Evangelion NEXUS-Christmas Special
By Tristan Delecour
CHAPTER ONE:
"GENKI DES KA?" one light blue-haired and slender Rei Ayanami enthusiastically bubbled to the always beautiful redhead, Asuka Langley, who was tying one of her Globe sneakers on her black-socked foot.
"HAIIIII, GENKI DES!" Asuka replied, in a mocking tone.
It was December 20th, five days away from Christmas, and Asuka needed to get her last minute shopping done before Tristan came back from his DJ/Drift/Road Race/Graphic Design tour/exhibition in the United States.
"Oooooh, I don't know what to get him!" Asuka sulked, fastening her light green jacket on tightly. It was strange that it was so cold that day, but Rei didn't seem to mind it at all.
"C'mon, c'mon! I need to get back for Whopper Stoppers later tonight!" Rei urged, yanking at a black PRADA handbag that Asuka had slung over her shoulder. Whopper Stoppers was Rei's favorite television show that featured contestants answering various trivia questions for prizes, like a catamaran, a new off-road all terrain vehicle, or huge amounts of cold, hard, cash. If they got a question wrong, they would be used as a human bowling pin, shot out of a cannon, or some other, more sadistic, random stunt, e.g.: eating live meal worms intermingled with tabasco sauce, getting hit in the testicles by a salmon, et cetera.
"You always watch Whopper Stoppers! It's probably a rerun anyways!" Asuka griped, still attempting to fix the zipper on her coat. Frustrated, she yanked the zipper down and left the coat open, happily ignoring the possibility that she could've used the velcro on the fringe of the jacket.
"I would make a perfect contestant on Whopper Stoppers because I know all the answers to everything," Rei declared. "And it's not like you're not always watching it too!"
"I'm sure you do.. Now let's go," Asuka said, walking out the door, the keys to her Lancer EVO in her hands.
---
"So what should I get Asuka?" Misato asked Ritsuko while walking down the street in the downtown district. "A lump of coal?"
"Well, it's what she deserves for just about destroying HQ last week during the practice drill." Ritsuko sighed while looking at the shops.
"Yeah, well, how about a pretty sweater?" Misato said, while passing a shop window.
"Too cliché..." Ritsuko replied.
"Well what the hell are you getting her?"
"A kleenex dispersal unit."
"They make those?" Misato raised her eyebrow.
"No, I'm being a bit of a dullard today, I got her a gift card."
"In other words, cash for crap she won't wear, or the official 'I give up on what I know about her.'"
"Exactly. If I could, I would have gotten her something from Walmart."
"They tore those all down in 2013 during the white-trash revolution in the southern United States!"
"I know, that's why."
"... Ritsuko, you're really, really odd," Misato spotted something out of the corner of her eye. "I'll get her a new DAT reader. She'll like that."
---
"NO CHRISTMAS BONUSES THIS YEAR!" Gendo declared, stamping his fist against the top of his desk. It was the third time this week that Fuyutsuki had asked
"But sir," Fuyutsuki tried to reason with Gendo. "It's Christmas time. You don't want to seem like a miser, do you?"
"NO CHRISTMAS BONUSES! I said so!"
"Don't be surprised if you are visited by 3 christmas ghosts tonight!"
"Let's not say things that we can't take back now, Fuyutsuki," Gendo said while running one of his hands through
---
"Ask me a question, Asuka, ask me anything!" Rei said, tugging at Asuka's jacket. "I'll know it! I know everything! Everything in the world!"
"Fine, what year was King Tut's tomb discovered?"
"Nineteen hundred twenty two," Rei sang, swinging around a lamp post with a smile on her face.
"What was the stock compression ratio of a Mitsubishi Lancer EVO VI?" Asuka asked.
"Eight point seven to one!" Rei danced around the sidewalk, her pink mittens dangling from her wrists like Christmas ornaments, which only infuriated Asuka more as she couldn't find out what she could ask to stump Rei and her fountain of knowledge. She stopped and thought back to all the impossible questions she asked as a little girl.
"Okay, Smarty-pants, why is yawning contagious?"
Rei stopped dead in her tracks. "Curve ball! They'd never ask that kind of question! Not in a million years! That's not even answerable! No one knows!"
"Uh oh! Wrong answer! What kind of wild stunt will Ms. Ayanami have to go through now!?" Asuka said with her best cheesy announcer voice. "It looks like she'll have to take a salmon to the groin!"
---
"I certainly do love Christmas, Shinji-kun!" Kaworu crooned as he carried a large box of christmas ornaments into the living room of the house. "It's all just so festive!"
"Did you really have to blow all of our budget on the egg-nog and all these decorations?"
"Well of course, silly! That's the whole point of christmas time spirit!" Kaworu said as he filled the refrigerator full of festive holiday beverages, which happened to have a mixture of vintage late 20th century energy drinks called Redbull. "So what did you get Tristan, Shinji-kun." Kaworu said as he began to hum a happy tune while putting the egg-nog away
Shinji blushed and was unsure as to what to say he got Tristan. After all of their adventures together, after all the money Tristan had earned, after everything that had been done for him, he was still very wary as to what to get for Tristan Delecour. He had some ideas, but he wasn't quite sure enough for his final decision. "I'm not sure... I think I'll get him that new record case that he seems to be so fond of."
