How Do I Live?
By Tony
When everything important to you is taken away, how do you find comfort? Sometimes, it's closer than you think.... Inu/Sango (Just trying this out)...Please read and review!!!
The villainous Naraku was destroyed; the Shikon Jewel was whole; Inuyasha? He was unsure of what would happen next. Kagome had become detached from him, since the completion of the Jewel. She seemed apprehensive about something, but Inuyasha couldn't quite put his finger on WHAT. Kikyo hadn't made an appearance since the final battle with Naraku, during which she helped destroy the monster with one of her arrows. That was over 2 months ago, though. Inuyasha had believed that with Naraku finished, Kikyo would have no more attachment to this world, no reason to keep walking among the living. She would surely claim his life, and return to hell with Inuyasha in tow. This wasn't the case so far, though. Inuyasha spent much of his time looking around wearily, awaiting Kikyo's appearance. No, more like DREADING it. He had found friendship, with Miroku, Sango, and even Shippo. He had found love, REAL love, with Kagome. Why should he leave it all behind, forget about everything important to him, because of an ancient promise? It wasn't Inuyasha's fault that Naraku had tricked Kikyo and himself. Inuyasha rarely slept at night; he spent his hours peering down from his high perch, among the trees. "Don't come for me, Kikyo. I can't leave them; not now, not ever." He mumbled to himself, as the moonlight illuminated his watery eyes.
The demons were appearing every day, each one fighting for posession of the sacred jewel. Inuyasha and the rest of the group continued to fight them off, although they were tiring of the constant battles. "We need to do something with the jewel, Inuyasha. We can't continue to defend it forever." Miroku told Inuyasha, as they walked back to the village (after yet another battle). "Feh." Inuyasha mumbled in response. "I know we need to do something with it, but what? I just want the damn thing out of our lives." Inuyasha thought to himself. "Well? You could always give it back to Kikyo." Miroku mentioned, thinking out loud. "Kikyo? What would SHE do with it?" Inuyasha yelled. "She is the original protector of the jewel, so I just figured she might know the best what to do with it." Miroku replied. "I don't trust her. And, I don't want to see her anymore. I want her out of my life, monk." Inuyasha muttered. But the more Inuyasha thought about it, the more he realized that the idea made sense. Maybe by finding Kikyo and giving the jewel to her, it could make her leave this world? Maybe she would let Inuyasha stay? He couldn't be sure, but Inuyasha quickly started to believe that the idea was worth a shot.
Kagome continuously went back and forth from the feudal era and the present, trying to complete her schoolwork. She was spending less and less time with Inuyasha, because she was worried. Worried that Kikyo would come to claim him, worried that she'd never see him again. How could she tell him her true feelings? She didn't want Inuyasha to know that she loved him, just for him to be dragged into hell. She sighed to herself as she did her homework, back in present times. "Why must this be so difficult?" She wondered, tears dripping on her math book. She couldn't sit there anymore, couldn't try and forget about Inuyasha. She needed to go back to him, and tell him how she felt. How could she ever feel complete, if she never told Inuyasha her feelings? Even if he was destined to be with Kikyo, he needed to know how SHE felt. Kagome quickly dropped her pencil, grabbed her backpack, and headed towards the bone-eater's well. Even with no jewel shards, she could pass through (since the jewel's completion).
Kagome arrived back in the feudal era shortly after, but Inuyasha was nowhere to be found. "Where did Inuyasha go, Miroku? Do you know?" She asked the monk. "Yes. He said that he was going to find Kikyo. He said they 'had some things to talk about'." Miroku answered. Kagome froze, and she immediately looked heartbroken. He had went to see Kikyo? "He must not have the same feelings for me, after all. He's seeking Kikyo out, when he knows she wants to take him to hell. He'd rather keep his promise to her than be with me." Kagome thought to herself, tears welling up in her eyes. Miroku looked very confused, but he didn't know what to say as she ran back towards the well. "What just happened with Kagome?" Sango asked, emerging from a nearby hut. "I told her about where Inuyasha went, and she lost it. Poor, confused girl." Miroku responded, shaking his head. Kagome leapt back into the well, unaware of what was happening nearby.
