Author: l'Ciel
Disclaimer: J.K.'s, as you all know...
Rating: R
Pairings: SS/TR, SS/LM & SB/RL implied
Genre: dark-fiction, drama, horror
Warnings: Violence, Non-Con, Rape, BDSM, suicide attempts
Summary: After returning to his right mind and body, the dark lord also regains his libido. Prey to his hunt is the traitor Severus Snape, who suffers the dark one's urges, until it all gets too much... Will he find a way out of that vicious circle of influence, pain and lust? darkfic
Harry Potter and the Tale of the Traitor
Harry Potter and the Tale of the Traitor 1
I: Return (Prologue) 1
II: Blurred Sensations (Chemical Love) 2
III: Moonlight Crisis (Only Way Out) 7
IV: Mind Games (Induced Nightmares) 11
V: Fear of the Dark (Hurt and Danger) 13
VI: Lux Vos Liberabit (Epilogue) 17
I: Return (Prologue)
August 1996, Surrey
The holidays were even worse than the years before. Nightmares about Sirius' death plagued the Boy-Who-Lived night in and night out, and if he finally found some sleep he would soon wake up with a throbbing pain in his head. He didn't feel much of it anyway, he felt nothing but the never ending numbness inside him. It just hurt too much to cry.
Then, after two weeks at the Dursleys, he got an owl from the headmaster saying that some members of the Order would fetch him and bring him to Hogwarts to protect the Muggles from possible attacks at Number Four Privet Drive. Since the official return of Voldemort it was not safe there anymore and Dumbledore did not want to endanger Harry's relatives any further.
So he would spent the remaining holidays at the castle, not that he minded, really. It didn't matter where he was. But at least he would be able to learn a bit at school.
The Order members came that evening, through the front door not to frighten the Muggles. Harry was happy to see Remus and Tonks again, and even Moody's presence was nice. He felt safe among the aurors and the distraction kept the pain at a bearable limit.
-
Remus Lupin smiled when he saw his old friend's son. He had always liked Harry a lot and was concerned about his welfare after Sirius' death. Harry was pale and too skinny, but seemed healthy. Obviously he had found a way to deal with the loss.
He sighed mournfully. Sirius had always meant a lot to him. First as a friend, later as a confidant and shoulder to lean on, and later more, when everything got too much. Then Sirius had gone to Azkaban, leaving Remus behind, hurt and confused. The brunette had never accepted the fact that Padfoot had killed Lily and James. He simply couldn't imagine it. It didn't fit his long time comrade to side with the Dark Lord and betray his friends.
When Sirius had resurfaced three years ago and sought his help, he was more than eager to offer it to him. Remus had learned not to give a damn about what other people said in his life, so he didn't care when the neighbours looked when he was talking to a dog all day. In the nights, when the lights went out, Sirius could transform back into his human shape and they talked more mutual. Sirius was only a shadow of his former self, but he recovered quickly.
And then he died. Not even a body to burry remained. No grave to visit...
After he and the others had delivered Harry to Hogwarts and he had drank some tea with the headmaster, Remus had went back to his flat at Diagon Alley. The times for werewolves were better now, since the Ministry had released the new law of equality for "tamed" werewolves, which meant that every werewolf who took the Wolfsbane potion regularly was seen as an equal to all other witches and wizards. Now he was able to take up his position at Hogwarts again and other things, like finding a space for living, were much easier for him now.
But that did not help against the depression that had bothered him since Sirius' demise. He just could not cope with it anymore. An easy solution he had soon found in the pub down Nocturne Alley, called Absinth. Though illegal, it was sold in the back of the Mewling Monkey. The bright green liquid gave you a more colourful and happier, dumber world, at least for an evening. It would have to stop before he returned to teaching, but for now it did its purpose.
It was nearly three am when he left the Monkey, but the hallucinating ecstasy would hold another hour or two. It was quite obvious that he was totally high when he saw a man standing at the doorway to his flat. He leaned heavily against the wall, his eyes dull and cast to the ground. Remus shook his head and reached out just to prove the man was an illusion. The image twisted and disappeared. Stumbling he made his way up the stairs, eyes burning, but he never reached the door. Everything became blurry and he blacked out.
II: Blurred Sensations (Chemical Love)
A chilling wind blew over the fields as Severus Snape ascended the hill to old manor on the very top. The wards around the house had hindered him from apparating directly into the manor and so he had to take the long way.
