Chapter 5
I found myself marching through the bushes towards Danica's tent, and away from my normally good judgment. I couldn't help it, despite the warning from the Disa and Deo I wouldn't be able to settle my nerves until I was able to actually talk to the woman in charge of my foe.
In no time I was able to slip past the guards who were dozing off or joking with each other. The first big mistake of guarding something is to presume that just because you are standing directly in front of the doorway nothing can get in. Despite their lack of attention I still crept in silently as I could and stood in the shadows. A nervous thought came over me but before I could pay heed to it Danica sat bolt upright and looked at me in horror.
Stepping forward I felt her eyes slide down my body, most likely looking for weapons, and her heartbeat quicken in my ears to about the speed of a rabbit running from its ginger death.
"What do you want?" Hearing the terror in her voice gave me the confidence I needed to push my fear aside and pretend like it was all simple as a swipe of the hand. So I made myself comfortable to reinsure that I wasn't going o run out of the door.
"I decided that you and I should talk," The volume of my voice was rising and I couldn't help but have the urge to shake her for being so naïve; to fear me while I was here trying to discuss peace. "Sit down, Danica. I'm not going to ravage you or bite you or whatever it is you're thinking." She sat and relaxed slightly, yet the one word that came from her throat was coated in fear.
"Talk?"
"We were thrown out of the Mistari hall quite abruptly, and in all likelihood the same will happen tomorrow unless we have some discussion prior."
"Continue,"
"Did you know there are four guards outside your door, Danica?" She looked taken aback, "I thought not. The Mistari added their own people to yours. They're all incompetent really, or I wouldn't be here, but it would have been tricky to catch you alone tomorrow. And since you're the only one in your group who has demonstrated any sense, you seemed the one to talk to." She seemed to almost roll here eyes as she said
"It's late, Zane, and I am very tired, what is it you want to talk about?" Finally some type of emotion from her other than fear...
"About life, and about death. About the fact that my people mean more to me than anything else, and I would do almost anything to end this foolish war. I want to talk about the world, and most specifically, about you." Her mouth dropped to and baffled expression,
"Me?"
"Of course you." I said with a sigh, "If the Mistari Disa's proposal is even to be considered, I would like to know what I would be getting myself into."
"I believe you already expressed your opinion on that subject," Her tone was sour and I almost winced at my own rudeness. I didn't mean for her to take the earlier comment to heart—it wasn't even about her in particular.
"And I believe my first reaction is probably still correct," I kept my voice calm and tried not to sound like I was backing out of my earlier comment. It had already been said, and it would be better to admit to my opinion than sound cowardly about it. "It is an absurd idea, but that is not doubt why it has never been tried. I'm not saying I'll go along with it," the tension was building up in my body to get this out before I actually started to fall into the idea. I couldn't help but keep thinking in the back of my mind that this could work, that it would actually work if... but first I had to keep low, keep Danica open to me in general, before I could ever convince her to marry for my people and hers. "But it does have some potential." I added in. Her face lapsed into a look of suspicion.
"And what exactly do you think you are 'getting yourself into'?" I couldn't help but slide my eyes over her body. It was thrilling, the slender frailness of her form perfectly mixed with her strong muscles. No one would guess at just looking, but she could probably punch unconscious with one blow.
"If it was just your body, Danica, I would agree very quickly," A blush that would make a rose envious crept up her neck and onto her cheeks. "But one doesn't choose a life partner for form, and the simple fact is that your mind comes a part of the deal—and that is the part of you that, despite years of musing over it, I have yet to fathom. I thought I understood you once, beautiful and arrogant and blind to suffering. And I had almost learned to hate you." I choose my words carefully, and decided not to let her know that I had in fact been in the battlefield. It would only complicate things, and give her too many emotions to make her decision clearly. "But then I heard that the pristine Danica Shardae, had knelt in the blood and filth of the battlefield and held my brother's hand and sung to him so he would not die alone. It made me think that perhaps you might have a heart after all." I made a gesture with my hand, I had been talking with my hands since I was small and the small outreach of contact towards her didn't even register in my mind until I heard the small whimper and jump. "Damn it, Danica! I'm not going to hurt you." She stood and said
"Forgive me if I find it difficult to completely trust the man who had so many of my kind killed."