"Good idea!" Kaworu said from behind the door of the refrigerator, a light puff of steam coming from his breath. "You certainly are wise beyond your years, Shinji..." Kaworu stood from the refrigerator, closing the door and approaching Shinji with a slight smile still on his face.
Shinji could only look up from his seat and blink.
---
Gendo headed back to his home in the mountains, driving the old Aston Martin Vanquish with incredible ease. As he drove through the hills of Japan, he knew that he was in for an interesting Christmas as it began to snow. He turned the heater on in the car and began to wonder about how his son was growing up over the years and what it meant to be a father to such an important boy.
While deep in thought, Gendo's cellular phone began to ring. "What is it?" Gendo barked, not wishing to be bothered at this hour.
"Oh simmer down old man, you're gonna give yourself a stroke!" Tristan said on the other line, accentuating the "o" in stroke to a ridiculous amount while shouting over heavy pulsating music in the background. A wave of relief came crashing over Gendo's soul as he realized that it was indeed Tristan Delecour, and not just some stupid-head like Shinji, Fuyutsuki or one of those knuckle-headed incompetent workers from NERV. "We're having a Christmas party at our place, come over and bring some food, and a guest! It'll be on Christmas day, of course."
But before Gendo could respond, Tristan had already hung up the phone. "Damn it, Tristan, I thought you were coming back after Christmas!" Gendo cursed as he drove further into the mountains, approaching the large cluster of Pagoda's. The Vanquish erupt an unearthly growl as Gendo pressed the accelerator faster, wanting to get to his palace as soon as possible.
---
"And then we totally need to get him this!" Rei held up an olive green shirt from the Illig-boutique in downtown Tokyo-3 which had turned around thanks to Tristan Delecour's keen business sense and totally had not gone bust in late 2003 due to poser-shithead-retard brands like Tripp making shitty goth-wannabe-bondage rip-offs of their clothing for mall goths and spooky kids who listened to Marilyn Manson and other terrible "industrial rock".
Asuka mumbled something about her legs being tired as she made a third trip to her already packed Lancer Evolution. "Y'know, I love him as much as you, but I think you need to put a stop with the clothes. You've basically bought out the entire line in his size in every color."
"My Tristy-kun needs to have all the best!" Rei chided as she put another sweater into Asuka's outstretched arms. Various strips of clothing and fabric hung from the clothes of brown, grey, olive drab, black, and navy blue.
"What do you mean, 'My Tristy-kun'?" Asuka asked from behind the pile of clothing. "He slept with me first."
"Ah maybe so, but so far, he's slept with me more times!" Rei said with a big smile on her face. "And it was ever so good!"
"You know, I really liked it when you didn't have a soul, and all that fun stuff," Asuka frowned in displeasure. "It was so much easier to figure you out.
"Well, all it took was a little James Brown," Rei sang happily as she posed much like the hardest working man in show-business.
"Yeah, whatever..." Asuka trailed off.
"Now what do you think of this on me?"
---
"So what you're telling me is that you got shot by Gendo, Rei's actually a soulless clone of Gendo's wife, Yui, I get shot, NERV is invaded by SEELE, third impact occurs, but Shinji fucks it up, and we all have this big congratulatory scene with Shinji in the LCL?" Misato asked Ritsuko while slurping down noodles in the packed ramen joint.
"Pretty much. What a crazy dream, eh? Things certainly are better now,"
"Indeed they are, indeed they are, Say, do you know where I can get some eggnog around here? I think we're almost out of it at home," Misato queried Ritsuko.
"Perhaps you should find out for yourself, eh?"
---
"So, how is my beautiful and wonderful project going that is spending all the budget?" Gendo asked the project leader who was clad in a haz-mat suit.
"Well, she's almost done, it's taken a massive amount of funding, but we've manage to recreate the DNA pattern to an exact duplicate of your wife's. Thanks to your blood cell and double redundant DNA taking before her trip. There's a slight issue with her memories, but we're still working on th-"
Gendo cut the tech off mid-sentence, his teeth clenched in frustration with this news. "Will she be ready for Christmas?"
"Well, if we keep working on it at this rate, although the age acceleration process may not be quite up to the degree that you requested, with patchy memory at best."
"You just get it done." Gendo mumbled as he looked through the glass at the team of fifty technicians work around a glowing vat.
---
"Hey, you're suuuuch a pretty boy," Kaworu sang to Shinji while sitting in the large bathtub. "You're so pretty!"
Shinji squirmed uneasily while the pale skinned oh so bishonen laid his arms around his shoulders, singing a very old Depeche Mode song. He could never really read Kaworu properly after the whole confession that he was there to destroy humanity, and the whole squishy Kaworu in the hands of the EVA thing. A slight hiccup, but nothing that could stop a man's love for an angel.
"All the boys we got to get to-geth-er," Kaworu continued to sing in quiet voice to his oh so lovely Shinji. Certainly nothing could ruin the mood with the snow falling delicately against the garden, all visible through the double fog-proof plate glass window that had been recently installed. It was much like being outdoors, yet with the privacy of the glass provided against anyone who could be walking by. A benefit of living in the 20's, indeed.
"Yooo! We're back!" a certain foreign accented Japanese cried out through the classical architecture. A few loud footsteps and the door slid open, with two distinct hair colors poking through the door frame "Hey what are you.. Oh. Sorry!"
"Can I watch?" Rei asked, entering the room.
"... No," Shinji said.
"Please?" Rei begged on her knees at the edge of the deep tub, getting her shirt completely soaked from the water.
