With a flop on his bed, a hand in his hair, and a sigh deep in his throat, Craig realizes how off-kilter things are. How dissconnected he feels, how far away he has drifted; lonley thoughts wildly run through his head. He knows he's not one of those Mr. Popularities on MTV - dancing topless and cussing profusely. The very notion of him dancing is enough to spark bitter laughter - he's laughing in spite of himself.

His mind has never been this fabalously on-course thing, like a jigsaw puzzle he could work in a split second. It's much more complex; living without a mother and with a father who would slap you around if you misbehaved. Finding the perfect family in a place he was forbidden to go, finally explaining the dark skeletons of his closet to end up exactly where he's always wanted to be. His father's death came to solve his problems, though with guilt and pain and utmost confusion, nothing was every really settled.

And then he fell in love. Deep, passionate, right love that settled over him like a security blanket. But with his tragic life demeaning every situation, he lost her. It's like a poison that follows him, splotting blackness over the light and understandably happy parts of his life. He had to roam from Ash's incredibly tight leash and found himself deflowered by Manny Santos.

Of course things don't work out, he's Craig Manning and it seems as if the world opposes him. Ashley finds out and she's gone, dissapeared, ripped cruelly from him. Next Manny can't stand the dishonesty and falls from him as well - after he's had such a life, left with nothing. Again.

Being a loner is something he's used to, in this sad way. Wake up, go to school, come home. Eat, don't talk, avoid eye contact. He's a sinner in the social world and a leper in the caf, dismally alone. The girls give him dark eyes and the guys are sympathetic. He wonders when it is their sympathy ends and their companionship starts, but doesn't like to think about that because the probable answer won't help his pessimism.

But while his head is empty of his own social life, it's littered with that of the unseen. Photography, a passion, has taught him to see the hidden and unveil the masked. So a camera flashes and the background is exposed; people revealed with the shutter of a lens. He slinks in the shadows undetected and learns the secrets of Degrassi.

Believing what he sees is sometimes hard -- JT Yorke and Emma Nelson, in the janitor's closet? Paige Mickalchuck, the master hypocrite as she looses herself one more time? Jimmy Brooks, cheating on Hazel Aden? Social scandals which if discovered could rip the fabrics of the people, kept within the scattered caverns of his own brain. He could even be returned to a strong pillar of the populars, knowing as much as he knows.

The sadness of it all is there's no one to tell. And he doesn't take it very seriously, takes the scenes in with half-closed eyes, filing them into the cabinets within his brain. Watch out for me, Craig mocks himself, I know all your secrets. Sarcasm may be all he has left, even being the know-all of the drama. Watch your back, I could be watching you! He thinks a cackle would be fitting here, like the Wicked Witch of the West. He's not really up for it, though, because in his mind he's already pretty damn evil. That's why he considers himself to be alone, it's all self-inflicted.

He rolls over on his stomach, cushioning his chin on his pillows. Way to be, Manning.


Author's note: oh, wow, this is officially really very random. I'm not a Craig fan (um, ew, dishonesty is not well-condoned by me) and I don't even know what inspired this. Joe's Ray bans? George? Man, I don't even wanna think about it. This was really jumbled, too... gosh. So, don't be so mean on your reviews. Please? And for more info on the secrets Craig sees, check out my other Degrassifics.

Review, please?