Fear
Chapter Eight
Disclaimer: I don't own Animorphs. Period. So don't sue.
The name for The Gathering never changed. Apparently no one liked it, but no one had a better idea for it. After a few days, people stopped caring about the name. After a few weeks, they simply didn't have time for it. After all, being infested by a Yeerk takes a lot out of someone's social life.
Jared was the first to be taken. He became something of a poster-boy. A success story. He spent most of his time organizing more events and talking to new members. Arnie and I worked closely with him and together we pretty much ran the thing. Well, Arnie and Hurrin ran things. Jared and I didn't really didn't do much at all.
About a week before school started, we were summoned to The Sharing headquarters. Spunky wanted to talk to us again.
What does he want this time? I asked as we stepped off the bus.
No idea.
That was all we said until we were inside. I was a bit saddened by the fact that we hardly ever joked with each other anymore. Sometimes it was easy enough to just talk to him and forget the rest of the world. Pretend I was simply talking to a friend. But more and more often it simply took too much effort. So we didn't say anything.
In the main offices, Hurrin and Spunky waited for us. Hurrin nodded to us as we entered, but Spunky waved enthusiastically, all for show, and had us follow him into a more private room.
"What's going on?" Hurrin asked.
I liked Hurrin. He took every job put before him seriously and always worked hard. He treated Jared like a loved, if slightly annoying, pet. But that was better than some.
"It's about the beach party next Friday."
Hurrin and Arnie glanced at each other, clearly worried.
"As you know," he shot a rather disgruntled look at Arnie, "the Andalite group is still out there and every event held outside the main building has to have extra protection."
"We know this, and we've already taken the necessary precautions." Hurrin looked slightly offended at the implied insult to his work.
"Of course, of course," Spunky said, waving his hand dismissively. "But we feel that more the usual precautions need to be taken."
"What have you done?" Arnie asked, sounding angry. No, he was angry. I could feel the beginnings of fear and anger turning my stomach. The feeling, for once, coincided with my own emotions. "I thought we agreed this event was to go with no ulterior motives. It's simply a promotional ploy."
Spunky shrugged. Arnie wanted to hit him. I could feel it. That anger-fed rush of adrenaline, making my heart beat faster and the muscles of my arm seize up.
Don't! We've got enough trouble without an assault charge!
Arnie calmed down, but not much.
Spunky never noticed a thing. "Plans change," he told us, as if we were all too insignificant to bother explaining things to.
"Like hell they do. Why weren't we informed earlier? And what is this new 'plan?'"
Hurrin put a hand on our shoulder and gave us a look that clearly said 'shut up.'
"What precautions have been taken, and what do we need to do?" he asked Spunky.
Arnie calmed down visibly at this level headed question. Time enough to be angry later.
"Well, if Arnashik is done throwing his fit, I'll tell you."
Arnie allowed himself to glare at Spunky for a few moments, then resigned himself to listen.
"We've added more of our people to the list of those attending. They might look a bit out of place, but I trust you'll be able to smooth it over. Also, I'd like to go over the layout of the area with you. The dunes there are easy to hide in. We've got a few plans for them if those Andalite bastards try anything."
Arnie seethed silently to himself as Sparky showed them a rough drawn map, pointing out where they were to go in case of an attack. I was astounded by the stupidity of the whole thing.
Later, with far too many questions unanswered, we left with Hurrin.
"What are they trying to do?" Hurrin asked. "Those plans won't do any good. The dunes are good cover, but only from the ground. And we know these bandits can fly. It'll never work."
You Yeerks aren't stupid, I told Arnie, taking an interest for once. They're just not telling you half the plan.
Well that's obvious, Arnie shot back with a disgusted snort.
"What?"
"Oh, just something my host said."
"You listen to your host?"
"Only when she says something interesting."
Hurrin shook is head, grinning grimly, and sank heavily into one of the lobby couches. Anrie joined him and sighed.
Why the sudden interest, he asked, sounding much more polite than before.
