-Starcraft

--Dead On Delivery

---Chapter 9: Signed and Sealed

The minute I stepped off the lift, I could hear some sort of automatic weapon go off. Bullets fell all around the elevator and I dove toward some crates nearby. Damn, Derringer had finally worked up the nerve to fire off his automatic handgun. It only took him the length of his hotel room to the Starport! But he wasn't a very good shot, I mean sheez... he must have rattled off 25 rounds and didn't even come close. I could see him when he went to reload, he was on the other side of the tarmac, using the loading ramp of a Dropship for cover. Oh shit! A Dropship! As far as I could tell though, there was no pilot so I still had time.

"Nice going Raleigh! You stupid bastard! This whole Starport is being surrounded as we speak! You don't have anywhere to go now!"

"Neither do you! Asshole!" I shouted back.

Seeing as I stood next to the only way on and off the tarmac, I felt confident that I wasn't blowing smoke with that statement. Now, all I had to do was blow his head off his shoulders and this would be all over... On the other hand, Raleigh wasn't exactly a rock or some Zergling preoccupied with a Marine...

Thak thak thak thak thak thak!

Damn! That gun of his was loud!

"This the first time you ever fired that gun off?" I yelled. "You don't even have your eyes open when you shoot!"

He shot back the most pleasant finger of all. I knew then, that Derringer never intended to use his beloved automatic handgun. He's one of those types that like to flaunt it off in bars and casinos and act the part of the tough guy. Hold it out and wave it around, but never even consider firing it off. That's when I knew I could probably rush him without worrying too much about getting shot. I mean... the guy wasn't even looking when he shoots the damn thing! All I had to do was wait for him to reload... and... run for it!

I remember watching him drop his hot empty clip and reaching for another. That's when I began to make a mad dash for the Dropship. My eyes were fixated on his hands as he got the clip in and went to cock it. Then he saw me heading right for him and raised his gun in a panicked manner. I hit the deck as he peppered the air with lead. Oh God I loved being right with those moments. He completely missed, cause I was still alive and wasn't missing a leg or arm. This guy should have spent more time practicing with his gun instead of looking at it...

My hands were over my head as I looked up to see his ghost white expression. I was going to body check him before that new clip could be put in. But he didn't stand his ground next to the Dropship ramp and began to run. I chased him without thinking, and now we were running circles around this Dropship. Once again, I got the feeling I was in some lame cartoon but kept going after him. I knew I could get him eventually... And that's when I went face first into his awaiting fist. God dammit...

Guess he had a bit more of a spine than I thought, and it was a sure bet my nose was broken. Of course, I had too much adrenaline in my body at that point so it felt more like a something brushed by it. I hit the ground and lost grip of my gun... hell, I had almost forgotten about it with all the running and dodging. And Derringer was so pissed, he did too and went to work on me with his fists instead of his handgun. Now we were both into it with knuckles flying and knocking the living daylights out of each other...

"Goddamn you! With your stupid name! And your stupid planet!" Derringer spat as he tried to slam my head up and down against the metal tarmac.

It was lucky for me, that we were fighting so close to the Dropship. Why? Well, cause it was easy to punch him in the face, cause his head to whip back and slam into the metal hull of the transport. He howled in pain as he went to cradle his aching cranium and allowed me to get him off of my chest. It wasn't long until we were on our feet and ready to give each other fight bites. You heard of those before? It's where you punch someone so hard in the mouth, they leave dental impressions in your fists. Not a pretty thing, but at least you know you got em' good.

Man, I could feel the breeze as Derringer swung like he was going for a title. I couldn't say I've ever been in a fist fight before, so I spent some of the time backing away and ducking around. ... I think I liked gunfights better...

"Argg!"

Derringer went wide and I dove for his chest. I hit him head first and we both went tumbling to the ground again. Now we were rolling like barrels, trying to stay as the pinner instead of the pinned. Damn he was tough for a pencil pusher... Somehow we got to the point where I was sitting up, and he was trying to strangle me from behind. I got a good grip of his nose and began to pull, eventually making him let go and howl like someone kicked him in the nuts. He stood up and turned away from me. I took this time to grab my revolver, but when I turned around again, he was heading right for me like an out of control locomotive...

This... was not one of his smarter moves. Turned out we had fought our way to the end of the Starport, and when he went flying toward the ground... we went rolling down the end of the tarmac where a huge drop to the ground awaited us. Over and over again, we rolled until I managed to stop myself with my feet. I still had my gun, but my attempt to stop myself was ruined by Derringer, who soon slammed right into me. He grabbed hold of my hands in an attempt to either wrench my gun free, or just to hold on for dear life. Cause now I was on my stomach, and I could see the edge of the Starport tarmac. I nearly pissed my pants as I caught some vent with my foot and stopped instantly. Derringer kept going and went tumbling off the side...

