Another chapter by yours truly... (Narrows eyes) I'll expect some reviews... Or maybe some candy.... Yeah, how about just the candy?

Vampires: Episode 2: Purple Bat Down

Location:

...

Vampire Base (aka: That fat ass mansion that sticks out like a sore thumb in the middle of a low class suburb): Very rich and extravagant. But seriously, sticks out like a sore thumb! If it weren't for all the money those friggin Vampires have, the Home Owners Association might have done something...

In the main living room, there is only one woman in view, she is wearing fancy Blood Red clothing and sipping fine Champaign(mixed with blood).

Maxwell: (Comes into the room, looks around awkwardly). Um, excuse me?

Claire: (sipping Champaign on a fancy couch) Yes darling?

Maxwell: Er... I am Maxwell DeVegga. I was sent here to replace your previous commander.

Claire: (blink, blink) Oh... Replacing Samuel are you?

Maxwell: Yes... A tragic loss of such a good solider.

Claire: Huh?

Maxwell: You know..... When Samuel was killed by the lycan?

Claire: Killed by the Lycan?

Maxwell: Yes, in glorious battle.

Claire: Um, darling... Samuel isn't dead.

Maxwell: But... the last report we received from here said he died in 'Glorious Battle' against a hundred Lycan.

Claire: (Looks in disbelief) The report said that?

Maxwell: (Nods his head) Yes. It says he took at least half of the fowl beasts with him before he was killed.

Claire: (Looking irritated) Did he now?

Maxwell: (Getting a little nervous now) Um, yes... But he's... NOT dead?

Claire: Darling.... Who do you think writes those reports?

Maxwell: ...

Claire: (sigh) Samuel writes them!

Maxwell: ... Wha... Why on earth would we report his own death?!

Claire: (shrugs) He's a bit of a drama queen... If you've ever read any of his previous reports you'll notice he likes to... indulge...

Maxwell: What do you mean by 'Indulge?'

Claire: Let's put it this way sweetie; since I've been stationed here, I've held more glasses of wine in my hands than guns.

Maxwell: ... So when was the last time your group went out hunting for Lycan?

Claire: Hmm... What's today?

Maxwell: The 6th.

Claire: Then about two years.

Maxwell: It's been two years since any of you have hunted down Lycan?!

Claire: Well, they do occasionally come by to make trouble, but we usually just shoot at them from the upstairs windows for a while until they get bored and leave.

Maxwell: B-but your reports!

Claire: I TOLD you, Samuel likes to 'Indulge'...

Maxwell: ... Oh dear...

Claire: (Goes back to her Champaign) Well, I guess you'll be on your way now. Nobody dead, nobody to replace. (Yawn)

Maxwell: Uh, I don't think so...

Claire: ... Say that again?

Maxwell: I'm here to take Samuel's place. Whether he really is dead or not.

Claire: (Looking nervous) Is that so?

Maxwell: Uh huh... Which means I'm in command.

Claire: (Thinks)'This can't be good....'

Maxwell: Which means no more lounging around drinking blood mixed Champaign.

Claire: Crap.

Maxwell: Now... let's get everyone assembled.

...

Maxwell:... This is everyone?

Claire: Y'up.... Except for Samuel. He's still in his Den.

Maxwell: Why didn't you get him?

Claire: Believe me sweetie; NO ONE bothers Samuel while he's in his Den from 6:00 to 7:00.

Maxwell: Why? Is he that scary?

Claire: (Snort) Scary? Samuel?! Nobody goes in his Den at that time because..... (Whispers into Maxwell's ear)

Maxwell: (Look of utter disgust)..... I think we'll start this meeting without him.

Claire: Good idea.

Maxwell: All right... (Walks up to large black man) And who might you be sir?

Charles: I am Charles, sir. Medic and head of armory.

Maxwell: And how is our armory?

Charles: A dust-buster would be appreciated sir.

Maxwell: (Sweat drops) Moving along... (Stand before a petite blonde) And who might you be?

Sophia: I am Sophia sir.

Maxwell: Any special traits?

Sophia: Um... Well I'm very good at- (Claire clamps her hand over Sophia's mouth)

Claire: (nervously) No special skills sir!

Maxwell: ... Uh huh...

Claire: (whispers to Sophia) Keep quite about the 'special traits.'

Sophia: But what if he gets lonely at night? He might need my special skills?

Claire: (sigh) (puts her face in her hands)

Maxwell: And what about you?

Claire: Huh?

Maxwell: Do you have any special skills?

Claire: (Sarcastically) My job is to stand here and look pretty, darling.

Sophia: Hey! Samuel said that was MY job!

(Everyone looks at Sophia)

Sophia: ... What?

Maxwell: ...Well, uh... it's just after 7:00... Someone should probably get Samuel.

Sophia: Ew! Not me!

Charles: I must decline as well.

Claire: (Gives the "No Way in Hell" look)

Maxwell: (Sigh)...

(Samuel a skinny man with a large nose, eventually comes out of his Den, and comes down stairs to find everyone lined up in they're leather hunting suits)

Samuel: Um... Did I miss something?

Maxwell: I take it you're Samuel?

Samuel: Yes, that would be me... And you are? (Extends his hand to Maxwell)

Maxwell: (Looks nervously at the given hand) I am Maxwell. You're replacement.

Samuel: (Blinks) Say wha?

Maxwell: You're last report said you were dead.

Samuel: Oh... Heh... I guess I got a little carried away.

Maxwell: Yeeeaaahh..... And the part about hundreds of Lycan?

Samuel: (ahem) My mistake.

Claire: (Mutters) What kind of idiot reports his own death?!

Samuel: I got carried away! I wanted to make myself look heroic.... Heh...

Maxwell: (Looks at the report much more closely)... Wait a minute.... You wrote this thing in first person format!

Claire: (Mumbles) What an idiot...

Samuel: (Sweating nervously)

Maxwell: (Dryly) Well... Since, you're supposed 'death' I've been put in charge.

Samuel: What?!

Maxwell: And because of your 'mistake'... the believed number of lycan here encouraged us to bring in additional support.

Sophia: (Looks out the window) Ooooh! A helicopter! We get a helicopter!

(Everyone looks out the window at the Dark Purple helicopter)

Maxwell: Yes. The MR-12 Purple Bat, the newest addition to Crow Canyon's Arsenal.

Claire: (Raises an eyebrow) Impressive.

(Outside)

Neighbor wife: (Taking groceries into the house) Dear, is it me or does that big mansion have a helicopter?

Neighbor Husband: (Helping his wife) Hm... Looks like it.

Neighbor Wife: Is that legal?

Neighbor Husband: No.

Neighbor: ... Okay. (Continues taking groceries inside)

(Back inside)

Charles: How did you get that here? I didn't hear any helicopter sounds.

Maxwell: Yes... (Ahem) Well I don't actually know how to fly a helicopter myself... so we had it shipped.

Charles: Sir... what good is a helicopter if no one knows how to use it?

Maxwell: Er...

Claire: (Sigh) I miss my Champaign...

Sophia: Oh! Oh! Can I ride shotgun?!

Charlies: I hope we don't get anymore complaints from the home owners association for this one. We spent a lot of money so they would over-look the yard gnomes.....

Maxwell: ...

Samuel: So wait... Does this mean the Den isn't mine anymore?!

...

So how will the Werewolves fair with the increase of the vampires ranks and arsenal? Will Samuel keep his Den? Does E really =MC2?! Find out in the next episode of Underworld: Battle for Crow Canyon Dr.!

The ever illusive,

Hyper Guyver