I hesitated, thinking. My thoughts didn't do much to comfort me. Something just wasn't right, and the others felt it too. I was... scared. I didn't even expect to feel the normal sensations of fear, but I knew, somehow, that something was seriously wrong. I knew just as surly that I had to do something about it. Apparently self-preservation is stronger than physical limitations.
We both get killed if something happens.
Sure seems like they think something's happening.
Sounds more like they want something to happen. Extra people. New game plan. It's all too obvious. They're trying to draw attention.
Arnie thought about it for a while and turned to Hurrin.
"What if this is a set up?" he asked.
"What?"
"Well, it seems a bit too obvious. What if they're trying to get this attacked?"
"Why would they do that? And besides, just changing the security wouldn't draw an attack."
"No, but it would ensure it."
Hurrin looked thoughtfully at his hands. "Why wouldn't they tell us? Why spring this on us less than a week before the event?"
"Maybe because they don't want it to leak."
Arnie and Hurrin turned around to see Ben, one of the new 'members.'
"What are you doing here?"
"Oh, I was just stopping in for a visit and couldn't help but overhear you're conversation."
I thought you were supposed to be more careful than that!!!!
Oops. Arnie sounded only slightly sorry for the slip.
"I see you've become a full member," Hurrin said, noticing Arnie's lapse in conversation.
"Of course. I'm Operis 3621, at your service." He looked a bit smug as he turned to Arnie. "Your host may remember me."
We looked at Operis with nearly the same thing in our thoughts. It was something close to disgust. I hated her, him now, for what he'd done to Samantha. Arnie just plain hated him.
"She does. Hell, I remember you."
Operis looked confused. "Nasha?"
"No. Arnashik 6324, at your service." Arnie's voice was surprisingly free of the contempt I knew he felt.
Operis' smug smile deepened. "Ah yes. You got demoted didn't you?"
"Why are you here, again?"
"I've been told to help Hurrin 9647 with this Gathering thing." He turned to Hurrin. "You are the student leader of this division, right?"
Hurrin's smile was slightly malicious. He didn't like Operis either. "I'm only half of the team. Arnashik here is also a co-leader."
"So it looks like you'll still be working under me." Arnie smiled a humorless smile and left quickly, before Operis could recover.
That wasn't smart. You've just made him angrier.
Arnie shrugged mentally. Like I care. Serves him right for being a malicious prick.
Yeah, if you say so.
------------
Arnie was still mad when we got home about an hour later. He didn't talk to me, but my heart was pounding. I was breathing too fast and my chest felt lighter than normal. Like I'd been running, but not quite.
The house was deserted when we got there.
Where is everyone? he asked harshly.
I don't know, I told him, sounding more defensive than I intended to. Probably out to dinner. It's about that time.
Arnie flopped down on the couch and sighed heavily. I felt all the anger drain away, leaving me tired and lethargic.
Why'd you get so angry like that?
Why wouldn't I?
Well, you're usually so calm. I guess it was just a bit unexpected.
Arnie shrugged. It wasn't a mental thing, he really shrugged. Well, putting myself and several others in danger for reasons I can't even begin to guess puts me a bit over the line. I just... He sighed again and rested my head against the back of the couch, closing my eyes. This whole thing doesn't feel right. And I hate putting people in danger.
I decided not to comment on that. Apparently he didn't see the humans' situation as 'dangerous.' And something else bugged me.
Arnie
Hn?
Why... you... I struggled to find the right words, but I didn't quite know what I was asking, much less how to say it. You're doing something different than before. I felt like an idiot for not being about to talk.
What?
Well... I noticed, after you came back, sometimes I feel it when you get mad. Like, my body reacts to it. But that didn't use to happen.
Arnie was quiet for a while, but it was a thoughtful silence.
The call it 'drunk on being human,' he told me, sounding distant and professional again. No other species we know of has a range of emotions as varied or as strong as humans. Some get a bit too attached to the feeling. I'm sorry. I didn't even realize it was happening. I'll stop.
Oh. I was at once relieved and disappointed that he'd promised that. I didn't really want him invading me so completely, but feeling normal feelings had been rather intoxicating. I didn't really want to give up the feeling, and I could certainly see why Arnie didn't either. But I didn't tell him that. I kept my silence and let him think I was content with the promise.
