Yu Yu Hakusho Awards Show
-Chapter 3-
What Couple?
I apologize to all the people who got confused over the re-posting of my fic. I tried to put this new chapter up a week ago, but for some reason all the asterisks disappeared! Do you know how hard it would be to have you read this thing without asterisks?!
So for your convenience I pulled the chapter off the fiction, but that put the title back into the update column anyway. It's okay if you're confused. I am too. The point you get it now. Woot.
And just to make things easier, I'm going to change all the asterisks into ::double colons:: now.
Aubrey: ::Gasp:: Can it be??? YES!!! Titles for the chapters!!!
Kurama: Well of course Aubrey-chan, you could have done that for the second chapter too...
Aubrey: You're RIGHT!! ::Looking wistful:: This is so... wonderful...
Kurama: You're so melodramatic...
Disclaimer:
Aubrey: All things Yu Yu belong ::Points:: ANIME-RAVEN!!!
Anime-raven: Wha--??
Aubrey: That's right! You're the lucky owner of the YYH series!
Anime-raven: ::Sees angry lawyers:: How the heck did I get wrapped up in all this?
Aubrey: Well, you were the first to put me on your "Favorites" list and the first to review for the last chapter!
Anime-raven: I get mobbed by angry lawyers just cause I'm FIRST???
Aubrey: Yup!
Anime-raven: ::Scowl:: Okay then... ::Grabs keyboard and mouse:: I'm taking you off my favorites...
Aubrey: What??? Wait a minute!!
Anime-raven: Nope, sorry. Taking you off favorites...
Aubrey: NOO-O!! I'm sorry!! All things related to Yu Yu Hakusho belong to Yoshihiro Togashi!
Aubrey: Welcome back to the Yu Yu Haku-- eh??
::The studio is completely empty::
Aubrey: What?! Where's my audience??? I can't run the show without an audience!! ::Glances about frantically and sees that the Rekkai Tantei are asleep:: NO-O!!!
Hiei: ::Stirs and opens one eye:: All that yelling is obnoxious.
Aubrey: Hiei-kun!! You're alive!! ::Glomps Hiei::
Hiei: ::Gag:: Of course I'm alive, baka!
Krys: ::Races up and hits Aubrey with a fan:: Get offa my Hiei!!!
Aubrey: Owwwww! ::Looks up:: OH!!! A reviewer has returned!! THANK YAMMA!!
Krys: ::Mumbles:: Just stay away from Hiei... ::Sits down::
Aubrey: I'm going to list off the reviewers okies? I can't promise each of you will make a big appearance in my fic, but I can least mention you here.
::Audience immediately returns in hopes of hearing their name::
Aubrey: Uh, okay, we have Anime-raven of course, Miny Mars, Mela, Lefty, netta1029-- new reviewers! Yay! Wait, Lefty you didn't review the first chapter!!
Lefty: FORGIVE ME! DON'T FEED ME TO THE EVIL KINDERGARTEN BRATS!
Aubrey: Wow, you-- uh, don't need to talk in all caps...
Lefty: I'M SORRY!!! I'M ON A SUGAR HIGH AND I CAN'T HELP IT!!!
Kurama: ::Groans and sits up:: What's all that yelling?
Aubrey: Do you know how many rules you're breaking by typing in all caps??? Well actually, there's only one: Don't type in all caps. But still! I may feed you to the kindergartners just for THAT!
Lefty: IF THEY EAT ME EVERYONE WILL BE DOOMED! DOOMED, I TELL YOU!
Aubrey: Doomed?
Lefty: MM-HM! I HAVE A WIFE AND THREE KIDS THAT NEED ME!!
Kurama: ::Sweatdrop:: Really?
Lefty: No.
Aubrey: Well since you finally stopped speaking in capitals I'll let you go...
Lefty: THANK YOU!!!
Aubrey: ::Scowl:: Okay where was I? Oh yes, reviewers. We have netta1029, Lover of the romantic sol, aqua-flames, hiei-the-fliei--
Hiei: Great. So now I have a baka flea named after me.
Aubrey: No! Not flea, "fliei"! You know, "flee-ay?"
Hiei: ::Glares at hiei-the-fliei:: Great, now I have a baka ningen named after me.
Aubrey: Moving on... thank you RoseThorns, Krys, Alexia Black1, Billy the Kangaroo, and foxyboykurama--
Kurama: What?! ANOTHER person's stolen my name?!
Aubrey: Uhhhh, maybe...
Kurama: This is madness!
Aubrey: Pipe down and wake up Yusuke. Thank you Kitsune Kit, I am Kurama, Krys, Pyrinsomniac, GodessofKoorime, Angel Iris, Yu Yu Fan, and Nella! I think that's it...
Yusuke: ::Yawns and stretches:: Ow, my back hurts from sleeping on the stage... ::Grunts::
Aubrey: Oh yeah! And ...:::'''Special Thanks''':::... to the people who've added my onto their favorites or author alert lists! See? I've even dolled up the word "special" to prove it's significance!