When he finally reached the front doors he was frozen to the bone. It was warm inside the hall, the shimmering red glow of the fire lead him to a slightly opened door. As he had been here before he knew it led to one of the smaller living-rooms called the "salon."
He pushed the door quietly and entered said room, feeling slightly warmer. The walls were painted deep burgundy red, just like the couches and arm-chairs in front of the huge black marble fireplace. Long ebony curtains hid the world outside the windows from view. The floor was made of the same marble as the fireplace, but rich oriental carpets gave the room a warm and luxurious atmosphere. The portraits on the walls were usual Muggle pictures though, and the only light source in the room was the fire.
Severus knew he was not alone, even without seeing the reddish eyes glowing in the corner.
"I'm here, as you wanted, my lord,"
"You are late, Severus," a dark, silky voice said from behind him and made him shudder.
"A new change, if I may ask? Your voice sounds different today, Master,"
"Yes, a change indeed. Though not new, but back to the old, my loyal servant,"
Severus did not like the tone in which his master pronounced "loyal" and decided to remain silent, when Voldemort spoke again.
"I had a little...issue with my last shape and it was necessary to transform back into a... more human status. Admittedly, there were problems with my mental health in the new mode."
"I...I did never notice anything-"
"Of course you did. That obsession with Potter was sick. But I can understand, Severus, that it is hard to criticise your own master. Unfortunately, the other changes vanished as well,"
"What exactly are you hinting at, my lord? I don't understand."
"I'm perfectly human again, like I used to be – just Tom Riddle," he said with an ironic touch.
Snape gasped. His lord had dreaded his name and killed anybody who ever spoke it in his presence. What had occurred to change his mind? This was a serious shift, something he had never expected. But then – he should have, after all he brewed the potions for it lately.
"How thrilling, my lord. May I ask if you intend to change it again?"
"I won't. It is not necessary and I feel... better now. I am myself again, without those ill-fated obsessions about Potter."
"What? But I-"
"You thought a lot, Severus, but I know you better than that. Do you really believe I never noticed your treachery? I, the most brilliant mind Hogwarts has seen in centuries?"
"No, my lord, I never would dare-"Severus cried.
"Would you? I don't believe you," Voldemort said sweetly, his eyes shining darkly. "But I kept you alive," he continued colder, "Mostly because I needed you. And I was not completely sure until this summer when somebody tried to remove your mark. Yes, Severus, I know he did. But only I can set you free, my servant."
"..."
"Any last words?"
"Please, my lord..."
"Then we should progress from here,"
"I, b-"
"No buts, Snape. I don't want to kill you right now."
"I...I don't know what to make of that..."
"You are a traitor, but you are highly intelligent, one I always liked a lot. You are allowed to make up for it."
"I see. And how can I help you?"
"Would it be blunt to just ask you to entertain me a bit?"
"There are blunter things, my lord," Snape said, trying hard not to scream.
"I guess you are right. Tea while we sit here?" Tom asked and came into the light near the fire.
Severus was amazed. His master had been a beautiful young man, he had heard of that, but never seen him any other way but with a face like a snake and red glowing, deadly eyes. Tom was handsome. His eyes were still starling crimson, the skin pale, but his nose straight and well sized. His body seemed to be in a fit state, which was not entirely visible under the rich burgundy robes, the black hair waist long, a few strands of grey at the temples. These were the only signs of his older age. The man in his seventies looked like one in his late thirties, just like Severus.
"Have you stared long enough now, my servant?"
"I am very sorry, I could not help myself... "
Tom smiled genuinely and took his wand to summon some tea for them, before he sat down in an armchair, gesturing Severus to sit in the one next to it. The potions master sat down...
-
Tea was finished and Severus looked wearily at Tom when said man got up from his seat and held his hand out. He did not intend to jeopardise his luck today, so he took it hesitantly and his master pulled him onto his feet. Severus, who had not been prepared for the rash move, stumbled forward, directly into Tom's arms. When he wanted to back away, he felt two strong arms close around him.
The embrace was tight and somewhat needy. Severus stiffened when he felt his master's hot breath on his neck. Tom had buried his face in Severus' black hair, inhaling the scent of his "victim," before he bit down on the pale flesh. The man went slightly limp in his arms and he released the skin, licking the red mark playfully, before he pulled back a few centimetres to watch Severus' face. Tom had never seen the hooked, oversized nose as ugly, although the potions master's hair badly needed a wash.
"Let me show you the real amount of Lord Voldemort's good will, shall I, my dear Severus?"