"Kikyo!" Inuyasha yelled, landing in front of the un-dead miko. "So you finally come to see me, Inuyasha. Is there a reason for your visit?" Kikyo asked, her voice still cold and un-feeling. "Yes. I came to give you this, Kikyo." Inuyasha answered, holding out the sacred jewel. "The jewel? Why give it to me?" Kikyo asked, not expecting THIS. "Because you were it's original protector. This thing brings nothing but pain and suffering to all, Kikyo. I have no desire to use it, and I don't want anyone else getting their hands on it. You need to destroy it, Kikyo." Inuyasha replied, his voice very serious. "Destroy it? There is only one way to accomplish that, Inuyasha. I'd have to take it with me to hell." She replied, her eyes looking empty.
"I won't go!" Inuyasha blurted out, immediately after she finished. "But you are obligated to me, Inuyasha. Your life belongs to me." Kikyo reminded him. "No, I can't go with you. I have friends now, I have a real love. Please Kikyo, don't do this to me." Inuyasha half-begged, his face looking flushed. Kikyo was stunned by his change in countenance. Inuyasha wasn't the type to beg, not ever. "Could he really care this much, for those people he surrounded himself with?" Kikyo wondered. "After all that's happened to me, because of falling in love with YOU, how can I just let you continue living, while I go to hell?" Kikyo asked, her voice still cold. "This life, the one I have now, is all I could ever ask for. I don't know how I could ever repay the debt I owe to you, but please let me stay." He mumbled, tears welling up in his eyes. "Tears? In Inuyasha's eyes? I never thought I'd see the day." Kikyo thought to herself.
"I did love you, Inuyasha. And I will prove it by letting you stay, letting you live your life." Kikyo whispered, her voice cracking. She finally was feeling emotion, emotion wrought by her feelings for Inuyasha. Inuyasha was stunned; she would let him live? Let him break his promise? "Kikyo....." He whispered, looking at her with grateful eyes. She held up the jewel, and the souls she had collected silently began flying out of her body. They kept emerging until all were gone, and Kikyo was left with only with the small piece of hatred she had started with, hatred for Inuyasha. But now, it wasn't hatred anymore. It was....love. "Goodbye, Inuyasha." She whispered, a tear flowing down her cold cheek. Inuyasha couldn't keep his emotions in check, at this point. Tears began flowing down his face as well as he watched Kikyo slowly turn to ash, the jewel now clutched to her chest. "Goodbye, Kikyo." Inuyasha sobbed, watching her disappear. With that, Kikyo and the sacred jewel were no more. "Thank you." He whispered, digging a hole to bury her ashes.
Inuyasha wandered back to the village, still in shock over what had happened. He had been hoping that Kikyo would let him live, but he wasn't EXPECTING it. He just knew that the jewel needed to be taken care of, and he had hoped Kikyo would do that. She HAD loved him, and she had just proven that to him. It was difficult for Inuyasha to bear, but the fact that he was ALIVE, the fact that he could live with Kagome, was enough to keep him going. He passed by Kaede's village, and went straight for the well. "I'm coming for you, Kagome." Inuyasha whispered, leaping into the well. But when he hit the bottom, he realized that he hadn't gone anywhere at all. His eyes widened, and he immediately realized what was wrong. "No. This can't be!!!!!" Inuyasha yelled, as he frantically dug into the ground. With the jewel gone, the link between the feudal era and Kagome's time had been broken. He couldn't get back to her! After about 2 hours of digging, Inuyasha came to this sad realization on his own. After what he had just witnessed with Kikyo, the pain of THIS was too much to bear. The one who he wanted to live for, to spend his life with, would no longer be able to see him. Covered in dirt, Inuyasha layed down and began sobbing. His fists pounded the sides of the well, as his body felt like exploding. "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" He yelled out, his cry piercing the black and empty night sky.
(That's it for chapter one. I know, it was a little sad, with not a whole lot of happy....But things will brighten up for Inuyasha soon, don't you worry....Please review!!!! Feel free to mail any other feedback to the e-mail address I listed earlier!!! )
