Chapter 5

As always, I don't own them, just wish I did! This has been a bit delayed, I actually had it ready to go last week, but didn't get it to my editor until after I got back from LA....sorry!

Thanks to Burt, my partner in crime and best cheerleader!

A Merry Muddle

I sighed as I chopped tomatoes and cucumbers for our salad. Glancing up at Pippin, whom I was relieved to see was still kneeling on a bar stool, watching as I prepared the vegetables, I sighed again. What a long day this had become. And how was I going to explain Frodo and Pippin to Steve? He had a nodding acquaintance with Tolkien's books, but was far short of an expert. I looked up again, smiled at Pippin, who smiled a little hesitantly back, and peered around his little body, checking to see where Frodo and the children were. My eyes took in the peaceful scene of three quiet children dispersed through the family room, happily wrapped up in the adventures of the Amanda Show, and one hobbit sitting on the carpet in front of the fireplace in the living room, intently reading the book in his hands. ~What else ...hmm.~ I went to the refrigerator and peered inside, searching for anything else to stick into the salad. ~Ahhhh.. artichoke hearts, that's good, and some mushrooms? Yuck. I'll put them in a bowl, they can add them if they wish. Oh, mozzarella cheese. That ought to do it.~ I closed the refrigerator door with my foot and carried my bounty over to the counter. Pippin watched as I fished the colander out from its home in the cabinet and put it in the sink. His eyes grew round as I opened the package of mushrooms and dumped them in the colander, and turned on the water.

"Frodo," Pippin exclaimed, turning toward his cousin. "Mushrooms grow in little boxes here!"

Frodo humphed a little, apparently to signify that he'd heard, and continued reading. Pippin turned back to the mushrooms, watching as the water poured through the holes.

"Pippin, mushrooms don't grow in boxes, they are just sold in them. I'm sure they are grown much the same way here that they are in the Shire." I smiled slightly, enjoying his innocence.

"Oh." He seemed a bit disappointed in my explanation. There would be plenty of things later on for him to be amazed at.

The gathering gloom outside as the sun set was making it hard to see what I was doing, so I casually flipped the light switch, not thinking about what I was doing.

Pippin let out a loud squeak and disappeared from view.

"Pippin, are you ok?" I peered over the counter, trying to see where he'd gone.

"He's fine Susan." Frodo had looked up from Fellowship of the Ring. "What's making the light? It doesn't look like a candle or a lantern."

"It's called a light, Frodo. It runs on electricity. If you want a more in-depth explanation, you'll have to wait until my husband, Steve, gets home. As long as the light turns on when I flip the switch, I don't concern myself with how it works."

Apparently that explanation satisfied Frodo, because he turned back to his book without further comment. Pippin had climbed back up on the stool by then, and was looking hungrily at the food on the counter.

"Are you hungry Pippin?" I'm a sucker for anyone that's hungry.

"A bit." He was looking longingly at the mushrooms draining in the sink.

"Give me your hands." I tucked a few mushrooms in one hand, and then the same number in the other hand. Hobbit or child, long years as a mother had taught me the wisdom of equal shares. I came around the end of the counter and helped him down, saying "why don't you give one handful to Frodo and eat the other?" I watched as he trotted off to Frodo, who absentmindedly accepted the mushrooms, and just as absentmindedly stuffed them in his mouth.

I grabbed the large salad bowl from the china cabinet on the way back to the kitchen.

A muted grumbling caught my ear as I tore the lettuce into bite sized pieces and put them in the salad bowl. It took a few seconds to realize that Frodo was the one making the sounds. He had sprawled on his stomach on the carpet in front of the fireplace, a frown creasing his brow as he read.

"Is something wrong, Frodo?"

He glanced up at me, still frowning slightly, and tapped the book lightly with a finger. "Whoever wrote this seems to have invented some things."

I opened my mouth, ready to ask Frodo for an example, when I realized Pippin was no longer on the stool in front of me. I leaned over the bar to see if he was behind it. No hobbit there. In fact, no hobbit but Frodo visible in either the living room or the family room.

