Disclaimer: CSI ain't mine the song isn't mine either

Spoilers: none

Feedback: oh yes please! I would love that!

A/N: Another song by Lea Salonga titled, 'Don't know what to do, don't know what to say'. Hope you enjoy and don't forget to tell me what you think!

Chapter Five: Don't know what to do, Don't know what to say

I have loved you only in my mind

But I know that there will come a time

You'll feel this feeling I have inside

"Well we have three cases tonight. Sara your going solo, Catherine you're with me – "

"Uh Gris, could I just go in with Warrick?" Catherine interrupted. Grissom gave her a suspicious look. "I uh. I'm not feeling so well, this case with you is a double homicide in a room filled with dead animals and their organs, I don't think that'll help me much. I might throw up and contaminate the crime scene and possible evidence, I'll just take the home invasion if you don't mind" Catherine was able to quickly think of a reasonable answer to Grissom's questioning and suspicious look.

"Your feeling sick? Why don't you just go home and take some rest" Grissom's voice was filled with concerned the look he is giving her right now isn't really helping with Catherine's huge effort on fighting her urge of jumping to him and screaming out how much she loves him.

"No really it's okay!" Catherine replied as she stood up and quickly grabbed the file from Grissom.

"Come on Warrick let's go!" she called as she headed out the room.

Warrick and Catherine are settled in the car.

Warrick has been looking at Catherine as if analyzing her.

"Warrick, will you please stop staring at me"

Warrick shifted his gaze to the window beside him, after a few more moments of silence he turned to Catherine and asked, "Is it Grissom?"

"What are you talking about?"

"The guy you realized you are in love with?"

"Why would you think it's him?"

"You mean besides the fact that I have noticed you keeping your distance from him since that little talk we had at the locker room?"

Catherine looked at him for a second and looked back again to the road, "I don't know what you're talking about"

"You know, all this years, there has been this chemistry and tension between the two of you. Honestly speaking the way you two look at each other, it is way beyond friends. And I didn't just noticed nor realized that lately. Me along with all the employees of CSI Las Vegas have been seeing it for God knows how long!"

"Don't exaggerate Warrick"

"So why are you keeping your distance to him when you finally admitted it to yourself?"

Catherine remained silent so Warrick continued. "Is it because you are afraid that he'd notice or are you having a hard time controlling yourself on throwing yourself on him and spilling your guts out?"

Catherine sighed and thought that it is no use to deny it.

"Both!"

"What are you so afraid of?"

"Oh I don't know. Rejection? Ruining years of friendship? Making a complete fool out of myself? Scaring him away?

"He has loved you all this years Cath, you're the only one who doesn't notice it"

"Really?"

"Yes. Really" Catherine tried to consider this for a moment, and then decided this isn't the right time to think about her love life.

'I miss Grissom' Catherine thought, it's been two days since she last saw him coz he has been so busy working with Nick on that case that the two of them were suppose to be working at. But well since that 'little discovery' she had at the break room, she has been keeping distance from him. Well it has been three weeks since then and she misses him very much. She's been constantly dreaming of him every night, and found herself day dreaming every now and then, so she decided to muster up the courage and just tell him.

You're a "hopeless romantic" is what they say

Falling in and out of love

just like a play

Memorizing each line

I still don't know what to say

What to say...

Catherine is now staring at her bathroom mirror practicing the little speech she has been trying to put together since that night that Warrick told her that Grissom has always loved her.

Catherine took a deep breath before going out of her car. She walked in the building full of confidence; her first stop is Grissom's office. She found the door closed, she knocked and no one answered, she opened it enough so she can take a peek if he is inside or not, and found the room empty. Catherine sighed and said, "Guess he's not here"

"May I know who are you looking for?" asked a voice from behind her. Catherine almost jumped out of her skin.

She turned around to see the man she was looking for, "Don't do that!!"

"What?" Grissom asked chuckling at the look he just saw in Catherine's face

"Creeping behind me!"

"So who were you looking for?"

"Oh I don't know I came by, stopped, knocked and peeked at Gil Grissom's office to look for Jim Brass!" Catherine said with sarcasm.

"Oh I see." Catherine playfully hit him in the arm. Grissom opened his office door and Catherine followed him inside.

"So why were you looking for me?" Grissom asked as he took his seat.

"Uh. Well."

"Cath, why are you fidgeting??"

"Huh? Oh! I, uh. I'm sorry." Catherine took her seat.

She tried to remember the speech she was practicing over and over again for two days now.

"Catherine what's wrong?" Grissom stood and sat beside her to the couch in his office. Catherine sighed, she looked at Grissom then bit her lower lip. She lowered her gaze then she closed her eyes, she sighed again and looked back at Grissom.

