Chapter Five: "If you're not the one"

 Daniel Beddingfield

The Marauders sat all together, plotting their next prank. It was going to be a good one, James could tell. So far, they planned to slip something into the drinks of the Slytherins from down in the kitchens, but they hadn't decided WHAT the spiked drinks would do.

"I'm telling you James, the red and gold robes is a good idea!" Sirius complained in a whiny tone.

"No way! Sirius, that's the dumbest idea I've heard since the blue Jell-O prank! We should get Snivelly to do a solo for McGonagall!" James retorted, thoroughly annoyed with his best friend's whininess.

"You're both wrong! We should do-" Remus' thought was interrupted by the slam of the common room portrait hole.  Lily and Meredith both stomped through the common room, obviously infuriated. Remus stood and stepped over to Meredith, ignoring the conversation he had abandoned. He took her by the arm, asking what was wrong in a quiet tone.

James did the same, but when he took Lily into his arms, asking over her shoulder what was bothering her, she pulled away from his grasp.

"What's wrong Lils? You seem upset…"

"What's wrong with me?! You are what's wrong with me James!" she screeched, pushing him away as she flew up the stairs to the girls dormitories. She stopped midway, turning back around, her makeup smeared down her face from the gushing tears she was crying.

"Lily, what did-" James started, but she interrupted him.

"James Potter, I never, ever want to see you again!" she said in a deep, shaky tone that was filled with hurt and tears. Turning back around, Lily ran up the stairs, faster this time, reaching her dorm room. She paused only to rip open the door, and then slam it as hard as she could.

James looked after her, in shock and awe. He truly could not fathom why Lily was upset with him. Then, the events of the past nights flashed back to him. Those blonde bimbos had screwed up his chances with Lily! He slapped his head, sinking into a nearby fluffy red armchair. James was screwed into a hole he had dug himself. He was the only one that knew he had carried Lily to her dorm last night. She probably thought Dumbledore or some teacher had put her there or something. How could she know? Other than his falling over a pile of books, James had been silent and gone unseen throughout the entire time.

Half an hour passed, near six, and everyone was pouring from the dorms to go to dinner. James stayed in his position, not bothering to look up at the passing people. The only person he wanted to see was so angry with him that she probably would have spit in his eye if he looked up at her. He kept his hand over his forehead, his untamable black hair scattered about, most likely sticking out in odd places like it usually did. Not caring how it looked, James ran his fingers through it, making it stick out from his head.

"James? Are you still in there?"

He tilted his head up a bit to meet Remus' brown eyes. He looked worried, and his dark eyes gave away his emotions quite easily. Moony always was the smart one, the sensible one, the one they all depended on to keep them in check. A lot of times he would veto a prank just because of the risk, much to James and Sirius' dismay. Remus usually made up good pranks though, and they were mostly relatively safe. Sometimes.  On occasion. Okay, so he was just as bad as the other Marauders in pranking, but at least he exercised some caution in the way of extra prank preparation. A prank never went into action under Moony's command unless it was checked over thoroughly for danger first.  

"I'm alright Moony; I just think I'll skip dinner. I'm really not hungry." 

"Are you sure James? You can't let what Lily said get to you. I talked to Meredith, and she's just upset by the fan club's stunt yesterday. Look, James, she'll get over it. I know she will." Remus added reassuringly

"She hates me Remus, she HATES me! There's no going back now!" James shouted, startling a few second years passing by. James glared at them, and they quickly rushed past him and Remus, scared off by his anger.

"She doesn't, Lily's just angry. She'll forget all about it by tomorrow. Look, Sirius is whining," James looked at Sirius who was tugging on Remus' hand, trying to get to dinner, "I hope you'll at least get some food from the kitchen… OKAY Sirius! Bye James!" Remus added as Sirius grabbed him and they both joined the river of students flowing out of the common room.

Another half hour passed, and James finally decided to get up from his chair. His legs wobbled a bit, being put under the sudden stress of his body weight. Once he had regained stability, he decided to head up to his dorm and to try to get some sleep. Maybe things would be better after sleep had taken him from the conscious world that was so screwed up right now.

As James ascended the marble stairs, a song floated through his head, taking up all thinking space. The song, like a thick London fog clouded his mind with thoughts about the lyrics. Suddenly, he felt compelled to sing, and so he began singing.

"If you're not the one then why did my soul feel glad today? If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way? If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call? If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?"

He reached his room and flung himself carelessly onto his bed, staring up at the ceiling, plunging back into the foggy sounds that had besieged his every thought.

"I never know what the future brings, but I know you are here with me now. We'll make it through, and I hope you are the one I share my life with."

Unbeknownst to James, in a tower not too far away, a red haired sweet sixteen year old lay on her bed, doing the same. She had just finished crying her heart out. It wasn't fair! James had obviously let that girl suffocate him! Why would he do something so cruel to her? The one guy she opened up to had shot her down publicly.

Meredith had expressed great concern for Lily, especially when she had said that she wasn't hungry. It wasn't like Lily to miss a meal, even if she wasn't hungry. She had done everything she could to get Lily to go, but Lily refused again and again, saying she never wanted to see Potter again in her life, why start seeing him now?

She had eventually given up on getting Lily to go, saying she had to go to dinner to make sure Remus didn't think she was ditching him. Lily understood; she and Remus were right for each other, and he probably would think that she was ditching him, partially blaming him for James' stupidity. They were both smart and sensible, always knowing and doing the right thing. She sniffled as Meredith left the dorm room.  

"I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand! If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am? Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?"

Lily sang out softly to herself, letting her sobs interrupt the phrases.

