A/N: For info on this story (ex: when I'll update, notes on the chapters, etc.), go to my author profile link.
If for some reason you're wondering about why Sango got angry at Miroku, this chapter should help.
Chapter Two: To Consume All Remorse
"How come he won't talk, Kagome?" asked a worried Shippo.
"Maybe he finally learned his lesson," Kagome said with disgust mixed in her tone. She glared at the monk, who was sitting on a rock some decently far distance away trying to meditate. The girl sat on a log with Shippo next to her. Kagome's leg wasn't any help towards the group, but she could still walk around a little bit. She still helped with cooking meals and other chores with Keade. There weren't any shikon shard rumors. It was pretty calm for the past week.
"It doesn't look like it, though. Why would he be so depressed looking? And why does he have those injuries."
"Hmmm... I suppose we could consider that."
Inuyasha watched the two contemplating over Miroku from a tree branch. They don't know anything, do they? He snorted.
When Miroku came back, Inuyasha quickly sensed something odd. His aura suggested sorrow... and cold. When Kagome screamed at him, "What did you do to Sango?!", his aura suddenly enflamed, but quickly died down to as it was when he arrived.
The hanyou knew those injuries of his were caused from Sango. And sniffing out her scent, Inuyasha spotted that Miroku didn't even touch her. So Sango gave him those little scrapes, huh? But why the hell would she, if the bouzo didn't do anything perverted like anyone would expect? Inuyasha turned his direction from Shippo and Kagome to Miroku. He could see his eyes were closed, his legs folded, his staff lain on the grass in front of him.
For some reason, Inuyasha jumped from his tree and walked the distance to Miroku. When he reached him, he realized they were pretty far away from Kagome and Shippo. When Miroku noticed Inuyasha's presence, he only ignored it.
He going to pretend I'm not here? Inuyasha thought. "Hey, monk, what did you do to get Sango pissed off at you?" He could always use a laugh.
Miroku's eyes shot open. He looked Inuyasha in the eyes. "Nothing." He couldn't sound any more serious.
Inuyasha knew it was the truth from the way Miroku responded. He decided to go back to his tree, but stopped when surprisingly, Miroku spoke. "My being next to Sango when she woke up startled her, and she punched me." Miroku sighed. "She yelled at me to leave, but when I resisted so I could find out what was wrong, I soon ended up with these injuries." There was a long pause.
"Wow. Who would have guessed? Sango trying to beat the crap out of you?" Inuyasha chuckled.
"Geez. Just when I thought I could have a serious conversation with you." Miroku turned around and continued trying to meditate.
"Okay, okay, I was only joking, Miroku."
The monk didn't react at all. He had so many things lodged on his mind that he needed to sort out.
Man. Why did I even bother? It's his problem, not mine. Inuyasha walked back to his tree, thinking talking to Miroku was pathetic. The hanyou must have grown so desperate for something to do, he actually wanted to talk to Miroku. That was it.
"What were you two talking about over there?" Kagome asked looking at him from below. Shippo, being curious, perked up his ears and looked towards Inuyasha, also.
"The monk was just telling me that he got those bruises of his from Sango when he pissed her off, even though he didn't do anything," he said, his eyes closed and arms crossed.
"You believed him?"
"He was telling the truth." Inuyasha was puzzled. Why would Sango react that way? She could have just slapped the bouzo. Even though he's a lech, he couldn't have done more than grope her. But Inuyasha was starting to doubt that. "Feh." The hanyou didn't want to think about it. He ridded his mind of such.
Kagome and Shippo were wondering around the same thoughts as Inuyasha. This never happened before. What happened?
"Inuyasha, can you please look for her?" Inuyasha could sense her uneasiness.
Geez. It's obvious Sango needs to be alone. The hanyou knew he had no other choice. Most probably Kagome would say that damn word and smash him to the ground if he disagreed, anyway. "You might as well say, 'Find Sango, Inuyasha!'," he replied in a childish tone. Inuyasha leaped from his tree branch with ease and sniffed the air when he landed. He then walked in the direction towards Sango's scent. If she gets all bitchy at me, it's Kagome fault.
Sango slashed forcefully at a tree to her right as she continued to stomp along the dirt trail, heading deeper into the forest.
Damn him!
