D.W. sat at the kitchen table, staring distastefully at the plate of spinach
salad that lay before her. She felt like the Earth had left its orbit and was
plunging towards the sun, but it was only Quinn's impatient, unblinking glare.
"Neither of us is leaving this table until you eat your spinach," the duck girl told D.W.
"This is a violation of my rights," said D.W. indignantly. "I want a lawyer."
"My dad's a lawyer," said Quinn. "I'll call him over, as soon as you eat your spinach."
Neither girl moved or looked away from the other for what seemed like hours. D.W. fantasized about jumping from her chair and making a break for it...
She flew through the front door, the spindly-legged babysitter in hot pursuit. Before she reached the sidewalk, she discovered with horror that the street was full of strange-looking people with green faces and spinach leaves growing out of their heads. Tommy, Timmy, and Miss Cosma were among them, as well as Francine, Buster, Alan, and their parents. All in all, hundreds of zombie-like spinach people were wandering aimlessly around the neighborhood, occasionally running into each other or falling down gutters.
"Duh...duh...duh..." they chanted in unison.
D.W. stopped cold, too terrified to move. She noticed that it was no longer winter, but the middle of summer, and the sun had changed into a gigantic ball of green-glowing spinach. She heard a sound to her right, looked over, and saw that Pal had become a little green dog with spinach sprouts for fur. "Arf...arf...arf..." he droned.
Then the most awful thing happened. All of the spinach-heads in the street turned, pointed at D.W., and emitted high-pitched alien noises from their throats. As they began to converge on her position, she stepped backwards toward the house...only to bump into Quinn, who was now a spinach person as well.
"You will assimilate the spinach," Quinn ordered, pulling a piece of spinach from her spiky green hair. "Resistance is futile."
Screaming with fright, D.W. bolted away from Quinn, and noticed as she ran through the yard that all the blades of grass were now curled spinach leaves.
She only covered a few yards before slamming into the green-faced Nadine, who quickly rose to her feet and pulled a chunk of spinach from her tail. "You are the last human on Earth," she said in a monotone, holding the spinach in front of D.W. "Have some spinach. It's yummy."
"No! No!" cried D.W. "Get it away from me!"
"How about a nice peanut butter and jelly sandwich?" asked spinach-head Mrs. Read, who was standing over D.W. with a sandwich in her hand.
"Okay," said D.W., temporarily forgetting her fear. She grabbed the sandwich from her mother's hand, took a bite, chewed, and swallowed. Then she felt a strange sensation throughout her body...
"Oh, no!" she exclaimed. "The sandwich has spinach in it!" She dropped the sandwich and looked anxiously at her hands. "Skin...turning green... Brain...shrinking... Urge...to...say...duh...growing...stronger..."
"No! I must fight it! I won't lose Earth to the spinach-heads!" D.W. ranted. She was sitting in her chair again, as Quinn, whose flesh had returned to normal, watched her from across the table.
"Come on, it's only a little spinach," said the duck girl. "It won't kill you."
"Then why don't you eat some?" D.W. challenged her.
"Okay, I will." Quinn reached across the table and picked up a leaf of spinach from D.W.'s plate.
"No!" D.W. slapped Quinn's hand, knocking the green weed from it.
"Come on, Winnie." Quinn slowly retracted her hand. "The sooner you eat your spinach, the sooner you can go play with Arthur."
In the living room, Arthur sat on the couch with a deck of large cards in his hands. "Your best friend tells you that a valuable treasure is buried in your yard," he read from the topmost card. "Your mother is away shopping. Do you: (a) grab a shovel and start digging everywhere, (b) dig a little hole and hope your mother won't notice, (c) wait until your mother gets home and ask her if you can dig, (d) do the Hokey Pokey?"
As he struggled with this moral dilemma, he heard the doorbell ring. "I'll get it," Quinn called out. As she left the table to answer the door, D.W. grabbed the spinach from her plate and stuffed it into her blouse pocket.
Quinn looked down and saw standing before her a girl whose appearance gave new meaning to the scripture, "The very hairs of your head are numbered".
"Hi, is Adil home?" asked Jenna.
"Yes, he is," Quinn replied. "Come in."
