where she'd started in the first place. Frowning, she looked around. She must be missing something. Looking to her left, she spotted a door. Logic told her that it must be the subway so, without a second thought, she headed through it.
She squinted immediately, the hot sun burning her eyes after spending so much time indoors. Frustrated, she looked around. No subway. Her shoulders slumped as she realized she'd come all of this way and was likely going to spend the whole day searching for the stupid subway. She looked around helplessly then glanced towards the street. Slowly, a smile spread across her face as she saw the long line of taxis parked along the curb. Glaring over her shoulder at the bus station behind her, she hurried towards the nearest cab.
"Here you go, miss," the cabbie called over his shoulder.
Handing over the fare, Rory thanked him and climbed out of the cab. In an instant, the driver was gone, off in search of a new rider. As he turned the corner, Rory suddenly wished she'd asked Luke for the address. If this wasn't it, she had no clue what to do next.
She scanned the street, taking in her surroundings. It looked typical enough, nothing stood out as particularly interesting. It was quiet, set off from the businesses and stores of the East Village proper. She spotted a small café at the far corner of the street with a lone table outside its door. No one was sitting at it. The rest of the block was lined with brownstones, each one almost indistinguishable from the next. When she'd imagined what kind of street Jess lived on, she hadn't pictured this, and yet there was something about it that seemed exactly right.
Smiling a little, she turned her eyes to his building. It was four stories, made of stone despite being the color of dingy, maroon brick. Three steps led the way to the door, which was currently propped open by a heavy, discarded flower pot. Along the façade of the building, each floor was differentiated by its line of small windows. Rory could tell from the way they were spaced that the apartments were small.
Biting her lip, she glanced up and down the street again. Then, she slowly approached the building and ascended the stairs. Inside the entryway, another door led into the stairwell. Rory spotted a buzzer near the mailboxes and pulled the sheet of paper from her pocket to confirm the apartment number. She'd been repeating it over and over in her head on the ride from Port Authority, but checking it again was an easy delay tactic. She slipped the sheet back into her pocket and pressed the numbers. Nothing happened. It didn't make a sound. She punched them in again and, like the first time, got no response. 'Great,' she mumbled under her breath. Given how little traffic she'd seen coming in and out of the building – more explicitly, none – it could be awhile before someone would appear to let her in. Repositioning her bag on her shoulder, she sighed and yanked on the door handle. When it flew open, she lost her balance slightly. Running her fingers over the edge of the door, she discovered the lock was broken. She peered around nervously, feeling like she was committing a crime by entering without permission. But no one was around to see her, so she hurried through and started up the stairwell.
It smelled like smoke. Strong smoke that burnt her throat and made her want to cough. Small cigarette butts were strewn along the edges where the carpet met the wall, and on the second floor landing, she eyed a piece of gum that had hardened permanently into the fibers. She wrinkled her nose and continued up. When she reached the third floor, she pulled open the heavy door and stepped into the hallway. The smoky smell was considerably fainter here, and she inhaled deeply, not realizing that she'd been holding her breath on the way up. She wandered down the hallway, reading the numbers on the doors. When she reached 317, she faltered slightly, then, cautiously, she knocked.
"Just a second," a female voice called.
A moment later, the woman spoke again, but this time, she was standing right on the other side. "Can I help you?" she asked without opening the door. Rory glanced up at the peephole but couldn't see anything.
"Um… I might have the wrong apartment," she said awkwardly. "I'm looking for Jess Mariano."
Immediately, she heard the sound of two locks being flipped and turned. Then, the door opened, and she was face-to-face with the woman.
"You're a friend of my Jess?" Liz asked, looking Rory over with a smile on her face.
"From Stars Hollow," Rory explained.
Liz's smile widened, and Rory instantly felt more comfortable. "I should've guessed. Do you have a name?"
"Oh, yeah, of course," Rory stammered, shaking her head in embarrassment. "Rory Gilmore."
Liz extended her hand. "I'm Liz Danes, Jess's mom. He doesn't owe you money, does he?" she teased.
Rory grinned and shook her hand. "No."
"In that case, welcome. He isn't here, but you can come in and wait if you want," Liz offered, widening the door.