Yusuke: ::Cocks an eyebrow:: Significance?
Aubrey: Yeah! Significance! When I see all these nice reviews and people who even put my on their special lists so that they'll remember my I feel all warm and fuzzy inside! ::Smiles cheerfully::
Hiei: Hn. Like you swallowed a cat?
Aubrey: Yeah, like I swall-- HEY!! That wasn't funny!!
Hiei: You're right. It was hilarious.
Aubrey: ::Grabs the fan-of-death and races forward, attempting to beat Hiei mercilessly with it::
::Hiei of course dodges smoothly, reaching for his sword.::
Yukina: ::Blinks a couple of times:: ::Sees Hiei smirking evilly as he draws his katana:: Oh please you guys... don't fight... not now... please... ::whimper:: ::Tears flow off face and bounce around on the ground::
Aubrey: Look you made her cry, Hiei!
Hiei: Wha--?? Me? ::Glares and sheathes sword:: Just read the rest of your damn list.
Kurama: ::Shifty eyes:: ::Begins to sneak tear gems into his pockets::
Aubrey: I'd love too! The ones who put me on their favorites/author alert lists are: anime-raven, Lover of the romantic sol, Alexia Black1, I am Kurama, RoseThorns, foxyboykurama, GoddessofKoorime, and Watakushi-- uh, Watakushiwagi-- ummmm...
Yusuke: Oh Yamma, what is it now???
Aubrey: This name!! It's so long and Japanese-ish! I used to think names like "Kuwabara" and "Urameshi" were long, but this is... this is really really long!!
Kurama: It can't possibly be that long ::Strides over:: ::Snatches away notecard:: Let's see: Wataku-- Watakushiwagi-- Wa-ta-ku-shi-wa-gin-no-ki-tsu-ne-ai-su-ru...
Yusuke: That's their name?
Hiei: I don't think even a demon could remember all that.
Aubrey: I don't even speak Japanese! ::Pouts:: But thank you anyway Wataku-whatever.
Yukina: ::Searches the floor:: What happened to my tear gems?
Kurama: ::Whistles innocently::
Botan: ::Bounces up:: You shouldn't be so rude to your reviewers you know, they just might abandon you.
Kuwabara: ::Snorts and awakens:: Hey, uh, what'd I miss?
Yusuke: Not much. Just the thank you's.
Kuwabara: Oh okay. ::Picks nose::
Keiko: Ewwww... that's so gross Kuwabara!
Kuwabara: Treat me with more respect! I've just had an "awakening!"
Aubrey: ::Is kicking herself for using that word::
Yukina: Um, Aubrey-chan? What are you doing?
Aubrey: Well I was TRYING to kick myself, but it's becoming increasingly difficult...
Yukina: ::Sweatdrop::
Koenma: Hey Aubrey! Didn't you promise us the results from that last category??
Aubrey: Oh yeah! I did say something like that, ne? Well maybe I'll added it in the next chapter.
::Audience grabs their lynching ropes and torches::
Aubrey: KIDDING!! ::Sweatdropping profusely:: I'm kidding, okay, gosh!
Hiei: ::Scowls:: Damn, I was going to enjoy that.
Aubrey: All right, the polls were closed the votes were counted and the winners for the cutest couple are -- drum roll please -- ::pauses for a moment just to frustrate her readers::
GENKAI AND SHISHI WAKAMARU!!!
::Long empty silence:: ::Crickets chirping::
Koenma: They weren't even candidates.
Aubrey: Well now they are!!
Botan: What?! You can't do that!
Aubrey: Of course I can! I'm the authoress! I can do whatever I damn well please!
Kurama: Including using the word "authoress?" It's not even a real word according to the spell checker.
Aubrey: Yes that's right! And I can do this too! ::Giant portal appears:: ::Reaches in and pulls out a certain pink haired old woman and a hot samurai guy with blue hair::
Genkai: ::Glances about looking disoriented:: Dammit, what's going on? I was just enjoying my afterlife when--
Yusuke: GENKAI!!! You're back!
Genkai: Oh, it's you. Stupid apprentice, are you the one who dragged me back here to earth? Or was it you Botan?
Botan: No, it's that spastic girl over there. ::Points::
Aubrey: YO!!!! ::Waves enthusiastically::
Genkai: Could it be? Someone more obnoxious than my stupid apprentice?
Yusuke: Dangit Genkai, I have a name you know.
Shishi: What? Where am I? What's going on??? ::Sees the audience of fangirlz:: ::Quickly changes demeanor and makes a sweeping bow:: Oh hello ladies. ::Sweeps hair back dramatically:: Can I help you?
Aubrey: ::Pulls back on Shishi's collar:: Sorry Shishi, you're no longer single!
Shishi: What th-- I'm not???
