Disclaimer: CSI and the song are both not mine
Spoilers: none
A/N: thanks for the reviews, and so sorry if it took me forever to update, the song I used here is titled 'Forevermore' by a Filipino band known as Side A. I really do hope that you'll enjoy reading this the same way I enjoyed writing it. )
Chapter 20: Forevermore
I may have ran out of songs to sing
I may have ran out of words to say
I am currently seated on a wooden bench inside the Cathedral. I could hear some people go 'awww', while others shed a tear from their eyes. This is almost the same kind of reaction I noticed in my wedding. Only in my wedding what I can hear most of the time is either, "Finally, they got together" or "What the hell is that bastard doing with that beautiful woman?". Okay so maybe I didn't really hear anybody saying that second statement, but I bet a lot of them is thinking about it.
Or maybe they did say it only I was so enthralled on staring at my wife that I didn't notice it. Like what I'm feeling and doing now - six years of marriage you'd thought I'm already immune of her invigorating presence.
I watch as my wife stand up and nudged me telling me something about the camera. And as I glance at the altar I can see Nick with a big grin on his face and a very tearful Sara both looking on the six year old HANDSOME little boy carrying their wedding rings neatly placed on a white cushion – my son Gil Jr.
Though sometimes I think him and me having the same name is a bad idea, it's getting a little confusing around the house. Like when Catherine is really pissed, well before she calls me Grissom when she's pissed but now she too is a Grissom and so is Lindsey, Gil Jr. and our four year old daughter Candice, the prettiest flower girl and is currently being stopped from jumping to me while taking a photo of his brother by the most beautiful bridesmaid, Lindsey.
All that I want you to know is what I feel for you
(I love you) As endless as forever
Our love will stay together
You're all I need to be with forevermore
We have just arrived home from the wedding. Oh God, I'm exhausted! But at least I'm not the only one, coz as it seems my babies are all tired too ... which would mean I'll have my 'big baby' all to myself!
Seriously, at this age I didn't thought I'll still be this flirty towards my husband! Lindsey has finally got over the phase when she used to curse when his father - Gil and I kiss in front of her without a warning, now she either rolls her eyes or close it shut and go away ... along with her brother who has replaced her on whining how gross it is and of course our baby daughter who doesn't really mind and just giggles every time she caught mom and dad kissing.
"Ow!"
"sshhh! You're going to wake up the kids!"
My husband rolls his eyes and turns his attention back to the book he's reading and I return to playing with the hair on his chest.
"Ow!!"
I can't stop myself from giggling with my husband's reaction
"Could you please stop pulling the hair out of my chest?!"
"Fine!!"
"Where are you going?" he asks as I stood up from our bed
"Bathroom. I'm having a shower."
"Are the kids sleeping?"
"Yeah..." I raise my eyebrow as suspicion rises over me
"Even Linds?"
"Like a log."
I watch as my husband put down his book and wear that mischievous boyish grin.
"Uh. Where are YOU going?"
"I'm going to take a shower too."
There are times when I just want to look at your face
With the stars in the night
It's a beautiful night. A beautiful life.
The kids are all asleep inside the house while my wife and I are here out in the backyard. We both decided to take a leave off tonight. Nick and Sara are already back from their honeymoon so Cath and I are both very confident that the lab won't be short handed for tonight.
If only every time I tell my wife how much I love her earns me a dime I'll be the richest man alive. But no matter how much I tell her, it's still not enough. I don't know how to show her or tell her just how much I love her ... but as it seems .... It looks like she knows. Neither words nor action could ever be used to quantify my love for her.
There are times, times like this, when just the sight of her face makes me happy. If only everybody could feel even half the joy I feel.
I am not perfect. My life is not perfect. My family isn't perfect. My relationship with my wife is not perfect. Coz nothing is. My wife and I have encountered a lot of obstacles, and up to now we still have problems and argue about certain things, but I'm thankful for all of it.
Thankful for the times I barely get enough sleep thanks to the kids. Thankful for the times when I almost get a heart attack caused by worrying over Lindsey – that was back on her teenage years. Thankful for the times I thought I was going nuts handling three kids when Cath's not around – and more thankfully that I finally got the hand of being dad even when my wife is not around to back me up.
Thankful for all the lumps I received from her when she used to throw things at me when she was still pregnant – probably why the baby looks a lot like me. Thankful for all the yells I get when she's really pissed. Thankful for all the headaches I get when she won't stop bugging me over things. Thankful for all the glares she throws at me when she's mad.
But most of all, I'm thankful, thankful that every time I glance at my side ... she's there.
There are times when I just want to feel your embrace
In the cold of the night
His arms are wrapped around me, he's pondering ... and so am I. I wonder what he's thinking about. Basing from the smile in his face, I'd say he's thinking about us. Us, me, him, Lindsey, Jr. and Candice.