I almost fell with him, because he was still gripping my wrists. It was the only thing keeping him from falling to his death. Unfortunately for him, the reason why he was holding onto my wrists was because my revolver was in my hands, ready to fire. I was pointing it right at his forehead, and had no choice because he wouldn't let go. This is what I remember from this moment.

Both of us were beat up as hell. Probably the worst beating any of us had taken that far out in the sector. I think my mouth had begun to bleed, and I hoped to god I didn't lose any teeth over this. Derringer looked just as bad, cept' his left eye was partially closed and his nostil was losing red stuff like a leaky faucet.

"Ung... Raleigh..." He grunted.

"You know, it's most likely Scratch, Orange, and Crick all went to hell. Because no one lives with a clean conscious out here." I said slowly. "So when you get to hell, I hope they find you, so they can kick your ass again."

"No!" He gasped.

I pulled the trigger and Derringer's face disappeared. I closed my eyes as he went plunging off the side of the Starport without uttering a sound. I guess it's hard to scream when your face is gone. I didn't move for the longest time after killing him. Just sat there dangling by my feet, almost ready to join him in a little dive off the side of the Starport. But eventually I wormed my way back up to where I could grasp the exhaust vents with my hands, and slowly climbed back up to the tarmac. Oh God... I could have died right there and then. I was so tired...

But something caught my eye when I got back to the tarmac. It was Protoss. Four of them, I think they were Zealots. Standing with their light blade thingers at their sides. I had never been this close to a Protoss I could actually see. The gold suits they wore made my eyes hurt when the sun reflected off of them just right. But I just kept staring at them. I wonder if they would believe me if I told them I just killed the guy who had raided their planet.

"Hey fellas. Funny running into you guys all the way out here. Man, I ain't never seen no Protoss before. Guess I thought you guys would all look a little bit more threatening..."

But who was I kidding? I was petrified. The only thing I could do was keep up my nervous chatting with the aliens who were most likely going to stab me to death.

"So how about this weather. Man, dry all the time..."

I nearly ducked and covered when the front two did a side step. I thought they were going to move in and cleave me. But they didn't. They just allowed some Protoss dressed from head to toe in important looking robes forward. Okay, I didn't have know anything, and I would have figured this was the boss. I think they called them... Executors? Or... was it a Templar? Ah hell, I can't remember, and got bigger problems.

"Look, yeah, I was driving around with some crap that belonged to you." I began to rant, losing my cool. "And as much as I would love to give it back, I can't. You see, I was a greedy bastard who loved money, and I got talked into this really dumb job that involved moving around your crystal things. Anyway, I met some cool guys, who ended up getting killed because all these Zerg were on us..."

I paused just to see if I could make out any expression what so ever. But it was the same thing. Protoss weren't very good at expressing emotions obviously. Because they had no mouth or eyebrows or anything descriptive for that matter. Well, cept their skin color and their eyes, but they don't count.

"So yeah, the Zerg picked up your crystals. And I came here cause I thought I'd kill the guy who did this to me before you or the Torrasque monster got around to killing me. So.. yeah... well... I'm.. uh... done... So if it would be okay... could you not stab me with those swords you got there?"

I don't how long I stood there, bleeding and hurting and nervous as hell, before the Templar in front of me turned toward one of his Zealot guys and said something I didn't understand. The Zealot gave a nod and walked away. Eventually he came back, and brought Scratch, Crick, and Orange along with him. What the hell!

"So, what'd he say?" Crick asked the Templar.

"It was as you Terrans said." The Templar began. "Easily excitable."

"Oh yeah?" Orange asked.

"He also confirms your story."

"Hey!" I interrupted, something I would normally never do if it weren't for this #$ed up day. "What the hell is going on!"

"Perhaps you would like to explain." The Templar offered.

"Don't mind if we do." Crick nodded.

Those three guys I thought were dead walked up to me and gave me a whack to confirm what my senses were telling me.

"You guys... you guys.. were covered by Zerg!" I stuttered.

"Yeah well, we drove a couple more miles before that piece of junk truck crapped out on us. We were shooting the hell out of every Zerg that tried to get in the cab, while the Torrasque rolled us around like a cement mixer."