AN:: The next section of the chapter was edited (deleted) coz threw it off the first go, coz of the rating was violated in their opinion. But alas, you get the edited version here and the whole thing at my homepage (hopefully soon, I need to reconstruct it first, or via e-mail/review to me)
When he awoke, the first thing he noticed was the pain in his lower back. He couldn't remember clearly what had happened the night before, but when he felt the warmth spooned behind him, he grew alerted and turned around, suddenly facing his master.
Severus could see that the dark lord was still asleep and slowly the memories came back, together with heavy nausea. He struggled free of the covers and ran out of the room, still totally naked and raced to the bathroom to throw up for the next quarter hour. When he remerged from the bathroom, he had already found his clothes shredded into pieces in the bathroom bin, so he silently searched the other rooms of the house for a wardrobe to find a robe or something to wear. He hadn't searched long when he found an old dresser in and empty bedroom further along the corridor that led back to the room Voldemort was in.
Ten minutes later Severus Snape, broken and depressed, walked his way back down the hill to avoid the wards, before he could apparate back to Hogwarts, wearing a long, expensive deep green robe with silver embroideries, long sleek black boots and a pair of black silk trousers underneath, because he couldn't find anything else. He just wanted to die!
-
From the window the Dark Lord watched his servant stumble down the path, knowing he would return anyway. Severus could not be broken by beatings, he knew that, but by his own body betraying him in every way, loosing control and loosing himself to the darkness of sweet pain. Tom had learned that long ago...
III: Moonlight Crisis (Only Way Out)
The week had passed quickly without any irregularities. Remus, who had returned to Hogwarts over the holidays, and Harry were fooling around, Albus eating his lemon drops and plotting for the upcoming war, Voldemort made his evil plans and Severus disappeared in the evenings and only returned in the early morning, quickly locking himself in his dungeons. But even Albus was too preoccupied to notice the dull shallow eyes of the teacher.
-
The grounds beneath the castle were only illuminated by the sinking full moon. A rustling between the bushes caught the werewolf's attention. Lupin had taken his Wolfsbane earlier that day, so he kept his consciousness whilst the change.
He lifted his head and gazed over the dark plain area that was the lake when he saw something–no, somebody–near the water. Silently, he approached the human and scented the familiar smell of the person. Severus Snape.
Lupin had seen the shadows under his colleagues eyes over the last weeks and knew the reason very well. Snape had been summoned on a nearly daily basis and after every meeting he looked shallower and more tired. He refused to see Madam Pomfrey, even after the headmaster himself had made his suggestions after the latest 'event.' Because of an Order meeting, Remus knew that Albus had offered Severus the opportunity to quit his position in the Dark Lord's inner circle if he wanted to, because there was a new source of information, but Snape had refused that as well. The "other source," which Dumbledore kept a secret, had given the headmaster information, which the old wizard had shared with Lupin, about Severus Snape.
As the had source said, there had only been two regular meetings over the last month and even the high ranking generals of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named like Lucius Malfoy or Bellatrix Lestrange had only been with their Lord three times. He had been awfully quiet over the last month... well, since Snape had begun disappearing so often.
Lupin wondered what Snape was doing there when the moon sank and he felt the change back to his human form coming. He rolled himself together on the ground and waited for the pain to ebb away, before he gathered his robes from a tree trunk near the lake and made his way back to the castle. He then remembered what his wolf form had seen at the lake. Snape...
When the DADA professor arrived at the spot where he had seen the Potions master the last time he sucked in his breath. Snape stood in the cold water hip high and gazed into the water in front of him, slowly taking another step and another...
"Snape WAIT!" Lupin yelled and the other man turned around. His eyes were tear streaked and his somehow changed face had a look of fear in it.
"Go away Lupin,"
"What the hell are you doing there? Come out of the water or- Merlin - you didn't, did you?"
"Just leave me be,"
"Snape – Severus, you can't seriously do that! Come here, NOW!"
"You don't get it, do you? LEAVE ME ALONE!"
"No."
"..."
Snape glared and took another step. The water reached his mid torso now. Lupin noticed another tear rolling down the professor's face and he decided to take matters into his own hands. Snape's wand swam on the water surface, the slight waves toying with the wood.
"Accio wand! Accio Snape!" the werewolf yelled and both items were pulled out of the water towards him, flying into his arms. Unfortunately, he recognized the danger too late and the spell caster was thrown over onto the ground by the other flying man.