I remember six years ago, I had a dream, a dream very similar to this, only before it was really only a dream, now ... now it's what's real.
His arms are protectively around my waist, he whispers things in my ears every once in a while, he looks at me .... And when he looks at me I can see the same things I see in my own eyes. There's contentment, love, peace and happiness.
But that doesn't mean our life is perfect. Our life is nothing like that of a fairy tale which ends with a happily ever after. It is not like those romance novels with which has endings that states how perfect everything came to be.
We've had trials before, we have problems now and I know we will have more of that tomorrow, but that doesn't interfere with the real happiness I feel deep inside.
Like all typical couples, we too have our arguments, sometimes petty fights – okay so maybe not only some. We've also have encountered some 'issues' as what we'd like to call it. So life isn't perfect. But it is happy.
I just can't believe that you are mine know
You were just a dream that I once knew
Never thought I would be right for you
She's mine. She's all mine. I can never get tired of that thought.
I remember way back before, when I use to dream of her, when I use to tell her I love her in my dream and I hear her say it back – in my dream, then I'll wake up the next day knowing that all of it is nothing but an illusion.
Before I thought I was undeserving, that she's too good for me, sometimes I still think of that but most of the time I stick to the known truth ... that we really are meant to be.
As I take my arm out from its protective position around her waist, I use my hand to hold her face and make her face me.
As I caress the soft feel of her face, I held her a little more closer so I that I could kiss her.
And as I stare at her for a moment after that kiss, I can see the glitter in her blue eyes.
I just can't compare you with anything in this world
You are all I need to be with forevermore
I lean a little closer for another kiss.
I lift myself up, and sit on his lap with my arms tangled around his body and my head resting on his shoulder while his arms are protectively around my waist.
I don't think I could think of any where else to right now than here in his arms.
He's my friend, my enemy (at certain times), but most of all he is husband, my love.
He gives me strength.
The sight of him helps me to relax.
His presence gives me security.
The sound of his name makes me smile.
Everything about him makes me so happy. I may sound so mushy, and a lovesick girl but that's the truth, and I am merely putting into words ... or rather thoughts ... what I feel.
I can ask for nothing more. I have a family with Gil and I think that's more than enough, no wait let me rephrase that ... I know that that is more than enough.
All those years I long to hold you in my arms
I've been dreaming of you
Every night I've been watching all the stars that fall down
Wishing you would be mine
As I have said before ... I believe in dreams, I believe my dreams will all come true.
As it turns out, I'm right.
All dreams really do come true.
I use to ask myself, what could have I done to deserve this happiness? Then I came across to the thought that happiness didn't come for me.
Happiness will never go after you, for it is you who have to make the choice if you want to be happy or not. I have felt so much pain, confusion, heart break, feelings that has brought me to the lowest emotional point of my life, but thinking back at it now, If I am to relive my life again, I'll never take out those parts. For it is with those feelings that has brought me to what I have and feel now.
Six year ago, I almost lost the chance of being with her. I almost married Wendy and I doubt that I would be able to feel even one-fourth of what I feel now if I did married Wendy.
No, Wendy isn't the problem. Me not feeling even one-fourth of what I feel right now is not because I'll be married to Wendy but because I'll not be married to Catherine.
I just can't believe that you are mine now
You were just a dream that I once knew
I never thought I would be right for you
I just can't compare you with anything in this world
You are all I need to be with forevermore
Before being with Gil was just a dream.
Something I fantasize about, something I day dream about and think about before I sleep.
Now it's more than just a dream, it's the reality.
At this point in my life, I could definitely say that reality is much better than dreaming.
Time and again there are this changes that we cannot end
As sure are the stars keep going on and on...
My love for you will be forevermore...
Of course things would never be constant. The only constant thing in this world is change.
Things will not always be smooth sailing, but no matter what happens my family will stay together. No will ever be left behind, nothing could ever keep us apart.
As I have said nothing is constant. Our family ties will not be constant, for it will be stronger and tighter.
Same goes with the love Cath and I have. It won't be constant, there will always be change.
I've been feeling it's change everyday, because everyday of my life it keeps on growing.
I just can't believe that you are mine now
You were just a dream that I once knew
Never thought I would be right for you
I just can't compare you with anything in this world
Love is not a promise, it's a feeling.
That is why I have never told Gil that I promise to love him forever. But as far as forever goes, no promise is needed for me to be this confident. I need not to promise Gil of my love for him, I'm confident to what I feel this feeling that's so strong that it will last not only forever but forevermore.
As endless as forever...our love will stay together
You're all I need to be with forevermore
"It's getting too cold out here come on let go inside."
"Cath"
"Hmm?"
"I love you."
"Forever?"
"Forever is not enough my darling. Forever is not enough."
As endless as forever
Our love will stay together
You are all I need to be with forevermore.
END
A/N2: So.... what do you think?? please review!!