With a shy smile, Rory stepped inside.
As soon as she entered, she tried to take in as much as possible. She had been right; the apartment was small – very small – but also very homey. Immediately to her left was the kitchen, barely more than a hole in the wall. It was standard and offered few clues, except for the small plant at one corner of the counter and the hundred or so magnets along the surface of the refrigerator. She didn't have time to examine them, but she made a mental note to walk by later and take a look.
Instead, she turned her eyes to the living room, which lay to her right. She wandered the rest of the way into it as Liz flipped the locks back into place. There was a large couch on one wall, a floral print that Rory knew immediately Jess must hate. Though the cushions looked threadbare and worn, the large throw pillows made up for any lack of comfort. They were made of plush velour in colors to match the print, big and puffy. Her mother would die for those pillows, Rory observed with a smile.
The room was so small that the furniture took up the vast majority of floor space. Next to the couch was a mismatched blue recliner and in front was a coffee table, covered by a book, the television remote, and two beer bottles. Nestled in the far corner was the TV stand, and on the opposite wall was a small bookcase, filled with knick-knacks and a trio of framed pictures. Her heart fluttering, Rory walked over and crouched down to look at them. Her face lit up as she spotted one of a much-younger Luke, looking very uncomfortable as he cradled a small, olive-skinned baby in his arms.
Liz walked over to stand beside her, and Rory glanced up. "Is that Jess?" she asked, even though she already knew the answer.
"The one and only, and that's my brother Luke, but I suppose you know that."
"My mom and I have a coffee addiction," Rory replied.
"Then, you definitely know that," Liz smiled.
Rory looked at the picture again.
"He was a sweet baby," Liz commented.
Rory brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled again. "That doesn't surprise me," she said absently before turning her eyes to another picture. In this one, Jess was a toddler, teetering on unsteady legs and holding Liz's hand. Even if Rory hadn't recognized him on sight, the mop of dark brown hair would've given him away.
The third picture must have been fairly recent. Jess looked as he did now. He was sitting at a picnic table, glaring down at a book with a scowl on his face. Rory laughed a little.
"I keep that one because he hates it so much," Liz remarked. "And because I think it captures him quite nicely."
"It does," Rory agreed, standing up again. Then, she suddenly blushed at her behavior. "I'm sorry for just barging in," she began, trying to explain.
Liz shook her head. "Jess doesn't make many friends. I'm kinda curious myself."
"Oh, we aren't really friends… exactly," Rory replied. "I mean, we are, but…"
"Did he do something?" she asked, suddenly serious.
"No," Rory said quickly. "He just… didn't say goodbye." She blushed again.
Liz nodded, understanding. "Ah."
"He probably doesn't even want me here," Rory said, looking around helplessly. "I should go."
"Or you could stay," Liz suggested. "Sometimes he doesn't know what he wants."
Rory hesitated.
"I'm dying to tell some of his embarrassing kid stories, and my brother once taught me how to make a mean pot of coffee."
Rory shifted, knowing she should go but not really wanting to.
A second later, Liz took the decision out of her hands. "You're staying. Sit. I'll go make the coffee. Luke'll never forgive me if I scare you away."
Rory smiled and slid the backpack off her shoulder. "Okay."
"What time is it?" Lorelai asked.
"Five minutes later than when you asked five minutes ago," Michel replied irritably. "And ten minutes later than the time before that."
"Which would make it?"
Michel glared at her. "One-fifteen."
"Right, of course," Lorelai nodded, looking back down at her papers.
Five minutes later, she lifted her head to ask again. Spotting her gesture, Michel walked around the desk and straight into the kitchen. A second later, he emerged, pushing Sookie in front of him. "Make it stop," he demanded, pointing at Lorelai.
"What?" Sookie asked.
"Her voice is like the incessant buzzing of a bee. She forgot her watch. I cannot take it. Buy her a watch. Buy her several. Please. I am begging."
Sookie chuckled and looked at her friend. "It hasn't been that long. Rory's fine."
"She hasn't called. She's lying in a subway somewhere, unconscious and bleeding, while panhandlers and police officers step over her," Lorelai disagreed.
