Disclaimer: I don't own harry potter. But, I own MY dobby™ (not to be confused with Canon Dobby. MY dobby™ is naughtier)

Chapter XI- Window Stalkers and Final Fantasies

Fred Weasley was sweating profusely in his little shop, Dr. VanHorny watching him the entire time. He kept flashing her nervous glances every five seconds, until finally, she spoke up.

"Why do you keep staring at me like that? I'm not going to trash your shop."

He blushed, and returned to his work. "I was just, well, I've never met a Canadian before."

She rolled her eyes at him. "Well, now you have. Good for you."

They sat in silence for a while, the doctor coming over to check up on him every couple seconds. Constructing the Writing Wizards took time, and the supply of three that Fred had stockpiled was already being used. VanHorny sat in the corner, chewing on a long plastic nail, and asked, "How long does it take you to make these?"

He looked up, weariness and fatigue written all over his face. "The last three took me almost a month to do."

Gacgchhh!

She choked violently on her plastic nail, which had become lodged in her throat. Fred jumped up, and assisted her in fishing it out.

"Are you okay?"

She waved it off, and straightened herself up on her stool. "I'm fine. Did you say a month?" He nodded. "Shit," she swore. "Dimitrius needs them by next week."

"Well poor Dimitrius," Fred muttered. "It takes time to make these things. I'll have three done in two weeks minimum."

"So, when will you get this one done?" VanHorny asked, rummaging around his things. He grabbed her hand.

"Don't. What are you looking for?"

She motioned to her loose nail. "I need some glue."

He fished some Krazy Glue™ out of the box, and she took it gratefully. "I've been working on this one for a few days. It should be ready tomorrow."

"Good." The doctor stuck the nail back on to her finger. "Dimitrius should be around this time tomorrow to pick it up."

"Dimitrius, is it?" Fred said slyly. She turned towards him, a bored look all over her face.

"Yes. That is his name, isn't it?"

"Of course." He went back to his pen. Dr. VanHorny gave him a weird look, then returned to picking her nails.

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Dobby walked nervously around the grand, old castle of magic and mystery. It had been a whirlwind of a trip, what with two young kids, and a frantic Draco Malfoy. The old house elf was glad to get away. He gave a rather squeaky sigh, and stared out the window. Many pairs of googly eyes stared back.

"EEEEK!"

The google eyes instantly disappeared, and there was a blurr of colour behind the glass. Dobby just had time to catch his breath before an entire gaggle of girls ran up to him, sunglasses on head, and notebooks in hand. A tall, blonde-haired one crept up to him, and asked in a hushed voice, "Are you the guy who plays Dobby?"

Master Draco is right. They are all nutters here. Dobby scowled at the girls, but that only seemed to encourage them.

"Omigod, he's so cute!"

"Look at his floppy ears!"

"I wonder how old he is?"

"Would you like a brownie?"

One of the girls was holding up a large tray filled with, yes indeed, dark, gooey chocolate brownies. Dobby felt his mouth water, he hadn't seen brownies like that in years. Mistress Hermione insisted that all snacks in the house be sugar-free, and the sweet treats that Master Draco managed to smuggle in were indulged by him, or his children.

Quick as a wink, the brownies were off of the plate, and into his mouth. The girls 'ooed' and 'aahed' and were fawning over him every second. As soon as the brownies were gone, he was being shooed off by a girl named Tina to a room positively reeking of chocolate, whilst two sweeties named Abby and Jessica sat him onto a chair covered in squashy pillows.

"I'm Helga Von Benz," another said, offering him her hand. He kissed it, like her saw his Master do, and she practically swooned in ecstasy. "This is my friend Stardust Faerie." The girl next to her offered her hand, which he kissed.

"Dobby finds Stardust's name very unusual," he purred. She blushed.

"My parents were, uh, hippies," she stammered, starstruck. Another sweetheart named T'Lorie held up a giant hand painted sign, and proclaimed, "We're the Official Dobby Fanclub™!"

The little house elf was practically salivating. A fanclub? He had fangirls? What a dream come true.

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"Neville," Hermione squeaked. The hooded boy laughed diabolically.

"Yes, Hermione? Or should I say Her-MINE?"

The circle of men around him chuckled darkly. Ginny stood up on the wet grass, and faced him fiercely. "What do you want with us?"

Neville laughed again, a strange, unnatural glint in his eye. "My dear Ginny, I am so glad you asked." He removed his robes to reveal only a pair of blood red briefs. "First, I want you two to take off your clothes. No wait, take off each other's clothes!" He gurgled evilly. "Then, I want you to take a jar of pickles, and open it with your thighs. You and Hermione will spread the juice all over your bodies, and all over mine, and then we will…chew sugarless gum."

The two women stared at him blankly. "Chew sugarless gum?" Hermione choked. Neville nodded eagerly.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Get on with it!"

"No!" Ginny protested. "That's stupid!"

He shook his head. "Then I'm afraid we will have to do this the hard way. HENRICH!"

One of the darkly hooded men brought forward a huge white pussycat, which Neville took, and began to stroke. The cat purred darkly, and began batting at a pendant around his master's neck.

Is that a…Ginny thought. Neville gave a satanic giggle, and screamed, "BRING ME THE WHIPS!"

"Neville, you little scum!" she laughed. "Is this your sick fantasy, or something?"

Neville looked up at her, his diabolical grin slowly fading. "Why do you ask?"

"Because you have a Weasley Writing Wizard hung around your neck!"

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(an: Silly Neville. And I thought he had gone evil on us! Oh, guess what? I've already written the ending to this story!!!! Yay! But I am still open to suggestions)

The Voices ( I will heed MysticalSpirits's idea, and hand out…ICE CREAM SANDWICHES!!!! YAY!)

Horny Cotter: I love you too…I read your profile, just to check and see if you were a girl

T'Lorie: are you a Vulcan? Vulcans rock. Anyway, I thought about doing a Draco fan club, but there's already so many. Hmmm…I wonder if JKR reads slash fics?

Siria: I liked the Von Benz one better, as you now know…I'm a bit partial to Vans and Vons, because I am one :)

wingless87: I didn't expect Neville either, and that was my problem.

Pandora's Sorrow: your idea was the best…I love cats, and sugarless gum

MysticalSpirits: I put the pickles in for you…thanks for the tip about the frisbee cookies, I didn't know that the cyber travel affected them like that.

The Nauti Dolphin: no drunken orgies, this is PG-13. I think the kids were being taken care of by Ron, though I'm really not sure

Invisible Voice: it is quite easy to update frequently when one has nothing else to do…I actually wrote this three days ago, and just finished writing the final chapter.

Elfaghetti: uh, no :P

tina: dobby and his hobby? Hm, I just got an idea for my other story. Thanks!

CountingCodfish: Is that pronounced 'warpd-ness' or 'war-ped-ness'?

FriesWithThat: don't blame poor Neville….he was just fantasizing…

lildaisygirl24: eeew! No, Neville does not get love slaves! Oh….well…maybe…