When he had recovered from the little shock, the next thing he felt was a slap over the face. Snape glared at him angrily and tried to slap him again, but this time Lupin was prepared and caught the spy's hands, turning the furious man over and straddled him carefully, not to hurt him, on the wet grass. Snape bucked and fought against him first like a captured animal, but soon his attempts got weaker and eventually, he snorted in defeat and glared at the man on top of him. Lupin got off, but still hold onto the man's wrists. Whatever he had been expecting, this wasn't it. Snape's eyes suddenly flew open wide and he cramped up in pain.
Lupin, who did not know what to do, cradled the whimpering man into his arms and rubbed soothing circles on his back until the tremors faded away slightly and Snape chocked a few words, "Injured, numbing spell...off...help...my chamber...please...I, I..."
Nothing more. Snape had fainted in his arms and just now Lupin saw the traces of blood on his hands, which had touched the back of Snape's robe. He carefully turned the limb body around and... blood everywhere!
Lupin quickly pulled the dark stained and wet robes off his colleague to inspect the wounds closer. He nearly fainted as well; Snape's back was bleeding with several cuts and lashes that might have come from a rather nasty whip, his neck showed little bruises under a leather collar he still wore loosely, and... Lupin swallowed hard... blood was running down his thighs, visible through the white garments which themselves were only to be seen because the black pants Snape usually wore under his robes were ripped apart in obvious anger – or need...
Remus felt numb when he lifted the motionless body in his arms and ran towards the castle. Snape was awfully light in his arms and he swore to look after the man from now on, if he could not do it for himself.
Poppy did not seem too surprised by Snape's condition, though. Grimily, she explained.
"He looks like that after nearly every meeting, as do some others,"
"What do you mean with some others?"
"A few older Slytherins, but as a healer I stick to my silence in those matters. Ask Albus if you want to know more. Back to Severus. It wouldn't be the first time but lately it's too much, too often. You understand what I mean?"
"Yes, yes, of course,"
"I see, you don't, but it doesn't matter. Could you please give me that internal healing potion over there?"
"Internal?"
"Did you believe his injuries where all external? Mostly, they are, but you never know."
"Why does he do that?"
"Ask him yourself – I don't know. But I'd advise him a long, peaceful rest for the next several weeks. He needs some time to recover; physically as well as mentally,"
"I think that can be arranged,"
"I doubt Severus will like it, but this definitely goes too far. He won't recover completely, if he keeps up this pace. He has to learn that he is only human like everybody else here!"
"I know, Poppy. I will talk to the headmaster..."
"That would be best, I think."
"Poppy?"
"He was trying to drown himself when I found him,"
"OHMIGOD, Fuck! Has this man completely lost it? ALBUS!!!"
Seconds later the headmaster rushed in, while Remus was still rubbing his ears. He saw Snape lying in the cot and sighed.
"Not again Poppy, please,"
"I fear it gets worse. He was trying to commit suicide when Remus here found him. By chance, I might add. Albus, he must not go again. I'm certain it will kill him sooner or later, if he does."
"I told him so, but he wouldn't listen to me. He's free to go wherever he wants, cleared of all charges, but I fear he is captured in his own guilt for his past mistakes,"
"I think he needs some counselling,"
"He refused,"
"What else..." Poppy muttered irritably.
"But now he has overstepped his boundaries. If he doesn't go willingly, I'll have to force him into a break. Necessarily, he won't be able to go far, with Voldemort as an ongoing threat. Maybe Canine will take him in for a while. What do you think, Remus?"
"Snape and werewolves? Are you crazy!"
"Maybe, I never noticed though. Lemon drop?"
"Addict!" Poppy mumbled form Severus' cot, "Needs his drops around everywhere!"
-
The man paced up and down behind his desk in the sparely lit room. Frustrated, he slammed the book in his hand shut and threw it into the bin. He took another volume from the pile on his desk and flipped through it. After several minutes he smiled and closed the book carefully, before he touched the emerald and silver pendant that hung around his neck at a sliver chain.
"Snape," he spoke harshly, "Come to me. I need you here, now!"
"Snape?"
-
In the infirmary in Hogwarts another man, who had just slept peacefully, woke up screaming and clutched his left arm to his chest. The nurse tried to calm him, but to no avail. The headmaster rushed inside, followed by the current DADA Lupin.