"You know that's not true, sweetie. The panhandlers would stop."
"Yes, to rob her," Lorelai clarified.
Shaking her head, Sookie shuffled around the desk and wrapped her arm around Lorelai's shoulders. "C'mon. Into the kitchen."
"What if she calls the desk?" Lorelai asked, pointing at the phone.
"Michel is here."
"Yes, I am here," he confirmed. "Go away."
"C'mon, honey. You need food."
"Fine," Lorelai said, glaring at Michel as she let Sookie lead her away.
"Do not forget the watch," he called after them.
"Can it, Michel!" Sookie ordered before turning her attention back to Lorelai.
They walked into the kitchen, and Sookie sat her on a stool before moving to fix her a plate of food.
"I'm losing my mind, Sookie."
"Then call her."
"I can't call her," Lorelai protested. "Then I'm the psycho mom who can't let her daughter out of her sight without freaking out."
"Okay, but that's kinda what you are right now."
"No, right now, I am the cool mom who let her teenage daughter trek to a city she doesn't know to find a boy who doesn't want to be found and who, quite frankly, I don't want to be found."
"My mistake," Sookie teased.
"I just need a distraction. Juggle or something."
"You want me to juggle?"
"Okay, good point. Forget it."
"Eat," Sookie ordered, handing her the plate.
"What time is it?" she asked, lifting the fork to her mouth.
Sookie glanced at her watch. "One-twenty."
"Ah, great," Lorelai nodded.
"What?"
"Oh, I just have Rory's whole trip plotted out in my mind, and what happens at one-twenty is a doozy."
"What happens at one-twenty?" Sookie asked, curious.
"Well, let's see, about two minutes ago, Rory picked herself up from the concrete…"
"Where she was lying while bleeding from the head," Sookie supplied.
"Already been established," Lorelai pointed out. "She's picked herself up, dusted herself off, and she's now meeting the woman who raised Jess."
"She accomplishes a lot in five minutes."
"You're telling me. What time is it?"
"One-twenty-one."
"See, and now Jess's mom is turning Rory into a scowling teenage misfit, just like her son."
Sookie giggled. "I doubt that."
"I wouldn't put it past her."
"You've never met her."
"I've met Jess."
"She's Luke's sister. How bad could she be?"
"She's the black sheep," Lorelai stated.
"So are you."
"I'm the only sheep. It's different."
"Oh, right," Sookie cooed.
"This is very stressful. Distract me," Lorelai demanded before taking another bite.
"Ooh, what about your date tonight?" Sookie cheered.
Lorelai's eyes widened. "My date? Oh, wow, I think I forgot about that."
"You forgot about your date with the hottie restaurateur?" Sookie teased, wiggling her hips.
"I totally did! Wow! I can't believe that."
"You've had a lot on your mind."
"But to forget a date?" Lorelai shook her head. "I haven't even thought about what to wear… or which coy gesture to employ… or what food on the menu is just expensive enough to make it worth my while and yet cheap enough so I don't look like a gold digger."
Sookie shook her head and giggled. "I think we've found our distraction."
"What time is it?"
Sookie frowned. "You're kidding, right?"
"I have a date tonight. I need to know how much time I have."
"One twenty-five," Sookie said, glancing at her watch.
"Great. And now Jess has arrived."
"He has?"
"Yeah, this is when the fun starts. Time's ticking by, and oh, wait, wait… Jess is being a jerk. I'd been waiting for that."
"This isn't going to stop, is it?"
"Probably not," Lorelai stated.
Without another word, Sookie took off her watch and handed it to Lorelai. "Go crazy."
"And then he tells the kid that lightning is a tracking device," Liz said excitedly. "So the monsters can find you, but you can't find them. Little Wally was darting and ducking his way through thunderstorms for years after that."
Rory laughed.
"I knew right then and there that I had to watch out for my Jesse. He doesn't believe in using that creative mind for good instead of evil."
Rory shook her head and smiled, picturing a toddling Jess as he weaved tales of torment for the other neighborhood kids.
"Wally's never quite gotten over it either," Liz said, shaking her head sadly while grinning from ear-to-ear at the same time. She stood up and gathered their plates, a result of her insistence that Rory join her for lunch.
