Ryan POV
I put her cup of coffee on the nightstand then carefully crawled on the bed to ensure that I didn't hit the wall. Her room was so tiny that any sudden movement could have left some part of my body bruised. She looks so peaceful that I didn't want to wake her but I couldn't ignore the ticking clock for much longer. I kissed her on her forehead and she stirred. She'd spent the better part of the night working on her thesis and at that moment, I decided that she deserved to sleep a little longer. I took a quick shower, picked out an outfit from her closet, ironed the shirt, laid it on the couch, then shook her awake.
After much groaning, she finally spoke. "Ryan, what's your problem? I'll get up when the alarm goes off." She turned away from me and put her pillow over her head.
"Anna, it's 8:15," I said, stroking her thigh.
"What? I've got a 9am class!" she screamed, springing up. With her eyes barely open, she climbed out of the bed and headed for the bathroom. She was almost through the door when she turned around and looked at me curiously.
"You're dressed," she pointed out.
I nodded. "Yep."
"You woke up before me, showered and dressed? And you couldn't even wake me up?" She was scratching her chest and leaning on the door frame.
"You looked so tired…" I explained.
"But I don't get when I didn't wake up. Wait." She pointed at me. "You… you sneaky bastard, you turned off the alarm, didn't you?"
"Yeah," I said with a yawn. I hadn't had much sleep myself. Even though she worked in the living room, the sounds of her fingers on the keyboard echoed in the bedroom.
"I see, Mr. Selfish," she joked. "If I get fired, you're going to have to pay my rent."
"Or you could just move in with me."
She frowned. "Not that again." She rolled her eyes and went to the bathroom.
Yes, her apartment was close to her school but it was also barely big enough to house a family of chickens. We hardly spent anytime apart that it just seemed so stupid for us to pay exorbitant rents for two places. I'd even tried to say that we'd simply be roommates and not cohabiting in the usual sense of the word, but she flat out refused. She said that she enjoyed her independence and she didn't think she was up to having a roommate - even if he happened to be me. I wondered if that was her real reason as since she and Seth had broken up, she hadn't set foot into my apartment.
---
"Hello?" I said into the receiver.
"Ryan?" I heard Sandy's voice say warmly.
"Yes. How's it going?"
"It's great. Nothing really special going on except having Seth work at The Newport Group has stopped Caleb from trying to entice me into working for him. I think he suspects that Seth's work ethic comes from my side of the family."
"Interesting." I wasn't surprised that for almost two months, nothing had changed. "How's Kirsten?"
"She's fine. She's still at work, they got a new government contract that's taking up all her time. I think I might have to start setting up appointments to see her."
We both laughed. " I know what you mean. It's amazing how you might not see someone for a week even though you live together."
"One of the mysteries of life. Speaking of which, have you boys started speaking again?"
I sighed. "No. I still send him the emails but he doesn't reply." It was becoming quite tiresome but I'd decided I was up to the challenge. Knowing Seth, he'd give in at some point and we would finally be able to find a way to mend it all.
"Maybe he doesn't check his email often."
"Oh, he does. I set it up so that I am notified when he opens them up"
"Well, that's something. But it pains me to see you boys like this. If I could kick him in the butt, I would. But he's gotten so big lately, that he just might kick me right back." We laughed again. "Not that I am taking sides or anything," he added.
"I understand, Sandy."
"I just think that you have to open up the lines of communication. You've been too close for too long for this to cause this kind of tension. But you're both adults and there's nothing Kirsten and I can do. However, as I said, the fact he reads your messages is great. That shows there's hope."
"I'm counting on it."
----
I walked into the public library on 56th street. I immediately saw Anna standing in front of a shelf, reading what I assumed was the back of a book. Even though she had her back to me, I could recognize her silhouette in my sleep plus she was wearing the sweater her stepfather had gotten her for Christmas. "Guess who?" I whispered into her ear and lightly covered her eyes with my hands.
She pulled my hands away from her face, turned around and kissed me swiftly. "You have the tickets?" she asked expectantly.
I laughed. "You sure know how to make me feel so cheap," I teased. "All you care about are the tickets."
She pulled my face to hers then softly kissed me, not releasing me till I was out of breath. "Better?"
"Not bad."
"Can I have the tickets now?"
I chuckled then I reached into my pocket, pulled the tickets out and handed them to her. Her favorite band was coming out of a drug and alcohol induced retirement and was performing their first public gig at Late Show with David Letterman. She'd pestered me till I used my contacts to finagle some tickets to the long solidly booked show.