I paused by Frodo's recumbent form. "Frodo, have you seen Pippin?"

Frodo blinked his eyes as he shifted mental gears, glanced at the bar where Pippin had been, and said "oh no."

He hopped to his feet, book still in hand, and headed for the family room.

"I didn't see him in there, do you think he would be hiding?" I didn't feel familiar enough with the habits of hobbits to know if Pippin was likely to do that.

Frodo thought for a moment, carefully marking his spot in the book with one finger. "No. Perhaps if Merry were here, but even then he's outgrown that foolishness. He usually answers if you call his name."

Frodo moved to the middle of the living room, lifted his chin, and bellowed "Peregrine Took, where are you?" I jumped, surprised at how much volume such a small body could generate.

"Back here."

It sounded like he was in JJ's room. My mind shuddered at the thought of the sheer volume of mess he could make in that room! Like most boys his age, JJ had boxes of K'nex and lego blocks, several large containers of cars with their track systems, and a complete layout of Brio trains.

I headed for JJ's room with Frodo right behind me. We rounded the corner to the back hallway in time to see Pippin starting to open the door to the guest bedroom. The room that JJ had put Midnight in.

"Pippin, don't" I exclaimed as Midnight's nose poked through the crack. I reached the door before the dog could muscle his way through the crack, shoved his nose back, and shut the door in his face. ~Thank heavens I got here in time.~ Midnight is an excellent guard dog, he doesn't like strangers. Once someone's been "introduced" to him, he suffers their presence in his house. Woe betide the unfamiliar first time visitor who tries to pet him. He hasn't managed to take anyone's finger off yet, but a few times it's been closer than I'd like.

"Pippin, what were you thinking?" Frodo sounded more than a little exasperated with his younger cousin.

Pippin shuffled his feet a little while he looked at Frodo. "I heard something crying, I thought it needed help." He looked back toward the closed door. We could hear Midnight whining and scratching at the door in a bid to get out.

I knelt before Pippin, made sure that his eyes were on me, and said "Pippin I'm not mad at you. I know you didn't realize that what you were doing was dangerous. I had JJ put our dog...you do know what a dog is, don't you?" It suddenly occurred to me that while I'd seen a dog in the movie, I didn't remember any mention of one in Tolkein's books. Both Pippin and Frodo nodded, so I continued. "Our dog doesn't like strangers. He's been known to try and bite them, and I didn't want you to get hurt. Would you like to meet him?"

"Are you sure it's safe?" Frodo looked a bit concerned.

"As long as I introduce you to him." I gazed at the two hobbits as they considered what I'd told them. "Frodo, we don't know how long you'll be here, the sooner he starts seeing you as family, the better."

Frodo nodded his head slowly, eyes darkening as he realized that it was possible they might be here for a long time indeed. I opened the door slowly, hand held down in front of Midi's face so that he didn't dash through the door. When it was open enough to get to his collar, I grasped it tightly, and then opened the door the rest of the way. Midnight jumped out of the door, lips pulled back in a snarl as his nose caught the scent of the 'intruders'. Pippin backed up quickly and stood as close to the wall as he could get. Frodo, on the other hand, stood quietly, watching Midi's every move very carefully.

"Frodo, let me have your hand." I held on to Midi with one hand and lightly grasped the hand Frodo extended toward me with the other. "Midnight, this is Frodo. He's a friend. Friend, Midi." I held Frodo's hand right in front of the dog's nose, letting him sniff. "Pippin, come over here please."

Pippin looked like he wasn't too sure he wanted to move, and I really couldn't blame him. Not only was he unfriendly toward strangers, Midnight was also imposing physically. He can look me in the eye when he stands on his hind legs, and weighs over 80 pounds. Pippin watched as Frodo gently stroked Midnight's ears. The dog sat down and leaned himself against Frodo, almost pushing him over. Pippin giggled a little as Midi closed his eyes in bliss and made little huffing noises when Frodo hit a particularly itchy spot.

"See Pip, he's bigger than the dogs at home, but pretty similar." Frodo grinned over at his cousin, continuing to caress the dog. Pippin slowly eased closer to the two of them, and I reached forward to take hold of Midi's collar again.