"He painted a chalk outline on the sidewalk outside Doose's," Rory stated.
Liz's eyes widened. "He didn't?"
"He did."
"Taylor must've loved that," Liz remarked, putting the dishes in the sink.
"It shut the store down for the entire day."
"And yet my boy is still alive and well."
"They couldn't prove he did it."
Liz shook her head and grinned proudly. "They never can."
Rory smiled and watched as Jess's mom ran water over the dishes. She wasn't at all what she'd expected. At first, Rory hadn't seen much of a resemblance, but as they'd talked, she'd picked up on mannerisms mother and son shared – little hints of their similarities.
Liz turned off the water and glanced at Rory. "I like you," she smiled.
Rory was slightly surprised but smiled back. "I'm glad."
Liz dried her hands on a towel and made her way back over to the couch. "You're different than Jess's other friends. How'd that happen?"
"What do you mean?"
"How'd he find someone on the up-and-up?"
Rory shrugged. "There isn't much else in Stars Hollow."
"I suppose that's true," Liz agreed. "I'm starting to wish he'd stayed."
Rory smiled sadly. "Me too."
Liz studied her for a moment, but Rory quickly put on a brave face.
"Ooh," Liz exclaimed. "Do you want to see the photo album? It's in my room."
Rory's eyes lit up. "I'd love to."
"All right, let me go get it," Liz said, standing up.
Rory stood too. "Do you mind if I use the bathroom?"
"Of course not. It's the one in the middle," she said, pointing to three doorways across the apartment from the main door.
Rory nodded and headed in its direction.
A few minutes later, she emerged from the bathroom and glanced quickly at the other two doorways. The one on the right side was hidden by strands of beads. Rory guessed it was Liz's room, and her suspicion was confirmed a second later when Liz emerged, the album in hand. Rory smiled, and then, unable to help herself, she glanced towards the other room. Jess's room.
"I guess I didn't give you a proper tour, did I?" Liz stated, picking up on Rory's action. "Not that there's much to see. Kitchen," she said, pointing back towards the front of the room. "And living room." She turned to face the three doorways. "My room, bathroom, Jess's room."
Rory nodded, taking it all in again.
Liz smiled. "I know you're curious. Go on," she suggested, motioning towards Jess's room. "I won't tell."
Rory hesitated.
"Go on," Liz repeated. She threw the back of her arm over her eyes dramatically and started towards the living room. "I didn't see a thing."
Liz turned the corner into the other room, but Rory remained rooted in place. Then, very slowly, she inched towards Jess's room on careful feet and peered in through the doorway. Her eyes immediately fell on a bookshelf, and, without another thought, she walked in.
His room was the smallest in the apartment – barely more than a closet. There was just enough room for his bed, a narrow dresser, and the three bookshelves that lined the wall. She ran her eyes around the area. His walls were bare, and she wondered if he'd taken posters down before he'd left Stars Hollow or if it had always been that way. His large duffel bag was open on the floor beside the bed; she stepped over it as she made her way to the bookshelves. Though a lot of books had been moved to Luke's apartment, the shelves were still surprisingly full. She trailed her eyes over the titles, locating ones she'd read but many more she hadn't. She pulled one out and glanced inside; as she'd expected, his small print filled the margins. Smiling, she replaced it and pulled out another. He'd read that one too. She repeated the move several times, and each time, Jess's notes were inside. He'd read them all. She was suddenly tempted to sit with her back against the wall and read some of his thoughts, but she fought the urge and stood up. Other than the bookshelves, the room was relatively empty – not too surprising, considering that most of his things were still in Stars Hollow. She was slightly disappointed that there wasn't more.
Her eyes moved to the small window, and she made her way over to look outside. It led to the fire escape and beyond that, the alley below. The view was definitely different than what the residents on the opposite side of the building must have – a little darker, gloomier, seedier. The alley housed several dumpsters, and she spotted a broken-down car at the far end, denying access. Looking out, it suddenly made her realize just how different Stars Hollow must be to him.
