By the time Monday rolled around, half a foot of snow had fallen on Elwood
City. The kids at Lakewood Elementary could think of little else but the fun
they would have after school let out.
Shortly before the first period, a number of children including Arthur, Beat, Alan, Prunella, George, and Sue Ellen (who had already accumulated a few signatures on her cast) were gathered in the center court, talking about recent events.
"Now that your parents are back, what happens to Carla?" Arthur asked Sue Ellen.
"She's staying in Elwood City," Sue Ellen replied. "She's got a computer job."
As they conversed, Francine entered the school and walked toward them. Within moments they all fell silent with shock at the sight of Francine's attire.
Underneath her red coat she wore a long, light blue dress with a floral pattern. She wore black, high-heeled shoes, and most surprisingly of all, her fingernails were painted bright red.
She stood before them and smiled vacuously. "What the..." Alan blurted out. "Are you feeling all right, Francine?"
Beat could only shake her head sadly.
Francine slowly pulled off her coat. "Well?" she said to the others. "What do you think of the new me?"
"What's wrong with the old you?" Sue Ellen asked.
"Nothing," Francine replied, turning from side to side to show off her dress. "I just woke up one morning and realized, since I'm a girl, I should start dressing like one."
"We know you're a girl," said Arthur. "You don't have to prove it to us."
"Hmm...it's not school picture day," Prunella observed. "So there must be a boy in Francine's life."
"And it's not me," said George sadly.
"No, there isn't a boy in my life," said Francine in a sultry voice. "Not yet, anyway." Giggling insincerely, she walked away from the group, making a clopping sound with her heels.
The others watched her go in disbelief. "She's lost her mind," Beat muttered.
"Weird," Arthur remarked. "She's never showed any interest in boys before."
"She giggled," Alan noted. "I don't think I've ever heard her giggle."
"I don't know how to explain this," said George, shrugging his shoulders. "Even with aliens."
"Maybe they blasted her with a puberty gun," Sue Ellen suggested.
Meanwhile, Francine's new look attracted the gaze of Binky and Rattles as she walked past the two boys.
"Dude," said Rattles in a trance-like voice, "Francine looks hot."
"Heh heh heh," said Binky.
----
Mr. Baker seemed more anxious and perturbed than usual to Alan, Prunella, and the other fifth-graders in his class. He rushed through the roll call, giving the students hardly enough time to acknowledge their presence.
"Marina Messersmith is, sadly, not with us today," he announced. "She's in a special education class, relearning Braille with two blind six-year-old boys. There's still no medical explanation for her condition."
He paused to allow the impact of the news to sink in. "Before we start today's history lesson," he continued, "I'd like to ask you a question. What if you could wish for anything you want, and have it come true?"
Alan raised his hand. "That's scientifically impossible, Mr. Baker."
The teacher raised a pudgy finger for dramatic effect. "Perhaps impossible to known science, Alan. However, I propose to you that there are those who walk incognito among us, who have powers that transcend known science."
Prunella raised her hand. "So why don't they go to the Randi Institute and make a million dollars?"
Mr. Baker's voice rose to a fevered pitch. "Because if they were to make themselves known, the entire world would covet their power. Only a few, like myself, are wise enough to detect their presence."
"What are you talking about?" asked Floyd Walton.
The hippo man's eyes bulged. "I'm talking about...UNICORNS!"
All the students gasped in wonder and terror, except for Alan.
"But, Mr. Baker," he pointed out, "unicorns are mythical animals."
"Au contraire, my young lad!" the teacher retorted. "They are real. And I have reason to believe that a girl who attends this very school has a friend who is secretly...A UNICORN!"
"Like, what's so special about unicorns?" asked Lucy.
"I'm glad you asked," Mr. Baker replied. "Their horns have magical wishing powers. Capture one of them, and you can have anything in the world you want!"
"Excuse me," said Toru, "but if you hunt unicorns for their horns, then they will become endangered, like the rhinoceros."
"Exactly. Which is why they have kept themselves hidden from the world. But once I prove their existence to the scientific community, then their magical wishing powers will be analyzed, synthesized, and duplicated. Then everybody will have the same magical powers as...THE UNICORNS!"
"I think you're crazy," said Alan bluntly.
Mr. Baker pointed an accusing finger at him. "Detention for a week!"
----
When morning recess came around, Francine preferred to remain inside the school, as the snow lying on the playground might make her stockings wet. As she talked to George, reassuring him that her snubbing had been merely a misunderstanding, Beat approached her, wearing a stern expression.
"I'd like a word with you," she said firmly.
