Milliways – The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
The cab drew up alongside a gleaming black limoship, Arthur and Random stepped out on the platform. Arthur lent through the front window and thanked Slartibartfast, he led Random to a large transparent tube. They floated gently upwards to the moving catwalk that traversed across the huge car-park. They walked past a long concrete wall, with over fifty doors, providing lavatory facilities for the fifty major lifeforms. At the end of the wall was a large collection of Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Happy Vertical People Transporters.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say on the subject of Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Happy Vertical People Transporters.
Take the stairs.
"Hello, I am to be your elevator to the entrance to Milliways, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe. I've been designed to take you, patron of The Restaurant at the End of the Universe to the dining room and bar. Your service shall be swift and pleasurable." The elevator simpered, it's voice oozing with sweetness.
"Er, Hello." Arthur was still unable to get used to the talking objects manufactured by the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.
"We want to go up now please." Random, who had had much more experience in these things than her father, immediately took an authoritarian tone. "Just up, and you don't need to talk to us; we can provide our own conversation."
"Good afternoon, Sir, Miss. Do you have a reservation?" A very tall muddy orange waiter appeared at the doors to the bar ahead of them."No, but can we get a table?" Arthur looked uneasily at the mottled orange skin.
"Of course, follow me, or would you like a drink first?"
Arthur went to the bar and bought a jynnan tonnyx and a Wodalk fruit juice.
The waiter looking scornfully at Arthur's buttered trousers led them to the giant dome in the centre of the restaurant complex. It sparkled and shimmered, it glittered and gleamed; every possible surface was covered in jewels, shells, tiles, gold leaf and glitter. Random gaped open mouthed at the sight in front of her, nothing anyone could have told her would have prepared her for this, if this was just the setting what was the show like?
Arthur spotted two heads with an explosion of fair hair, four electric blue eyes and three arms waving in the air, and hid behind a table.
"Monkey man! Zappo!" it was too late, Zaphod Beeblebrox sauntered over too them, lowering his voice he stared at Random, "isn't she a bit young for you?"
"Zaphod," Arthur cleared his voice loudly, "meet my daughter, Random, Random this is Zaphod Beeblebrox, a...a friend of mine."
Zaphod tried, and failed to do a sort three-handed handshake with Random instead he just winked cheekily,
"Well you're the last person I'd expect to meet here, where did you get to man?"
"It's a long story, and one I'd rather keep to myself, thank you very much." Arthur blinked to dissolve the image of Fenchurch in his mind.
"Well ,come and join our little group, and we can have a long chat." Leaving the confused waiter behind, Zaphod led them to a table near the middle of the room. Seated on one side was a short reptiliod in a tailed coat and top hat, next to him was a member of the same species, but obviously a female because of her voluptuous Santraginean fish scale dress. On the opposite side was a woman with large breasts falling out of far too revealing top, her face perfect (Frastran Dust Foundation no. 8), her eyelashes long and fluttering, her cheeks rosy red, and her lips large and sumptuous.
She very much reminded Arthur of a hooker, and also of three women he had met before when the Heart of Gold had landed on a planet which happened to have a large statue of himself dominating the skyline. The people on the planet happened to have been possessed by the urge to keep buying new shoes, to the extent that they evolved wings and left the torment of shoes forever. It was on this planet that Arthur Dent had met three archaeologists, all exactly the same. They were clones.
An escort agency had decided to clone six copies of a very attractive, talented young woman called Lintilla, unfortunately the cloning machine malfunctioned and started to created the next Lintilla whilst it was still halfway through creating the previous one. This meant that turning the cloning machine off would result in murder. When the problem was eventually solved (in a way that is not appropriate to mention) there were over 580 000 million Lintilla's.
This was a Lintilla obviously in her original job, and boy did Zaphod know this. Arthur put his hands over Random's eyes as Zaphod made use of his three arms.
A/N: quite short, sorry, I am still thinking of future plots so bear with me, any ideas welcome...