As she was looking out the window, she heard the click of the locks on the main door being turned, and her heart stopped. He was home. Jerking away, she hurried around his bag and out the door. As she entered the hallway, she stopped in her tracks. In front of her, right inside the main door, was an overly thin, tall man with his arms around Liz, kissing her for all he was worth. Rory blushed and looked away.
"Oh, Rory," Liz said, noticing her and pulling away from Rodney. She smiled and nudged her boyfriend with her elbow. "This is Rodney. Rodney, this is Rory, a friend of Jess's."
"Who?" Rodney asked, looking confused.
"Jess, my son," Liz explained. "You remember."
"Oh, right, right. Jess. Nice to meet you."
Rory smiled uncomfortably.
"I was just about to show her some old pictures. You wanna see?"
"Nah," Rodney answered, shaking his head. "I'll just go watch TV in our room."
"All right then," Liz agreed.
Rodney patted her bottom and headed down the hallway towards Rory. Rory moved out of the way, and he smiled, then disappeared through the beads.
Not sure what to say, Rory turned her attention back to Liz. She seemed unfazed. "C'mon, you're gonna die when you see these pictures," she said, settling onto the couch and patting the cushion beside her.
After a slight hesitation, Rory smiled and joined her.
They spent the next hour or so going through the pictures. Each one had a story, and Liz was happy to share the details. But Rory noticed that most of them were Jess as a baby or toddler, and none of them went past age ten. She wondered why but didn't ask. The men in the pictures also changed, with a fair degree of regularity, and none of them held the slightest resemblance to Jess. Rory knew his father had left when he was little and should have been present in some of them, but he wasn't.
They were nearly through the album when Rodney emerged from the bedroom and strolled to the refrigerator.
"Beer," he said. Rory wasn't sure if it was a statement or a question.
"Behind the milk," Liz stated.
Rod located one and pulled it out, using the counter to flip off the lid. "Want one?" he asked, looking in their direction.
Liz looked at Rory.
"Uh, no," Rory stuttered, surprised.
"Stars Hollow always raised them right," Liz praised. "None for me either," she told Rodney.
He shrugged. "Suit yourself."
The lock flipped open, and Rory's eyes shot to the door. This time, it had to be him. Her heart sped up, and she pushed her hair behind her ears nervously. The other lock clicked, and Rory glanced at Liz, who was clearly oblivious to the sheer panic suddenly shooting through her veins. The door opened, and Rory froze.
His eyes were fixed on the ground when he walked through, shoving his key back into his front pocket. His other arm was extended behind him, guiding the door shut. Rory watched him, amazed he couldn't hear her heart thumping. It was then he glanced into the living room and saw her. He froze too, and she saw confusion and surprise flash through his widened eyes. Then, she saw his gaze move almost imperceptibly to his mother seated beside her. Rodney leaned back against the counter, and, sensing movement, Jess looked in his direction. Rod. Liz. Rory. She saw his jaw tighten, and then, without a word, he turned and walked out the door, letting it slam behind him.
"Jess," she called, finding her voice as soon as the door shut. Her mind was screaming at her to go after him. She stood up and began looking around frantically. Somewhere in the background, she heard Rodney ask what Jess's behavior was all about, but she didn't fully process it. Locating it at last, she grabbed her bag and headed for the door. Her hand was on the doorknob when she remembered her manners. Turning back to Liz, she apologized breathlessly, "I'm sorry. I have to go. It was nice meeting you."
If Liz said anything, Rory didn't hear it. She was already out the door and headed for the stairwell.
She threw open the heavy door and started rushing down the stairs, her feet not moving fast enough. "Jess!" she called, trying to look for him and watch her feet at the same time. "Jess! Wait!" When he didn't respond, she moved faster, praying not to trip.
It seemed like the stairs kept stretching on forever, but eventually she reached the entryway and hurried through it and out the main door. Pausing on the stoop, she looked up the street and saw him, walking at a brisk pace towards the corner café. She rushed down the steps and began to run up the street after him. When he kept walking, she stopped and yelled his name desperately.
He paused, as if considering his options. She silently pleaded with him to turn around, and in the next moment, when he stormed back to where she was standing, she almost cried with relief.
"What the hell were you doing up there?" he asked angrily, pointing at the building.
