"Ancient Greece was the birthplace of philosophy," Mr. Wald related to his fourth-graders as he wrote the word PHILOSOPHY in large letters on the board. "Philosophy is the search for answers to life's biggest questions. Can any of you think of a question you've always wanted an answer to?"

The kids fell silent as wind-driven tumbleweeds rolled across their barren minds. Finally Beat raised her hand. "Yes, Beatrice?"

"Why am I myself, and not someone else?" asked the rabbit-aardvark girl.

Mr. Wald appeared deep in thought. "I think I can answer that," he finally said. "If you were somebody else, then you would still be yourself, but you'd be a different yourself. Does that make sense?"

"No," replied Beat.

Mr. Wald glanced around the room, hoping another student would chime in with a question to save him from having to pursue Beat's. Shortly Arthur raised his hand. "Why am I here?" he inquired.

"Because you're a kid," Mr. Wald answered without hesitation, "and this is school." The other kids giggled.

Binky was the next to submit a question. "One night I was lying in the grass, looking up at the stars," he recounted, "and I asked myself, 'Why?' Then I heard a voice, and it said, 'Because I'm bigger than you.'" The kids laughed again.

The door to the classroom slowly opened, and in shuffled Dolly Proctor, wearing Francine's blouse and jeans along with a ghastly scowl. Arthur, Fern, George, Muffy, Binky, and Beat immediately began to glower at her. "You're late, Dolly," Mr. Wald pointed out to her.

"Indeed," grumbled the rat girl as she searched for a desk located next to a sympathetic face. "Three hundred years late. And in my absence, girls started to dress like boys." She took a seat by Francine, the only student who was willing to smile at her.

It was a long, uncomfortable lesson for Dolly, and when the bell finally rang, most of the kids looked up at the ceiling as they walked past her. Fearing she would be left friendless, she tried to build a rapport with those who had not been present at the previous night's trial, starting with Mavis. "Hello, Mavis," she greeted the hamster girl, who widened her eyes in terror and hurried away.

"I guess she hasn't forgotten about the snake," remarked Francine, who hadn't left Dolly's side.

She then attempted to strike up some banter with Van as the duck boy rolled along the hallway. "Hello, Van, how are you this morning?"

"Uh, I don't think I should talk to you," said Van nervously. Dolly watched in dejection as he accelerated his wheelchair and sped away.

Francine tried to comfort the sad-faced girl by putting an arm around her shoulders. "It's no use," Dolly moaned. "They're afraid of me. They don't understand."

"Big deal," said Francine with a grin. "I don't understand either, but I still think you're cool. Well, the Sue Ellen part of me thinks so, anyway. The Francine part's still undecided."

The two girls then encountered Mr. Haney, who wore a stern expression. "Dolly Proctor?" he said hoarsely.

"I am she," was Dolly's response.

"I'd like to talk to you in my office," the principal requested.

Moments later, Dolly was seated in front of Mr. Haney's desk as Francine waited outside the office door. "What happened to the other fellow?" Dolly asked as she carefully removed the wrapper from a lollipop.

"Mr. Ratburn took over temporarily while I was sick," Haney answered. "He told me all about you. Dolly, if you want to continue attending our school, we need to attend to some things. First, we need to transfer your academic records from your old school."

Dolly took a few licks from her lollipop. "My old school was a one-room schoolhouse in Davenport, in the colony of New Hampshire," she informed him. "I doubt it still exists."

"That's another thing," said Mr. Haney, leaning over his desk. "New Hampshire is a state, not a colony. You were born in the twentieth century, not the seventeenth. Your parents may or may not be dead, but they didn't die three hundred years ago."

"They most assuredly did," Dolly insisted.

Haney peered thoughtfully at her, then put his fist over his mouth and coughed a few times. "I don't think you understand how serious this is," he went on. "Unless someone identifies you or claims you, we have no choice but to turn you over to the Department of Social Services. You'll end up in a foster home, and you may not like it."

"Alan's parents are taking good care of me," Dolly stated.

"That's all well and good," Haney continued, "but we still need to enter you into the system. You need a legal identity, school records, immunizations, a social security number, and all that. Plus I'm going to recommend a full psychiatric evaluation."

About a minute later the office door opened, and Dolly emerged, looking even more desolate than before. "Well?" was all Francine could think of to say.

"He thinks I'm crazy," replied Dolly gloomily. "He wants to put me in the mad house."

"You're not crazy," Francine reassured her. "And even if you are, we've come a long way in the treatment of mental illnesses." A few feet away Binky sat on a bench, reading a comic book and listening in on the girls' conversation.

"Maybe I should stop using my magic, and pretend to be normal," Dolly suggested.

"That's stupid!" Francine retorted. "You have a special gift. You shouldn't hide it just because other people don't understand. If they hate you or make fun of you because of your gift, then use it even more. Show them that you're proud of it and won't give it up, no matter what they do."

"Hmm," thought Binky as an idea formed in his mind.

As Dolly wandered back to Mr. Wald's classroom accompanied by Francine, she looked down at her borrowed clothes and sighed plaintively. "Francine, have you never wanted to put on a beautiful dress, and wear it around the town for everyone to see?" she asked.

Francine's expression became wistful as she recalled the many lovely native outfits that Sue Ellen had worn over the course of her travels. Outfits that Francine wouldn't be caught dead in...

"I look stupid in a dress," was her curt reply.

----

Lunch hour arrived, but not everyone used the time for eating purposes. Dolly followed Francine to her apartment so that she could change into one of Francine's--correction, Francine's only dress. "At last I feel like a girl again," she remarked blissfully.