"The man has spoken, now if you mind, you miscreant little half-breed tube-baby, I must have you leave, barring personal removal done by my own two hands," Kaworu said while pointing to the doorway.
Rei glared at the sparkling red eyes that she and Kaworu shared, and then could only simper out, "I suppose I could wrap presents," and ran from the room, bursting in tears.
---
Tristan Delecour tapped his fingers impatiently on the edge of his arm rest on the massive cargo plane. Not only was his plane being held up at the airport terminal, they wanted to inspect the cargo for possible terrorist threats. The plane lurched forward and his empty cup of ice spilled on the dove gray BDU's he was wearing. The water melting from the ice slipped off the water-proof fabric and went into the cloth seat he was sitting on, making a darkened spot in the light blue fabric.
"What the hell is taking so long?" He frowned, as the plane made yet another abrupt stop. "Fuck this!" he proclaimed and leapt out of his seat, running to the cargo area. With the hatch button close by, he hammered the controls, only to run over to his sleek 1997 Eclipse, releasing the ties that held the car captive to the plane's. Luckily enough for Tristan, there was still enough gas for him to get home, and he was running all season tires for the transport. The engine coughed to life after a quick startup as the rear gate began to drop to the ground.
"Success!" He smiled as he jammed the new straight cut transmission dog-box into reverse and the gears whined as the car rolled down the ramp onto the runway. He jammed the transmission into first gear, and with nary a wheel slipping in the new snowfall, the car rocketed forward, the exhaust resonating in the quiet air. He easily found his way off the runway onto the major highways, where he was no doubt the ruler of all the highways after a long and arduous systematic defeat of all the highway racing teams, along with all the "wanderers" where he finally had defeated the much annoying RB26DETT swapped 240Z.
As Tristan cleared through the snow, barely grazing over the surface with the carbon-fiber aerodynamics that had made the car into the touring car champion of the world, he saw the familiar outline of Asuka's EVO and Rei's little Toyota, which he laughed at as he made a little joke about the interchangeability of EVOs and EVAs. Surely he was the king of comedy as well?
---
"So yeah, what the fuck?" Asuka said as she prepared the rice and ninja specialty foods, to Rei, who at the time was crying over the large wok making some sort of stir fry that filled the kitchen with a very familiar smell of various oils, spices, and vegetables.
"I couldn't watch them, and he hates me, and I'm never going to get on Whopper Stoppers, and everything is going wrong and this is totally the worst week I have ever had, even worse than those times where I died a few times fighting giant monsters and what ever will I ever do?" Rei let the tears fall from her eyes freely now, the drops falling on her bust, darkening the white cotton shirt she was wearing.
"Oh pish-posh," Asuka said as she pat Rei's shoulder. "I'm sure everything will be better tomorrow. Kaworu is love, isn't he?"
"Oh, fuck him! Fuck him and his love, and his peace, and his love! I don't want anything to do with him or be associated with him ever!" the light blue haired girl cried, dropping to her knees in front of the natural gas powered stove. "I'm always playing second fiddle to his cello. I'm not good enough for synch ratios compared to him. He always gets all the guys. He makes me want to vomit all over myself every time I see him I-"
Asuka interrupted this tirade by slapping her across the face with her open hand. "Bitch gone crazy!"
"Oh, I'm so sorry, it's just all this time away from Tristan has really made me ever so lonely!" Rei sniffled, blowing her pert nose into her shirt, exposing her firm abdomen to the open air.
"What's all the crying?" Shinji asked as he wandered in. "It seems as if someone missed Whopper Stoppers, am I right or what, folks?" Shinji himself was a massive fan of Whopper Stoppers, but not to the point of desperation that Rei was.
"Shut up, you little toad!" Asuka shouted as she threw a fork at Shinji's head, which narrowly missed his ear. "Don't you know anything at all about how to console women?"
"Not really, I mean considering I've never had that much interest in them after meeting Kaworu," Shinji said, smiling. "I just wanted to know if anyone wanted to go watch some of the Noh play that's going on-"
"Hey everybody, what's goin' on in this house?" A familiar and oh so lovely voice asked from the front entry-way.
"In here, darling?!" Asuka cried out as she helped Rei to her feet.
Tristan Delecour delicately stepped into the kitchen area with his hands held behind his back. "I'm back home!"
"But you weren't supposed to be back until the twenty fourth?" Shinji blinked as Tristan walked over to Rei, examining the dampness on her shirt.
"Has my Japanese lotus blossom been crying?" Tristan asked, holding up Rei's chin with his thumb and forefinger.
"Uh, no, we were just uh, practicing the wet t-shirt contest!" Asuka fibbed quickly to which Rei nodded.
"Yes! We were! We very much were!" Rei said, blinking rapidly, trying to clear her eyes of any excess dampness.
"Well, I'll take your word for it, as I have a bit of an early Christmas present for Ms. Ayanami," Tristan said, taking his left hand out from behind his back. In it were five plastic tickets, and he handed them to Rei, who promptly examined one of them.
"These are..." Rei trailed off as the excitement began to build much like the pressure in a potato gun ready to be launched. Shinji and Asuka poked their head besides Rei's to see what the tickets were for.
"WHOPPER STOPPER TICKETS!" Shinji and Asuka cried out in unison that matched their synchronization so many, many years ago.
