Discalimer: This is all JK Rowling's world!!!

Courage.

It's such a small word. You would think that it wouldn't be able to have too much of an impact on a person's life. But, for me, it is like cursing me to Hell and back. I hate the word. I know, it's just a word. Really rather insignificant, if you think about it. But it has so much more meaning than just a bunch of letters put together.

Ever since my first year at school, my life has been mocked because of this one stupid word. I know that I don't look and act as brave as the others. I know that I seem like a coward. Sometimes I think that I am. How can anyone understand? They don't see anything except for poor, scared Neville.

I have a right to be scared. I know what it's like. None of them know, not really. Sometimes I think that Harry might know, but he always ends up just like the others. He pities me. I can see it in his eyes. I can see it when Snape is busy yelling at me in potions. People think I do horribly in potions because of Snape. They are all wrong. I do horrible in potions because I am horrible at the subject. Who cares if I can't brew the Draught of the Living Death? Why would I ever need that? When would I ever need a potion that I couldn't just go to the Apothecary and buy.

I would never go to St. Mungo's. The medi-witches and wizards are incompetent. They don't know what they are doing and they can't really heal anybody. Not when it matters. Why couldn't they fix them? Why my parents? Why are they the ones babbling on a hospital bed? How come my parents are the ones who don't even recognize me when I am next to them. Crying over their bed.

I stopped crying a long time ago. It doesn't help the pain. Nothing helps. No matter what I do or say, nothing will ever be able to change the fact that some psycho's decided to torture my parents to the point of insanity!

I am sick of walking down the halls and hearing the girls sigh over how brave Harry Potter is. And how horrible it is that he had to live with muggles. Oh yes, I'm sure it was horrible having to be allowed more human contact than your bitter grandmother, who can't even look at you.

My grandmother can't stand me. I can tell. I could tell for as long as I remember. She never let me do anything, she always talks about my father and how BRAVE he was. My mother, and how selfless she was. How they both had so much courage during the world's most difficult time. Well, if I'm not brave enough for her, it is her fault! I never had a mother to tell me that there were no such things as monsters under my bed. I never had a father to look up to. A dad to teach me how to be a strong man. I learned though. I am strong. I am more strong than anyone gives me credit for. I can stand on my own two feet. I will be able to go out into the real world and not flinch when something goes wrong.

Even Harry has led a sheltered life at Hogwarts. Dumbledore never tells him the more unsavory parts of his adventures. If Harry knows about this, he doesn't care. Prefering to leave the more difficult part of watching your so called friends go in and out of danger over and over again.

That's all I can seem to do. Watch. I have to watch, helplessly as my parents lie in beds. Trapped in the torments of their own minds. I watch as Hermione, Harry, and Ron go off on their own adventures. Never thinking of taking me. They never think that maybe scared, little Neville could ever be of help. I would have been able to, nobody ever wants me too.

That's why I went with them this year. That's why I had to help. I knew that I had what ever Gryffindor must have. I had to have that stupid word. Courage. Oh yes, I had shown courage. I went with them. The rest were all on the floor. Nobody was able to help Harry, except for me. I was there. I saw everything. I showed them all that I had what it takes.

I do have courage. I am strong. I will survive this.

I don't want to be famous. I just want people to stop looking at me and treating me like a first year. I can stand up proud and tall before a death eater. I have proved this. I am not afraid of death. I am not afraid of pain.

There is a war coming. It is inevitable. When the time comes, I will stand next to my friends and help them as best as I can. I will not back down to the fear. Voldemort has done too much to me, I can't let him take over my life more than he already has.

Nothing can bring my parents back to me. But I can stop something like that from ever happening to anyone else. I will do this, with courage.

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