"Okay Catherine, you really have to tell me what is going on. This isn't like you, why are you so nervous? First you ran out of the break room, then you started avoiding me – "

"Well that's what I wanted to talk about." Catherine interrupted him, she placed her hand in his she looked at his eyes and tried to muster up the courage to speak, and unfortunately her mind blacked out and she forgot about the lines she has memorized, and so she decided to just tell him what she feels on the spot and forget about the practiced and prepared god damn speech.

"Grissom. We have been friends, best of friends, for years. You have helped me get a job here. You have been saving my ass for a number of times. You always take care of me. I know that you worry about me, and that you will always be there for me. And I want to say thank you. These past few days, I have been really mean to you, I have been avoiding you and I am so sorry. I just want to say that I. Uh. "

Catherine removed her hands from his and lowered her gaze, Grissom furrowed, he touched her face to make her face him. "You what?"

"I. Uh. I- "

'I LOVE YOU!!' she screamed inside her head.

"I. I missed you" she said looking at him, 'Well at least I didn't lie!' Catherine thought, as she embraced Grissom.

"You must really missed me" said Grissom as he patted Catherine's back.

"I'm sorry if I avoided you. It's just that I had a lot of things going in my mind and I felt confused and well... I didn't know what I was doing" Catherine said as she pulled back from the embrace.

"No need to apologize. But Cath, next time you feel confused, remember you could always talk to me. Okay?"

"Okay."

"So what were you confused about?"

"My feelings." Catherine stated then thought 'If he asks the right question this is going to lead to what I really feel and I'll spill it out'

"What do you mean?"

'And there he goes, and asked the right question. Deep breath Catherine. Take a deep breath.' She thought once again

"My feelings, on love. I had some sudden realization"

Grissom looked at her confused. 'Is she regretting she didn't take Anthony back?' he thought

"Is it about Anthony?"

"Uh. No. I mean, yes! uh yeah, that's right it's uh about him yeah it's about him!" she said as she put on a nervous smile.

"You regretting it?"

"Well I almost did but now it's clear and I just realized I did the right thing" Catherine lied.

Don't know what to do

Whenever you are near

Don't know what to say

My heart is floating in tears

When you pass by I could fly

"Well it's almost time for shift, let's go meet the others" said Grissom as he stood and got the file cases in his table.

He and Catherine went out to meet the other three members of the team. "So have you nailed the murderer?" Catherine asked refferring to the double homicide case, as the two of them walked

"Yep." Grissom answered as he opened the door, and saw the three CSI's waiting. Grissom gave out the assignments. Nick and Sara would be working together; Catherine and Warrick will be working with him.

After sometime the three of them went back to the lab to test the evidences they have found. They were all inside the lab, Catherine was looking at the swab they found under the microscope, she has been looking at the specimen for a minute, she glanced up and saw Grissom she smiled at the sight of him then returned her gaze to the specimen with her mind thinking about him. They were testing some of the cloths they found in the crime scene.

"You okay Cath?" asked Grissom glancing at Catherine who is standing right next to her

"Hmm?"

"You look tensed"

"No I'm okay"

"Uh Cath could I see you outside for a minute?" Warrick asked.

He led Catherine out the room, "What is it Warrick?" she asked when they got outside.

"Cath, you have to play it cool"

"Play it cool??"

"Relax! You look so tensed and nervous every time he gets near you"

"I don't know what to do when he's around!"

"Just be yourself"

"Are you saying I should pounce on him?"

"I'm not saying for you to loose your inhibition Cath"

"Right!" Warrick shook his head from side to side and smirked.

"What!"

"Nothing. It's just. Well I can't believe I'm seeing you like this"

"Like what?"

"Tensed. And like an in love teenager"

"A what?!"

"I've been catching you glancing at him smiling!"

"So you've been watching me?"

"No, I've been trying to talk to you about the case but even before I could talk I see you all giddy so I just forget about it coz I might burst into laughter!" he teased

"Me. Giddy. Catherine Willows, giddy? Those words don't fit in the same sentence Warr"

"I know. It's amusing really"

"Damn. I have it bad"

"Oh Yeah"

Both of them smirked. "Okay come on let's get back before he suspects" said Catherine as they both returned inside the room. When they entered the room Grissom gave both of them a suspicious look.

"It's ah kinda personal thing" Catherine tried to excuse when it didn't do anything to change the look and Grissom's face, "It's about Warrick's love life" she stated. Grissom just nodded and headed back to what he was doing.

Warrick gave Catherine a look, "What! He was getting suspicious!" she reasoned in a lowered voice so only Warrick could hear her.

Every minute every second of the day

I dream of you n the most special way

You're beside me all the time

Catherine, Warrick and Grissom are now in their second shift. They haven't got any rest since they started on the case and none of them wanted to go home without finding another lead, they are so close but just couldn't get their hands on it.