---
In the audience, Asuka sat uncomfortably in her red plugsuit. "This certainly is longer than I ever realized before!" she whispered to Tristan, who could merely shrug as he watched the danger and excitement unfold. It was the twenty-first of December, 09:48, and one of the contestants had already been shot out of a cannon into a pile of fish guts, and another was made to eat fourteen pounds of raw beef tripe, which they promptly vomited all over the stage after a mere pound.
"Wow, talk about efficiency of the clean up crew!" Kaworu mused to himself as the tripe was cleaned off the stage. Kaworu was the only one of the five not in a plugsuit, as his was long discarded. Since the last contestant was booted off for not knowing the proper knowledge, it was time to call one last contestant.
"Rei Ayanami of Team NERV, I want YOU to come on down!" the hyperactive game-show host called from the stage, who somehow resembled an odd semblance of a Japanese Bob Barker. Two older Japanese contestants already stood in their respective places, hoping to get big money and/or big prizes from Whopper Stoppers, Japan's largest and most popular game show ever to be aired.
Rei began to scream as the realization hit her that she was actually going to be a contestant on NHK television's Whopper Stoppers. She bolted upright and started to jump up and down maniacally, her arms waving above her head while Asuka, Tristan, Kaworu, and Shinji patted her shoulders as she ran down the stairway to the combat pods. The name tag on her plugsuit bounced off her chest as she ran down to the last remaining combat pod of the evening.
"Rei Ayanami, so interesting to see you! You defend our world with your piloting skills, but do you have the skills for WHOPPER STOPPERS?"
"Yes, I believe I do!" she sang out with a full smile as she strapped herself into the pod. "For my country and for my love, I will win!"
"Well then, let's get ready to plaaaaaaay! Since you're our lowest scored contestant, Rei, you're in control of the Whopper Stopper."
Rei put a puzzled look on her face as she looked at the Whopper Stopper board. The game-play of Whopper Stoppers was deceptively simple. Whopper Stoppers was set up much like a common American board game, with three cartoon characters representing the various players on the playing field. Rei currently was playing as the octopus, and to make her turn happen, a dial would spin on screen, and a corresponding hit of her buzzer would have her game piece move the proceeding number of steps onto the question for the remaining three contestants. The winner of the question would get control of the Whopper Stopper board, and they would move forward to the goal. But if they got the question wrong, or if they had not buzzed in in over four turns, that is when the punishment came in. Rei watched the Whopper-Wheel spinning in place, her eyes coldly calculating the precise time of her buzz.
"YATTA!" She cried out in determination as the wheel stopped. It was at 6, which placed her with one of her opponents.
"First question!" The host announced. "Why do clocks run clockwise and not the other way around?"
Too easy, Rei thought as she hammered the buttons with her lightning fast reflexes, honed by fighting giant monsters, her martial arts training, and lots of sex. "Clocks run clockwise due to the fact that Sun dials were created in the Northern Hemisphere. If they had been developed in the Southern Hemisphere, such as in Australia, they would run counter clockwise."
"Judges say that is sufficient! Next pick goes to Rei Ayanami!"
Rei once again concentrated as the number wheel spun rapidly. Her deliberate movement had the pointer stop at six, which put her even with the Japanese woman beside her, named Midori. Rei grinned at her opponent when she looked over at her, and held her finger over the button.
Time passed, and another contestant was booted off in a most disgraceful manner of being dipped in mayonnaise and put in a giant italian submarine sandwich.
"Well, Ms. Ayanami, since you are our last contestant, you have one question left... Are you ready for it?"
Rei looked on with apprehension, and nodded slowly. "Yes, I believe I am."
"Why is yawning contagious?" The Japanese Bob Barker asked as his slicked-back hair glimmered under the bright stage lights.
Rei panicked. It was like her worst nightmare come true. Her mind flipped through all the books, all the knowledge she had learned in college. Nothing had prepared her for this question except for Asuka's asking. Her forehead began to sweat and she began to stutter a bit. "Et-et-et-et-et-et-eto..."
She looked back in the audience to see Asuka yawn. She started to yawn slightly herself, instincts kicking in, and she made the connection.
"Yawning is a process of self reflection. When someone else is yawning it triggers the natural instincts to yawn in response. However, due to the fact that yawning can be controlled by one's own mind, they are not truly 'contagious' ad you have suggested," Rei responded, smiling at the end.
"Judges say she is... correct?" the announcer said in disbelief. Truly this pale young woman knew much more than he had ever guessed. Considering it was a trick question in the first place, he didn't know how to properly award this girl.
The octopus on the screen began to dance and Rei exited the pod to the host shaking her hand and bowing politely in a form of respect. Rei was the champion of Whopper Stoppers and was going to be invited back at some point to compete in an all-stars round of Whopper Stoppers where the stakes were even higher for public humiliation and scandal.
A shower of Hello Kitty plush dolls fell around Rei's feet, and a giant Badtz Maru plush fell into her arms unexpectedly.
"Omedetou!" The host said to Rei as the rest of team NERV ran down to congratulate Rei.
"Omedetou, Rei!" Asuka said with a huge smile on her face.
"Omedetou, Rei!" Shinji grinned with his eyes shining bright.
"Omedetou, Rei-chan!" Kaworu said with Shinji in hie arms.
"COOOONGRADULATIONS!" Tristan bellowed out in English and then put her on top of her shoulders as she cheered as the winner of Whopper Stoppers. Somewhere, in the distance, a bearded figure raised a drink to the soulless clone turned Whopper Stoppers champion.