She looked at them. "Non-nosebleed seats," she commented excitedly. She was practically jumping up and down. "Ryan," she said gleefully, putting her arms around my neck and bobbing her head from side to side. "Have I ever told you that you're awesome?"
"Not lately."
She looked deeply into my eyes. "Well , you are, and don't you forget it."
"Wow… I get all this for Letterman tickets? I wonder what you'll do when I tell you about the Grammy tickets."
"What?" She looked into my eyes, questioning.
I nodded.
Her eyes grew really huge and she screamed. The librarian and other guests was sending us unpleasant glares so I pulled her out of the room and into the street. She eagerly followed -- stopping only to pick up her coat-- seemingly unaware that scores of eyes had been trained on her.
"You're going to the Grammys?" she asked, putting it on her gloves. Even though March was only a few days away, the temperature hovered around 30 degrees.
"No. We are."
"My God! How did you get them?"
"My band's record sales have been really good the last two weeks. We cracked the top 40 this week."
"No. Shut. Up. When did you find out?"
"Today. Have you checked your messages?"
She shook her head.
"Well, I left you a message. The record label is going into heavy publicity mode. And that includes an appearance at the Grammys. They are even going to walk the red carpet."
Her face colored slightly as if she wasn't pleased with that bit of information. "They are, but not us, right?"
"No, we are too."
"Why? It's not like you're famous or anything."
"Even though I am the executive producer, I am still their A&R guy and the company wants me to represent them on the red carpet."
"I still don't get it." By that point, her arms were folded, her attitude had completely changed and she appeared to have stopped listening to me.
"You know when you're watching the E! red carpet show, how all the artists have a group of people walking with them?"
"Yeah."
"Well, that's what I'll be doing."
"I see. But what do you need me for?" We both looked up as snow flurries began to fall.
"Anna?"
"Ryan, it's work for you. You don't need me to slow things down."
"What the hell are you talking about? Just a minute ago, you were all for this then suddenly you change your mind?" It made no sense to me. I almost suggested that she could skip the red carpet and just meet me in the hall but I stopped myself. Something was definitely off.
"It's nothing, Ryan. I guess it's different from what I imagined."
"Anna, I am not a mind reader. If you don't tell me what's wrong, how am I supposed to know what's going on? What's brought this on?" I'd begun to wonder if she was not the person I thought she was. She was great most of the time but sometimes, somewhat frequent sometimes, she just had to be a drama queen and I wasn't sure I liked dealing with that side of her personality.
"It's nothing," she said, walking ahead of me. "When does the show start? Do I have enough time to go to Duane Reade? I need to get some aspirin."
I caught up with her and grabbed her shoulder. "Anna, what's going on? Remember when we promised that there should be no secrets between us?"
"Yes," she said, looking away from me.
"So tell me."
She stood uncomfortably, kicking her heels and shifting her weight from foot to foot. "It's just that…"
"What?"
"It's nothing Ryan," she replied, shaking her head and pursing her lips.
"Anna, just tell me."
"It's just… It's just, Seth…"
I released her from my grip and backed away. "Seth? How the hell did Seth get into this conversation?"
"It's just that if we are going to be on the red carpet together, there's a good chance Seth will see us." She looked at me uncertainly before averting her eyes again.
"What? We aren't even going to be interviewed. How will he see us?"
"Didn't you just mention seeing the entourages at interviews?"
I shook my head - I couldn't believe what I was hearing. From three thousand miles away, Seth had managed to interfere once again. "So you don't want to come to the show at the off chance Seth might be watching the pre-show? This is just plain ridiculous," I said, saying that last sentence under my breath.
"Listen, Ryan, I am not ready to put him through this."
"He knows we are together -that's why he's stopped talking to me, it's the reason he moved out of our apartment. He knows this. How is seeing us together going to hurt him more?"
"It just will. I can't risk it. Everything is just so recent. I can't even risk hurting him any further - I just can't do it." The fact she looked so pained only served to irk me further. For all this talk about Seth, had she once thought about me? About my feelings?
"Alright," I said. We stood in silence for a few moments. Then I moved to the side of the road and when I saw that it was free, crossed it.
"Ryan, where are you going?" she called, following me.
"I'm going to the subway station."
"Why? Aren't you coming to see the show with me?" She put her hand into my jacket pocket and held on tight to keep me from moving.
"Of course not. What would Seth do if he saw us in the audience?" I asked sarcastically.
"He stopped watching Letterman."
Fuck. Disgusted, I pulled her hand from my pocket then walked into the train station. At that moment, I couldn't even stomach looking at her.