Francine looked a bit anxious. "Uh, okay, Beat. See you later, George."
Unbeknownst to Francine and Beat, two pairs of curious eyes were monitoring them as they headed into the girls' washroom.
"Now she's going in with Beat," Binky noted. "I guess Jenna wasn't spreading the news fast enough."
"This should be good," said Rattles as he pushed the red button on his tape recorder.
Once she had entered the girls' room with Francine, Beat looked into the stalls to make sure that nobody was present with them.
Then she turned to Francine, her face confused and pained. "What's the meaning of this, Frankie?"
"The meaning of what?" said Francine obliviously.
"This!" Beat waved a hand at her. "The dress, the nails, the affectations. It's not you at all."
Francine's face fell. "I know."
"This is boring," said Binky. "They're talking about fashion."
"Yeah, you're right." Rattles moved his hand toward the tape recorder, preparing to shut it off.
"I want to be normal, Beat," said Francine, her voice quivering. "I don't want to be attracted to girls."
Binky's jaw dropped halfway to China. "Whoa, whoa! Don't turn it off!" Rattles quickly pulled back his hand.
"I've always been a tomboy," Francine went on. "I've never really tried to act like a girl. I've never tried to get a boy to like me."
"You won't get a boy to like you by dressing like a silly goose," Beat admonished her.
Francine looked down at her dress glumly. "Maybe you're right."
"Your feelings for me frighten you, don't they?" Beat asked her.
"Yes," Francine admitted.
"Then give them up."
"It's not that easy." Francine's eyes became misty. "I think about you all the time. I thought if I could get a boy to like me, and bring me flowers and candy and all that, then I would forget about you, but it's not working."
Beat looked at her thoughtfully. "You're not happy," she observed. "You're not comfortable."
"You bet I'm not," Francine replied. "These shoes are killing me."
"If trying to attract boys makes you unhappy, then stop," Beat urged her. "Just be natural. Be yourself. Sooner or later you'll forget about me. Chances are you'll grow up and start liking boys, just like Catherine."
"You think so?" asked Francine hopefully.
"Well, one can never tell for sure."
Moments later Binky and Rattles, sporting wicked grins, watched as the two girls exited the washroom.
"Oh, man," gloated Rattles, "people will pay good money to listen to this tape."
"Money?" Binky chuckled. "I'm feeling generous. I'm gonna tell everybody for free."
(To be continued...)
Shortly before the first period, a number of children including Arthur, Beat, Alan, Prunella, George, and Sue Ellen (who had already accumulated a few signatures on her cast) were gathered in the center court, talking about recent events.
"Now that your parents are back, what happens to Carla?" Arthur asked Sue Ellen.
"She's staying in Elwood City," Sue Ellen replied. "She's got a computer job."
As they conversed, Francine entered the school and walked toward them. Within moments they all fell silent with shock at the sight of Francine's attire.
Underneath her red coat she wore a long, light blue dress with a floral pattern. She wore black, high-heeled shoes, and most surprisingly of all, her fingernails were painted bright red.
She stood before them and smiled vacuously. "What the..." Alan blurted out. "Are you feeling all right, Francine?"
Beat could only shake her head sadly.
Francine slowly pulled off her coat. "Well?" she said to the others. "What do you think of the new me?"
"What's wrong with the old you?" Sue Ellen asked.
"Nothing," Francine replied, turning from side to side to show off her dress. "I just woke up one morning and realized, since I'm a girl, I should start dressing like one."
"We know you're a girl," said Arthur. "You don't have to prove it to us."
"Hmm...it's not school picture day," Prunella observed. "So there must be a boy in Francine's life."
"And it's not me," said George sadly.
"No, there isn't a boy in my life," said Francine in a sultry voice. "Not yet, anyway." Giggling insincerely, she walked away from the group, making a clopping sound with her heels.
The others watched her go in disbelief. "She's lost her mind," Beat muttered.
"Weird," Arthur remarked. "She's never showed any interest in boys before."
"She giggled," Alan noted. "I don't think I've ever heard her giggle."
"I don't know how to explain this," said George, shrugging his shoulders. "Even with aliens."
"Maybe they blasted her with a puberty gun," Sue Ellen suggested.
Meanwhile, Francine's new look attracted the gaze of Binky and Rattles as she walked past the two boys.
"Dude," said Rattles in a trance-like voice, "Francine looks hot."
"Heh heh heh," said Binky.
----
Mr. Baker seemed more anxious and perturbed than usual to Alan, Prunella, and the other fifth-graders in his class. He rushed through the roll call, giving the students hardly enough time to acknowledge their presence.