"Severus, ignore the call. You will never go there again,"
"I have to go Albus," was the only reply. Snape got up from the infirmary bed and pulled his robes, which were neatly folded on the night stand, over the nightshirt he wore.
"No, Severus. It's become too much for you-"
"Don't stick your nose into my business, Dumbledore," Snape growled. He limped toward the fireplace and threw a pinch of floo-powder into the flames, which immediately turned green.
"Severus, I insist you stay. Impedimenta!" Albus yelled, furious with worry.
Severus' movements stopped and Poppy levitated him back to the cot. The hate and despair in his eyes could not be healed like the broken bones and bruised skin.
IV: Mind Games (Induced Nightmares)
Lucius rolled his eyes behind the mask. Gods, he was lucky to have it or the Dark Lord would certainly curse him six times back to Sunday for making faces. Voldemort was seething with anger at Snape not returning. Or more likely, not having his pet to play with anymore. That Lucius had known of for quite some time, but of course never mentioned.
He was so sick of it! But at least 'working' at the ministry he had some advantages. While being a death eater was not that bad, he despised the servitude towards their lord. Being a Ministry official albeit kept him in a powerful position, quite satisfying indeed. Actually, Lucius enjoyed the whole thing very much.
He simply wasn't a good person.
Not a good man, not a good husband, but certainly a good Death Eater, a brilliant schemer and a cold-hearted bastard deluxe. One day, he would be free bastard, too.
Back to business. Riddle called his name and he stepped forward, prepared for what was about to come.
"What happened at the Ministry the last few weeks, Lucius?" the bastard demanded and he had trouble suppressing his distain.
"Fudge hung himself and Amelia Bones took over the lead. With her, unfortunately, Dumbledore has gained much influence back and the Department of Magical Law Enforcement and the Order of the Phoenix, along with the Department of Mysteries, are all working together now. The enemy's forces surpass ours by more than a few hundreds and I am afraid that an attack against the Ministry, Hogwarts or the Order headquarters, if we find them, would be our end. They have become much too strong to defeat by sheer force. And we cannot operate under-cover because there must be a spy within our midst," Lucius summarized coldly and hoped Riddle would not curse him for saying the truth about the situation.
Then, suddenly, Riddle smiled and, relieved, Lucius returned to his usual place in the circle.
-
Albus sighed and got up from the chair beside the bed in the far corner of the infirmary. The figure huddled beneath the sheets flinched and buried his head deeper in the pillow. Ever since Albus had forbid him to return to his post, Severus had become more and more absent. After the thirtieth explosion in the Potions classroom Severus could - should - have prevented within the first week, Albus had given him a forced break from teaching as well. And now, five weeks after Voldemort disappeared, Severus was nothing but a shivering heap of misery.
The doors to the hospital wing suddenly flew open and Sinistra marched in.
"How's Snape doing?" she asked, slightly concerned.
"Not well, I fear. What about the applicants. Anything new?"
"Well, aside from the woman yesterday with the puppy and the canaries, only one more applied...", Sinistra swallowed.
"Who?"
"Gilderoy Lockhart."
"Actually,", Minerva's voice came from behind, "I think I would prefer the Aunty."
"Now, now, children!", Dumbledore made them both blush, "Why don't you wait until it is sure we have no other applications. And please don't yell so loud. This is an infirmary.", he said, eyes twinkling mirthfully, as a dark shadow loomed over Sinistra's and Minerva's back.
"Poppy!"
-
The room was dark. Deep wicked laughter filled the air together with the heat from the fireplace, when the man, chained to the heavy mantle of it, screamed in agony. After the first time, Voldemort had refrained from using aphrodisiacs. To see his slave in pain was much more satisfying for him than the long moans. Later he would get at some point anyway.
The pale, scarred body bucked, when the manacles around his wrists grew hotter form the fire, from which the chains came. A hand came down on his sore backside and he flinched, trying to crawl away, but the hands held him in place, so much stronger than he could ever be.
And wasn't this the message?
To never rise above your master?
The slave cried out, biting his bloody lip. Red drops ran down his chin, when the master nibbled at his earlobe from behind. The shackles jumped open and released his burnt wrists, while his upper body sacked to the floor in front of the fire.
/No, please no!/
Severus screamed and Albus carefully held the scarred wrists down, while he forced a calming potion down the others throat. After some painfully long seconds, Severus went limp in his arms and he laid him back down on the sheets.
"Merlin help him!", Albus prayed, but he had no choice anymore. Tomorrow, he would contact the specialists at St. Mungos.