I put her cup of coffee on the nightstand then carefully crawled on the bed to ensure that I didn't hit the wall. Her room was so tiny that any sudden movement could have left some part of my body bruised. She looks so peaceful that I didn't want to wake her but I couldn't ignore the ticking clock for much longer. I kissed her on her forehead and she stirred. She'd spent the better part of the night working on her thesis and at that moment, I decided that she deserved to sleep a little longer. I took a quick shower, picked out an outfit from her closet, ironed the shirt, laid it on the couch, then shook her awake.
After much groaning, she finally spoke. "Ryan, what's your problem? I'll get up when the alarm goes off." She turned away from me and put her pillow over her head.
"Anna, it's 8:15," I said, stroking her thigh.
"What? I've got a 9am class!" she screamed, springing up. With her eyes barely open, she climbed out of the bed and headed for the bathroom. She was almost through the door when she turned around and looked at me curiously.
"You're dressed," she pointed out.
I nodded. "Yep."
"You woke up before me, showered and dressed? And you couldn't even wake me up?" She was scratching her chest and leaning on the door frame.
"You looked so tired…" I explained.
"But I don't get when I didn't wake up. Wait." She pointed at me. "You… you sneaky bastard, you turned off the alarm, didn't you?"
"Yeah," I said with a yawn. I hadn't had much sleep myself. Even though she worked in the living room, the sounds of her fingers on the keyboard echoed in the bedroom.
"I see, Mr. Selfish," she joked. "If I get fired, you're going to have to pay my rent."
"Or you could just move in with me."
She frowned. "Not that again." She rolled her eyes and went to the bathroom.
Yes, her apartment was close to her school but it was also barely big enough to house a family of chickens. We hardly spent anytime apart that it just seemed so stupid for us to pay exorbitant rents for two places. I'd even tried to say that we'd simply be roommates and not cohabiting in the usual sense of the word, but she flat out refused. She said that she enjoyed her independence and she didn't think she was up to having a roommate - even if he happened to be me. I wondered if that was her real reason as since she and Seth had broken up, she hadn't set foot into my apartment.
---
"Hello?" I said into the receiver.
"Ryan?" I heard Sandy's voice say warmly.
"Yes. How's it going?"
"It's great. Nothing really special going on except having Seth work at The Newport Group has stopped Caleb from trying to entice me into working for him. I think he suspects that Seth's work ethic comes from my side of the family."
"Interesting." I wasn't surprised that for almost two months, nothing had changed. "How's Kirsten?"
"She's fine. She's still at work, they got a new government contract that's taking up all her time. I think I might have to start setting up appointments to see her."
We both laughed. " I know what you mean. It's amazing how you might not see someone for a week even though you live together."
"One of the mysteries of life. Speaking of which, have you boys started speaking again?"
I sighed. "No. I still send him the emails but he doesn't reply." It was becoming quite tiresome but I'd decided I was up to the challenge. Knowing Seth, he'd give in at some point and we would finally be able to find a way to mend it all.
"Maybe he doesn't check his email often."
"Oh, he does. I set it up so that I am notified when he opens them up"
"Well, that's something. But it pains me to see you boys like this. If I could kick him in the butt, I would. But he's gotten so big lately, that he just might kick me right back." We laughed again. "Not that I am taking sides or anything," he added.
"I understand, Sandy."
"I just think that you have to open up the lines of communication. You've been too close for too long for this to cause this kind of tension. But you're both adults and there's nothing Kirsten and I can do. However, as I said, the fact he reads your messages is great. That shows there's hope."
"I'm counting on it."
----
I walked into the public library on 56th street. I immediately saw Anna standing in front of a shelf, reading what I assumed was the back of a book. Even though she had her back to me, I could recognize her silhouette in my sleep plus she was wearing the sweater her stepfather had gotten her for Christmas. "Guess who?" I whispered into her ear and lightly covered her eyes with my hands.
She pulled my hands away from her face, turned around and kissed me swiftly. "You have the tickets?" she asked expectantly.
I laughed. "You sure know how to make me feel so cheap," I teased. "All you care about are the tickets."
She pulled my face to hers then softly kissed me, not releasing me till I was out of breath. "Better?"
"Not bad."
"Can I have the tickets now?"
I chuckled then I reached into my pocket, pulled the tickets out and handed them to her. Her favorite band was coming out of a drug and alcohol induced retirement and was performing their first public gig at Late Show with David Letterman. She'd pestered me till I used my contacts to finagle some tickets to the long solidly booked show.