Midnight's eyes popped open as his nose caught Pippin's scent, and he sat up and stared intently at him while he approached.

"Give me your hand Pippin." I repeated what Frodo and I had done, making sure that Midnight got a good sniff, and then watched while Pippin rubbed under Midi's neck. By the time I left to go back to the kitchen several minutes later, Midnight was lying on his back, all four paws waving in the air as the hobbits scratched his tummy. I glanced at the clock, and was surprised to see it was almost 7:00. Where could Steve be?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Steve yawned as he parked the car in front of the local Pizza Palace and shut off the lights. He grimaced as he slid out of the beat up old car, stopping to stretch his tired back muscles. What a long day.

A few slices of pizza and a glass of cold root beer sounded good about now. He opened the door, letting out a blast of warm, yeast laden air.

"Can I help you, sir?" Steve noticed the cashier had flour daubed here and there about her person. ~Well, every job has its hazards.~

"Yes, my wife called in an order. It should be under the name 'Steve'."

"Let me look." The cashier checked the pizzas stacked on the warming shelves. Not finding what she was looking for, she leaned around the corner of the shelves and yelled back to the baking area. "Mario, you got that big order done yet?"

"Getting the last one out now. By the time you ring him up, David will have them out there," echoed faintly from the back.

The cashier returned to the counter. She tapped the keys as she said under her breath "that's two of the two for one specials, and five others." With a final tap of her keys she said "That will be $52.49 please."

Steve looked at her in disbelief. "What?"

"$52.49 Sir."

"How many pizzas is that?" Steve slowly pulled his wallet out of his pocket and extracted his credit card.

The cashier consulted the order ticket in her hand. "Uhm, two ham and pineapple, two sausage, one cheese, two garden variety and.....ah yes, two mushroom. Nine pizzas."

Steve handed her the card, shocked at both the number of pizzas and the amount of money involved. Just how many kids were at the house. He hadn't forgotten someone's birthday had he?

"Sign here, sir."

Steve came out of his reverie to see the cashier trying to hand him the receipt, his card, and a pen to sign with. Steve signed his name, put the Visa away, and turned toward the chairs in the corner, intending to sit down while he waited for the order. A sudden thought occurred to him on the way there, and he returned to the counter.

"Excuse me, but did you say a mushroom pizza."

She ran a flour covered finger down the order ticket.

"Yes sir, that was two mushroom pizzas."

"Thank you." Steve made his way back to the chairs, puzzled. Susan couldn't stand mushrooms. She occasionally indulged the rest of the family's taste for them, but in 13 years of marriage he couldn't remember her ever ordering a mushroom pizza. Curiouser and curiouser as Alice would say.

The door to the cooking area banged against the wall as a man in an apron backed out of it with a cart loaded with pizzas.

"Where do you want me to put these?"

"My car is out here." Steve held the door while the man wheeled the cart through it. "That black one over there."

He helped put the pizzas on the back seat of the car, and drove home, still wondering whose party he had forgotten. He was pretty sure he hadn't missed anyone's birthday, and their anniversary was in December, so he was safe on that account.

There weren't that many bikes in front of the house when he got home. So it probably wasn't a party for Lily, most of her friends rode their bikes, or rollerbladed, or rode one of those new motorized scooters the kids seemed so fond of. That left JJ or Brittany. Most of JJ's friends would be outside, dark or not, wreaking mayhem as only a horde of little boys can do, but there didn't appear to be anyone outside the house. Most of the lights were on though. That left Brittany. But she'd just had her birthday. He clearly remembered the loud, piercing, shrieks of the 7 girls who'd spent the night. Maybe they came back to find all the things they left behind? All at once? If that was the case, at least they'd be gone soon.