"Sir?", a meek voice from behind roused him from his brooding.
"What is it, Harry?", he asked kindly.
"Will Professor Snape be alright?", the boy asked, his concerned eyes flicking to the screen in the far corner of the hospital wing.
Albus sighed.
"I don't know, Harry, I don't know..."
V: Fear of the Dark (Hurt and Danger)
I am a man who walks alone, and when I'm walking a dark road
at night or strolling trough the park
When the lights begin to change I sometimes feel a little strange
a little anxious when It's dark
Fear of the dark, fear of the dark
I have a constant fear that something's always near
Have you run your fingers down the wall
And have you felt your neck skin crawl
When you're searching for the light?
Sometimes when you're scared to take a look
At the corner of the room
You've sensed that something's watching you
Fear of the dark, fear of the dark
I have a phobia that someone's always there
(Iron Maiden)
The blonde sat on the wide windowsill, nursing his wounds, mere scratches, but still painful as there were so many. His arms and calves were wound with the crisscross of fine, shallow cuts inflicted by that sadist McNair, by Voldemort's order. Since about two months ago, when the Dark Lord had regained his old human self, crueller and more determined than ever before, he had ruthlessly cleaned his ranks of traitors. Severus had only been the first to break.
Oh, his poor sensitive Severus, all emotion hid behind the steeled mask. From the day he had first laid his eyes on him, barely eleven then, the black-haired lanky boy had fascinated him. Stubbornly he had defied everybody else. Poorer than even the Weasleys, a bastard, his stepfather a gambler and drinker, his mother an uncaring, depressed adulteress. He remembered her briefly, sitting next to the window in a dirty room, caressing her swollen, obviously pregnant belly. Severus had stood a few steps away, gazing out of the window. It was the last time mother and son had met. She had died soon after, by drinking a poison, along with the unborn baby. Severus had probably inherited her once sharp wit and talent for Potions. His impression of her had been cold, just like her pale, long hands. Another thing Severus had inherited from her, only that Severus' hands were even colder.
Severus...
Even after decades, was an enigma – even Riddle had taken an interest in him.
-
Many miles north, Harry Potter lingered in the corridor to the infirmary. Eventually Pomfrey noticed him and after many puppy-dog eyes and pouting, he was allowed to enter. Over the holidays there was nothing much to do around the castle, apart from homework which he had finished after the first few weeks. It was mid-August, two more weeks to go before the new term started.
/Sixth year!/ he thought, /Only two more.../
And then?
Defeating Voldemort or being defeated, in which case he needn't worry anymore. And if he did IT, then what? Becoming an auror, if he got the necessary grades. He doubted Snape would allow him into his NEWT class, but if Snape was going insane, maybe the new teacher would...
Shuddering, he remembered the night last week when Lupin had visited the dour Potions master. Dumbledore had been there, too. Harry, who had just passed by on his way to the library, had by chance heard parts of their conversation and had stayed to listen.
Flashback
"I'd miss his 'charming' self. Merlin, he did not deserve this!" Lupin exclaimed, his voice full of desperation and misery – possibly empathy, or pity.
"I know Remus, but even before Riddle did that to him, his mental stability was questionable. The soul simply cannot deal with the stress he was under. I fear we've finally lost him,"
"He looks horrible. Have you seen his wrists – what did that monster do?" Remus asked shakily. Dumbledore sighed heavily.
"You do not want to know, but maybe I should tell you. I suppose you'd prefer the truth over rumours. I presume it stared in late June, when Tom regained his human state. As far as I know, he started raiding his ranks for traitors. Some of the Ministry's and two of our own informers died after hours of torture, first under Cruciatus, then other monstrosities, and in the end, the killing curse. We can only guess why Severus stayed alive, but we know what happened to him. I copied his memories, or at least shreds of what he could remember. Believe me, it is horrible, utterly horrible. Riddle used aphrodisiacs to make him comply with his 'treatments' and when he tired of this, about a week before Severus attempted suicide, when you found him, he stared to chain him to a fireplace, the chains in the fire, getting hotter with the passing time. He raped him repeatedly and very roughly the last few times, though he was astoundingly gentle in the beginning, probably to break his will. I fear he succeeded, for my dear, poor, poor boy has lost his will to live..."
Harry was shocked to hear Dumbledore cry silently. The old wizard's heaved sobs unsettled him greatly, and Lupin seemed at a loss of what to say.