She looked up at the apartments in confusion. "I was waiting for you."
"Why?"
"I don't know. I just… wanted to see you."
"Well, now you saw me. Go home."
"What? No," Rory stated firmly.
"Rory, go home."
She shook her head. "No."
"Yes," he said seriously before turning and heading away from her again.
She stepped around and stood in front of him. "Why did you leave?"
"You all seemed pretty cozy up there," he retorted. "I didn't want to intrude."
"That's not what I meant. Why did you leave Stars Hollow?"
"You didn't hear?" he asked sarcastically. "I got a B. I'm cured. No, wait, I'm pretty sure you knew that. After all, it was thanks to you, right?"
"Why are you so mad at me?"
"Does Dean know you're here?"
"Dean doesn't have anything to do with this," she stated, frustrated.
"I'm pretty sure he'd disagree."
"We broke up."
"Congratulations," Jess offered, showing no emotion.
She shifted uncomfortably. "You don't care?"
"Not particularly."
Rory shook her head in disbelief. "Fine."
"So is that why you came here?" he asked. "To tell me about Dean? I appreciate the sentiment, but you could've sent a postcard."
"That's not why I'm here."
"There's more?" Jess asked, feigning excitement. "Let me guess. Babette got a new gnome? No, wait. Taylor and Patty finally went at it in the middle of a town meeting? Did Luke suddenly lose the flann—"
"I came because I missed you," Rory interrupted, stopping him cold.
"What?" he asked.
"I said, I came because… because I missed you," she said, more quietly and hesitant.
He nodded. "Huh."
"That's it? That's all you have to say?" she asked, a pang shooting through her heart.
"What were you expecting?"
She looked at the buildings around her and shook her head. "Nothing," she said, accepting defeat. "Nevermind. This was obviously a mistake." Avoiding his eyes, she turned and started to walk away.
"Aren't you supposed to kiss me first?" he called after her.
She turned around to look at him. "What?"
"That's how it usually works," he explained.
Anger rising, she stormed back over to him. "You kissed me first."
"A moment of weakness," he casually admitted. "Still doesn't explain you though. When I pulled away, you pulled me back. Why?"
She hesitated, then, with nothing to lose, fixed her eyes on his. "Because I didn't want it to end."
"The chair you nearly knocked over on your way out the door begs to differ."
This time, she almost didn't feel the pain. She knew what he was doing.
"I'm sorry," she said. It was quiet and simple.
He fell silent.
"I kissed you because it felt right. It felt perfect. Everything about it was perfect, except me. I was confused, and every time I looked at you, it just got worse. And I know that doesn't excuse it, and you have every right to hate me, but I just came here… because I wanted you to know the truth."
He looked past her. "I can't do this."
"Do what?"
"This," he said, his tone explaining the word. "It's impossible. Being with you is impossible."
"Why?" she asked, trying to understand.
He forced himself to look at her. "Because every time I try to touch you, you disappear."
She searched his eyes. Then, slowly, she took a step towards him. Her hand fell gently on his cheek as she drew his lips to hers. Hesitantly, he let his hand brush against her hip ever so slightly. She pulled away and smiled. "See, I didn't disappear."
He removed his hand. "Not yet."
"I'm not going anywhere," she promised.
"Planning to move to New York then?"
She frowned. "Well, no, but…"
He took a step back. "You should probably go home."
"I have time. I can stay. You can sho—"
"Go home, Rory," he repeated, his voice serious again.
She looked at him in confusion. "That's it?"
He didn't say anything.
"I don't know how," she said desperately.
His voice was even. "Just go up this block and take a right…"
"That's not what I meant," Rory interrupted.
He glanced at her but quickly looked away.
"You just want me to leave?"
"Yes."
She shook her head. "What is it you always say?" she asked angrily. "It isn't about me! Not everything is about me. Right? So then this is about you?"
He tensed. "Just go home, Rory."
She stared at him. Then, she moved to walk by. As she passed, her arm brushed against his. "Who's running now?" she asked on a wispy breath. He closed his eyes, listening to her footsteps getting further and further away. When he finally allowed himself to open them and look up the block, she was gone.