"If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed? If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?"

It sounded so cliché, but it was true. There was no escaping the voice that was whispering James Potter in her head. She rolled over onto her stomach, burying her head deeper into her pillow, not really caring that it would probably be black mascara pinstriped by the time she was finished crying. That raised a question in her mind… Would she ever stop crying? Would she live in her loneliness without James, being mad at him forever?

 "If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life? If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?"

James sang out quietly, fingering the picture that was taken of them at the ball. The magical picture kept replaying the scene of him spinning her about his head and then setting her down, kissing her. He did think of Lily, and what would happen if he ever married her. Lily Evans Potter had a very nice ring to it… He brushed the black hair from his face, frustrated. James could imagine Lily as his wife, the girl he'd spend his whole life with.

She was perfect! Her red hair always curled just the right way to frame her lovely milk white skin; her striking emerald eyes always shimmered with emotion, like a window to her heart. The thing James loved most about Lily was her attitude about everything. She followed rules well, a virtue James had never accomplished and probably never would, she was a prefect, and the top of her classes. It wasn't just that she was smart, it was her whole being. Around her hung an aura of magnificence, dominant enough to make any guy fall head over heels for her.

"I don't know why you're so far away, but I know that this much is true: We'll make it through."

Lily rolled from her bed, falling to the floor with a thud. She had to get out of here. The emptiness of the room was driving her completely and totally insane. Quickly, she seized her terry cloth robe and slippers, taking a wet tissue to clean up her running make up.

She descended the girl's dormitory staircase, singing quietly to herself the next part of the song. Simultaneously, James had left his dorm for some calm thinking in the common room. He was going down his stairs as he heard the muffled soft soprano voice floating through the thick wall. He entered into the song, walking slower down the stairs to listen to their harmony.

"And I hope you are the one I share my life with, and I wish that you could be the one I die with, and I pray in you're the one I build my home with. I hope I love you all my life…"

Lily stopped singing, listening to the young baritone voice that pierced the four inch stone that separated the tower stairs. She thought at first the harmony was in her head, but as soon as she cut away from the song, she was sure. Someone was singing along with her, and the voice was awfully recognizable. Then her brain jumped into gear, processing the vocal patterns and depth, reaching one definite solution: James.  

"I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand. If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am? Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?"

James stopped walking, leaning against the ice cold wall. He let his head tilt backwards and closed his hazel eyes. Life could be so annoying sometimes, especially now. He loved Lily, and about this he was sure. His only problem: you guessed it! She currently hated him and "never, ever wanted to see him again."

          "'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away, and I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today."

          Her mind staggered momentarily as she trying to figure out why James was singing along with her. Everyone was at dinner, and should be there for another hour or so. It didn't make sense at all. He wasn't someone who just missed meals, unless he was really upset. Lily continued her slow walk, carefully singing the next part of the song.

          "'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right, and though I can't be with you tonight, and know my heart is by your side."

          It was true; she loved James, more than anything she'd ever loved in her life. Why had it taken so much time to realize how much she loved him? Six years of rejecting every guy who came along her path, and then one day, her best guy friend asks her to a dance, and she falls totally and completely for him. Why did she close herself off for so long? Was it because she secretly knew that the only one that would matter had no interest in her as a girlfriend? Lily wasn't sure.

          She reached the end of the staircase, finally. She walked into the common room and sat by the fire, which was dancing and flickering merrily. Lily sat down on one of the couches, exhausted by the whole ordeal. As she closed her bright thoughtful eyes, she heard the voice singing from the guy's stairs behind her. Her eyelids flew open, and she turned her head to see James looking at her, singing the ending chorus.

           "I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand. If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am? Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?"

           Without any words, she clamored to her feet and walked over to the last step of the staircase, where James stood. Almost automatically, Lily reached her arms around his neck and at the same time they moved in closer and kissed. She felt him wind his arms around her waist, pulling her closer. She hated being angry at him, even if he had acted stupid and idiotic the other night. There was something that kept telling her in the back of her mind that whenever she was with him, talking to him, or even just looking at him, that this was right, the way it's supposed to be.

          James' mind was finally at ease, after that complete fiasco the other night. Lily was back in his arms, and he planned to do whatever it took to keep her there. As far as he was concerned, this was where they both belonged; in each other's arms. It was as if time had frozen, and all there was in the world was the two of them, just being there together.

          The Common room portal suddenly swung open, Remus and Meredith walked in together, hand in hand.

          "Damn it James, you always steal my ideas!" Remus exclaimed as the entering couple caught sight of the two.

          Lily and James broke apart from their kiss, and as Lily blushed, James just smiled coolly. All was right in the world.

                A/N: Hey! Thanks Reviewers! YAY! Okay… um yeah!

        SmileyFreak:D : I know! Don't you just love him!? Sigh… too bad he's taken… lol Thanks! I seriously need to like get you a plaque that says most awesome Review. Hmmm…

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        Andie Potter: Sure! The next chapter is Jason Mraz, but I promise #7 will be Come Clean. Happy? Hope so :D

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· Because I wrote it, and I know no movie corporation that would buy it…

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Milagro: :D Glad ya like it! I liked chapter four, but this one had a lot of dimension to it… Ya know? What with the whole switching parts and doing it simultaneously... I thought it was cool, but it's probably just me… :D

        EviL PunK NoT: Aww thanks! :D Oh yeah, and I so knew that was his name.. cough cough anyway, thanks! That reminds me, if y'all have any comments and corrections, feel free to tell me! No flames though! And it'll take um, 10 reviews for the next chapter! C'mon I know you want to review!

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