End Flashback
"Can I see Professor Snape, Madam Pomfrey?" he asked tentatively.
"Oh, before you hang around here all day, by Merlin, do so – BUT – be absolutely silent, don't make any rash moves and don't unsettle him in any way possible. If anything happens, fetch me immediately. Fine – he's over there, in the back," the mediwitch huffed.
"Thanks!" Harry faked a smile and carefully approached the screen and bed behind it.
Snape looked horrible, Harry thought, when he had finally found enough clues that THIS was actually his former professor. The Potions master had been thin and bony before, but now he was only bones and pale, sick-looking skin. His joints stuck out and the light blue nightshirt could not conceal the frail body. His hair was clean for once – obviously Madam Pomfrey's doing, and his hands free of potion stains.
But the eyes were what frightened Harry most. The ebony depths that were once filled with malice and sarcasm stared empty into the nothingness above the window. An IV linked his ghostly white arm to a bottle filled with a clear reddish fluid hanging over the bed. White sheets, even whiter than Snape's skin – if that was possible. His inky hair made a sharp contrast to it and pronounced his sharp features even more. There were also several magical screens and lots of things Harry had never seen before.
Still, there was a certain serenity to the picture – until Snape noticed Harry's presence near him.
The black orbs widened and his whole body started to shiver. A skeletal hand motioned him nearer. Swallowing hard, Harry complied.
"Po..tter," Snape's raspy voice was less than a swish of air in the sterile white room.
"Professor? Should I fetch Madam Pomfrey? Are you okay?" Harry asked concerned.
"N..no. Not Poppy," Snape snorted weakly and suddenly clutched Harry's hand, "You... must be... careful, don't let him get you – never leave the castle without somebody to accompany you – hear you! He... HE... will-"the noise of the nurse's heels stopped him.
"Mr. Potter – did I not tell you not to bother the poor professor?" Pomfrey demanded and ushered the boy out of the room behind the screen, "And YOU, Severus – oh my god – you scared us. Are you any better?" she sniffed and tucked the blankets back around his form.
"I'll... manage. Dum..ble-"he never finished, because the headmaster was already rushing through the doors toward his bed.
"Severus!" Dumbledore shouted and quickly sat down at the Potions master's side. "How are you?"
"Bloody fucking unwell, but I'll manage," Snape sighed warily, "Mark... woke me up,"
"Are you in great pain? Poppy can give you a local sedative, if need be, since you obviously cannot answer the call-"
"I have to...cannot disobey...he- master..."
"You will not leave this wing under any circumstances, Severus. Your duty with Tom is officially cancelled."
"But..."
"He will never hurt you again," Albus sighed sadly, caressing the younger man's palm.
Snape nodded absentmindedly and closed his eyes to block out the pain. The headmaster motioned Poppy to prepare a sleeping draught. Soon later Severus was peacefully asleep.
-
The remaining weeks of the summer holidays passed by quietly. Even Voldemort seemed to have taken a break from terrorizing Wizarding Britain and lay low. It was the last weekend before school would start anew when Dumbledore called Harry to his office. The gargoyle jumped aside and the black-haired lanky boy climbed the stairs. During the last few month he had grown quite a bit and stood now about 5'8", not much, but 6 inches more than only half a year before!
The heavy oak door opened and the headmaster motioned him to take a seat while he conjured some tea. After taking a few sips, the old wizard set the cup down.
"I have called you here for a serious, rather uncomfortable matter, Harry. And I ask you to hear me out before you reply," he sent the boy a serious glance over the half-moon glasses and continued. "After Severus' cover was blown, I had no other direct source to Voldemort's plans. Although Professor Snape was not the only spy, he was by far the best. Additionally to his duties as a double agent, he kept the Slytherins under control. Don't misinterpret me here, Harry, but SOME of them are loyal to him, while others are not. Even though those who ARE loyal followers of Voldemort are a danger to you. Especially the older ones."
He sipped another time.
"Without Severus' background information I cannot guarantee your safety here, Harry. Despite what you may think, I do not know everything going on inside the castle and you are, as you know, too important to our cause to risk your life like this. Therefore, I cannot admit you to Hogwarts for the next term, until we have cleared up some matters here. I'm sorry,"
Harry gawked at him in disbelief.
"You will, if you agree with us, stay at Grimaulds Place from now on to Christmas, in the care of Remus Lupin. I know you'd rather be with your friends, but I cannot allow it. For your own safety, Harry, not only as a irreplaceable weapon, but also as a child that is very dear to me," his eyes did not twinkle.
