Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Blah.
Chapter III- Smut, Silliness, and Slashfics!
"Whatcha doin?"
Hermione eyed her husband, who was peeking over her shoulder. He had an impish look on his face as he stared at her near-blank computer screen.
"YOU of all people should know!" she replied, clearly irate. "I'm writing a darn fanfic."
He surveyed her page, a pensive look written on his face. "It looks…..dull," he commented, reaching over to cup her hands in his own, taking control of the keyboard. "Was our 7th year really that boring?"
Looking up at the established text, he began to read. "Hermione, Harry, and Ron walked down the hall into the library. Reaching up, Hermione pushed open the door, and gasped at what she saw. Wow, dear, that's brilliant." He mumbled sarcastically. "What does she see, a brand new edition of Hogwarts: A History?"
She smacked his arm. "She sees…..I don't know. Something surprising."
Draco grinned, and began typing.
"It was Draco Malfoy, mysterius, no, wait, mysteriously clad in only black satin boxers, and leather pants. Hermione gasped again, her face flushing a sexy rose colour, as her hands reached towards her...."
"Mal-FOY!" she shrieked, sounding exactly like her 13-year old bookworm self. "We're in the library, dammit!"
"You told me he likes the library…." He protested. "Besides, this is YOUR story, does it really matter where we are?"
"Harry and Ron are there! They would beat you up!"
He stared at her for a second, then it dawned on him. "Right! She made us mortal enemies, didn't she? Yes, I remember now, Ron is Harry's best friend!" He frowned. "But does it really matter?"
Groaning, Hermione pushed his hands off hers, and leaned back, ready for another lecture. "In Fanfiction, there is a specific universe that is already established, the canon universe. If you are a highly talented writer, which I am not, you can get away with scrapping the canon, and building your own fanon universe, but I'm not going to do that. I wouldn't know where to start."
Draco squinted at the screen. "You spelt DeLacur wrong," he noted.
"It's Delacouer now, she changed it. You know, of the heart?"
He made and "o" with his mouth, and was about to point out another mistake, when Dobby burst in, holding a thin box.
"For you, Mistress, from Fred Weasley."
Hermione stood, and took the box. It was clearly from Fred's shop, Magical Moments to Mystify Muggles, a store that sold time travel objects, and other such things. She opened the box, to find an ornate pen, attached to a long, silver chain. There was a note as well. Intrigued, she flipped it open, and read.
Dear Hermione,
It has come to my attention that you have read the entire Harry Potter series. As I have known you from quite some time, I assumed that upon completion of the rather overly-large tomes, you would feel unsatisfied, and become overcome with the urge to write what the muggles call "fanfiction". Hermione choked a bit. Okay, I actually saw you complain to Ginny tomorrow about your writer's block, but I knew it nonetheless. Anyhow, in this box is a Weasley Writing Wizard, a combination of a Quick-Quotes Quill, and a Time-Turner. Just toss the chain around your neck, and concentrate on the story you wish to write. Once transported, anything you say, do, or make happen gets recorded wherever you wish, in your case, the family computer.
Cheerio,
F. Weasley
P.S. Do make me have a twin, Hermione. Out of the entire series, George is The Author's best idea.
FW
Hermione laughed quietly to herself, and pocketed the note. She picked up the "Weasley Writing Wizard" gently, and examined it.
"What is that?" Draco asked. He walked up to her, a quizzical look on his face.
"Oh," she blushed, "It's just a writing tool, that's all. A fancy pen, or something." He knew she wasn't telling the entire truth, she could tell by his calculating look, but she didn't need him knowing she needed magical help to write a simple story. Especially when he could just rip one out in no time. Even as a married couple, there was still a smidgen of competition left in their relationship. Hermione Granger could always best Draco Malfoy.
But could she really write?
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Hermione sighed, resting her head on her pillow. Her mind was spinning…..Harry fumed…….Hermione shrieked……Ron choked…..Draco stripped……DRACO STRIPPED?
Her gorgeous, delicious, handsome, sexy, hot, husband was currently sliding onto the foot of their bed, peeling of his shirt achingly slow, his right eyebrow slightly raised.
"Am I inspiring you?" he asked, huskily. She giggled girlishly, wrapping her arms around his neck, trailing tiny kisses down his neck……
(an: sadly, this is pg-13, and for language only…..maybe another time, l&l-ers)
Smiling happily, Hermione buried her head into her husband's pale chest. He stroked her hair slowly, relishing the slight waves and bumps in it.
Something was nagging in the back of his head, something that Hermione kept bringing up last night. It was weird, and slightly disturbing, but kept creeping up, like a bad penny. Knowing he was going to regret it later, Draco cleared his throat, and asked, "Do they really have stories where Harry and I are gay?"
"Where did that come from?" she asked, sitting up slightly.
"I, uh, it was just bugging me."
She gave him an oddly calculating look, then whispered, "You're not turning gay on me, are you?"
"WHAT?"
"Just kidding. I know, I was pretty curious when I found out they had stories with me paired up with Ginny." She laughed. "I read a couple, and except for the fact that I was, well, you know, they were quite nice."
An evil grin made its way across his face. "So, are you usually the butch one, or is she?"
She shrugged. "We're usually both pretty femme, though I'm dominating, since im older."
"Oh. And I suppose that I'm the dominant one in my relationships with Harry, since I'm older?"
"No, it's usually because you're evil. Remember, the Semi-evil Draco?"
"Oh yeah…."
"I haven't actually really read any of those stories….."
He looked over at her, shocked. "I thought you'd want to be the first to read them. I mean," he flushed a slight bit, "It is after all your husband, with another guy, and I thought maybe…"
"Draco Malfoy!" she said, eyes wide. "How many girls have you known? We don't get turned on by that sort of thing!"
He turned at violent shade of purple. "Okay."
They both settled down back into bed. Draco stared at the ceiling, feeling incredibly stupid.
"Draco?"
"Mhhm?"
"I might want to check out some Draco/Harry stories as, you know, research, or something. I don't like it, ok?" There was a pause. "Don't think that way."
----
Ring Ring!
Ginny MacNeil-Weasley groaned rather loudly, and ran towards the phone, curlers in her hair. Rather breathlessly, she answered it.
"Hello?"
"Ginny? It's me, Hermione."
"Hi, Mione! What's going on?"
Ginny heard Hermione sigh. "I was just wondering, well, I'm going on a vacation for a bit, and I was, well, wondering if you could watch over the kids for a bit, while Draco is at work."
She smiled. "have you finally gotten a job, Hermione? Or is this just another vacation?"
"Well, this might be it, Ginny. I think I might have found my dream job."
--------
Hermione hung up the phone, and rolled her eyes. Glancing around for anyone, she slowly pulled a heavy chain from her robes, and held it in her hand. She had told Draco that she was going, going to make things right again, and he had understood. Sort of.
Well, not really. He things I'm going to a Harry Potter convention in Canada.
She closed her eyes, threw the chain over her neck, and concentrated on Hogwarts, 1997.
Showtime.
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A/N: haha, this chappie was a bit stupid, but I needed it to build up to the next one, which is….(dumdumdum)…Hermione TAKING OVER HER FANFIC! (but will Draco discover where she really is?)
R&R!