He contemplated the pizzas piled high in the back seat of the car. There was no way he was going to be able to carry them all in at once. Oh wait, what was that by the steps to the door. JJ's wagon, the perfect thing! He could put it on the porch, carry the pizzas over to it a few at a time, and then tow them all into the house! It only took a second to get it on the porch, and a minute or two more to open the front door and pull the heavily laden wagon over the edge and into the hallway. He could hear the sounds of quiet talking coming from the kitchen, and as he headed toward it, towing the wagon behind him, Midnight streaked by him.

He stopped as a small person in a costume ran past him, yelling "Midi, come back, that's my cheese!" There was something odd about the small persons appearance. He didn't look quite like a child. He definitely didn't sound like a child. But he was child height. Steve shook his head in bewilderment and continued on toward the kitchen. Susan was standing in front of the counter, tossing a full salad bowl.

"I'm sorry I'm so late, I had to wait for the pizzas." He leaned over to kiss Susan on the cheek. "Who's party did I forget? And who was that running after Midnight?"

"Oh, here, let's put the pizzas on the table while I explain." Susan led the way to the table. Steve followed, still towing the wagon. How was she going to explain this?

Susan thought furiously as they unloaded the wagon. "You didn't forget anything, we had some unexpected visitors drop in this afternoon." She paused for a moment, thinking. "Why don't you sit down, I'll get you a drink."

"Nine pizzas worth of guests?" Steve sat in one of the chairs, bracing himself mentally for whatever Susan was about to disclose.

"They like to eat. I think. Uhm....there is no way to say this gracefully. Steve, JJ found a new friend in our pecan tree. He was hungry, so JJ brought him in to meet me. His name is Peregrine Took, but he goes by Pippin." Susan paused for a minute, eyes on Steve's face. The only reaction he'd shown so far was to raise an eyebrow, so she continued on. "We were feeding him some sandwiches when I heard the girls screaming outside. There was something under one of my rosebushes. It turned out to be Pippin's cousin, Frodo Baggins." Susan smiled uncertainly at Steve, who was staring at her. "Steve?"

"Give me a moment." Steve sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest as he thought. Susan seemed to be telling him that he had two visitors and nine pizzas in his house. Nine pizzas for two hungry visitors. Visitors whose names were Frodo and Pippin. "Susan, are you trying to tell me that we have two hobbits in our house?"

"Yes."

"But they don't exist! They're characters in a series of stories. How can they possibly be here. Do you mean we have actors visiting us?" Steve was grasping at straws and he knew it, but this was a bit hard to process.

"No, Steve, they aren't tall enough to be the actors. They're the real thing." Susan was hunched over in her chair, head leaned wearily on her hand.

Steve sat in his chair, trying to find some logical explanation for the madness that had descended on them all. Well, if there was one thing being a scientist had taught him, it was that there were many things in the universe that were not explainable.

"Excuse me." Steve turned to see an unfamiliar person standing in the doorway with a book in hand. Someone who looked like a miniaturized Elijah Wood in his Frodo ears and wig.

"Oh, Frodo, come in! I want you to meet my husband, Steve. Steve, this is Frodo Baggins." Susan watched the expressions crossing her husband's face as he looked at the undeniable proof in front of his eyes.

"Pleased to meet you, sir." Frodo bowed slightly to Steve, who nodded his head in return.

"Susan, I was wondering if," Frodo's words were interrupted by a horrendous crashing noise from upstairs.

Susan and Steve froze in their seats for a moment in shock. What in the world? They leapt to their feet and ran for the stairs, afraid of what they'd find when they reached the top. Nothing was out of place on the landing. Susan glanced in the doorway to the master bedroom as she sped past the door. Nothing out of place there. She followed Steve down the hallway to the girl's room and the guest room, barreling into his back when he stopped in the girl's doorway.

They had left the light on in their room, as usual, and the sight that met their eyes was nothing short of chaotic. There was a gaping hole in the ceiling above Lily's bed, and a small, dust covered figure sat hunched in the middle of it. Dust and bits of insulation whirled lazily through the air, settling on all the available surfaces. The figure had a strand of Christmas lights wound around itself, and a bit of tinsel hanging over one ear. Susan felt a small body brush past her into the room.

"Merry!" Pippin exclaimed joyously as he ran toward the figure on the bed.