"If I wanted to hurt you I would have done it already. I didn't have the slightest bit of difficulty slipping past your guards. Your avian heart beats almost a hundred times a minute at rest. Poison from cobra's bite would reach your brain within seconds, so quickly you would not have a chance to cry out." my temper started rising as words that should have never been said began to fly out of my mouth towards her in a hiss. "Trust me, little avian, when I say if I wanted you dead, you would have been dead long ago. I wouldn't have bothered to set up this whole meeting with the Mistari. I would have broken into your room in the dark of night and smoothed you with that Chinese silk pillow that you keep on the top of the trunk at the foot of your bed." A flash memory of her simple bedroom went before my eyes as pure shock settled in hers.
"What?"
"You know the one I mean—gold and red silk, with flying black and silver dragons. Beautiful, obviously handcrafted—"
"Who told you about it?" She demanded and despite trying to stay serious I was having fun jerking her around so easily. I lay back on the pillows,
"About the pillow? Or about the oaken chest it sits on?" I raised my eyes to her molten ones holding my gaze. They seemed to send a warm shiver into my chest and I longed to touch her face that was so bravely motionless with anger. "Or maybe about the white woolen blanket you sleep with in colder weather, which is soft as new down," I could feel the long ago memory of the blanket warm beneath my fingers as they trailed over her arm. "And the heavy tapestry that hangs across the open balcony doors in good weather."
"How..."
"I've been there," I admitted. "I've seen it. The hawks keep isn't the easiest in the world to sneak into, but I have a talent for such things. I nearly got myself caught the first time, trying to figure out how to get into the first floor, but luckily the guards don't often look up for an enemy. From there, there are servant staircases. You don't even keep you door locked, Danica." My tone was serious again, and I lowered my gaze before I actually reached out my hands and pulled her body towards mine.
"You're making this up." Ahh, what denial can do to a perfectly sensible person.
"You really think so? The first time I saw you, Danica, I was sixteen. I had just lost the first of my brothers in an avian attack. Someone— I don't remember who—told me you had just turned fifteen. For your birthday, my brother died." Her eyes slid down to the floor. "I rode a horse to the old Desmodus paths, and then cut through the woods. It was an hour or so after midnight when I found myself at your bedside. I meant to kill you."
"And why didn't you?"
"Sit down, Danica," I tilted my head to the side in question. How could they hide from their princess how striking she is? "Do you have even the faintest idea how beautiful you are?" I closed my eyes and saw the young Danica sprawled across her bed. "You were fifteen. Only a year younger than I was. You were wearing white lambskin pants, and a blouse made of fur- lined cotton. I assumed you had fallen asleep before preparing for bed." I opened my eyes, "I remember thinking you were as striking as the chaste Greek goddess of the hunt. I was young. And I wasn't a killer—not then, anyway. I had never killed before, and I couldn't start by destroying something so exquisite. I reached out to touch your cheek."
She looked as captivated in the story as I was, and I couldn't help myself this time but to run my cool fingers down her flushed cheek. To my surprise she stayed still. "You cried out in your sleep and pulled away from me. And then I saw the cut on your cheek, right here. Your arm had another slice, like you had been in a fight." I traced the cuts that seemed to have been there only yesterday. "For a moment I wanted more than anything just to take you into my arms, but you had pulled away from me already, and I was afraid of frightening you. I told myself I hated you." I trailed my fingers through her baby soft hair and my breathing became shallow. I barely knew this woman, and she was still taking me in somehow at this moment. "But it wasn't true. You weren't responsible for the fighting. You weren't able to stop it anymore than I was."
"Why are you telling me this?" I dropped to my knees, to show her that I wasn't a threat.