She looked at them. "Non-nosebleed seats," she commented excitedly. She was practically jumping up and down. "Ryan," she said gleefully, putting her arms around my neck and bobbing her head from side to side. "Have I ever told you that you're awesome?"
"Not lately."
She looked deeply into my eyes. "Well , you are, and don't you forget it."
"Wow… I get all this for Letterman tickets? I wonder what you'll do when I tell you about the Grammy tickets."
"What?" She looked into my eyes, questioning.
I nodded.
Her eyes grew really huge and she screamed. The librarian and other guests was sending us unpleasant glares so I pulled her out of the room and into the street. She eagerly followed -- stopping only to pick up her coat-- seemingly unaware that scores of eyes had been trained on her.
"You're going to the Grammys?" she asked, putting it on her gloves. Even though March was only a few days away, the temperature hovered around 30 degrees.
"No. We are."
"My God! How did you get them?"
"My band's record sales have been really good the last two weeks. We cracked the top 40 this week."
"No. Shut. Up. When did you find out?"
"Today. Have you checked your messages?"
She shook her head.
"Well, I left you a message. The record label is going into heavy publicity mode. And that includes an appearance at the Grammys. They are even going to walk the red carpet."
Her face colored slightly as if she wasn't pleased with that bit of information. "They are, but not us, right?"
"No, we are too."
"Why? It's not like you're famous or anything."
"Even though I am the executive producer, I am still their A&R guy and the company wants me to represent them on the red carpet."
"I still don't get it." By that point, her arms were folded, her attitude had completely changed and she appeared to have stopped listening to me.
"You know when you're watching the E! red carpet show, how all the artists have a group of people walking with them?"
"Yeah."
"Well, that's what I'll be doing."
"I see. But what do you need me for?" We both looked up as snow flurries began to fall.
"Anna?"
"Ryan, it's work for you. You don't need me to slow things down."
"What the hell are you talking about? Just a minute ago, you were all for this then suddenly you change your mind?" It made no sense to me. I almost suggested that she could skip the red carpet and just meet me in the hall but I stopped myself. Something was definitely off.
"It's nothing, Ryan. I guess it's different from what I imagined."
"Anna, I am not a mind reader. If you don't tell me what's wrong, how am I supposed to know what's going on? What's brought this on?" I'd begun to wonder if she was not the person I thought she was. She was great most of the time but sometimes, somewhat frequent sometimes, she just had to be a drama queen and I wasn't sure I liked dealing with that side of her personality.
"It's nothing," she said, walking ahead of me. "When does the show start? Do I have enough time to go to Duane Reade? I need to get some aspirin."
I caught up with her and grabbed her shoulder. "Anna, what's going on? Remember when we promised that there should be no secrets between us?"
"Yes," she said, looking away from me.
"So tell me."
She stood uncomfortably, kicking her heels and shifting her weight from foot to foot. "It's just that…"
"What?"
"It's nothing Ryan," she replied, shaking her head and pursing her lips.
"Anna, just tell me."
"It's just… It's just, Seth…"
I released her from my grip and backed away. "Seth? How the hell did Seth get into this conversation?"
"It's just that if we are going to be on the red carpet together, there's a good chance Seth will see us." She looked at me uncertainly before averting her eyes again.
"What? We aren't even going to be interviewed. How will he see us?"
"Didn't you just mention seeing the entourages at interviews?"
I shook my head - I couldn't believe what I was hearing. From three thousand miles away, Seth had managed to interfere once again. "So you don't want to come to the show at the off chance Seth might be watching the pre-show? This is just plain ridiculous," I said, saying that last sentence under my breath.
"Listen, Ryan, I am not ready to put him through this."
"He knows we are together -that's why he's stopped talking to me, it's the reason he moved out of our apartment. He knows this. How is seeing us together going to hurt him more?"
"It just will. I can't risk it. Everything is just so recent. I can't even risk hurting him any further - I just can't do it." The fact she looked so pained only served to irk me further. For all this talk about Seth, had she once thought about me? About my feelings?
"Alright," I said. We stood in silence for a few moments. Then I moved to the side of the road and when I saw that it was free, crossed it.
"Ryan, where are you going?" she called, following me.
"I'm going to the subway station."
"Why? Aren't you coming to see the show with me?" She put her hand into my jacket pocket and held on tight to keep me from moving.
"Of course not. What would Seth do if he saw us in the audience?" I asked sarcastically.
"He stopped watching Letterman."
Fuck. Disgusted, I pulled her hand from my pocket then walked into the train station. At that moment, I couldn't even stomach looking at her.
