Title: Keeps you
Disclaimer: I probably think of them more than their creators. But no – I own a bitchin laptop and every episode of That 70's show on bootleg discs – but not Casey or Zeke.
Summary: Casey starts a new life post high school with Zeke – his thoughts along the way.
Credit: Song fic – Coming Back – Jump
A/N: I wrote this at some point and never posted. Thought I might before posting the next chapter to OSML.
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the view from up here is quaint
the rise and fall of the teenage saints
T-shirts, suits, and bow-tie smiles
All dressed up for the two foot miles
Two foot miles of sidewalk chalk
the arc of a midday sunlight stalk
a childhood memory almost lostof a lifetime coming on
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Casey had spent the majority of his school career dodging football players unsuccessfully. So Graduation day came and went with minimal regret or heart warming nostalgia. He wouldn't miss the institution, the lockers, or the flagpole.
Things had changed after the invasion –yes. The final half of high school had been different –true. But Casey never fully relaxed at Gabe's Friday night post game parties. He never completely believed the moans Delilah produced during public displays of affection. At the end of the day, he was still Casey Connor. He hadn't changed. He didn't believe they had either.
Casey's bags had been packed two weeks before Principle Logan (a friendly replacement selected especially because of his trustworthy nature) had handed out the caps and gowns. Zeke picked him up at 9 the following Saturday. The older boy carelessly tossed clothes and cds in the trunk as Casey's mother cried. His father didn't come out of the house to say goodbye.
Casey didn't pack his yearbook.
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the view from up here is wide
wide as the lens kept close to my side
the desperate words of an evening stroll
a clear shot of struggling soul
a struggling soul in black and white, a picket fence, and a pale moon light
driven on this neighborhood roadand a heavy load
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Delilah had called Zeke's cell phone 14 times before they even crossed the state line. Casey was sure she had gotten the number from Stokely. He wasn't proud of himself for not facing her. He had tried. But just the thought of the scene that would ensue was exhausting. Delilah thrived on drama and would create it even when real emotions weren't involved.
Zeke answered the 15th ring and Casey heard shrill profanity even though he had the window down and radio blaring. He flicked his cigarette casually, reaching over to knock an errant piece of ash towards freedom and tuned her out.
Zeke listened without comment for a few minutes before he sighed heavily and turned the phone off.
Casey welcomed the silence.
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the view from up here is quiet
be it dull but I can't deny it
silence is a risk I'll have to take
to bring it up
was obviously a mistake
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"Sorry", Casey muttered rolling up the window.
"Not your fault"
Casey laughed bitterly and turned so he could focus on Zeke. He was tired of internal musings on the past and present. He wanted to think about the future. "Everyone in my life gave you grief today."
"Not everyone – your father kept his mouth shut." Zeke honked the horn at the slower car in front of them and changed lanes to get around them.
On a normal day Casey would have told him to slow down. Today he needed the speed to distract him. Zeke seemed to get that. "Thanks."
Zeke took his eyes away from the road for the first time since they left Casey's front yard. His eyebrows lifted in confusion as they made eye contact. "What for?"
Casey scooted closer on the seat, reaching out to take Zeke's lighter off the dashboard, playing with the flame. "It is strange I know – but the farther we get the better I feel."
Zeke grabbed his smokes and took back the lighter. Shrugging as he lit a cigarette. "It's not strange. That town and those people didn't get you. I understand that."
Casey smiled. "That is what I'm thanking you for."
Smoke filled small space between them before Zeke got the window down. "People would be surprised how much we have in common."
"We do have issues." Casey agreed coughing.
Zeke rolled his eyes and smirked. "Everyone has issues."
Casey smiled and for the first time in months meant it.
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I'll impress you with my pain
so you'll love me again and again
how pathetic my plea
but it keeps you coming back to me
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300 miles later Zeke stopped for coffee and gas. Casey yawned and climbed out of the car to find a bathroom. He met back up with Zeke at the candy isle.
"I got you a Mt. Dew." Zeke offered handing him the bottle and taking a sip of the tallest coffee ever.
"Thanks." Glancing at the array of chocolate goodness he scratched the back of his head. "Snickers or Twix?"
"Butterfinger."
Pulling out his wallet he took Zeke's coffee and grabbed the candy. "You are a genius."