Well, why didn't it happen before?
There are different levels to which one can Control a host, he told me, still in professional mode. I could control you so completely that you'd never feel a thing, even pain, or I can control just as much as is needed to perform physical activities. I try to find a workable medium, but-
Arnie?
Yes.
Shut up before I laugh at you.
What?
You sound like a professor.
Arnie laughed.
A really boring professor.
Oh, dear, anything but that.
------------
On Thursady, Anrie, Hurrin, and Operis went to the beach to check out the site. It was a popular spot for bonfire parties, with metal pits for fires scattered between the dunes and the water.
We did normal stuff for the event first, checking to make sure they knew where everything would go and that everything would fit. Afterward, everyone wandered into the dunes, following the crude map Spunky had drawn a few days before.
There's got to be something out here, I told Arnie as we struggled along through the loose sand. Something that would draw an attack.
I felt a twinge of fear, but Arnie stopped it. True to his word, he was trying to avoid my emotions. But I still knew he was afraid.
What if they attack? he asked.
We just have to be ready.
Why are you so calm? Do you know what it's like to be attacked? He sounded angry. But more than anger, I could tell that he was nervous and scared.
No, I don't, but that gives me the advantage here. I don't really feel like getting attacked, but if one comes, I'd like to get out alive. If you can't deal with this calmly, we'll be left in the dark come Friday. Now, they want the Andalites drawn over here; let's find out why.
Arnie paused for a long time, trying to collect himself. What would I do without you?
Probably be dead. Now let's go.
We were still searching the dunes an hour later when Operis found us.
"Hurrin and I are done. We're leaving now. Does it really take you that long to familiarize yourself with the area?"
"No." Arnie prodded a scruffy looking bush with one foot, not looking at Operis.
"Well, what are you doing?"
"Looking for something."
"What?"
Arnie sighed and striated, looking at him. Operis was scowling with his arms crossed across his chest.
"Why do you care?"
"If you're looking for something suspicious, don't bother. They're not telling anyone anything." He ginned, but it looked rather condescending. "Or didn't you hear? They think there's a leak to the Andalites."
Arnie shrugged. "Yeah, I might have heard a rumor or something about that. Seems a bit ridiculous to me."
"Scoffing at the idea of a leak, snooping around where you're not supposed to. Highly suspicious, Arnashik, don't you think?"
"Aren't you even slightly curious as to what they've got planned?"
Operis waved his hand dismissively. "It's not for me to question my superiors. I do my job and don't get in the way. If you've got any sense at all, you'll do the same."
My heart pounded adrenaline though my body. My whole body seemed to expand. I felt as if I was too big for my skin, filled with a furious energy that desperately wanted to jump out and punch Operis.
But Arnie didn't move.
"Well, then," he growled, filling my voice with furry, "why don't you stop questioning this superior and get out of my way."
We stood in a face off for a few moments, both Anrie and Operis glaring with open hate. Finally, Operis turned and marched quickly away.
Arnie kicked a bush and wandered around the dune, not really looking for anything anymore, just walking. On the other side, we nearly ran into a man wearing a loose jacket walking in the other direction.
Act human, I told him quickly, noticing something odd about the man.
"Oh! I'm sorry, sir. Didn't mean to run into you there."
"Not a problem," the man answered with forced friendliness. "What are you doing out here?"
"Just walking around. Why?"
"No reason. Just be more careful. Sun's going down, and a lot of weird folk come down here."
The man shrugged and walked on.
What was that all about? I recognized him from the office.
Did you also recognize the gun he had? I saw it when you almost ran him over.
If you saw it, then I should have seen it.
Then you did, you just didn't pick up on it. You've got to learn to be more observant.
Why bother when I've got you around?
Oh, shut up.
We hid on top of a nearby dune and watched the place where we'd met the man. He was obviously guarding something.
Sure enough, a few minutes later he returned. We ducked when he glanced around, and when we peaked over the top again he was gone. A few moments later he reappeared from the side of the dune.