"Hi, Jenna," Arthur greeted the cat girl as she strolled into the living room, yanked off her turquoise jacket, and laid it over a chair. "Adil's in the guest bedroom."
"Who's the dork...I mean, duck?" Jenna asked him.
"That's Quinn, our babysitter," Arthur answered. "Be nice to her, or you may never see the light of day again."
Jenna found the guest bedroom door partially open, and slipped through. She found Adil sitting on the bed, reading a book entitled ENGLISH FOR ALIENS AND STRANGE PEOPLE.
"Jenna!" he cried joyfully when he saw her.
"Hi, Adil." Jenna seated herself on the corner of the bed. "Are you learning a lot of English from your book?"
Adil nodded. "English is very hard. Some words, there are two ways to say them."
"Like what?"
"Like read and read. I say 'I red a book' if it is in the past, but I say 'I reed a book' if it is in the present. It is very confusing."
"Yeah, it's crazy." Jenna glanced over the page that Adil was reading, which dealt with verb conjugation. "And there are words that sound the same, but are spelled differently."
"English is hard, but it is beautiful," said Adil, smiling. "Like you."
Jenna giggled bashfully as Adil gazed at her with an expression of total sincerity. Then she became serious. "Adil, do you...do you really think I'm beautiful?"
"Yes," Adil replied. "You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."
"All the other kids think I'm ugly," Jenna lamented. "They say I need a nose job."
"You have a beautiful nose," Adil complemented her. "It is a small nose. Fern has a big fat nose. Her face is all nose. She is not beautiful."
Jenna patted her nose. "I guess I can call off the appointment with the rhinologist," she said with relief.
Adil laid down his book. "I would like to kiss your nose," he told Jenna. "May I please kiss your nose?"
Jenna suddenly felt as if several thousand volts of electricity were coursing through her body. It was a terrifying sensation, though pleasant at the same time.
Her gaping mouth slowly curved into a smile. "Um...uh...yes," she stammered. "Yes, you can kiss my nose."
Adil began to lean forward, when the two children heard a sound of a throat clearing from the doorway. "Hem, hem." Quinn, the babysitter, was leaning against the door frame, her arms folded. Adil and Jenna quickly pulled away from each other.
"Rule number eight," Quinn informed them. "No kissing."
(To be continued...)
"Neither of us is leaving this table until you eat your spinach," the duck girl told D.W.
"This is a violation of my rights," said D.W. indignantly. "I want a lawyer."
"My dad's a lawyer," said Quinn. "I'll call him over, as soon as you eat your spinach."
Neither girl moved or looked away from the other for what seemed like hours. D.W. fantasized about jumping from her chair and making a break for it...
She flew through the front door, the spindly-legged babysitter in hot pursuit. Before she reached the sidewalk, she discovered with horror that the street was full of strange-looking people with green faces and spinach leaves growing out of their heads. Tommy, Timmy, and Miss Cosma were among them, as well as Francine, Buster, Alan, and their parents. All in all, hundreds of zombie-like spinach people were wandering aimlessly around the neighborhood, occasionally running into each other or falling down gutters.
"Duh...duh...duh..." they chanted in unison.
D.W. stopped cold, too terrified to move. She noticed that it was no longer winter, but the middle of summer, and the sun had changed into a gigantic ball of green-glowing spinach. She heard a sound to her right, looked over, and saw that Pal had become a little green dog with spinach sprouts for fur. "Arf...arf...arf..." he droned.
Then the most awful thing happened. All of the spinach-heads in the street turned, pointed at D.W., and emitted high-pitched alien noises from their throats. As they began to converge on her position, she stepped backwards toward the house...only to bump into Quinn, who was now a spinach person as well.
"You will assimilate the spinach," Quinn ordered, pulling a piece of spinach from her spiky green hair. "Resistance is futile."
Screaming with fright, D.W. bolted away from Quinn, and noticed as she ran through the yard that all the blades of grass were now curled spinach leaves.
She only covered a few yards before slamming into the green-faced Nadine, who quickly rose to her feet and pulled a chunk of spinach from her tail. "You are the last human on Earth," she said in a monotone, holding the spinach in front of D.W. "Have some spinach. It's yummy."
"No! No!" cried D.W. "Get it away from me!"
