Van ran his fingers over the slip of paper he held. On the side facing him was
printed, in glossy letters, PAY TO THE ORDER OF VAN COOPER, THE SUM OF
$250,000. His smile was weak compared to the radiant grins of Quinn, Logan,
Odette, and Dallin, who surrounded Van's wheelchair and doted over the check as
if it were a new hatchling.
"Would you mind telling the viewing audience what you plan to do with all that money?" the newswoman asked before putting the microphone up to Van's beak.
Van looked directly into the camera that was trained on his face. "I talked to my dad," he related, "and we decided to split it up, and invest part of it, and put the rest in the college fund. We have a lot of kids to send through college, you know."
The exchange between Van and the interview was interrupted when the front door suddenly flew open with a bang. The cameraman turned and focused on the seething, outraged Muffy Crosswire as she marched into the house, stomped through the living room, walked past her surprised father, snatched the check from Van's hands, and tore it to shreds before his disbelieving eyes.
"M-Muffy...? What..." Van sputtered.
Still furious, Muffy drew back her hand and let it fly at Van's cheek. The other Cooper kids winced in horror when they heard the resounding slap.
"Ow!" Van yelped. "What are you..."
"You conniving little twerp!" Muffy roared. "You turned me in to the police for the reward money!"
"Th-that's not true!" Van protested fearfully. "I turned you in because I was worried about you! I wanted you to come home!"
"Liar!" shouted Muffy as the cameraman sprang to the side of the arguing duo to get a better angle. "I saw what you wrote down when you were on the phone with me." She waved her finger as if writing in the air. "Muffy. Call police. $250,000."
"Huh?" Surprise registered on Van's terrified face. "B-but I didn't..."
"Muffy, wait!" Quinn stepped forward and stuck a hand in front of Muffy's nose, causing her to step backwards. "I can explain. I was there when you called Van. He tried to get me to call the police while he kept you on the line, but I didn't want to get involved. So he wrote down the reward figure to give me an extra incentive."
"What?" squeaked Muffy in astonishment.
"It's true," said Van, rubbing his painful cheek. "I never cared about the money. I just wanted you back."
As Muffy allowed Quinn's words to sink into her mind, Dallin began to idly pick up the pieces of the torn check that she had dropped on the floor.
"Okay," said Muffy, glancing around at the gathered Cooper family, "but that doesn't explain why you all schmoozed me and my dad on TV. Are you all so easily bought? Don't you have any shame?"
"That was part of the deal I made with your dad," Van explained.
"Deal?" Muffy turned and looked at her father questioningly. "What deal?"
Smiling, Mr. Crosswire approached his daughter and placed a warm hand over her head. "Muffin," he said proudly, "you no longer have to attend Uppity Downs."
Muffy's heart nearly stopped. She gazed at her father in bewilderment. Was she dreaming? Had she really heard those words from his mouth?
"H-Honest, Dad?" she stammered.
"Cross my heart and hope to die," Mr. Crosswire replied.
Muffy's heart brimmed with joy and elation. Her prayers had finally been answered...
"Daddy, I love you!" The cameraman bent his knees to get a close-up as Muffy threw her arms around her father's midsection, tears of happiness streaming from her eyes.
Van moved his wheelchair closer to Muffy, who was drying her cheeks on Mr. Crosswire's expensive suit jacket. "It was a win-win-win situation," he explained. "Your dad gets the best publicity of his life, we get a quarter of a million dollars, and you get to go back to Lakewood."
"I'll make out a new check as soon as I get home," Mr. Crosswire offered.
"Van, that's crazy," said Muffy as she pulled away from her father. "How did you get your family to go along with it?"
"My dad was hard to convince," Van answered. "As for the others, they wanted the money, and I controlled the purse strings, so to speak."
Muffy's face fell as she realized the hurt she had done. "I'm sorry, Van. I'm sorry for making a scene and calling you names and hitting you." She took a step closer to Van. "Can I kiss you on the cheek where I hit you?"
"Sure, Muffy," Van replied. "But it doesn't mean we're going steady."
The cameraman bent to one side to capture Muffy as she gave Van a tender peck on the cheek. Then the girl straightened up and smiled.
"I'm going back to Lakewood," she enthused. "I can't wait to tell all my friends."
"You don't have to," Van pointed out. "In case you haven't noticed, you've been on live TV from the moment you walked in."
Muffy whirled. The camera was staring her straight in the face...
Horror seized her as she realized what had happened. The viewing public of Elwood City had just watched her march into the Cooper house, hurl insults and accusations at her boyfriend, and slap him across the cheek. And she had done it all without fixing her hair.
Muffy burst into tears and wailed in agony.
