Doushite

Chapter 5 – Forget Destiny

A soft rain started, like it was made just for him and his heart, ending the perfect and ill scenery surrounding the god.

Loki walked slowly, his eyes downcast, not seeing the streets straight ahead. His feet walked alone, knowing the way home, independent from the dreary thoughts of who they carried. It was enough to come home.

There wasn't any space inside his head for thoughts.

Her remaining taste passed through his skin, so deeply...

There was so much HER in him, robbing his reason, letting his mind become so weak and surrounded, opening a way for him to forget himself, just there, in her last look at him.

Suddenly, a door appeared.

He blinked, slowed down, and asked himself what he should do about a closed door. Maybe, open it? He took the blot, turning it around, half-opening that great door, so quiet and passive, like a mouth half-open. He hesitatively entered.

The kiss... his month invading hers...

He became paralyzed for a moment.

How couldn't a God think? That stormy inside of feelings was stealing his mind...

"Daddy!"

A well known voice... He stared at the puppy dog happily. Soon another person became clear to him, smiling.

"Loki-sama, we were so worried! You didn't tell us you'd be late."

"HA! But I knew Daddy was going to keep an eye on that 'mystery girl's' date all time!

"I think you're right, onii-san!"

Loki looked at his two sons, so nice. Was he so transparent? Yeah, they knew about Loki's special feeling about Mayura, it was because of her he decided to stay in the human's world. But, did they know about his passion? ...The desire, the fire in his chest when he was in front of her?

How could he tell them, now? Had he finished anything?

How could he tell them that he had scared her so much, because of this clumsy form and his stupid secret?

"Loki-tama..."

Ecchan few around his head.

Loki lowered his eyes, walking in silence to his office, leaving behind him worried and surprised faces.

"Loki-sama!"

Loki didn't turn back to Yamino, he just stopped at the stairs.

"Daddy, what happened?!"

"Tell us, Loki-sama! What did Heimdall do to Mayura-san?!"

"That Freyr! If he did..."

Fenrir purred furiously, thinking about the fertility god's head in his wolf mouth. How dare he...

"It was me."

Fenrir was quiet, looking to his dad, as well as Yamino and Ecchan.

"I lied to her. I fooled Mayura even when... when... I could have told her the truth, and make her trust me!"

"Loki-sama..."

"But now, she doesn't understand! And now... today... I..."

"Daddy?"

The trickster god turned to the dog, smiling with a sad expression. There was some kind of ill in his eyes, something like... tears? Maybe it could have been just tears, if wasn't in chaotic god's eyes. No, it was defeat.

"I was kissed by Mayura..."

The afternoon fell heavy on the sleepy god's eyes. He didn't sleep, he didn't eat. But, he seemed to regain some of his reasoning.

Not as good as he expected.

He observed out the window, passive and resigned. He was sure she wouldn't appear just like nothing had happened. Maybe, in some time, she could come and try to apologize. Hunf! How was that kiss her fault?!

But, he had lied, making himself unknown.

Would be that more comfortable for her? So she wouldn't go away?

The truth, indeed, would be for later. Maybe when he had a more certain idea of what to do with his own feelings...

Ecchan touched his arm, showing the cold tea on the desk. Yamino didn't know what to cook, Loki didn't accept anything.

It's better to leave Loki-sama alone.

Whatever, that wasn't Fenrir idea, who fell sleep on detective's feet.

"Konnichiwa minna!"

The strong voice of Thor entered the house, like a thunder on the silent sea.

"Well, where are minna...? Megane-kun!"

"Hai, Narugami-kun."

The thunder god's stared at the snake suspiciously, intentionally scaring the poor Yamino.

"Where is everyone?"

"Loki-sama is in the office, he's a little tired today... Narugami-kun! Oro!!!"

But Thor didn't stay long enough to hear the snake.

Hey, Loki! Konnichiwa!"

Loki turned away from the window, staring at the visitor.

"Hi, Thor."

"Oro, Mayura-san didn't come?"

"Iie..." Yamino answered.

"Strange, she didn't go to school today either. Is she sick?"

Silence. Loki kept his eyes down muttering, "Maybe."

Thor sat down, making himself a cup of tea.

"Yesterday she seemed fine to me. Just a little anxious perhaps because she was going to have a date. Hunf!" He stared at Loki. "For a moment, I thought that it was with you, Loki-san!"

Loki returned the stare, surprised with the friendship between the girl and the thunder god, and more curious about where Thor was taking the conversation.

"But then she told me that was with Kaitou-kun, or, as we know, Freyr. Because of that I decided to pass here today, just to make sure everything was alright."

"Sou ka" answered Loki, coldly.

"What's wrong, Loki? You know, I know you know! Heimdall again? You wouldn't let Daidoujii be safe for even a second in another god's hand."

Thor accepted Loki's silence, with one of his clumsy smiles.

"Well, if you don't know, you won't if you don't ask..." Loki looked more closely at Thor, asking in his own way what that childish god was trying to say. "I was just curious about how everything ended with the girl. But she isn't here... and you don't seem to know anything... Goddess! I'm already late! Ja ne, Loki! Tell Daidouji that she can't be absent from school tomorrow, I think we're going to have a surprise test! Sayonara!"

As he entered, Thor-san left, in a quick run. Yamino took the cups from the center table, unquiet.

"Yamino-kun... do you...?"

"I was thinking, Loki-sama. Mayura has to be very ashamed to come back here."

"Hai..."

"But, I believe that since she kissed Loki-sama, it's because she has feelings that go out that way, which must be much more difficult for her—even more in the conditions that she knows Loki-sama..."

"You're right, Yamino-kun."

"## Am I?"

"Hai" Loki stood up, more confident. "Arigatou, Yamino-kun." And without another word, he left the room.

"Loki-sama..."

"Hunf. The complex-son finally said something useful..! Now, crick my back, I'm tired!"

"Onii-chan!"

"Hum. I'm already waiting for you."

"Konnichiwa, Daidouji-san."

Loki looked at the man sweeping the temple's entrance, looking back to him with his common suspicious ways.

"It's beginning to get dark. A child like you shouldn't walk all by yourself."

"I came to learn more about Mayura. She didn't go to school."

"She has a fever. And she hasn't left her bedroom since last night..." Mayura's Papa noticed Loki's worried eyes, asking then, "Why I have the feeling you have something with that?"

"I do, Daidouji-san."

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY LITLLE GIRL!?!"

What did I do? He was lost, confused, tired.

He had already lost that game.

Just missing... end the joke.

"Gomenasai" saying that, he closed his lips with all his strength, swearing to himself that he wouldn't scream in pain searing through his body during his transformation.