---
"Help! Oh forever love of mercy help!" Kaworu cried from Shinji's bedroom, half-undressed, his white silk shirt strewn open exposing his thin pale chest free of any marks or even the hint of a hair, sprawled over Shinji's bed. "I am in incredible agony here! Oh, my precious life-force is being drained before my very own eyes! If someone could only help my invaluable energy!"
"Shut it, Kaworu," Asuka said, filing her thumbnail carefully, looking in at the thirteenth angel. "I've got an important date with Tristan today."
"But my life force is being drained by the fact that my thirst has not been quenched! I simply must have it! I simply must!" Kaworu said, batting his gorgeous red eyes as he looked at the upside down towel-clad form of Asuka. "You simply must pour me another glass of that wondrous eggnog!"
"Get up and get it yourself," she said, wandering off to her own room. "Or go use your AT field. I don't really care."
"You'll be sorry, Asuka! That's how you get coal in your stocking!"
Asuka mumbled something in response, but Kaworu didn't manage to hear it very clearly. He rolled over, righting himself up and picked up the Waterford crystal glass over to the kitchen, being careful to avoid both Pen Pen and Tristan's cat who were battling it out for space.
In the central fireplace, Shinji had built a very traditional fire with a pot of tea boiling above it, but Kaworu had no desire for hot water, he wanted his eggnog. "Certainly this is the drink of the gods! And I should know!" Kaworu mused to himself.
For ten minutes, Kaworu sat on the kitchen counter, grinning like a cheshire cat as he slowly drank his eggnog. After a bit more time, Misato entered the kitchen and opened the icebox to get a can of soda. "What are you so happy about?" she said cracking open the lid of the soda. After so many years, the simple soda can had not changed much from its mid eighties redesign.
"Well, it's Christmas time, isn't it?" Kaworu kept smiling, his hands wrapped around the eggnog glass. "Shouldn't we all be so thankful that our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ was born in a few days?"
Misato raised an eyebrow to this, and yawned. "Well, maybe, but certainly do we have to be so religious? You seem to forget how fair-weather the majority Japanese are on the subject of Christmas."
"Oh yes, I have done quite a bit of studying on your culture and what not, but I do believe that you should know that Jesus Christ truly is our Lord and Saviour and you should accept him into your life."
"Uh, I already did?" Misato said haphazardly to get Kaworu to just shut up for a moment.
"Oh, that's right, you were so very fond of that cross you wore around your neck. My mistake!" Kaworu spoke, mostly to himself and not to Misato. Certainly Tabris himself could have made such a silly mistake.
---
As Shinji sat on the couch, he flipped through the channels on the large flat-screened television. Beer commercial, Monkey Magic competition, Fast Times at Richmond High, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Part 3; Turtles in Time, Rei doing a grand opening of a local department store, Godzilla part sixteen.
Wait, Shinji thought, I've got to see Rei opening a department store. He flipped the channel back and sure enough, the pilot of Unit 00 was opening a new department store in Shinjuku-3, mobbed by blue haired teenaged girls who were already cashing in on the new Rei Ayanami-look after her victory on Whopper Stoppers. Every single one was screaming insanely at the appearance of their new idol.
"Certainly Whopper Stoppers is the most brilliant television show on television now, eh Shinji-chan?" Kaworu said from the doorway, his shirt still unbuttoned. "I mean, any show that asks such knowledge and punishes the ignorant could be so great?"
Shinji scratched his head, his hair becoming upset by this, and shrugged, confused by what Kaworu had just said. "I'm not sure if I follow you..."
"Oh, it's okay, my darlingest of all darlings, the only one who can do less wrong than you is Tristan Delecour, and he's not even here right now!"
Rei cut the ribbon and the police could no longer control the frenzy of fans that were so anxious in meeting Rei. They stormed the process and picked Rei up easily, raising her no doubt to a higher power that only they could see. She was their trophy. Their very own prize.
---
Sure enough, Tristan Delecour was out on the town of Tokyo Three, looking for a parking spot for himself and Asuka for their lunch appointment. His Eclipse belched out a rich exhaust note as it crawled through the snow fallen city, looking for a parking garage.
"Why didn't we take a train?" Asuka asked, as she was actually starting to get more than a bit hungry for something other than Japanese food, which Tristan had promised her. Authentic French cuisine cooked by the masters. Tristan had made such a big deal about it, she wasn't so sure that it would hold up to the deal, but it was a change over the endless amount of sushi that she was getting tired of.
"There! A garage!" Tristan pointed out and shifted into first gear, causing both of the occupants to buck against the five point restraints. "Twenty yens for two hours?" Tristan complained. "What shit!"
"Just pay it!" Asuka frowned, looking out the window at the grey concrete looming at her. "When's our reservation for?"
"One thirty."
Asuka checked her watch, and sure enough, it was only one p.m., even after all the wandering they had done. "I can't say I've done something so formal for a mere lunch."
"Well now you have."
"Yeah, well, whatever."
---
Rei Ayanami was unsure how to carry herself as the crowd carried her through the department store. Hands covered the bottom of her body, the anxious hands transmitting warmth through the thin silk kimono she wore for the occasion. It was Tristan's idea for her to wear the kimono, as faith in the traditional clothing was taking a turn for the worse with fewer young women being not only not interested in kimonos, but not interested in any of Japan's rich cultural heritage of steamrolling through other Asian countries in times of war.
