Disclaimer: This is all
from JKR's world!
Courage.
I don't want to have courage. I don't think I even have it. I'm fifteen years
old, how am I supposed to have enough courage to face a Dark Lord. Grown adults
can't even say his name. And they want me to kill him. They want a savior. They
want The-Boy-Who-Lived to become The-Man-Who-Defeated-The-Dark-Lord.
How are they all so sure I can do it? Have they even looked at me? I am just a
skinny boy who is alone now. Sure, I have friends, but I can't let them fight
for me.
That's the difference between me and Voldemort. Voldemort doesn't care who dies for him. He just sits in
his chair, plotting, ordering, torturing. I can still hear the screams. Even
the voices of those who I hate haunt my dreams. Malfoy,
Crabbe, Goyle, MacNair. Nobody deserves to be treated like that. Yet,
somehow, Voldemorts most faithful followers are still
tortured.
It's sick. I want to throw up just thinking about all the people who's lives have been ruined because of that sick man. He
isn't even a man. No, our race will not take credit for the fiend that he has
become. I can think of the ones who are closest to me, offhand. Neville, for one. Poor Neville. How
he goes through life the way he does, I don't know. He deserves better. My
friends deserve not to have to live in fear.
I know that they have to hide now. I know that Hermione and her parents are
going on a vacation all summer because they don't want to be killed. I know
Ron's family is living in Sirius's house because their home is too well known
to the wizarding world. Yes, they are in the Order,
but nobody else in the order lives there, except Professor Lupin,
now. Sirius lived there.
Sirius is gone. That's the first time I really admitted it to myself. Sirius is
probably the one person who deserves happiness, and he wasn't able to find it.
He had to go to Azkaban instead of his friend. A rat who
betrayed them all. He spent twelve years there. He then had to stay on
the run for the rest of his life. His short life. Before he was murdered by a member of his own family. Yes, Bellatrix will pay for what she did to Sirius, as will
Pettigrew. They are up there on my list. Right next to Voldemort.
Voldemort.
It all comes down to him. If Voldemort had never
existed, the world would have been better off. I could have spent my life
happily with my parents. Maybe even had a sibling or two.
Instead, I'm with the Dursley's. Oh yes, I should be
thankful for ALL they do for me. After all, if it weren't for them, I could
have been happy. Probably taller and not so skinny.
Ron doesn't know how lucky he is.
Ron is jealous of me. I know it. He hides it well, most of the time. I know he
wants my fame. He doesn't want a huge family, where he thinks he has to live up
to expectations. Ha. He doesn't know about expectations. He at least has a home
to go to. I have expectations. And now I have to worst expectation of all. I
have to kill or be killed. Murder or be murdered. I've seen a human being have
the life swept away from them. I don't think I can do that.
Not even to Voldemort. How do you stand there, face
to face with someone else, say a few words, then poof.
Their life is over. There is nothing left. Their eyes have to be the worst part
of it. I can still see Cedric's eyes. The horrifying blank
stare that comes with death. I am supposed to do this.
Then I will be a hero. How brave I would be then. Oh yes, killing makes you
brave. That's so easy for some to say. But I know, it
doesn't make you brave. Killing is too easy. Voldemort
kills. He isn't brave. He is a monster. That is the greatest fear I have. I
fear what I will become. I don't want to be a monster. I don't want to be
brave, if that is what is expected of me.
There is nothing I can do about it, though. I have my destiny. I know what I
must do. I know that one day I will have to face it. I can only do that with
courage.
Alright, please r/r!!!! Thanks!!!!
Thank you so much to my reviewers