----
The Coopers judiciously invested the bulk of their $250,000 reward, while Van discovered that he had more friends than before, and that his old friends had warmed up to him even more. Odette received a beautiful new pair of ballet shoes, Logan obtained some more fashionable "threads", and Van wondered how he had gotten along without his new leather wheelchair armrest covers.
No one heard from the Armstrongs, not even a postcard. Francine became more or less accustomed to sharing her brain with Sue Ellen, and found that her grades in geography had improved nicely. Beat did not recover the memories of the three weeks she had lost, but her marks only suffered slight damage.
Fern and Binky started to perform alongside Mrs. Stiles in new episodes of New Moo Revue. Fern's friends pointed out how similar her voice was to that of the new character Mini Moo, but she denied all involvement. Binky's secret remained secure.
Arthur gradually reached the point where he could look at Francine without becoming violently nauseous. They debated how to act on the knowledge that Francine was in love with Arthur, but reached no firm conclusions. No, they didn't kiss.
A week passed. The kids were gathered in Mr. Wald's classroom at the beginning of the day, engaged in friendly chatter. The door to the room opened, and all were surprised to see Mavis Cutler enter. The hamster girl appeared confused and bashful, and she held a sealed envelope in her hand.
Mr. Wald rose from his desk when his eyes met the girl. "Welcome, Mavis," he said in a friendly voice. Binky eagerly stood up to greet Mavis, but stopped himself when the teacher started to introduce the visitor. "Kids, this is Mavis Cutler," he announced. "Mavis is joining our class today. Some of you already know her. She's suffered some memory loss, so don't be too surprised if you have to reintroduce yourselves to her."
The kids murmured among themselves. Concerned, Binky stepped closer to Mavis. "Memory loss?" he asked. "How much?"
"I can't remember anything since about a year ago," Mavis replied in a voice that sounded less assured than the voice Binky was accustomed to hearing.
Francine and Beat, seated in adjacent desks, looked at each other in astonishment, knowing exactly what this development implied.
"Despite her memory loss," Mr. Wald informed the kids, "Mavis is still a very smart girl. She'll be a valuable addition to our class."
Binky hesitantly returned to his seat, while Mavis held up the envelope that she was holding. "Uh, which one of you is Francine Frensky?" she called out.
Francine raised her hand. "Over here."
Mavis walked over to Francine's desk and handed the envelope to her. "I'm supposed to give this to you," she stated.
Francine fumbled with the envelope. It was covered with blue speckles, and had a label on the front with her name in cursive handwriting. She looked back up at Mavis, who was gazing at her curiously. "You are really Mavis, right?" she asked suspiciously.
Mavis shrugged. "Who else would I be?"
As Mavis pulled off her backpack and seated herself at a nearby desk, Francine watched carefully to see if she could catch a glimpse of a strange black device in the pack. She didn't.
She opened the envelope; inside was a handwritten letter, which was signed on the bottom with the names Mavis Culter and Andrew Putnam. It read:
"Dear Francine. I hope this letter finds you in good health. I hope you are adjusting well to the side effects of the Opticron. Are you and Sue Ellen getting along all right? I write this as I am about to apply the Opticron to myself, and erase the knowledge and memories of Andrew Putnam from my brain forever. You may think it strange that I have decided to do this, so I will explain my reasons. As I told you before, the Opticron should have completely and permanently erased your memories of being Francine, and replaced them with Sue Ellen's memories. It failed to do so, however, and Francine's memories resurfaced in your mind. My research into this failure has led me to conclude that there are certain theoretical limitations on the extent to which the human brain can be reprogrammed. I will not try to explain these to you, as you lack the scientific background to understand them. Suffice it to say that my line of research has run into what you might call a 'dead end'. No further progress can be made as long as scientists are limited to working with human brains. The development of other types of brains is the realm of artificial intelligence, a field which I know very little about, and which is still in its primitive stages. My scientific knowledge now being for the most part useless, I am now faced with the decision of either living a full life as an unremarkable female, or undoing what I have done and allowing Mavis to follow her own course without the influence of Andrew Putnam. I have chosen the latter. I hope that the loss of one year of memories will not greatly disadvantage Mavis. If I had known then what I know now, I would not have burdened two young girls with the preservation of my own consciousness. My heart goes out to Mavis Cutler and Beat Simon. I apologize for the trouble and pain that my shortsightedness has caused them, and I wish them long and prosperous lives. Sincerely yours..."
"...Francine Frensky."
"Here!" Francine blurted out.
Mr. Wald nodded at her. "George Nordgren."
"Here," said George, raising his hand.