Sango killed several rabbits already, leaving their bodies on the ground. Hunting wasn't as affective at remedying her anger as she was hoping for. Her hatred refused to mitigate, making her feel worse as she went further through the trees.
I hope that hole in his hand kills him soon. And when it does, I pray its painful.
Sango smirked cruelly, pleased at such thoughts. She slashed at another tree, the animals' blood from her katana leaving a scarlet stripe on the indentation. Her wrath seemed to grow rather than dissipate as her angry thoughts took over her. Sango was unaware of how foul she was becoming. She was unaware of how her bitter hatred was slowly corrupting her. Her soul was steadily growing darker.
I want him to go to hell.
Sango stopped walking. She was afraid. How could she ever be so heinous? No! I don't mean it!
She soon found herself arguing with her conscience.You meant it. All of it.
No, I didn't!
You did. You're furious at him. You want him to suffer in hell.
No! I was overreacting! How could I be so…
Bitchy? That scum tried to rape you while you were asleep. You know I'm right. You were dreaming about Inuyasha, but it was the houshi the whole time. You meant all those heartless things.
No! I never meant any of it! I was just angry! I didn't know what I was thinking!
You want him to die and writhe in pain.
I was just shocked at seeing him when I woke up!
You long for his blood to drip. You want him to suffer from the agony of hell.
No!!
You want to hear his screams of excruciating pain. You want to watch as his body contorts, how his eyes twist in their sockets to the back of his head.
NO!!
Don't be in denial. It's the truth. You meant all of those things. I should know, for I am you.
"YOU'RE NOT!" Sango was starting to get anxious. She yelled out loud, becoming greatly irritated at this annoying conscience of hers.
Sango covered her ears with her hands. All the miserable thoughts, all the anger and fear swelling up inside. The sorrow and the regret. She wanted it to end. She needed all this pain to alleviate.
Sango, stop trying to fight it. I am you. I know what hideous things you think of. I know how dark your soul has become.
STOP IT! I was just shocked! …maybe he didn't even do anything…
Sango didn't want to bear it anymore. She began to cry again.
Oh, so you finally come to your senses?! You KNEW the whole time, but you tried so hard to deny it! You were so angry at him because he wasn't Inuyasha!! You WANTED that dream to be true, but when you saw the houshi, you knew Inuyasha would never love you!! You refused to believe it, but you know your love for him will NEVER be requited!!
Sango dropped her katana; it fell with a soft thud. She let herself descend to the ground. She just didn't want to believe it. She didn't want her love for Inuyasha to be one-sided, but she knew it was the truth. She couldn't change fate. Inuyasha could never love her.
These thoughts left the taijiya distressed. She felt as if she's never see happiness again. Sango could barely remember when her life was actually enjoyable. Losing her family and village all in one day, with the torment of envisioning her brother murdering innocent people on her mind everyday ate at her spirit until it was virtually dispersed.
Joining with Inuyasha and the others was a major breakthrough. They became her friends. She could laugh with them. Sango could really be happy with them.
But that was a long time ago. Just around six months ago, Sango realized she loved the hanyou she's been traveling with for almost two years.
Why did I have to fall in love with him? Sango was sprawled on the ground looking up towards the heavens, but the trees were in the way, so it was basically pointless to look for any sign of sky. It didn't matter, though. The trees were only a blur with the tears flowing from her eyes. The thoughts and feelings causing her all this affliction and ache existed ever since she loved Inuyasha. He was the cause to why Sango was constantly buried under the steadily growing, heavy load of mourning and torment.
Because of this, Sango's soul was continuously becoming more wicked, becoming tainted with more calamity every day. She was slowly evolving into an evil person, and she knew. She started noticing these changes after a month.
But Sango didn't want to become evil. She would be engulfed by terror every once in a while ever since she discovered her startling changes in personality. But five months after discovering it, right now as she lay, Sango would be smothered in fear of becoming someone satanic a little bit more often.
Sango was angry with herself. How could I be so corrupt?! So sinful?! She regretted falling for Inuyasha. She regretted her rash actions towards Miroku. She regretted how jealous she got over Kagome. She regretted it all. Sango wanted to be happy and cheerful again. She was terrified at the thought of converting into someone of hell itself.
She closed her eyes, the tears never ceasing.