"That is why you keep me around." Zeke joked turning around to make his way to the bathroom.
Casey knew there was more to it than that.
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I'll impress you with my pain
so you'll love me again and again
how pathetic my plea
but it keeps you coming back to me
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Three days later they reached Colorado. They stopped at the first cheap hotel they found. Zeke bought a paper and leafed through the classifieds while Casey looked in the phonebook for an internet café. They needed jobs and an apartment before the fall.
Boulder was beautiful. The altitude took some getting used to but Casey and Zeke were looking forward to it. Zeke's parents used to vacation in Aspen and he couldn't wait to teach Casey how to ski. Casey wanted to fill rolls of film with snow capped mountains.
The University of Colorado at Boulder was about as far from Herrington High as possible. Zeke planned to major in Astrophysical and Planetary Sciences. Casey was undecided. All the freedom had gone to his head. He knew he loved photography but sometimes he wanted to break away even more.
He had emailed his mother once to tell them they arrived safely. Zeke had signed up with a new cell phone service to get a new number. He had gotten Casey one too. They used them to remind each other to pick up Coke or cigarettes at the store.
By September, Casey had stopped feeling guilty. For the first time in his life he was happy.
Zeke smiled in his sleep and laughed with his eyes open. He didn't ask or demand anything from Casey.
Casey gave whatever he could.
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how pathetic my plea
It keeps you coming back to me
It keeps you coming back
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They moved into a small apartment fifteen minutes from campus. On Sundays Zeke cooked bacon and eggs. Casey would make toast and they would sit on the couch and watch bad movies.
A week before school started Casey slept late and woke to the sound of Zeke muttering about grease burns in the kitchen. Padding in the kitchen he wiped the sleep out of his eyes and approached the lovely sight of Zeke's naked back leaning over the sink. "You know if you put a shirt on –cooking might be a safer endeavor."
Zeke gave a sarcastic laugh and turned around.
Casey took the wet cloth from Zeke and applied it to the patch of red skin just above the naked chef's bellybutton.
Zeke let his long arms drop to his sides and watched Casey take care of him. "You are probably right." They stayed that way until the bacon started burning.
Casey busied himself with getting glasses and pouring orange juice. Normally he would start an inane conversation but for some reason today he didn't feel like it.
"You nervous about starting school?" Zeke asked.
Casey marveled at how well Zeke could read him. "I just kinda like things the way they are."
Zeke looked like that wasn't what he was expecting. "What homework free?"
Casey threw the cold cloth in the sink and averted his eyes. He wandered into the living room.
Zeke followed. "What is wrong Case?"
Casey knew Zeke wouldn't be avoided. "I like it just being you and me."
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It keeps you
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Zeke sat down beside him close enough that their knees touched. He waited silently for Casey to continue.
Casey did because he knew Zeke would always win in a battle of wills where to speak or not to speak was the question. "What if college isn't different from high school. You will make friends and I'll make good grades and we will forget why we... why we..."
"Need each other?" Zeke mercifully said it for him.
Casey nodded.
"I don't need you Casey." Zeke said with a laugh, chuckling harder when Casey's eyes widened in hurt and anger. "I want you. I love you. But need makes it sound like we are victims of fate. We choose our own destinies."
Casey sighed and reached out to find Zeke's hand. "Semantics. You know what I mean."
"I know what you mean –you don't trust me. You don't trust your own happiness. You are too afraid someone is going to take it all away."
"They might." Casey offered weakly. "And I do trust you. I just...I..."
Zeke silenced the babbling with his lips.
Casey sighed into the kiss and filled his hands with Zeke arms, then Zeke neck and finally Zeke back. He pulled Zeke closer. He had always found the direct approach more comforting than empty words.
Zeke pulled away from the kiss and reached out to rid Casey of his shirt too. Pulling Casey until he was almost on top of him, he began another kiss that was even more convincing than the first.
The last thought Casey had before his mind completely fogged was this – "as long as I have Zeke I can handle anything." He decided then and there that maybe he shouldn't –or couldn't – worry about the future anymore than he could the past.
Zeke was a part of both and he wasn't going anywhere.
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I'll impress you with my pain
so you'll love me again and again
how pathetic my plea
but it keeps you coming back to me