"Perhaps this was not a wise idea," She thought to herself as she passed through the cooking utensil section. The mob by now was starting to thin out as they got further in the store, and it dispersed after she managed to wriggle free from her teenage captors, her traditional japanese wooden shoes clacking on the glossy linoleum floors. She ran from the crowd to the changing rooms, hoping to find somewhere that she could get help from. Anyone to take her away from
---
"Mmmm... I've never been this naughty," Asuka giggled quietly as she pulled off her tightly knit sweater in the unoccupied bathroom of the French restaurant while Tristan ran kisses down the nape of her neck, his fingers roving over her bare chest. She ran her hands down Tristan's side to his belt, yanking at it to loosen it. In one deft maneuver, she had managed to remove the belt from Tristan's pants, and started yanking at his tie.
The theme to Beethoven's Ode To Joy began to play faintly from Tristan's slacks. Tristan went to reach for it but she batted his hands away from the phone. "Leave it..." she begged him as she began to unbutton his shirt.
Tristan removed his mouth from Asuka's neck and tried to explain. "That's my super emergency ring tone! That means there's an angel attack! Or worse!"
"Oh fuck the angels, I need you now!"
Tristan paid no heed to the redhead's warnings and he answered the cellular telephone. "This better be good!" he said while stroking Asuka's red-brown hair, toosling the ends within his finger tips.
"Triiiistan!" The voice on the other end cried out. "I need your help! I'm being over run by fans and you're the only one I can count on!"
Tristan glanced at Asuka's face which was quickly turning from pure unbridled lust to extreme irritation. "Can't you figure it out on your own? I'm really, really, busy right now. Like, really busy. So very busy."
"But I might die! They're tearing me apart here! I need your help now!"
Tristan was torn at this news. On one hand he had Asuka on his knees, who was ready to do anything for him, and then he had Rei, who was in grave danger. This was one of the hardest decisions he had to make all day! And it was so unusually cold. So very cold.
"I gotta go save Rei!" Tristan proclaimed as he raised himself up, dropping Asuka on to her rear. He did not even let the expression of complete defeat and rejection set in on the face of Asuka while he left the door, chattering lightly against the frame.
"Well.. Fuck you!" Asuka mumbled as tears began to flow down her cheeks.
---
"Yui, Yui, Yui..." Gendo sang quietly as he ran his gloved finger down the side of the cylindrical glass tube with the figure of his late wife in it. "Oh how I have missed you so very much, and how much you have missed in this world...."
He pressed his hands against the glass much like a child would do at the aquarium, in full wonder of the figure within. No longer was there a narrow-bodied fourteen year old girl, but the body of a full grown woman. The woman he had once loved and tried to recreate before. But this was a special treat, a special woman. She was flawless in all ways, and he knew that his works had not gone undone.
Yui herself was in a "false-sleep" as information of her previous life was being fed into her brain directly via the probes placed around her skull. The liquid solution radiated an eerie glow through the dark room, giving a red-orange bath to the remaining equipment and bio-waste that was left over from producing her body. Various lines were inserted into her body and tubes running into her mouth and nose to aid in her breathing process. A projected graph of her vital statistics was monitoring her every move, although in a short thirty hours, she would be ready to meet the world.
"Soon enough... Soon enough."
---
"Rei!" Tristan shouted as he ran through the department store, his car parked in the middle of the sidewalk. Blue-haired japanese young women covered the floors in all directions he could. He looked up towards the multistoried building and without a doubt, he saw a glimpse of the real Rei Ayanami skittering across the plexiglass bridges that were designed to mimic the traditional Japanese river bridges with their slight arching.
Tristan ran through the crowds of people that were forming around him, surprised to see him back once more in Japan, especially after one Rei Ayanami. He climbed the stairwells as he arrived on the fourth floor, pushing his way through the hordes of school girls, as they started to turn their attention from Ms. Ayanami to the oh so sexually powerful Tristan Delecour. What once had been a simple rescue mission had become a voyage into heavily armed enemy territory, unarmed, alone, and oh so very blue-balled, pardon the terms.
For the umpteenth time in his life, he was going into danger for no apparent reason other than to blindly save the life of a fellow human being. Certainly the Nobel Peace Prize should have been given to him that year for his amazing discoveries in biochemical weaponry research, but such was his life, a constant battle of the mind, the soul, and the body. It was starting to take its toll on his spirit, but Tristan Delecour's spirit could never be broken no matter what kind of pain put through unless he was subjected to listening to Robert Miles.
During all this thinking, Tristan had absent-mindedly wandered into a jewelry section where it was being under construction.
"Damn, shit, hell," Tristan said as he reminded himself that he had to stop by Tiffany's for Asuka and Rei's gifts that he ordered specialty made. Nothing but the best items for the women in his life. He wasn't quite sure as what to get for Misato, but he figured he had made some extra dime during his last tour, he could find something nice for her. He then saw the construction elevator and quickly ran to it. "Fourth floor!" he sang as the elevator rose quickly.
Upon his arrival, he saw Rei's prone body lying on the floor, a mere forty meters away. Her arms limply beside her head, her brow dripping with sweat after running from the horrors of the nubile young women who wished to be one Ms. Rei Ayannami.
"Oh Rei!" Tristan said as he ran over to Rei's limp body. "Are you alright?"
Rei opened her eyes and breathed out as she looked into his beautiful brown eyes. "Tristan Delecour, you're my hero," she said with bated breath.
