Disclaimer: CSI - isn't mine, the song isn't mine either!!

Spoilers: none

A/N: The song I used here is titled, 'I think I'm in love' by a Filipina broadway singer, Lea Salonga!

Chapter four: I think I'm in love

Is. This love Feeling restless inside

What a beautiful day! It's been a great week, really. People in the lab have been telling me that I look like I'm glowing. Can you believe that? Oh well, at first I thought they just needed something but maybe...their actually telling the truth. I mean like five nights ago when I came in for shift after my two days of leave, I worked with Sara on a case. We found a DB stored in a car compartment, and when I checked in with Doc Robbins to ask on what he found out on autopsy, he said that I look different. I actually raised my eyebrow at him, and then before I left he told me that I look like I'm glowing. I rolled my eyes at Sara when she chuckled. People have been telling me that ever since I got back from my leave. Well then, after that I thought that maybe they just missed me, but after another two days, Hodges and Jacqui gave me the same compliment.

Oh and you know what, just last night Grissom told me I look nicer than usual. I was going to hit him coz it was like an insult, then he added that it's like I'm glowing or something. I actually blushed at this.

Oh, it's getting late I have to get ready for work.

Again, here I am sitting inside my car parked right outside CSI building. A week ago I asked myself could you control your heart? Thinking back, I wonder why I always ask the questions with which have answers, I do not like. Well I have been in denial for a very long time. All this years I have been feeling something for Gil but I chose to ignore it. Recently I asked myself if I'm falling for him, like I even want to answer that! Well after that whole day of debating with myself and ending up with a major headache, I have chosen not to think about it anymore. And guess what! Not thinking about it actually relieved my migraine! I really haven't thought about it for a week, and now, now I'm here thinking about it.... and I can feel another headache coming.

Oh there he is! I can see his car! He is parking his car next to mine! And he comes out of his car, wow, the headache that was creeping to come earlier is now totally gone. I lean my head on my seat; I smile as I close my eyes and inhale deeply getting ready to go out. I'm not really in a mood for work tonight... but if I don't get out of this car, I won't be beside him.

I glance at my car window as I hear him knock on it. "Are you going to stay inside your car the whole night?" I hear him asked. I rolled my eyes, as I opened my car door. We walk side by side towards the CSI building. Mmmm... he smells nice!

Wanting you To always be by my side

I don't even want you out of my side

You are in my thoughts

all day and night

I can't get you out of my mind

I think I'm in love

I walk a little closer to him, I put my arms around his, it's actually just normal between the two of us when we walk arm and arm together, since we've been best friends for a long time. Well we don't really walk with our arms entangled at work just outside... and well now we're at work, but ... what the heck! He doesn't seem to mind anyways. His arm feels nice... I feel like a pervert! Wait a minute... I am! Oh damn, Gil, now look what you did to me.

I feel my face flushed at the thought of this, so I removed my arm, he looks at me and I turn my head at the other side and lowered my gaze biting my lower lip, I can feel my face burning hot red!

"Cath" he is trying to get my attention

"Gris!!" I hear Greg's voice coming our way. "I found something on the samples" Greg said as he gasp for air, he handed Gil the paper. "Good work Greg. Cath, I'll see you later" he said as he left with Greg.

Yay! Saved by the lab rat!! Oh Greg, I owe you one. Mental note, don't kick Greg's ass for a week, he has just saved your butt!

I walk in the break room and found Nick, who is AGAIN staring at Sara's back.

"Oh hey Cath" she greeted me as I enter the room and she made her way out. I sit next to Nick and I decided to interrogate.

"Have you asked her out yet?"

"Who?"

Ahh. Just as I thought, he is playing innocent.

"Sara"

"Why would I – "

"Save it Nicky! I'm not going to buy it. You are practically drooling over her, and by the looks you've been giving her, she might melt anytime soon."

"I'm that obvious huh?"

I smirk and nod. So here I spent a few minutes encouraging Nick, he is having doubts that Sara might reject him. And here I am, telling him that if he wants her he needs to take the risk. Since when did I become the love expert?? I ask myself as he started to shoot more questions. My plan was just to tease him a little not become a heart doctor!! Guess my plan backfired huh.

I think I'm in love

Think I'm in love with you

Every single day Every single night

Every single moment of my life

I want to spend it all with you

Warrick and Sara enter the room, Grissom was right behind them. Grissom said we'd be reviewing the evidences on the last case for the trial. I can't really concentrate.... I heard him saying something about what Greg found and that it will help a lot, I didn't catch it when he said specifically what Greg found.

For some reason I can't stop thinking, thinking and thinking about something I am not so sure what.

I'm really not sure if I am making any sense so right now I'm actually starting to get worried about myself.

But I guess I'm going to be fine. I mean this only happens to me when he is sitting right next to me, like now. If he is here, I can't concentrate, probably coz I don't know exactly what I feel. And when I don't know what I feel, I can't think straight if I can't think straight how the hell could I act straight!

So let me see, I have been constantly dreaming about him when I sleep, though I wouldn't want to admit it but I actually feel happy when I wake up after dreaming of him. When I wake up the first thing I think about is my daughter then him, sometimes it's him first then Linds and there are this very weird times when I think about the two of them both at the same time – not sure how I do that though. I think it's time I stop denying and start accepting this.