"I see," Harry said, stoically looking at the ceiling, "When will I depart?"
"On September 1st. You will have the welcoming meal with your house, then you will port-key to London. Remus will fetch you here at 10pm. Professor Snape will join you, by the way."
"How is he?" Harry asked, happy for the distraction. "Why isn't he staying at Hogwarts?"
"I fear Severus is not fit to teach just jet. Apart from that, the same Slytherins that might harm you will also 'watch' for him. He is a known traitor after all and Voldemort will want him dead just as much as me and you. Try to treat him nicely, will you?"
"Yes, of course. Is he any better?"
"Yes, he recovered some, at least bodily. He is physically healthy, but I worry about his state of mind. Look out for him for me, will you? Severus is like the son I never had..."
"Yes, sir. May I go now?"
"Yes, yes of course, child."
VI: Lux Vos Liberabit (Epilogue)
Unfortunately, things did not progress as the headmaster had hoped. While Voldemort and his Death Eaters lay low for the time being and Harry's skills grew with enormous speed, one was not blessed with such luck...
Severus Snape sat at the window of his small, dingy room in the attic, gazing over the roofs of the nearer parts of London. Now and then a house-elf would pop in and bring his meals, but they returned mostly untouched. Poppy had been forced to nurture him with strengthening potions, but his health seemed to be decreasing slowly day by day.
Twice a week Albus would visit him and talk to him like a sick child, telling him he'd be better soon and that he should eat more, but deep inside Severus knew that it was closing to end.
-
Around Halloween the blow finally came. Voldemort attacked Diagon Alley and St. Mungos at the same time and in the chaos most of the light forces were either captured or killed. Those who got out alive were wounded or scared shitless and nobody had the moral to strike.
About a week later a second wave of attacks hit Hogsmeade and the school. Although it could be defended and wasn't taken, there were many casualties, mostly among the staff and forest inhabitants. The grounds were stained in blood and nobody dared to leave the safety of the strong castle walls.
The Order of the Phoenix was desperate but helpless against the sheer force of death eaters, dark creatures and other vermin that overran the whole isle.
-
At his window seat, Severus still gazed over the burning roofs, when the wards fell. Dumbledore had been severely wounded in battle and the secret ripped from his weakened mind. Although the Order members and remaining aurors fought bravely, their ultimate fate would be decided in that last fateful battle on All Souls Eve.
-
The moment the wards fell, Death Eaters roamed in and quickly killed every living being they got hold of. When the Dark Lord finally approached only a handful of fighters for the light remained.
With an angry, despaired cry of pain the werewolf fell, as the silver bullet hit straight through his head. A blood leaking hole decorated his forehead in a beautiful, aesthetic way, when he lay sprawled on the marble, red spreading from the wound and running over the white floor.
The magical eyeball rolled through the puddle of blood, when the next body dropped limply to the ground, blank fear in the blue, empty eyes, the white hair sticking up messily.
A high pitched scream tore the air and soon later foam dripped from the open mouth of a pink haired witch curling next to them, her body trashing under the Cruciatus.
The list went on, and soon red slit eyes looked into deep green.
And the one thing no one had still dared to hope happened; the dark lord was defeated by Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived-On!
-
But Severus Snape did not notice anything of that. In his chair at the window he whistled softly an old lullaby his mother had once sung to him, just like he had done at her burial, when his lover had mocked him for remembering and when he had tried to sing himself into sleep after another summoning.
And then he fell asleep, all tension leaving his broken, scarred and consumed, beaten and bloodied body, which he left behind as he soared toward the light which soothed his every flaring pain and cooled the burning in his ripped soul, until he knew no more...
And fly they did,
In tight embrace-
But free to soar,
And soar they did,
To words unknown,
And never'd doubt,
The light again,
And shine it did.
And where they flew,
The sun shone bright,
Unite their light,
Forevermore.
the end
End Notes: This end seems rather rushed, and initially I planned a longer, brighter, story, but my muse wouldn't have it... (You see, the first few chapters slumbered on my PC for several month...) So be it, this is the end. For all Sevvy-fans, sorry, if you're disappointed, but I think he'll fare better in heaven, where angels will surround him – Merlin, I'm getting all mushy now – have released all my darkness into the end... I hope you liked it anyway, Special Thanks to my wonderful Beta Mary, too!!!! Your work is greatly appreciated!!! R&R
Love , l'C