"You didn't' start this war, Danica, and neither did I. it's been going on for so long it's meaningless; people fight because they don't know what else to do. People fight because their leaders fight, and their leaders are killed, so they have more reason to go on." I took her hand in mine, "Danica, my sister Irene is carrying a child. She was white with fear when she told me. It's an event that should bring joy... but everyone in my family jus remembers an Avian soldier plunging a sword into my oldest sister's swollen belly." She started to apologize, but it wasn't the reason I had told her this, I had told her so she would see as much as I how this war needed to end. I put my fingers to her lips and whispered "No apologies needed from you, Danica." I ran my hand through her hair again, "I am going back to the royal hall tomorrow evening. My mother, sister and guards will not be there to argue with the Disa and me. I hope you'll be there, and that you will listen to what she has to say. What she suggests... it might work. I'm just asking you to give the idea chance." Her face let show hesitation, and I knew that she thought the idea would never work. "Please Danica," I pleaded. "You sang to my brother of peace and hope. I can't believe that you aren't as desperate for those things as I am. Just...try." She nodded and I felt a glimmer of hope flit through me.
"I will try,"
"Thank you." I stepped forward to kiss her cheek, the regular custom to someone you truly are thankful to, but a scream came from her throat and panic was sent though me as two of her royal flight came bursting through the tent doors. Danica stepped between the guards and I before I could fight as a guard went to grab her and move her out of the way she said with a tone of steel
"There's no trouble here; I was just about to escort Zane out, anyway." I sighed silently in thanks to her. She was going to protect me from her guards—it was a sign that she was beginning to trust me. "Zane?"
"Thank you for speaking with me at such a late hour, Danica." My arrogance got a hold of me and I made my movements slow and threatening, while I should have just walked out as fast as I could, knowing how little real power Danica possessed over her people. I offered my arm, and hoped that she would accept. As we walked out the guard that had tried to move Danica from in front of me wouldn't budge and I had to use much of my self control not to knock him to the ground.
He gave me a look of fury and I caught his glare ready to fight but realized what would hurt the bastard more than angry words... I wrapped an arm around Danica's waist and kissed her softly. The guard was stepping towards me to most likely wrap his hands around my neck, but I stepped back too quickly, nodded good night to Danica, and changed form. Heading for my tent and away from the angry guard In prayed silently that she would come—that this war would finally come to an end.
I found myself marching through the bushes towards Danica's tent, and away from my normally good judgment. I couldn't help it, despite the warning from the Disa and Deo I wouldn't be able to settle my nerves until I was able to actually talk to the woman in charge of my foe.
In no time I was able to slip past the guards who were dozing off or joking with each other. The first big mistake of guarding something is to presume that just because you are standing directly in front of the doorway nothing can get in. Despite their lack of attention I still crept in silently as I could and stood in the shadows. A nervous thought came over me but before I could pay heed to it Danica sat bolt upright and looked at me in horror.
Stepping forward I felt her eyes slide down my body, most likely looking for weapons, and her heartbeat quicken in my ears to about the speed of a rabbit running from its ginger death.
"What do you want?" Hearing the terror in her voice gave me the confidence I needed to push my fear aside and pretend like it was all simple as a swipe of the hand. So I made myself comfortable to reinsure that I wasn't going o run out of the door.
"I decided that you and I should talk," The volume of my voice was rising and I couldn't help but have the urge to shake her for being so naïve; to fear me while I was here trying to discuss peace. "Sit down, Danica. I'm not going to ravage you or bite you or whatever it is you're thinking." She sat and relaxed slightly, yet the one word that came from her throat was coated in fear.
"Talk?"
"We were thrown out of the Mistari hall quite abruptly, and in all likelihood the same will happen tomorrow unless we have some discussion prior."
"Continue,"
"Did you know there are four guards outside your door, Danica?" She looked taken aback, "I thought not. The Mistari added their own people to yours. They're all incompetent really, or I wouldn't be here, but it would have been tricky to catch you alone tomorrow. And since you're the only one in your group who has demonstrated any sense, you seemed the one to talk to." She seemed to almost roll here eyes as she said
"It's late, Zane, and I am very tired, what is it you want to talk about?" Finally some type of emotion from her other than fear...
"About life, and about death. About the fact that my people mean more to me than anything else, and I would do almost anything to end this foolish war. I want to talk about the world, and most specifically, about you." Her mouth dropped to and baffled expression,
"Me?"