Aubrey: Nope! You've been officially paired with your one true love, Genkai!
Genkai: What?!
Shishi: What?! But I only liked her when she was young and pretty!
Genkai: ::Eye twitches:: And he's an asshole! Besides, aren't we dead??
Aubrey: You were... but thanks to my amazing authorezz skillz, I've brought you back so that you can win this Cutest Couple competition!
Kurama: Will you please stop putting "Z" instead of "S"?
Aubrey: ::Ignores Kurama:: So you win a romantic getaway to--
Genkai: Look, I don't want to be coupled cutely, and I don't want any getaway's unless it's back to the Rekkai. So take me back, dammit.
Shishi: I usually don't hit girls, but for you... ::Draws evil sword:: I suppose I'll make an exception.
Aubrey: Oh c'mon you don't want to do that...
Hiei: No, I think they really do.
Shishi: SHI NE!!!! ::Slice hack slash::((For those of you who don't have any l337 Japanese speaking skillz, that translates to "die".))
Aubrey: ACK!! ACK!! HELP!! HE'S KILLING ME!!!
Koenma: I think that was his objective there, Aubrey.
Aubrey: Okay okay fine! ::Sends Shishi and Genkai back to heaven or hell or whatever.::
Kuwabara: So... who's the winner?
Aubrey: ::Bandaging sword wounds:: Winner?
Koenma: Yeah, winner. It wasn't those two was it?
Aubrey: No way. I just summoned them to make my readers laugh. You laughed, right?
::Audience glares angrily at Aubrey::
RoseThorns: Give us the results already, slacker!!
Aubrey: ::Timidly:: But are you sure you really want to hear them?
Audience: YES!!!
Aubrey: R-really?
Audience: ::Grabs large heavy rocks::
Aubrey: Okay okay okay okay okay!! The real winner of the Cutest Couple competition is --
Hiei and Kurama!!!
::Aubrey hides under her desk and whimpers::
Kurama: You've got to be kiddi--
Hiei: That's it someone dies.
Yusuke: No no, that's not necessary. ::Points to audience::
Miny Mars: DEATH TO YAOI LOVING FANGIRLS!!!
::Fangirls run and scream as Miny Mars swings around a very heavy and very sharp looking sword::
Yusuke: Aubrey, this had better not be another joke!!
Aubrey: Do you really think I'd want to start such pandemonium?
Keiko: Yes. And why haven't I said anything for 66 lines??? Nobody appreciates me!
Kuwabara: ::Shaking Aubrey:: There must be some mistake!
Aubrey: No there's no mistake! ::Pulls down giant bar graph:: Here's the breakdown:
Hiei x Kurama : 7 votes
Yusuke x Keiko : 4 votes
Koenma x Botan : 3 votes
Kuwabara x Yukina : 1 vote
Aubrey: And then there was some that weren't even on the list such as Kurama x Botan, Kuwabara x Botan, and Yusuke x Hiei!!
Yusuke: What the he--?! I'm the straightest damn guy here!! How the heck did I get paired up with Hiei?!?!
Hiei: Why am I being passed around between all the guys? I'm not gay in any way, shape, or form!
Kurama: Me and Botan? But I hardly know Botan, let alone--
Kuwabara: I know I had a crush on Botan earlier, but now I have a much better girlfriend!
Botan: What's up with sticking me with everyone, ne? I like Koenma oka-- ::Stops short and blushes:: ::Looks angry and hits Aubrey with her oar::
Aubrey: It wasn't me it wasn't me! It's the reviewers fault blame them!!
Koenma: Aubrey, there doesn't seem to be much of an audience left...
::Reviewers are all attacking each other with their weapons of choice::
Yukina: All that violence... it's so... sad!! Waaahhhh!! ::Cries again and tears bounce around on the floor:: Make them stop!!
Keiko: It's okay, Yukina, it's okay...
Kurama: ::Puts more tear gems in his pocket when no one's looking::
Aubrey: ::Grabs chalkboard in one hand and microphone in the other:: Stop it you guys!! ::Scrapes nails against the chalkboard::
::Audience immediately drops their weapons, covering their ears::
Aubrey: Thank you. So Hiei and Kurama win. Nothing I can do about it. So what do you guys have to say? ::Hands microphone to Kurama::
Kurama: Normally I would go on some out-of-character killing spree, but I'm taking it in stride. After going online I've realized that this isn't to uncommon... as terribly ridiculous and wrong it is.
Aubrey: Hiei what do you have to say?
Hiei: [[The following phrase has been cut out due to the profanity being too strong for a PG rated fanfiction.]]
Everyone: Oo
Aubrey: ::Cough:: Thank you for your thoughts Hiei... ::A bit wierded out::
So what did you think? Good? Bad? Tell me in your reviews! I'm also needing some more category ideas so if you could help with that it would be great!! Thank you thank you thank you! ::Bows::