The three headed to the break room to grab coffee. As they all got their coffees, Grissom grabbed the crossword puzzle he saw and started answering it, Catherine stood beside the coffee maker watching Grissom, while Warrick shook his head and smirked as he watched Catherine and Grissom. After finishing the crossword puzzle Grissom sat at the near by couch, rubbed his eyes, leaned his head to the wall and closed his eyes. Catherine sat at the other end of the room beside the table, placing down her coffee she glanced at Grissom who is now trying to rest; she placed her elbow on the table and rested her chin on her the palm of her hands as her mind started drifting away.

In her mind she's in Hawaii drinking cocktails with Grissom; after a few more seconds she's sitting in a beach towel which is placed on the white sand as she watched Lindsey and Grissom making sand castles, after a few more moments later they are in a park having a family picnic, she's preparing their meal as Grissom played with Linds and 'Gil Jr.'

I have loved you

And I'll always will

Call it crazy

but I know Someday you'll feel

This feeling I have for you inside

Warrick tapped her at the shoulder, which caused for her to break from her reverie or rather waked her up from daydreaming.

"Come on let's get back to work so you could head home earlier and daydream" Warrick teased.

"Uh!" Catherine blushed, she turned to see Grissom and saw that he is still in the same position earlier. Catherine silently thanked God that he didn't catch her.

Catherine grabbed more coffee as Grissom stood up and they all headed back to what they were doing. Though Catherine was feeling so tired, she couldn't stop herself from smiling, after all she is working with Gil. After one more hour they all called it a day and headed home. They were all an hour late the next shift, they all needed that extra hour of sleep. Nick and Sara, were done with their cases so they are now both in stand by in case anything comes in. The three headed back to processing what they found and at last they cracked the case after a whole night of working without a break.

"Is it okay if I take a leave for tomorrow?" Warrick asked

"Fine" Grissom agreed.

Warrick went the other way, headed to the locker room and left Catherine and Grissom alone.

"Wanna have - " Grissom took a moment to glance up on his watch, "Lunch?"

"That'll be great I'm famished!" Catherine replied with a grin.

I'm a hopeless romantic

I know I am

Memorized all the lines

But here I am

Struggling for words

I still don't know What to say.

Catherine and Grissom are now sitting on a restaurant and have finished ordering. They talked about the case and how exhausting it was. They also talked about Lindsey and Catherine started teasing Grissom to the cashier lady who is checking him out. Their meal arrived and they started to eat. Catherine got some food from Grissom's plate.

"Your food is delicious" Catherine complimented

"I like your meal better" said Grissom, they exchanged their plates and enjoyed each other's meal.

There was silence that filled the air. They both wanted to say something but both are not sure how to start.

'This is the right time; maybe I should tell it to him now. But what if he rejects me? Things will never be the same again if I tell him. So maybe I'll just tell him tomorrow. No! I have to tell him now.'

"Uh Cath"

"Uh Gris"

They both called for each other's attention at the same time.

"Go ahead" said Grissom

"No, you go first."

"No Cath"

"Grissom, you go first. I insist" said Catherine

"Wendy's here"

"Wendy? As in your childhood playmate, high school best friend became your fiancé in college, Wendy?"

"The one and only"

"So..."

"Well she's been here for a month now, and we've been going out for three weeks"

'So that's solves the mystery on why he doesn't seem to care or didn't even bother dropping by my house when I was avoiding him, not that I expected or liked for him to. But I wanted him to, I think.' Catherine thought then asked, "And? Do you love her?"

'How can I love her if I'm in love with you?' Grissom thought

"Well, I care for her and I enjoy being around her. We've remained friends after all this years." He answered as a matter-of-factly

"Gil, I asked if you love her"

"It's too soon to tell"

"You mean there's a possibility?" asked Catherine her voice in shocked, disappointment and jealousy; she has said the words before she could even think about it.

"Is there anything wrong about that?" he asked hoping that she'd say yes.

"Of course not. Honestly I really think it's great and I hope that you come to the point that you fall in love with her again, I know that you'd be really happy with her" she said in a haste hoping to cover up her tone on the earlier comment she made.

To Grissom's dismay, she said the exact opposite of what he wanted to hear. Grissom gulped, "Well, maybe. Maybe this could actually lead to something."

Catherine nodded with a smile, which is a complete lie then said, "Good for you"

"Uh. Yea" was all Grissom said.

For the past months he thought that his relationship with Catherine is starting to blossom to something much more deeper. Especially when they went to Lindsey's school, he felt that he belonged there that he belonged to them and that they belong to him. And obviously he was wrong, he realize this now then thought, 'I should stop with this. Wendy wants me; I know she told me ... she shows me. Catherine hopes for me to be with Wendy I'm sure about that... she just said it. So I guess there's no reason for me to pull myself to Catherine. She wants me as a friend, she hopes for me to be with Wendy, then fine.... I'll stop dreaming now, I have to face what's real.'

Don't know what to do

Whenever you are near

Don't know what to say

My heart is floating in tears

When you pass by I could fly

= TBC =