Hmm... is this infatuation? – I don't think so! Why did I even bother asking that? Shit, I should have finished this thinking while I was at the car!

Okay so might as well start to where I left off before. What was I thinking about before I thought of the coming headache and before I saw him coming, which made my heart, thumped.

Where was I? Oh yea, I was thinking about what I felt for him before. Well, I've always felt this way all this years and I have chosen to ignore it, and now, now I don't think I can ignore it any longer.

I think. I think. I think I'm...

I think I'm in love.

I think I'm in love

I think I'm in love

I think I'm in love with you

I think I'm in love. I think I'm in love with Gil!

I feel as my jaw dropped, and my eyes widened. "Oh shit!"

Okay so maybe I said that a little too loud, coz I can feel all eyes in the room shifted and started staring at me.

"You okay?" he asked with a worried look on his face as he placed his hand on my knee.

Okay? You're asking me if I'm okay? I just faced reality man! And now, now I really want to run but I can't move coz I can feel your god damn hands on my knee and I can feel the bones in my body turning into Jell-O!

"I'm fine!" I answered a little to abruptly

"Uh. You. Um. You guys continue. I just. Ah. I just need to get some air" I stammered then stood up. I hurriedly exit the room and I head to the locker room.

Tell me, that you care

Tell me...please

Tell me that you also feel

The way that I do...

I sit at the bench and stare at my locker. I sit there as I go back twenty years ago.

Everything that happened in my life started to replay in my mind.

Now going back for probably the third time tonight, well it looks like. It looks like, it looks like ... I'm not the only who has been feeling something. Him too! Those looks, the smiles, the support, the care.... everything.

Or is this just me wishful thinking?

Does he care for me? Of course he does!

But is this like friendly care? Or something deeper than that?

All this years, has he been dropping hints?

And why is it I just see this now?

Am I just starting to misinterpret things?

Or have I really misinterpreted things before and just seeing it clearly now?

Am I really in love with him?

How long have I been feeling this for him?

Oh God! Major Headache!!

"You know if you need air, I suggest you go outside, not in here!"

I glance at the doorway to see Warrick standing there. Look at him with a smirk in his face, can't he see I'm having a self-discovery/dilemma/major headache moment here!

"Cath what's wrong?" he asks, his tone changed from the teasing tone to a concerned one.

What's wrong? What's wrong? Everything is so wrong!

"Nothing Warrick" I lied. Though I know that he wouldn't buy it for a second, well it wouldn't hurt to try, and I just hope he gets the message.

"Catherine."

Okay so maybe he didn't get the message.

"Cath!"

The message Warrick! The message! Ggrr!!!

Can't describe Words are just not enough Can't explain

"You don't want to talk about it?"

Oh thank god he finally got the message! So I nod to answer his question.

I see him walk over and sat beside me. He patted his hand on my shoulder,

"If you ever need or want to talk, I'll be here. Okay?"

I sighed and nodded again. He was about to stand up when I asked, "Warrick, have you ever felt so lost?"

"What do you mean?"

"I had some question that led to some kind of realization which led me on having this other questions, and whenever I try to answer it I just end up with another question... and now it's all a mess!!"

"Let me guess, this realization stroked you while you were pondering with questions back at the break room?"

"How did you guess?"

"Well, I noticed you thinking deeply back there, but not even paying attention to what we were talking about."

"I see. You're a very good observant"

"Cath. Did you just realized that you're in love with some one?"

"Are you some kind of psychic?"

Oh shit! Me and my big mouth!! Catherine! Think first! Think first!! Damn it!

Now he's smiling, what is he smiling about?

"No I am not psychic, it's just that I have friend who had the same realization"

"Let me guess, Nick?"

"Now look whose psychic!"

"I am no psychic. Your friend is just not that good in keeping it to himself!"

It all happened to fast What exactly am I feeling right now If this is love I got to know somehow Just how long this madness will last 'cause I think I'm in love

"So you're in love?"

"No. Yes. Maybe. I think. Oh I don't know!!"

I am so confused ... It all happened so fast. Well maybe not it's been an ongoing thing for years, but I just realized it ... or rather, it is just now that I can't ignore this any longer.

"Your in denial"

"Maybe. Maybe not. I don't know anymore!"

"But you're considering it?"

I take a deep breath. Hmm. let me see; well I guess I am considering it. But why would I even consider it if I'm not right? I mean there is no reason for me to consider it if I don't feel it, coz let's face it no one has even asked me that, so basically I'm the one who placed the thought in my mind. And I wouldn't have thought of it without any reason, this isn't something you think about in random about your best friend for twenty years!

"Cath? You still with me?"

"Oh sorry, I kind ah. Drifted off"

"So are you considering it?"

"No."

"You're not considering it?"

"Not really."

Warrick gives me a very confused look so I try to make it a little clearer. I take another deep breath, I'm gonna have to admit it someday, why not now?

"I'm not just considering it. I think I really am in love"

I think I'm in love with you...

I think I'm in love with you.



= TBC =