Chapter Two: Wonderland, Wasteland
Disclaimer: Don't own, inhale, no money, exhale...repeat...
Hatter stood up off of the gravestone she had been leaning on and took her hat off, running her fingers through her hair before plopping it back on again and sitting against the nearest tree.
"So then. You'll want to know why you're here?" Hatter asked while positioning herself comfortably.
"Well...obviously..." Alice replied, looking around for a moment before sitting down herself, in front of Hatter.
"The truth is I don't really know why you're here, but I do know why someone needed to be. The Queen of Hearts, the so-called 'great' queen of Wonderland, was a very foul woman – I don't think there was anyone who liked her at all. But everyone was afraid of her, and that's why she was the queen. Her husband kept her from murdering everyone who made her mad, so life here was pretty good for us. One day she decided she wanted complete control, so she killed her husband with a pink flamingo and ever since there have been little things running around making everything normal. According to the Caterpillar, you're the only one who can stop this...but you don't look like much..." Hatter finished, looking over Alice, who shifted uncomfortably. "But...how am I supposed to...?"
"No clue. We have to talk to Caterpillar. Being the stupid riddling bastard that he is, he never gives you the full answer. So...we have to go back and talk to him before we do...whatever it is we're supposed to do. I think he said something about an army...yes! He told me to get as many people as I could, then go see him about how to save Wonderland! HaHA!" Hatter was now standing, with a fist in the air. She lowered it, looking at Alice expectantly. "Well? Are you coming?"
Alice sighed and stood up. "Alright...fine...I don't see why not..."
Hatter grinned, then dropped it as she turned and started walking.
"Let's see, there's Cheshire, the Queens, March Hare..."
Alice's head was spinning with questions as they walked.
"How did I get here?" was the only one she asked.
"The Rabbit Hole. Caterpillar had it put where you'd be certain to fall through it." Hatter answered, trying to figure out who was closest. Alice rolled her eyes. That didn't help much, as she had no idea as to what the Rabbit Hole was.
"So...either Cheshire or the Queens...how about...Cheshire?" Hatter muttered, then asked.
"Who's Cheshire?" Alice wondered. Hatter smiled. "You'll see..."
Suddenly the surroundings changed again, and they were standing in a field in front of a small...hut? Hatter automatically began walking forward, and Alice followed.
"Cheshire?" Hatter asked, entering the hut. A young woman was sitting inside, head down.
"This thing all things devours...birds, beasts, trees, flowers...gnaws iron...bites steel...grinds hard stones to meal...slays town...and beats high mountain down." It was at this time that she chose to look up slightly, ominously. "And we don't have nearly enough of it."
"Yeah, yeah, I know, time." Hatter waved away her greeting. "Cheshire, meet Alice."
Alice stepped forward nervously and waved. Cheshire raised an eyebrow at Hatter.
"Taking up babysitting now, Mad?" she commented. Hatter rolled her eyes. "No, Cheshire...according to Caterpillar, Alice is Wonderland's last hope."
Both of Cheshire's eyebrows were now raised at this statement.
"Really..."
"Yeah, really. Now let's go." Hatter turned to walk out.
"Hold on, where exactly are we going?" Cheshire asked suspiciously.
"To gather an army. Then we'll go see Caterpillar and ask him what the hell we're supposed to do next. Got it? Good. Let's go." This time she walked out of the hut, Alice on her heels. Cheshire followed as well, rolling her eyes.
Hatter walked ahead, mutting to herself. Alice caught up with her.
"Who are we going to get next?" she asked.
"March Hare."
"You don't sound very happy about that," Alice replied.
"I hadn't noticed," Hatter said bitterly, glaring, but she stumbled and was forced to watch the ground ahead of her.
"Why? What have you got against March Hare, or whoever?" (Alice)
"They used to be in love," Cheshire said mockingly, then grinned.
"I must have been mad - madder - to be with March," Hatter muttered.
"I'm sure you weren't mad..." Alice told her consolingly.
"Oh, we're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad..." Cheshire said lazily.
"How do you know I'm mad?" Alice asked.
"You're here, aren't you?" Cheshire retorted. Alice was thinking about this when Hatter stopped suddenly and Alice, who had fallen slightly behind in her contemplation, ran into her.
"We're not going to see March Hare." Hatter said firmly.
"Don't be ridiculous, we're supposed to be gathering an army. Besides, it's fun to watch you two bicker." Cheshire added with an evil grin.
"We'll get her later. Right now...we'll get...Gryphon and Mock Turtle." Hatter changed directions just as abruptly as she had stopped and continued walking once more, the other two having no choice but to follow.
"What's a Mock Turtle?" Alice asked Hatter.
"It's the thing Mock Turtle soup is made from." the latter replied, much happier now that she had delayed her reuniting with March. This explanation was not much help to Alice, but she didn't voice her confusion. Soon they came upon another teen, with black wings sprouting out of her back. The teen was stretched out in a patch of sunlight, apparently asleep.
"Gryphon, wake up!" snapped Hatter. Cheshire looked around for a moment, then upon finding what she was searching for she picked the stick up and promptly poked Gryphon in the side with it. Gryphon stirred and looked up groggily. "Oi? What'ya want?"
"Get Mock Turtle and come with us." Hatter ordered. "We're making an army."
Five minutes later they were all sitting in front of Mock Turtle, who had insisted upon explaining to them the Lobster Quadrille.
"You first form into a line along the seashore - " Gryphon began, quickly cut off by Mock Turtle.
"Two lines!" the latter cried. "Seals, turtles, salmon, and so on; then, when you've cleared all the jelly-fish out of the way - "
"That generally takes some time," Gryphon interrupted.
"You advance twice - "
"Each with a lobster as a partner!" shouted Gryphon.
"Of course," Mock Turtle said, "advance twice, set to partners - "
"Change lobsters, and retire in same order," continued Gryphon, her voice getting louder every minute.
"Then, you know," Mock Turtle went on excitedly, "you throw the - "
"The lobsters!" shouted Gryphon, with a bound into the air.
"As far out to sea as you can - "
"Swim after them!" screamed Gryphon.
"Turn a somersault in the sea!" cried Mock Turtle, capering wildly about.
"Change lobsters again!" yelled Gryphon at the top of her voice.
"Back to land again, and - that's all the first figure," said Mock Turtle, suddenly dropping her voice, and both of them, who had been jumping about like mad things all this time, sat down again very sadly and quietly, looking at Alice.
She was at a loss for words.