"How about a nice peanut butter and jelly sandwich?" asked spinach-head Mrs. Read, who was standing over D.W. with a sandwich in her hand.
"Okay," said D.W., temporarily forgetting her fear. She grabbed the sandwich from her mother's hand, took a bite, chewed, and swallowed. Then she felt a strange sensation throughout her body...
"Oh, no!" she exclaimed. "The sandwich has spinach in it!" She dropped the sandwich and looked anxiously at her hands. "Skin...turning green... Brain...shrinking... Urge...to...say...duh...growing...stronger..."
"No! I must fight it! I won't lose Earth to the spinach-heads!" D.W. ranted. She was sitting in her chair again, as Quinn, whose flesh had returned to normal, watched her from across the table.
"Come on, it's only a little spinach," said the duck girl. "It won't kill you."
"Then why don't you eat some?" D.W. challenged her.
"Okay, I will." Quinn reached across the table and picked up a leaf of spinach from D.W.'s plate.
"No!" D.W. slapped Quinn's hand, knocking the green weed from it.
"Come on, Winnie." Quinn slowly retracted her hand. "The sooner you eat your spinach, the sooner you can go play with Arthur."
In the living room, Arthur sat on the couch with a deck of large cards in his hands. "Your best friend tells you that a valuable treasure is buried in your yard," he read from the topmost card. "Your mother is away shopping. Do you: (a) grab a shovel and start digging everywhere, (b) dig a little hole and hope your mother won't notice, (c) wait until your mother gets home and ask her if you can dig, (d) do the Hokey Pokey?"
As he struggled with this moral dilemma, he heard the doorbell ring. "I'll get it," Quinn called out. As she left the table to answer the door, D.W. grabbed the spinach from her plate and stuffed it into her blouse pocket.
Quinn looked down and saw standing before her a girl whose appearance gave new meaning to the scripture, "The very hairs of your head are numbered".
"Hi, is Adil home?" asked Jenna.
"Yes, he is," Quinn replied. "Come in."
"Hi, Jenna," Arthur greeted the cat girl as she strolled into the living room, yanked off her turquoise jacket, and laid it over a chair. "Adil's in the guest bedroom."
"Who's the dork...I mean, duck?" Jenna asked him.
"That's Quinn, our babysitter," Arthur answered. "Be nice to her, or you may never see the light of day again."
Jenna found the guest bedroom door partially open, and slipped through. She found Adil sitting on the bed, reading a book entitled ENGLISH FOR ALIENS AND STRANGE PEOPLE.
"Jenna!" he cried joyfully when he saw her.
"Hi, Adil." Jenna seated herself on the corner of the bed. "Are you learning a lot of English from your book?"
Adil nodded. "English is very hard. Some words, there are two ways to say them."
"Like what?"
"Like read and read. I say 'I red a book' if it is in the past, but I say 'I reed a book' if it is in the present. It is very confusing."
"Yeah, it's crazy." Jenna glanced over the page that Adil was reading, which dealt with verb conjugation. "And there are words that sound the same, but are spelled differently."
"English is hard, but it is beautiful," said Adil, smiling. "Like you."
Jenna giggled bashfully as Adil gazed at her with an expression of total sincerity. Then she became serious. "Adil, do you...do you really think I'm beautiful?"
"Yes," Adil replied. "You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."
"All the other kids think I'm ugly," Jenna lamented. "They say I need a nose job."
"You have a beautiful nose," Adil complemented her. "It is a small nose. Fern has a big fat nose. Her face is all nose. She is not beautiful."
Jenna patted her nose. "I guess I can call off the appointment with the rhinologist," she said with relief.
Adil laid down his book. "I would like to kiss your nose," he told Jenna. "May I please kiss your nose?"
Jenna suddenly felt as if several thousand volts of electricity were coursing through her body. It was a terrifying sensation, though pleasant at the same time.
Her gaping mouth slowly curved into a smile. "Um...uh...yes," she stammered. "Yes, you can kiss my nose."
Adil began to lean forward, when the two children heard a sound of a throat clearing from the doorway. "Hem, hem." Quinn, the babysitter, was leaning against the door frame, her arms folded. Adil and Jenna quickly pulled away from each other.
"Rule number eight," Quinn informed them. "No kissing."
(To be continued...)