Tristan picked up the girl and slung her over his shoulders, commando-style as he ran back to the elevator, the kimono Rei was wearing flapping in the breeze that Tristan was making from his running. Upon reaching the elevator he rested against the back of the elevator, his head against Rei's obi.
"Well that was quick," Rei remarked as her head was jammed against the angle-iron framework of the construction elevator. "I mean I certainly did expect you here, but you sure did come faster than I could've ever have guessed."
"Eh, anything for my precious schnuckie-wookum Rei-chan," Tristan said as they reached the ground floor. By now, the coast appeared clear, and Tristan was able to let Rei walk under her own power.
"So where's Asuka, I thought you had a lunch date with her?" Rei remarked as she walked four steps behind Tristan, rearranging the multiple kimono nonchalantly. Surely a proper Japanese woman had no place to step toe to toe with the great Tristan Delecour, even if she was receiving gifts from him.
"Eh, I simply must leave when you have such emergencies." he said in return, not looking back as he went to his car. "Better take off a few layers there, Rei."
"But I came in my eighty-six! All my clothes are there and-" She whined, only to get a horribly icy glare from Tristan.
"I said, you should remove a few of those kimono, Rei," Tristan said through his teeth, his brow narrowing as he snapped his head back at the pale half-breed.
"Oh Tristan, I'm so sorry! I'm ever so sorry! Please forgive me, I'm so terribly, terribly sorry!" Rei begged as she dropped to her knees at Tristan's feet. Her eyes began to well up with tears as she realized her mistake of doubting Tristan Delecour, and began to yank off the tightly done obi, pulling the multiple layers of kimono off her body, exposing her breasts to the now staring public. "I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!" she repeated over and over again.
Tristan groaned and yanked Rei up by her arm, her chest heaving as the tears flowed. He pulled one of the undergarments over her chest and sighed in frustration. "Rei, get a hold of yourself, you're making a scene."
"I know, I know..." Rei said as she wiped her nose off on the backside of her hand. "It's just all these emotions inside me just fight and tangle and I don't know what's wrong with me..."
"Just get in the car," Tristan muttered, stepping carefully over the roll bar into the well supported carbon fiber Sparco seat.
---
Misato leisurely smoked the cigarette as the snow began to fall from the dark grey sky. It was December twenty fourth, and there were only a few hours until the inevitable onslaught of Christmas parties that evening. After Tristan had left Asuka in the French restaurant, she had gone back to her own room and refused to talk to Tristan. Now Tristan had done this kind of maneuver before with rescues, but never in the middle of something so important to her. Tristan had made multiple tries to get a reaction from her, presenting her various sonnets, black roses (Asuka's personal favorite), and offers for sexual escapades and she merely ignored them as she shut herself into her room and updated her internet journal with messages about how suicidal she was becoming. All of this being monitored by Tristan, of course, despite her personal lock on the entries. Rei, on the other hand, had found that fame was more than what she had bargained for, and was being constantly hounded by fans at her apartment building, and was now being under the watch of twenty heavily-armed NERV guards. She was also constantly apologizing to Tristan on what mistakes she had made during his stunning and most amazing rescue.
"Looks like a white Christmas to me." She mused to herself as she waited outside Ritsuko's condominium, the ash of the cigarette still hanging onto the cherry of the cigarette. She sighed and exhaled, the smoke pluming out of her carefully lip-sticked mouth. She dropped the cigarette on the ground and stepped on it, extinguishing the flame on the freshly fallen snow, opening the door to the condominium with apprehension. Ritsuko was taking more time than ever. "Hey Ritsuko, Maya, let's go, alright?"
"Sorry! We just had to get some things ready for the party," Maya cried out from Ritsuko's pitifully small kitchen. Maya knew about the party at Gendo's that evening would be totally catered, but she couldn't help but to bring over her famed mother's recipe of fried squid tempura. She was just about finished when Misato called her name, so she knew she had enough time before they all piled into Maya's pink Nissan Cube, as Ritsuko didn't drive, and Misato's car was completely useless in the snowy weather. It wouldn't get them there that fast, it wouldn't get them there very comfortably, but it would manage its best in the heavy snow. As she finished the large plate, she sealed it in the massive Tupperware container, keeping the smells and heat in its own broth.
"Ritsuko, Maya, let's go!" Misato called, tapping the stumpy heel of her shoe against the entryway. Lucky for Misato, as she had no desire nor the need to wear the massive platforms that had come back in vogue among the shorter women in Japan. The new term for them was "Super Elevators" and a few even had LED lights going up and down them.
"Coming!" Ritsuko trotted down the hallway in a large overcoat and her hair dyed brown and done in a bun.
"Brown?"
"Yeah, what's it to you?" RItsuko said, pulling on a glove.
"Just... Odd."'
"You're odd,"
"I'm not the one who's bringing a dish to a catered event," Misato sighed, opening the door.
---
Asuka Sohryu Langley laid in her room and sulked, sitting in her cotton grey underwear after the ordeal with Tristan. A stack of paper with Tristan's crinkled poetry sat in the far reach of the room, along with at least four dozen dead black roses, rotting quietly from neglect. Her hair hung over her face in wet strands as she hugged her knees to her chest, her face buried in between them. Occasionally she would cry, letting out whimpering that would have Tristan running for forgiveness, but she would not grant it. There was no way that Asuka was going to let Tristan get away for his treatment of her. To Asuka, her first and only relationship in the history of her life was over.