"Eventually, we ran into our new friends. The Toss over here." Orange pointed out. "They really kicked the shit out of the Torrasque, when proceeded to wax every other Zerg in the area. We thought they were going to kill us too. Good for us we were out of ammo, so couldn't shoot even if we wanted to. So instead of killing us, they took us in."

"We had some words with the Toss guys and told them about Derringer and the truck. They didn't really believe us at the time. They wanted us to stand trial. Then... well... they came here to arrest you too."

I don't see how that cleared all this up...

"You ever heard of Observers Raleigh?" Scratch began. "They had one on your ass the whole time. And you can imagine their surprise when they overheard your conversation with Derringer."

"Holy shit!" I said. "They heard all of that? Then... we're... we're..."

"Off the hook." Crick grinned.

"Shit yeah!" I yelled in the loudest voice I could muster.

Of course, then I recoiled in pain when my wounds flared up again. Oh god... Derringer had really kicked my ass...

"Least you ain't dead." Scratch said again, seemingly to himself.

"At any rate, you Terrans may do what you wish." The Templar explained. "The Protoss no longer have any interest with this planet or its inhabitants."

And then just like that, they disappeared. There was this big whirlpool thing that appeared on top of them before they went bye-bye. Later, I had it explained to me that it was something called Recall... or whatever... So, the Toss were gone. And as far as the Zerg went, they took off after their Torrasque thing was dead. They either went back to Char, or went after the Protoss. But I would never know, or... well... I guess I did care now.

That week after all of this shit went by in a snap. I guess cause I spent most of the time in a first aid station with a nice Medic named Loraine. Oh yeah, that reminds me. The Kel-Morian guys were gone the minute they heard the Toss were coming. Every one of their guys pulled out of that town during the moment when Derringer and I had some words and fists with each other on the Starport. So, Anchor Rock was asshole free. Well, maybe not completely asshole free. There was Crick...

But in all seriousness. I became pretty close friends with Crick, Orange, and even Scratch. ... Okay, I was lying about Scratch. And even if I was his friend, I'd never know with his silent treatment. We almost binged on alcohol in the Defiler Lounge talking about the whole thing. From the truck to the desert, to the mine to the canyon and to Anchor Rock. We had outrun the most brutal Zerg in the sector! Hell, I bet most people couldn't do that if they tried! Well, hell, before I get too big of a head. I have to mention the Protoss... and how insignificant we were when stacked up against the Zerg Swarm...

I guess we weren't exactly the most compelling enemy to take down either...

Oh yeah. What happened to Fahren you say? I think the Toss told Crick and them that Fahren's guys left the planet the minute they caught wind of the Torrasque. I guess even that paranoid weirdo had limits when it came to getting a job done... Thank god. I hope he doesn't come back one day and go off on me for everything... Of course, he probably already forgot about me... But... Enough about all that crap from before...

It was about a week after the Toss came and got their crystal stuff. Crick, Orange, Scratch, and I were all having a little drink, again. They had begun to talk about getting off of Arid Col. And I thought we were getting to that moment when I could finally get back to being a nobody...

"Hell yeah, I'm ready to go." Orange was saying.

"Okay, we'll have to see how much credits we got. I'm sure a Dropship out of this dump is pretty costly. Specially after the Toss and Zerg paid a visit."

"Shouldn't be a problem. Three seats are pretty easy to grab."

Crick finished his beer and shot a strange glance at Orange.

"No, we're gonna need four seats this time."

Huh?

"No way, you want to take Raleigh along with us?"

"Come on. What do you guys think? He's a strange little good luck charm right?"

I was just staring at them as they slowly nodded their heads, and really got into the idea of bringing me along.

"You guys are kidding right?" I said.

"He'd have to agree to it of course." Scratch stated.

"Well?"

Now all eyes were on me. I couldn't believe it.

"Hell yeah, let's get off this piece of shit. I wanna see the sector!"

We began to talk about where to go at that point. But I wasn't really into it. I was already thinking about all those places I heard in all those stories. I wonder if the Zerg really did have a good as grasp as it sounded like. Course, you'd think meeting the Zerg once would be enough for me. But it really was never the same again after they tried to kill me. Almost felt invincible and needed a reality check. Well, I had a feeling I wouldn't get that on Arid Col anymore. I had to go out there, out into the rest of the Koprulu Sector.

"Hey hey hey." Crick said, to calm us down. "There's just one more thing we gotta do."

He turned to me and shot this curious glance.

"It's been bugging me for about, forever now. What is up with your name man?"

I sighed. I was wondering when they'd get around to that...

"Do you guys know how many Billy Joe Bobs there are in the Terran Dominion?"

-End of Story

--Thanks for Reading!