At the same time, Mrs. Stiles drove Binky and Fern to the TV studio, where they picked up a few items from the New Moo Revue set...

----

The kids in the playground were in for a major surprise during afternoon recess. Arthur and George, lounging atop the jungle gym, were the first to see a person in a cow costume round the corner of the school building.

"Arthur, look!" cried George, pointing. "I don't believe it!"

"It's...it's Mini Moo!" exclaimed Arthur.

The two boys quickly climbed down as the excited schoolchildren began to throng Mary Moo Cow's sidekick. "Mini Moo! Mini Moo!" they chanted with glee.

"Yes, it's me, Mini Moo," said the cow with a cheerful voice. Hidden behind a corner of the building, Fern spoke into a cordless microphone, her words piped through a speaker hidden in the cow costume.

"I just love your show!" yelled a first-grade sheep girl.

"I know all the songs by heart!" boasted a second-grade rat boy. The crowd surrounding Mini Moo grew larger by the second.

"Let's sing the 'Dodo the Clown' song!" bellowed the cow, waving its arms. "Dodo the Clown was a happy, happy clown," the kids sang along. "He always wore a smile, he never wore a frown..."

Muffy and Mavis had drawn close to the mob out of curiosity. "That's Fern's voice, but the costume's too big for her," Muffy observed.

"It must be Binky," Mavis added. "That would explain why we didn't see either of them at lunch."

"Don't tell anybody," Muffy ordered. "I think I know what he's up to."

Hearing the uproar, Molly and Rattles hurried toward the scene, expecting to witness a fight. They slowed down and stopped when they realized that a singing cow was the attraction. After a few seconds of incredulous staring, they smiled moronically.

"Dude, it's Mini Moo!" Rattles enthused.

"Wow, a real TV star!" gushed Molly.

As the two bullies shoved their way through the dozens of children, Rattles reached into his bag and pulled out a pen and notebook. Presenting them to Mini Moo, he requested, "Can I get your autograph, dude?"

"Sure, dude," said the cow, but this time the voice was different...

Rattles' face fell when he realized what he had been suckered into. He had done many stupid things in his life, but now he was worthy to be crowned His Majesty, the King of Stupid. He pulled back the pen and notebook, and groaned pathetically. "Oh, man...oh, man..."

"We will, like, never hear the end of this," Molly lamented.

As the kids watched in surprise, Mini Moo reached up and pulled off his mask, revealing to all the smirking countenance of Binky Barnes. The sound of hearts plummeting was almost tangible.

"What are you all doing here?" Binky taunted the crowd. "New Moo Revue is a baby show! Oh, I get it! You're all babies! Baby, baby, baby..."

The throng of kids quickly dispersed, each one glancing around fearfully as if hoping not to be seen. Fern appeared from behind her corner, switching off the microphone she held, while Arthur, George, Muffy, and Mavis gathered around Binky the Cow with congratulatory smiles.

"Are you still here?" Binky goaded them. "Do you want to sing another baby song? Baby, baby, baby..."

"We knew it was you all along, Binky," George bragged.

"I don't think they'll make fun of you after this," said Mavis proudly.

Binky lifted a costumed fist into the air. "I don't care if they do or not. Binky Moo Cow is here to stay!"

----

At the end of the school day, Alan and Dolly joined Prunella on the way to her house. "I had the most miserable day," Dolly complained. "Almost everyone in my class hates me because of the accident with the love potion, and the principal thinks I'm crazy and wants to put me in an institution."

"I don't think you're crazy," said Prunella comfortingly.

"I, uh, don't think you belong in an institution," Alan added.

They soon arrived at Prunella's house to find that her mother was entertaining several guests--Angus Winslow, Maria Harris, and her daughter, Nadine. "Hello, Mr. Winslow," Dolly greeted the tall rabbit man.

Nadine jumped down from Winslow's lap and rushed to meet the kids. "Mr. Winslow's gonna be my new daddy!" announced the thrilled little girl.

"No kidding!" exclaimed Prunella, facing Maria with amazement.

"It's true," Maria confirmed. "Angus proposed to me last night. We've set the date for the end of April." She lifted her right hand to show off the diamond engagement ring that Winslow had purchased from the jewelry store where she worked.

"Incredible," Alan remarked. "It's the biggest whirlwind romance since Paolo and Francesca." Prunella shot him a blank stare.

"I'm happy for you both," said Dolly, who then glanced down at Nadine. "I mean, the three of you."

"Maria is an angel," said Winslow, "and Nadine is a little angel. I belong with them." To add emphasis, he leaned over and planted a kiss on Maria's eager lips.

Prunella started to sniffle. "They...they look so happy together..."

Dolly stepped closer to Mr. Winslow. "I know that nothing could make you happier than you are now," she said formally, "but I shall venture nonetheless. I've decided to go with you to Salem, as you requested."

Impossible as it seemed, Winslow's glowing face lit up even more.

"You are one of the few who does not fear or misunderstand my powers," Dolly commended him. "I'm certain you shall put them to good use."

"You won't regret this," Winslow assured her.

"If Dolly's going, then I'm going too," said Prunella. "Someone needs to keep an eye on her." She turned to face her mother, who nodded approvingly.

"Count me in, too," said Alan with boldness.

"Very well," said the gratified Winslow. "Will the weekend after next work for all of you?"

(Next chapter: Winslow's secret revealed! Please give more reviews!)