A/N: This is an angst fiction that suddenly dawned on me on a rainy day... I promise to update the chapters soon and you don't have to worry that I won't because June Holiday's coming!

Dedication: This fic is specially for all rainy days... dedicated to all forms of water (especially ice)... all forms of fire... and just for myself...

Disclaimer: The usual: don't own, don't sue.

Genre: yaoi (what else do you expect?); deathfic; a little, okay maybe a lot of, angst


Chapter I

Dripping with rainwater from his hair and clothes, and ignoring the nurses' call, he entered the ward. There, on the bed, lay that one missing piece from his heart, that one missing piece that could fill all the void he was now feeling. The face was of little colour, of little life, same old koibito of his but different just as he was different himself. Those brown eyes that used to warm him were now tightly closed, so were those lips that used to shape his name. How he yearned to hear that loud and boisterous voice again or see those amazing pools but all he could do now was to sit and stare at the lifeless form. He wanted to touch the ghostly-white face, those closed eyes, those pale lips. He wanted to run his fingers through the soft red hair again. But he could not. He was wet, he could not risk his koibito's life just for a moment of his own pleasure. Neither did he want to leave his koibito's side to dry himself. Not even one split moment. Everything was silent and the form in front of him could just be dead if not for the constant reminder from the beeping of the machine that monitored heartbeat.

"Rukawa?" Ayako tapped the silent boy's shoulder upon entering the ward. Rukawa did not response.

"Rukawa..." Ayako tried again. "Rukawa! Please dry yourself, you'll get sick if you don't."

"I don't want to leave Hana's side."

"But..." Ayako frantically tried to search for a reason. "I'm sure Hana would want you to do that. I mean, you surely want to be the first person Hana sees when he wakes up. You don't want to be stuck in a bed when that happens, do you?"

Rukawa's head snapped up at that comment. "Bring me towel."

Ayako gladly requested one from a nurse. The ward was once again silent. The quietness was suffocating her and tears threatened to flow as she watched Rukawa dry himself without taking an eye off Hanamichi.

"Would you mind leaving us alone? I have something to tell Hana." Rukawa suddenly spoke.

"But..."

"Please."

"Sigh. Okay. But I've brought your favourite porridge and a carton of milk. Remember to eat okay? Don't tire yourself out." Ayako sighed as she left the room with one last glance at the boy seated at the bedside. Rukawa just nodded.

After he made sure that Ayako had gone and he had locked the door, Rukawa sat down again beside the bed. He held the unconscious red-head's hand in his own and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Hana... wake up. You've slept for a long time already. I missed you terribly. I want to play one-on-one with you again. And I promise that I would not be so obsessed with my work and spend more time with you." Rukawa spoke to the sleeping form in front of him.

"Hey, do you remember the promise you made? You said you'll always be by my side, never to leave me but to share my every joy, every sorrow, my every victory, every failure. But you weren't there when I won my first game with the Japanese National team.

"You selfish do'aho. You are here in your happy dreamland but you don't care about anyone else's feeling... you don't care about my suffering, you don't wake up and comfort me... you don't keep to your promise...

"I know you can hear me, you do'aho. I know you can hear me... so you better wake up this very moment or I'll never bother about you any...anymore..." Rukawa chocked and his voice threatened to break.

"Do'aho... I missed you calling me 'baka kistune'... no one calls me that... no one except you. Do'aho... remember that day when you first kissed me? You said you'd never tasted anything sweeter and asked me how I felt. I shrugged that question off. Well, now let me tell you. You taste like heaven, the moment our lips touched, I felt myself drifting to paradise. You are the only one to make me feel that way... and I want that feeling again... please Hana..." Pause, silence. Rukawa squeezed his eyes shut, to prevent any tear from rolling down, and brushed his lips lightly over the lifeless hand in his own.

"Hana... remember our first date?" Rukawa, now desperate to talk about anything to fill the ward that was pregnant with silence, asked. "It was a disaster, ne? and I never had a chance to make up for that... if you'll just wake up, I'll take you to anywhere you fancy... is it Danny's? I'd already asked the boss to reserve your favourite spot... it's there waiting for you... everything is prepared, all waiting for you to wake up... won't you say you'll wake up? Even if it's just for one second... just to see how disastrous you've left me. Then you can decide whether to go back to sleep again...

"Oh ya, Ayako-san was here just now, she brought porridge, my favourite... also yours, ne? So if you don't wake up, I'll finish the whole pot. Hey, you remember that time I was high with fever? You were all over me, fussing about this and that and kept asking what I wanted... to keep you from breathing down my neck... I offhandedly told you that I wanted my favourite porridge... and you bolted up at that instant and said you'll be back in a moment. But after sometime, I smelt a burnt smell and a yelp from the kitchen. I dragged myself out of bed and went to the kitchen. There you were sucking on a burnt fingering and cursing the burnt porridge. When you saw me, you pouted and said you'd never make any porridge anymore... that expression on your face was unforgettable and so hilarious... haha..."

Rukawa's laughter soon died as he felt a lump in his throat and this time, he finally broke down and sobbed. Tears rolled down his cheeks uncontrollably as he hung his head low, hand still holding on to Hanamichi's lifeless one tightly.

"Hana..." Rukawa chocked. Tired with the crying, but more from the emotional torture, Rukawa collapsed into a deep sleep, with his head cushioned on one side of the bed, his hand still tightly holding on to the other's.

A nurse came in as it was lights out time. There, beside the bed, slept Rukawa. She quickly took an extra blanket and covered the sleeping boy. Although the hospital's rule was that no visitor was allowed after light out but Rukawa was special case. Everyone in the hospital knew Rukawa by now. He was such a frequent visitor that everyone suspected if he ever left the hospital besides going for his JNT training. The hospital had made special exception for Rukawa to stay after lights out ever since that particular incident when he showed violence upon requested to leave.

"Sakuragi Hanamichi... you are really lucky to have such a devoted lover... sigh... I hope miracle will dawn on you two..." The nurse sighed as she left the ward.


A/N: A long chapter... hope you like it, do review!