"Marina Messersmith is, sadly, not with us today," he announced. "She's in a special education class, relearning Braille with two blind six-year-old boys. There's still no medical explanation for her condition."
He paused to allow the impact of the news to sink in. "Before we start today's history lesson," he continued, "I'd like to ask you a question. What if you could wish for anything you want, and have it come true?"
Alan raised his hand. "That's scientifically impossible, Mr. Baker."
The teacher raised a pudgy finger for dramatic effect. "Perhaps impossible to known science, Alan. However, I propose to you that there are those who walk incognito among us, who have powers that transcend known science."
Prunella raised her hand. "So why don't they go to the Randi Institute and make a million dollars?"
Mr. Baker's voice rose to a fevered pitch. "Because if they were to make themselves known, the entire world would covet their power. Only a few, like myself, are wise enough to detect their presence."
"What are you talking about?" asked Floyd Walton.
The hippo man's eyes bulged. "I'm talking about...UNICORNS!"
All the students gasped in wonder and terror, except for Alan.
"But, Mr. Baker," he pointed out, "unicorns are mythical animals."
"Au contraire, my young lad!" the teacher retorted. "They are real. And I have reason to believe that a girl who attends this very school has a friend who is secretly...A UNICORN!"
"Like, what's so special about unicorns?" asked Lucy.
"I'm glad you asked," Mr. Baker replied. "Their horns have magical wishing powers. Capture one of them, and you can have anything in the world you want!"
"Excuse me," said Toru, "but if you hunt unicorns for their horns, then they will become endangered, like the rhinoceros."
"Exactly. Which is why they have kept themselves hidden from the world. But once I prove their existence to the scientific community, then their magical wishing powers will be analyzed, synthesized, and duplicated. Then everybody will have the same magical powers as...THE UNICORNS!"
"I think you're crazy," said Alan bluntly.
Mr. Baker pointed an accusing finger at him. "Detention for a week!"
----
When morning recess came around, Francine preferred to remain inside the school, as the snow lying on the playground might make her stockings wet. As she talked to George, reassuring him that her snubbing had been merely a misunderstanding, Beat approached her, wearing a stern expression.
"I'd like a word with you," she said firmly.
Francine looked a bit anxious. "Uh, okay, Beat. See you later, George."
Unbeknownst to Francine and Beat, two pairs of curious eyes were monitoring them as they headed into the girls' washroom.
"Now she's going in with Beat," Binky noted. "I guess Jenna wasn't spreading the news fast enough."
"This should be good," said Rattles as he pushed the red button on his tape recorder.
Once she had entered the girls' room with Francine, Beat looked into the stalls to make sure that nobody was present with them.
Then she turned to Francine, her face confused and pained. "What's the meaning of this, Frankie?"
"The meaning of what?" said Francine obliviously.
"This!" Beat waved a hand at her. "The dress, the nails, the affectations. It's not you at all."
Francine's face fell. "I know."
"This is boring," said Binky. "They're talking about fashion."
"Yeah, you're right." Rattles moved his hand toward the tape recorder, preparing to shut it off.
"I want to be normal, Beat," said Francine, her voice quivering. "I don't want to be attracted to girls."
Binky's jaw dropped halfway to China. "Whoa, whoa! Don't turn it off!" Rattles quickly pulled back his hand.
"I've always been a tomboy," Francine went on. "I've never really tried to act like a girl. I've never tried to get a boy to like me."
"You won't get a boy to like you by dressing like a silly goose," Beat admonished her.
Francine looked down at her dress glumly. "Maybe you're right."
"Your feelings for me frighten you, don't they?" Beat asked her.
"Yes," Francine admitted.
"Then give them up."
"It's not that easy." Francine's eyes became misty. "I think about you all the time. I thought if I could get a boy to like me, and bring me flowers and candy and all that, then I would forget about you, but it's not working."
Beat looked at her thoughtfully. "You're not happy," she observed. "You're not comfortable."
"You bet I'm not," Francine replied. "These shoes are killing me."
"If trying to attract boys makes you unhappy, then stop," Beat urged her. "Just be natural. Be yourself. Sooner or later you'll forget about me. Chances are you'll grow up and start liking boys, just like Catherine."
"You think so?" asked Francine hopefully.
"Well, one can never tell for sure."
Moments later Binky and Rattles, sporting wicked grins, watched as the two girls exited the washroom.
"Oh, man," gloated Rattles, "people will pay good money to listen to this tape."
"Money?" Binky chuckled. "I'm feeling generous. I'm gonna tell everybody for free."
(To be continued...)