"Of course you." I said with a sigh, "If the Mistari Disa's proposal is even to be considered, I would like to know what I would be getting myself into."
"I believe you already expressed your opinion on that subject," Her tone was sour and I almost winced at my own rudeness. I didn't mean for her to take the earlier comment to heart—it wasn't even about her in particular.
"And I believe my first reaction is probably still correct," I kept my voice calm and tried not to sound like I was backing out of my earlier comment. It had already been said, and it would be better to admit to my opinion than sound cowardly about it. "It is an absurd idea, but that is not doubt why it has never been tried. I'm not saying I'll go along with it," the tension was building up in my body to get this out before I actually started to fall into the idea. I couldn't help but keep thinking in the back of my mind that this could work, that it would actually work if... but first I had to keep low, keep Danica open to me in general, before I could ever convince her to marry for my people and hers. "But it does have some potential." I added in. Her face lapsed into a look of suspicion.
"And what exactly do you think you are 'getting yourself into'?" I couldn't help but slide my eyes over her body. It was thrilling, the slender frailness of her form perfectly mixed with her strong muscles. No one would guess at just looking, but she could probably punch unconscious with one blow.
"If it was just your body, Danica, I would agree very quickly," A blush that would make a rose envious crept up her neck and onto her cheeks. "But one doesn't choose a life partner for form, and the simple fact is that your mind comes a part of the deal—and that is the part of you that, despite years of musing over it, I have yet to fathom. I thought I understood you once, beautiful and arrogant and blind to suffering. And I had almost learned to hate you." I choose my words carefully, and decided not to let her know that I had in fact been in the battlefield. It would only complicate things, and give her too many emotions to make her decision clearly. "But then I heard that the pristine Danica Shardae, had knelt in the blood and filth of the battlefield and held my brother's hand and sung to him so he would not die alone. It made me think that perhaps you might have a heart after all." I made a gesture with my hand, I had been talking with my hands since I was small and the small outreach of contact towards her didn't even register in my mind until I heard the small whimper and jump. "Damn it, Danica! I'm not going to hurt you." She stood and said
"Forgive me if I find it difficult to completely trust the man who had so many of my kind killed."
"If I wanted to hurt you I would have done it already. I didn't have the slightest bit of difficulty slipping past your guards. Your avian heart beats almost a hundred times a minute at rest. Poison from cobra's bite would reach your brain within seconds, so quickly you would not have a chance to cry out." my temper started rising as words that should have never been said began to fly out of my mouth towards her in a hiss. "Trust me, little avian, when I say if I wanted you dead, you would have been dead long ago. I wouldn't have bothered to set up this whole meeting with the Mistari. I would have broken into your room in the dark of night and smoothed you with that Chinese silk pillow that you keep on the top of the trunk at the foot of your bed." A flash memory of her simple bedroom went before my eyes as pure shock settled in hers.
"What?"
"You know the one I mean—gold and red silk, with flying black and silver dragons. Beautiful, obviously handcrafted—"
"Who told you about it?" She demanded and despite trying to stay serious I was having fun jerking her around so easily. I lay back on the pillows,
"About the pillow? Or about the oaken chest it sits on?" I raised my eyes to her molten ones holding my gaze. They seemed to send a warm shiver into my chest and I longed to touch her face that was so bravely motionless with anger. "Or maybe about the white woolen blanket you sleep with in colder weather, which is soft as new down," I could feel the long ago memory of the blanket warm beneath my fingers as they trailed over her arm. "And the heavy tapestry that hangs across the open balcony doors in good weather."
"How..."
"I've been there," I admitted. "I've seen it. The hawks keep isn't the easiest in the world to sneak into, but I have a talent for such things. I nearly got myself caught the first time, trying to figure out how to get into the first floor, but luckily the guards don't often look up for an enemy. From there, there are servant staircases. You don't even keep you door locked, Danica." My tone was serious again, and I lowered my gaze before I actually reached out my hands and pulled her body towards mine.
"You're making this up." Ahh, what denial can do to a perfectly sensible person.