Huh? Arnie, what is that?
Arnie didn't know, so he just shushed me instead. Down below, a few more people appeared out of the dune.
We caught a few words of their conversation in between the breaking of the waves.
"...don't like...too exposed...."
"Should be....only entrance...protect..."
"If you do your job....this pool....nothing to worry..."
The four people below glanced around once again and Arnie and I ducked out of sight, sliding down the dune's opposite side a bit. Arnie rested there, leaning back against the ground.
Please tell me you didn't just hear that, Arnie pleaded.
That's a new pool entrance, isn't it?
I'd bet anything you've got that's what it is.
Will they try to use it at the beach party?
No wonder they expect an attack.
------------
Preparations the next day went off without a hitch. The whole thing was bit more popular than we'd expected it to be, since it was advertised my word of mouth only.
People started showing up a little before sunset and continued to trickle in and out over the next couple of hours. There was food, drinks, and a bit of music. A few people brought out guitars and added their own music to the mix. But nothing else was really organized. People just did their own thing, and they seemed perfectly content to do so.
Arnie wandered around from group to group, carrying a small plate of cookies but not eating anything. Occasionally we'd see one of the awkward adults pull someone off to the side and talk to them. They'd disappear for a few minutes, then come back, and Arnie and I both knew what was happening.
If something's going to happen, I wish it would hurry up and happen, Arnie told me, leaning against a table.
Calm down and eat a cookie, I told him dismissively, trying to go over everything we'd seen that night, looking for anything too out of the ordinary.
Arnie had managed to stuff our mouth full of Oreos when it happened. Someone screamed in the distance, running into the group from the direction of the hidden pool entrance.
"Run! Run!" she scream, barreling strait into the middle of the group.
Close on her heals, a large grey wolf chased her, snapping at her heals, but always missing by a few inches.
For about a split second I was calm enough to appreciate the brilliance of these Andalites. The wolf was an obvious fake; I knew they were fast enough to outrun a human. But, with the national park only a few miles away, natural wolves were still spotted at the beach occasionally. It was innocent enough not to arouse suspicion, yet plenty of incentive to drive away the free humans.
And then, my split second was over and I didn't care a whit about brilliant plans. Arnie spat out the mouth full of cookie and ran along the beach, motioning and shouting to direct the innocents to safer ground. A few others followed his lead, and the 'wolf' added extra incentive, running in circles through the frightened group and snapping at anything that came too close.
Soon, only Controllers remained, trying to block off the wolf's escape. But he, or she, eluded them and ran off down the beach. Most of those still at the event site took off after him, but Arnie turned toward the dunes.
My heart was beating so fast I was sure it would burst. My whole body felt far too warm as blood and adrenaline rushed through me, filling every inch of me with a desperate energy. But different from the day before. My body twitched, anxious to run, or attack, or just do something. Anything. Panic flooded my brain, but I pushed it away, aware that even though both Arnie and I were frightened, we both had to remain calm.
He ran strait for the dunes and the hidden entrance. I expected no less of him.
The scene at the entrance was horrible. Whatever had been hiding it before was gone now and human Controllers streamed out of it to fight the zoo gathered there. A gorilla, a tiger, and a bear. All were causing more damage than I'd ever though possible, helped by a bird of some kind that would occasionally sweep down and rake his talons over someone's face. The injured were everywhere and the sight and sound and smell of them assaulted me, hovering in my mind, blocking out what I was seeing until the only thing I could process was blood and the screams of pain.
Stop it! Arnie screamed, shaking our head.
We looked around again and I tried to focus on what had to be done. My mind was pulled in two directions, one desperate to help the animals, my one hope for freedom, and the other bent on self-preservation. My body didn't mean much to me without my freedom to go with it, but I still wasn't prepared to die for anything. I couldn't die here! I didn't want to die! They were going to kill us! Life isn't worth living like this; I knew it, but I didn't care. I couldn't die here! Not now!
Get out! Let's get out of here! I screamed, trying to make my body move away from the scene.