Upon finishing the roll call, Mr. Wald gazed out over the students in his charge, which now consisted of boys Arthur, Binky, George, Van, and Adil, and girls Francine, Muffy, Fern, Beat, and Mavis.
"How nice," he remarked. "It's five and five again."
THE END
"Would you mind telling the viewing audience what you plan to do with all that money?" the newswoman asked before putting the microphone up to Van's beak.
Van looked directly into the camera that was trained on his face. "I talked to my dad," he related, "and we decided to split it up, and invest part of it, and put the rest in the college fund. We have a lot of kids to send through college, you know."
The exchange between Van and the interview was interrupted when the front door suddenly flew open with a bang. The cameraman turned and focused on the seething, outraged Muffy Crosswire as she marched into the house, stomped through the living room, walked past her surprised father, snatched the check from Van's hands, and tore it to shreds before his disbelieving eyes.
"M-Muffy...? What..." Van sputtered.
Still furious, Muffy drew back her hand and let it fly at Van's cheek. The other Cooper kids winced in horror when they heard the resounding slap.
"Ow!" Van yelped. "What are you..."
"You conniving little twerp!" Muffy roared. "You turned me in to the police for the reward money!"
"Th-that's not true!" Van protested fearfully. "I turned you in because I was worried about you! I wanted you to come home!"
"Liar!" shouted Muffy as the cameraman sprang to the side of the arguing duo to get a better angle. "I saw what you wrote down when you were on the phone with me." She waved her finger as if writing in the air. "Muffy. Call police. $250,000."
"Huh?" Surprise registered on Van's terrified face. "B-but I didn't..."
"Muffy, wait!" Quinn stepped forward and stuck a hand in front of Muffy's nose, causing her to step backwards. "I can explain. I was there when you called Van. He tried to get me to call the police while he kept you on the line, but I didn't want to get involved. So he wrote down the reward figure to give me an extra incentive."
"What?" squeaked Muffy in astonishment.
"It's true," said Van, rubbing his painful cheek. "I never cared about the money. I just wanted you back."
As Muffy allowed Quinn's words to sink into her mind, Dallin began to idly pick up the pieces of the torn check that she had dropped on the floor.
"Okay," said Muffy, glancing around at the gathered Cooper family, "but that doesn't explain why you all schmoozed me and my dad on TV. Are you all so easily bought? Don't you have any shame?"
"That was part of the deal I made with your dad," Van explained.
"Deal?" Muffy turned and looked at her father questioningly. "What deal?"
Smiling, Mr. Crosswire approached his daughter and placed a warm hand over her head. "Muffin," he said proudly, "you no longer have to attend Uppity Downs."
Muffy's heart nearly stopped. She gazed at her father in bewilderment. Was she dreaming? Had she really heard those words from his mouth?
"H-Honest, Dad?" she stammered.
"Cross my heart and hope to die," Mr. Crosswire replied.
Muffy's heart brimmed with joy and elation. Her prayers had finally been answered...
"Daddy, I love you!" The cameraman bent his knees to get a close-up as Muffy threw her arms around her father's midsection, tears of happiness streaming from her eyes.
Van moved his wheelchair closer to Muffy, who was drying her cheeks on Mr. Crosswire's expensive suit jacket. "It was a win-win-win situation," he explained. "Your dad gets the best publicity of his life, we get a quarter of a million dollars, and you get to go back to Lakewood."
"I'll make out a new check as soon as I get home," Mr. Crosswire offered.
"Van, that's crazy," said Muffy as she pulled away from her father. "How did you get your family to go along with it?"
"My dad was hard to convince," Van answered. "As for the others, they wanted the money, and I controlled the purse strings, so to speak."
Muffy's face fell as she realized the hurt she had done. "I'm sorry, Van. I'm sorry for making a scene and calling you names and hitting you." She took a step closer to Van. "Can I kiss you on the cheek where I hit you?"
"Sure, Muffy," Van replied. "But it doesn't mean we're going steady."
The cameraman bent to one side to capture Muffy as she gave Van a tender peck on the cheek. Then the girl straightened up and smiled.
"I'm going back to Lakewood," she enthused. "I can't wait to tell all my friends."
"You don't have to," Van pointed out. "In case you haven't noticed, you've been on live TV from the moment you walked in."
Muffy whirled. The camera was staring her straight in the face...
Horror seized her as she realized what had happened. The viewing public of Elwood City had just watched her march into the Cooper house, hurl insults and accusations at her boyfriend, and slap him across the cheek. And she had done it all without fixing her hair.
Muffy burst into tears and wailed in agony.
----
The Coopers judiciously invested the bulk of their $250,000 reward, while Van discovered that he had more friends than before, and that his old friends had warmed up to him even more. Odette received a beautiful new pair of ballet shoes, Logan obtained some more fashionable "threads", and Van wondered how he had gotten along without his new leather wheelchair armrest covers.
