Chapter 8…I think I'm on chapter 8…can't remember…damn I need to stay on track!

BrackenFae: You rock! Thanks for reviewing just about every chapter. That goes to all of my other reviewers, stay on track with each chapter, and feel free to review them all! ;)

Warning: This chapter contains brief nudity. This chapter also contains the word ass an excessive amount of times. Thus I atone.

Chapter 8

Mission: Thong

The new style was wearing thongs over pants. Why? I have no clue, but Balamb Garden has apparently taken a turn to insanity. And, insanity's advocate was Selphie. Nobody actually knew what she did, never knew if she kept them sane with her sudden need to party, or if she just turned them over to being more insane.

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…Anyway, as I was saying…

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People were wearing thongs over their pants. Headmaster Cid was even rumored to be spotted with one, and for some reason nobody ever got into trouble. Not even with a strict uniform code that was not to be violated. Well, 360 students had already violated it, yet, nothing was done. Was it because Cid himself did it also, or was it because he too went insane? Well, I'll tell you one thing, if he had gone insane, I really wouldn't be surprised.

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It was on a midsummer night, July 4th, who the hell knows what year; Balamb Garden would undergo the biggest party yet, resulting in the new style of thongs over pants. I couldn't summarize this event in less than 150 words even if I tried. So far we've had amazing parties consisting of thongs and drunk people, we've had parties with the strangest auctions, parties with endless grinding and music, and of course parties with lots and lots of…well, poetry and tomatoes.

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Here is the touching story, dating back five minutes, of this amazing and emotional event in history.

The cafeteria was quite, except for one group of abnormals.

"And that's how a girl wears a thong," Selphie finished proudly after having just explained the ways of a thong to Squall, Zell, Irvine and Seifer. They just stared at her. "I don't know if it's possible for a guy to wear a thongs, seeing as how they have…well…" Selphie never finished that sentence. By the time she was done with it, Squall's face was a lovely shade of crimson. It even had a little bit of purple. Pretty!

Quistis took the thong and stretched it out with her hands. "Who the hell could fit in this thong? Looks like it came from Catherine's Plus Sizes," Quistis said, tossing the thong to Rinoa.

"Selphie and I found it outside of Cid's office," Rinoa said, trying not to laugh. "We think he might wear have an obsession…or worse…wear thongs."

"What's wrong with that!?" Zell interrupted.

They all just stared at him. For all they knew, Zell wore woman's underwear. That explained all the wedgies.

Seifer took the thong, holding it above his head. "So that goes up your ass?"

Selphie threw her hand to her mouth and stated giggling. "I wouldn't say it in such a harsh tone!"

"Yeah," Seifer began, "but doesn't it hurt? I mean, being up your ass and all, wouldn't it?"

"No! 'Course not!" Selphie said as if it was a normal thing. Seifer just shook his head unable to understand.

"Seifer, it goes up your ass in such a way it begins to give you a feeling it isn't even there," Squall said trying to clear things up.

"Up your ass…And how the hell would you know?!" Seifer stood up, backing away from Squall.

Rinoa put her hand over her face and turned away from this event.

"I uh, well, I uh," Squall stuttered.

"YOU'VE WORN A THONG!" Seifer pointed his hand to Squall accusingly.

Squall smiled and stood up on the table. "Damn right I have! And godammit, I am proud!"

They all gasped and stared at him, except Rinoa who still was turned around in embarrassment.

"Rinoa's thong to be exact!"

This time, Rinoa was really ready to die. She turned even farther away from the bunch, and held both of her hands in front of her face.

"And her bra!"

Shit.

"Dude, thanks for sharing!" some random person said to Squall, and walked off disgusted.

"Well, I have," he finished frankly.

"So, you've had this thing…" Seifer took the thong and tugged on it. "up your ass?"

"Hey, its no different than having boxers up your ass," Zell cut in.

"No dude, it like, isn't. This frilly thing goes up some person's ass. I mean…"

Selphie shot him a glare.

"But seriously, who could wear these things up their ass?"

Seifer was hopeless.

"It's way shoved up your ass! It would be painful! I can't even stand having boxers up my ass-"

"Girls are the only ones who can stand them, okay?!" Selphie cut Seifer off, hitting her forehead in frustration. "Okay!? And you could too if you gave it a chance!" Selphie said, yanking the thong from Seifer.

With that, Seifer gave her a serious look. Drama was soon to unfold.

"Maybe I will…give it a chance. I just thought that maybe…maybe it would be easier. I never imagined it would be this hard. With all my friends together beside me-"

"Seifer," Squall cut in. "What the hell are you talking about? We don't need the whole Final Fantasy X speech!"

"Okay, sorry. But it goes up your-"

"Ass!" Headmadster Cid cut in. Somehow Cid just…showed up at the most random moments.

"Up your ass?' a random person joined in asking.

"Up your ass," Cid confirmed.

Then, there was a long moment of silence. They finally had it covered that thongs go up people's asses.

Cid then sat at the table, holding a few people's hands that had sat down next to him.

"I love you guys," he stated.

They all stared at him.

"I just…love you all. I am so glad I found out the way of the thong around you people. I just didn't know if I was wearing it correctly."

Seifer got up and started backing slowly away from Cid. The other students just got up quickly and ran away. Cid got a hurt expression on his face, and walked out of the cafeteria.

"Up your-"

"Ass!" three people yelled, cutting of Seifer's confirmation.

"So," Rinoa began. "What have we learned today?"

"VOLUNTEER!" came in Fuujin's loud voice. She walked up to the table and demonstrated how a thong was put on. I won't go into detail, but, I will tell you by the end of the small event that took place at that moment, a few kids attempted plucking their eyes out. Her whole demonstration consisted of her pulling down her pants and, uh, well…demonstrating… for lack of a better word.

Now with that vision which I sadly put into all of your heads, just like Squall's thong experience, I am truly sorry, but I will tell you I am in hysterics at this moment, in shock at my complete stupidity.

To be continued:

Next week, we will proceed onto the party. I wrote it all out in one chapter, but it was too big, so I split it up. Sorry for the delay and sorry if it wasn't funny. Leave lots of reviews in the meantime! They all mean so much!