Shut up! Arnie yelled again, right into my mind, stunning me into silence for a few moments. I tried to gather my thoughts and calm down. To focus on what had to be done.
What do we do? I asked, painfully aware of the fear in my voice. I wanted to hear his answer, to have something to hold onto and focus on.
Stay calm. We can't really do anything unarmed like this.
Someone from inside the entrance screamed. An Andalite had managed to sneak in and demorph, causing massive amounts of damage with his tail blade. Some of the remaining forces turned to help and the Andalites took advantage of the distraction and attacked, trying to get to their comrade inside.
Arnie didn't pause to think. He ran forward and grabbed a pistol from a fallen man who was nursing a missing hand. The blood from the weapon coated my own hands.
What are you doing?
I have to stop them. I can't let them into the pool; they'll kill everyone!
How do you know that?
Arnie didn't answer. Or rather, he did, but he didn't speak. Images slammed into my mind, leaving me reeling. Images of another world. Of trees growing in deep crevices and dead and dying Hork-bajar everywhere. He was showing me destruction of the Hork-bajar home world. Or was he remembering and the images had been passed to me by accident?
I didn't argue. These were Andalites. They hated the Yeerks as much as the Yeerks hated them. Who knows what they would do once loose in the pool?
I couldn't quite think strait as Arnie ran for the entrance and aimed for the bear. He had to stop before he could fire strait and a million images flooded my mind, showing my a million different ways I was going to die. My breath came in deep, ragged gasps as we both fought to control my panic-riddled body.
Before Arnie could fire, a huge fist swung into view, catching me in the stomach and flinging me into a nearby dune.
My mind went completely blank as we lay there, staring at the stars and trying to breath. Even once I got my breath back I couldn't move. My body ached furiously and my brain refused to start. Off in the distance I could hear the sounds of fighting still going on not far from me, but I couldn't quite grasp anything but a general, frightened, painful noise that held no meaning.
Arnie
Are you okay?
No. I felt like crying. Arnie's hold over me had lessened slightly after the blow, and I could feel an ache in my chest that had nothing to do with injuries. My whole torso felt empty, like it wanted to collapse in on itself and overwhelming desire to hide my face and cry took me.
After a moment Arnie took control again and I could feel his calmer, but grim, presence near my own mind. I calmed slightly and the pain lessened, though my gut still screamed from the punch anytime Arnie moved. He sat up anyway looking around.
The Andalites had done their job and were retreating, passing very near our resting place. The weapon was still clutched in Arnie's hand. He raised it without a second thought.
Don't-
I stopped myself. I didn't want him to kill them, but how could I stop him? They were the enemy. Not my enemy, but the visions of moaning, bloody bodies in my mind didn't care whose enemy these four were.
Arnie aimed, but he never fired. The Andalites got away.
------------
A few hours later we were still cleaning up from the aftermath of the attack. I was thoroughly ashamed of my reaction to my first battle. Arnie was supportive, but it didn't matter. All I could think of were those injured people laying everywhere, a few of them dead, and the smells of blood and the sounds of fear. I remembered my fear of death and every time I remembered my attempt to run away, one stranger's face was replaced by some one I loved. If they had been there, if their lives had been in danger, would I have fought to save them? Or did my own skin mean more to me than the lives and livelihood of others. Did my mere existence mean more than my own freedom?
You can't keep beating yourself up over this, Arnie told me, handing his trash bag over to worker collecting them in the bed of a pick-up. It was your first fight. You were scared. It's okay. Really.
I didn't answer him. I was a lost in my own thoughts, lost in the memory of the battle. I heard him, but his words sounded like they came from too far away. Too far to have any meaning for me.
Arnie walked along the beach, kicking the sand occasionally. We'd been told to go home, as if nothing more than a strange wolf attack had occurred, but I didn't feel like going back to a dark, quiet bedroom and I guess Arnie didn't either. We walked along in silence, until a dark figure stepped into our path, blocking our way.
It was Operis.
"I saw what you did back there," he whispered fiercely. "Letting your little friends get away like that."
He leaned in, close to our ear.
"Traitor."