"You really think so? The first time I saw you, Danica, I was sixteen. I had just lost the first of my brothers in an avian attack. Someone— I don't remember who—told me you had just turned fifteen. For your birthday, my brother died." Her eyes slid down to the floor. "I rode a horse to the old Desmodus paths, and then cut through the woods. It was an hour or so after midnight when I found myself at your bedside. I meant to kill you."
"And why didn't you?"
"Sit down, Danica," I tilted my head to the side in question. How could they hide from their princess how striking she is? "Do you have even the faintest idea how beautiful you are?" I closed my eyes and saw the young Danica sprawled across her bed. "You were fifteen. Only a year younger than I was. You were wearing white lambskin pants, and a blouse made of fur- lined cotton. I assumed you had fallen asleep before preparing for bed." I opened my eyes, "I remember thinking you were as striking as the chaste Greek goddess of the hunt. I was young. And I wasn't a killer—not then, anyway. I had never killed before, and I couldn't start by destroying something so exquisite. I reached out to touch your cheek."
She looked as captivated in the story as I was, and I couldn't help myself this time but to run my cool fingers down her flushed cheek. To my surprise she stayed still. "You cried out in your sleep and pulled away from me. And then I saw the cut on your cheek, right here. Your arm had another slice, like you had been in a fight." I traced the cuts that seemed to have been there only yesterday. "For a moment I wanted more than anything just to take you into my arms, but you had pulled away from me already, and I was afraid of frightening you. I told myself I hated you." I trailed my fingers through her baby soft hair and my breathing became shallow. I barely knew this woman, and she was still taking me in somehow at this moment. "But it wasn't true. You weren't responsible for the fighting. You weren't able to stop it anymore than I was."
"Why are you telling me this?" I dropped to my knees, to show her that I wasn't a threat.
"You didn't' start this war, Danica, and neither did I. it's been going on for so long it's meaningless; people fight because they don't know what else to do. People fight because their leaders fight, and their leaders are killed, so they have more reason to go on." I took her hand in mine, "Danica, my sister Irene is carrying a child. She was white with fear when she told me. It's an event that should bring joy... but everyone in my family jus remembers an Avian soldier plunging a sword into my oldest sister's swollen belly." She started to apologize, but it wasn't the reason I had told her this, I had told her so she would see as much as I how this war needed to end. I put my fingers to her lips and whispered "No apologies needed from you, Danica." I ran my hand through her hair again, "I am going back to the royal hall tomorrow evening. My mother, sister and guards will not be there to argue with the Disa and me. I hope you'll be there, and that you will listen to what she has to say. What she suggests... it might work. I'm just asking you to give the idea chance." Her face let show hesitation, and I knew that she thought the idea would never work. "Please Danica," I pleaded. "You sang to my brother of peace and hope. I can't believe that you aren't as desperate for those things as I am. Just...try." She nodded and I felt a glimmer of hope flit through me.
"I will try,"
"Thank you." I stepped forward to kiss her cheek, the regular custom to someone you truly are thankful to, but a scream came from her throat and panic was sent though me as two of her royal flight came bursting through the tent doors. Danica stepped between the guards and I before I could fight as a guard went to grab her and move her out of the way she said with a tone of steel
"There's no trouble here; I was just about to escort Zane out, anyway." I sighed silently in thanks to her. She was going to protect me from her guards—it was a sign that she was beginning to trust me. "Zane?"
"Thank you for speaking with me at such a late hour, Danica." My arrogance got a hold of me and I made my movements slow and threatening, while I should have just walked out as fast as I could, knowing how little real power Danica possessed over her people. I offered my arm, and hoped that she would accept. As we walked out the guard that had tried to move Danica from in front of me wouldn't budge and I had to use much of my self control not to knock him to the ground.
He gave me a look of fury and I caught his glare ready to fight but realized what would hurt the bastard more than angry words... I wrapped an arm around Danica's waist and kissed her softly. The guard was stepping towards me to most likely wrap his hands around my neck, but I stepped back too quickly, nodded good night to Danica, and changed form. Heading for my tent and away from the angry guard In prayed silently that she would come—that this war would finally come to an end.
