Name: Professor Adam Balm

Age: 48

Sex: Male oriented

Offspring: I'm not going there... still stuck in a lawsuit.

Place of origin: Well, there's this swamp, you see...

Greatest Love: "You're a pretty pillow, aren't you! You're just too cute!"

Hair Color: Purple

Eye Color: Purple

Favorite Color: Not purple

Fav. Food: Purple people. (They annoy me...)

Fav. Book: "It is their pleasure to open for you, and their satisfaction to close again with the knowledge of a job well done."

Fav. Movie: "He started it!" "I don't care who started it, I'm gonna finish it!"

Fav. Song: "Why are entire years strewn on the cutting room floor of memory, when single frames from one magic night forever flicker in close-up on the 3D Imax of my mind?"

Hobbies: Reading, and annoying teachers.

Worst Subject: Astronomy.

Best Subject: Defense Against the Dark Arts.

Fav. Subject: Transfiguration

One Wish: That school would be more fun. I WANT A PERMANENT WEEKEND!!!

Quote: "Roses are red, violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, revenge is too."