Upon Tristan's leaving of her at the restaurant, and her realizing that he didn't really care about her as much as she had ever thought. Her body was wracked with pain and regret over her foolishness that Tristan was ever going to be the one for her, and that she could ever compare to Ayanami.
Asuka lifted her head, the feeling of complete emptiness overwhelming her entire torso, the anguish sitting deep within her stomach like an ulcer. She longed to return to him after the brief few days, but she just couldn't after all the times Tristan had let her down. The time they were going to go eat dinner on the anniversary of Tristan's arrival to Japan. Ruined by a challenge from a racing team. Instead of spending time with her, he worked on his cars, cleaned rifles, practiced Jeet Kune Do, worked out, ran, did all those things over her. He would go to the modern art galleries with Rei. He would do everything with and for Rei, and nothing for her. Oh sure, he would buy her a car, rings, and many a thing, but he never took interest into her as a human being. Sex was wonderful, but Asuka needed a better emotional and more loving man in her life than what Tristan seemed to provide. It all felt so hollow, and superficial.
Her computer system began to play more depressing music, this time being the late 20th century band "Depeche Mode". It wasn't making the pain easier on her at all, as most of the songs were about repentance, love, regret, and so forth. Asuka climbed out of her bed, and looked over at the mirror at herself, and rubbed her eyes clear, her face in a depressive twist.
"Is this where it all ends?" She said, as she sighed and wiped her hands off with tissues. "Will I ever find someone as good as Tristan was to me? Is this how my first true relationship ends?"
She turned off the speakers deftly, and wandered opened the door to her room, when Tristan's cat walked in, rubbing herself against Asuka's legs in an attempt to make her feel better. She put a half-smile on and picked the cat up, scratching the cat behind the ears gently.
"If he could've only been as nice to me as he was to the cat," She mused out-loud, knowing that the entire house was empty as everyone was at the various Christmas parties of the evening. Asuka had bluntly refused to go to any of them, due to Tristan's presence. She knew that he was reading her journal, she knew that he would be as slimy as possible to get her back, per usual Delecour tricks. Asuka was a little bit too smart to fall for that one though, as her true thoughts were all locked up in a text file on her computer with a password that he would never know. She was dead sure of it, as it was completely abstract and had nothing to do with her life, obsessions, or relationships.
Asuka slowly wandered through the house, the giant plate-glass windows showing the snow softly falling on the bare gardens. Her teeth gritted slightly as she became frustrated with the gentle beauty that she was watching transpire before her face. This kind of stress on top of being a pilot was more than enough to make her wander in Tristan's room and look at his collection of antique small arms from the mid to late twentieth century, mostly stemming from Germany, France, and a few from Great Britain. Something chided her internally as she thought about the power that these rifles had to do. Granted, no Japanese could legally own such an arsenal, but with the liscence that NERV provided, owning firearms was a legal option, and Tristan apparently took advantage of it.
---
"So what's the big mystery that's supposed to be going on tonight?" Kaworu asked as his dress shirt glimmered in the light, occasionally taking a sip from his martini glass.
"I wouldn't know," Shinji said, looking around nervously in his father's gothic styled mansion. The whole ballroom area was alienating, dark, and was filled with various western European artifacts that had been dug up from the sunken remains. It was quite a market to recover such pieces.
"Surely you know something?" Rei asked, wearing a black silk petal-style dress that was given to her by Tristan at some point or another.
"Nothing, nothing at all! Why does everyone think I know something? I hate my dad! I don't even know why I'm here! I hate you all" Shinji began his tirade as he put his face into Kaworu's collarbone. Kaworu put on a nervous smile and patted Shinji's hair in the back.
---
"So you're going to help me, eh, Tristan?" Gendo said, rubbing his beard.
"Well, I guess," the sixth pilot mused while thinking of fully automatic French rifles.
"Look at me when I'm talking to you, boy!" Gendo barked, becoming the commander that he should've been a long time ago. "This is of the utmost importance!"
"Yes, yes, what can I say?" Tristan shrugged, his shoulders moving in semi-circular movements to ease a pain that was unseen by Gendo.
"I'm thinking about it!" Gendo said back, tightening the bow-tie that he had worn for the event. "Is Yui ready?"
"Seems so,"
"Great, let's get out there and show 'em who's the boss!" Gendo said, motioning to the front of the stage for himself and Tristan to go out to.
--
In front of the large, murmuring crowd, Gendo and Tristan looked at their audience of all the personal friends and family of the Ikari.
"A drop of water, a bolt of lightning, the sands of the desert. All of these being harnessed by mankind for various methods of destruction and construction. Each one having its own process. To recreate each was no matter, but to recreate life once living. Life from what once was not life. To recreate a soul, was never in the realms of mankind before. To reincarnate what was lost, to reclaim what was stolen, to turn back the clock on nature, has always been beyond our grasp. Many efforts have been made, but few successful. We're lucky to be in the company of several of the greatest men and women on this planet. Those who have assisted us in this project, be it friends, family, or science officers of NERV, tonight is the night that we all come together and thank everyone. Tonight is the night that someone very special to us all who was ripped from our world much too soon has arrived. A thousand deaths, a hundred years, nothing shall ever take us apart. Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to my wife, Yui Ikari. Yui, please walk forward."
---
END OF CHAPTER ONE