No one heard from the Armstrongs, not even a postcard. Francine became more or less accustomed to sharing her brain with Sue Ellen, and found that her grades in geography had improved nicely. Beat did not recover the memories of the three weeks she had lost, but her marks only suffered slight damage.
Fern and Binky started to perform alongside Mrs. Stiles in new episodes of New Moo Revue. Fern's friends pointed out how similar her voice was to that of the new character Mini Moo, but she denied all involvement. Binky's secret remained secure.
Arthur gradually reached the point where he could look at Francine without becoming violently nauseous. They debated how to act on the knowledge that Francine was in love with Arthur, but reached no firm conclusions. No, they didn't kiss.
A week passed. The kids were gathered in Mr. Wald's classroom at the beginning of the day, engaged in friendly chatter. The door to the room opened, and all were surprised to see Mavis Cutler enter. The hamster girl appeared confused and bashful, and she held a sealed envelope in her hand.
Mr. Wald rose from his desk when his eyes met the girl. "Welcome, Mavis," he said in a friendly voice. Binky eagerly stood up to greet Mavis, but stopped himself when the teacher started to introduce the visitor. "Kids, this is Mavis Cutler," he announced. "Mavis is joining our class today. Some of you already know her. She's suffered some memory loss, so don't be too surprised if you have to reintroduce yourselves to her."
The kids murmured among themselves. Concerned, Binky stepped closer to Mavis. "Memory loss?" he asked. "How much?"
"I can't remember anything since about a year ago," Mavis replied in a voice that sounded less assured than the voice Binky was accustomed to hearing.
Francine and Beat, seated in adjacent desks, looked at each other in astonishment, knowing exactly what this development implied.
"Despite her memory loss," Mr. Wald informed the kids, "Mavis is still a very smart girl. She'll be a valuable addition to our class."
Binky hesitantly returned to his seat, while Mavis held up the envelope that she was holding. "Uh, which one of you is Francine Frensky?" she called out.
Francine raised her hand. "Over here."
Mavis walked over to Francine's desk and handed the envelope to her. "I'm supposed to give this to you," she stated.
Francine fumbled with the envelope. It was covered with blue speckles, and had a label on the front with her name in cursive handwriting. She looked back up at Mavis, who was gazing at her curiously. "You are really Mavis, right?" she asked suspiciously.
Mavis shrugged. "Who else would I be?"
As Mavis pulled off her backpack and seated herself at a nearby desk, Francine watched carefully to see if she could catch a glimpse of a strange black device in the pack. She didn't.
She opened the envelope; inside was a handwritten letter, which was signed on the bottom with the names Mavis Culter and Andrew Putnam. It read:
"Dear Francine. I hope this letter finds you in good health. I hope you are adjusting well to the side effects of the Opticron. Are you and Sue Ellen getting along all right? I write this as I am about to apply the Opticron to myself, and erase the knowledge and memories of Andrew Putnam from my brain forever. You may think it strange that I have decided to do this, so I will explain my reasons. As I told you before, the Opticron should have completely and permanently erased your memories of being Francine, and replaced them with Sue Ellen's memories. It failed to do so, however, and Francine's memories resurfaced in your mind. My research into this failure has led me to conclude that there are certain theoretical limitations on the extent to which the human brain can be reprogrammed. I will not try to explain these to you, as you lack the scientific background to understand them. Suffice it to say that my line of research has run into what you might call a 'dead end'. No further progress can be made as long as scientists are limited to working with human brains. The development of other types of brains is the realm of artificial intelligence, a field which I know very little about, and which is still in its primitive stages. My scientific knowledge now being for the most part useless, I am now faced with the decision of either living a full life as an unremarkable female, or undoing what I have done and allowing Mavis to follow her own course without the influence of Andrew Putnam. I have chosen the latter. I hope that the loss of one year of memories will not greatly disadvantage Mavis. If I had known then what I know now, I would not have burdened two young girls with the preservation of my own consciousness. My heart goes out to Mavis Cutler and Beat Simon. I apologize for the trouble and pain that my shortsightedness has caused them, and I wish them long and prosperous lives. Sincerely yours..."
"...Francine Frensky."
"Here!" Francine blurted out.
Mr. Wald nodded at her. "George Nordgren."
"Here," said George, raising his hand.
Upon finishing the roll call, Mr. Wald gazed out over the students in his charge, which now consisted of boys Arthur, Binky, George, Van, and Adil, and girls Francine, Muffy, Fern, Beat, and Mavis.
"How nice," he remarked. "It's five and five again."
THE END
