Chapter 17 You're all I have left
"This Buffy girl must have meant a lot to you," Katie said a while later.
"She was everything," Angel replied sadly. "I had to get away from her. We couldn't risk turning me back into Angelus again."
Katie sat in silence as she witnessed the quiet anguish momentarily cross her brother's face. "And after I'd been in L.A. for a while feeling sorry for myself, my very existence was turned upside-down by a crazy Irish man, well half-man half-demon named Doyle. He set me on the path I'm on now and gave me a mission to work towards. After he sacrificed himself to save me and many other half-demons from the Scourge, I was determined not to let him die in vain."
Angel went on to describe how Cordelia became involved and several cases they had done. "Ok, you know my story. Now it's your turn," he side with a smirk.
Katie gazed out over the ocean as she began to speak. "As you know, it all started that night you came back home after you died. I don't know how long it was before I woke up and realized that I had changed. I was scared and confused, and was surprised at how little the sight of Mama and Papa disturbed me. All I could think about how hungry I was and how abandoned I felt."
Angel gazed at his sister and lowered his head in shame. I wouldn't have left if I'd known. Even Angelus didn't abandon his little family.
"…so I wandered around Europe during the next century, moved on to Asia for a while and finally decided to reside in Northern Africa for several decades. I stayed there until the Nazis invaded and I was placed in a concentration camp. You wouldn't believe what went on in those hells." Katie's eyes glazed over as her memories came rushing back. "I somehow managed to stay out of the daylight, but once my fellow prisoners found out what I was, they didn't run or fear me. They begged me to feed off of them to put an end to their misery and torment. Imagine that, Angel. People preferred to be killed by a vampire rather than stay alive!"
Angel had heard rumors of similar instances, but never heard anything first hand.
"I finally gathered enough desperate people and even turned a few in order to take out the guards and escape. I found myself on board a cargo ship bound for America. I wandered the streets for a few more decades until the government really started cracking down on us "street kids" and I was taken into the foster system. Try explaining to a few adults that you are highly allergic to the sun, need blood to survive, and were around when their great-great-great-great…you get the idea…grandparents were alive. It didn't go over too well.
"So you killed them?" Angel inquired, remembering the articles Wesley had compiled on her.
"What? No! I ran away," Katie said, shocked. "I mean, yes I did kill people, but I was choosy. I feed off of only those who never cared about anyone and those who threatened me. Yes, I did burn down that Chicago family's home. They kept trying to exorcise me to 'get the demon out'. I tried running away, but they always seemed to find me. They were evil, Angel. I wouldn't have done that if they just left me alone. The police were closing in on me after running away and I was almost caught in the dawn's light. I never killed anyone for no good reason! Never!" She started sobbing. "I'm not a bad person. You have to believe me. I just need help! That's why I came to you. You're all I have left."
Angel reached over and took her hand in his and pulled her closer.
"I don't know what's wrong with me," she continued to sob into his broad comforting shoulder. "I mean, I'm a vampire for Pete's sake! I don't have a soul like you, yet I still feel remorse when I feed off of humans. Every other vampire I've known couldn't care less. What's wrong with me?" Angel felt her small body shake as she cried in his strong embrace. She suddenly seemed so small, young, and vulnerable. She reminded Angel more of his dear sweet Katherine than Katie ever had before.
"Shh," he said quietly as he rocked her back and forth and stroked her silky brunette hair. Katie finally quieted down and Angel tilted her head up to look her in the eyes. "Someone wise- ruthless and evil, but very wise- once told me something that I will never forget. 'What we once were informs all that we have become. The same love will infect our hearts, even if they no longer beat. Simple death won't change that.' Kathy was a very good person. You may not have her soul, but you do have some of her spirit in you, Katie."
"But I've tried to be like her, like the girl I once was, but I never ever could."
"Kathy is dead, just like Liam is dead. Those people, the people we once were, died the night we were turned. Katie and Angel can never be Kathy and Liam. Me, I think I'm a better 'person' now than Liam could ever have been. Kathy was sweet and innocent, but timid and shy. You bring a fiery spirit to those traits and I believe you can do greater good now than Kathy could have," Angel let out a sigh. "I love you. You are my sister and my child. No matter what, I love you, Katherine O'Connor," he choked on his last words as he fought back his own tears that threatened to join those of Katie.
"I know," she whispered. After a few minutes of silence, she composed herself and added, "I haven't been completely forthcoming with you. I met a man named Marcus, a Wolfram & Hart lawyer. I'm part of a big plan to bring you down…"
