Fern and Alan arrived together at the elementary school the next morning, and hurried to the computer lab to observe the reactions of the other kids to the new entry in the school's web site. They were mixed, ranging from blank-faced incredulity (Beat) to boiling rage (Francine).

"You did this!" the furious monkey girl bellowed at Fern, as Arthur tried to hold her back with a hand over her shoulder. "You're the only one with the skills! How could you do this to me?"

"Calm down, Francine," said Alan, approaching her slowly. "You want to know what April and Augusta are up to as much as we do."

"You endangered my parents!" shrieked Francine.

"We had to show April we weren't bluffing," Fern explained.

"Augusta tried to find us last night," Alan related to Francine. "She came to both our houses. I spent the night at Marina's, and Fern spent it at Mrs. McGrady's. We didn't tell our parents where we were, in case Augusta used her truth spells on them."

"If she'd found us, she would have hypnotized us and made us forget," Fern added. "Now the whole school knows."

"But April knows where my...where Sue Ellen's parents are," answered Francine, sounding a little less angry. "What if enemy spies kidnap her and torture the information out of her?"

"With Augusta protecting her?" came Alan's snide reply. "Not likely."

Francine glared indignantly at the boy. "You promised you wouldn't tell anyone," she complained.

Alan shook his head. "I didn't promise anything."

"Neither did I," Fern interjected.

"Well, you could have at least talked to me about this first," Francine groused.

Word of the strange new story on the school web site spread quickly, and the computer lab was swamped with curious students. Mr. Wald noticed with concern that four of his pupils--Binky, Mavis, George, and Muffy--were absent at the appointed time to begin his lesson. "Is everyone sick?" he asked the kids who were present. "Is it the carrot juice virus all over again?"

A few moments later Muffy and George entered the classroom, engaged in a debate over what they had read. "It's pure drivel," insisted Muffy. "It paints Augusta as some sort of wicked witch."

"But the fact that Sue Ellen's dad is a spy explains a lot," said George.

"What's this?" inquired Mr. Wald as the two kids sat behind their desks. "Sue Ellen's father is a spy?"

"Yeah, haven't you seen the school web site?" replied Van. Two desks away from him, Francine scowled miserably.

"It's just a silly conspiracy theory," Beat grumbled. "Someone's trying to explain why Sue Ellen moved away suddenly and an older girl showed up who looks just like her."

As Mr. Wald picked up a slab of chalk, Binky and Mavis walked in. "Are you also late because you were reading the school web site?" he asked them.

"No, Mr. Wald," replied Mavis, who was clutching a short stack of papers. "We're late because we were making copies of our new Spongebrain cartoon."

"But everybody's so excited about the Sue Ellen story," added Binky, "that we'll wait until the end of the day to hand it out."

Soon everyone was in their seats, and a lecture on prepositions followed.

By the time morning recess arrived, some of the kids who hadn't taken an interest in April Murphy's secret identity had convinced Binky and Mavis to give them advance copies of Spongebrain Smartypants Issue 2. As for Arthur and Francine, they were only interested in each other.

They held hands on a playground bench, kissing only when asked to do so by a curious passerby. Before long several of their friends had gathered around to watch the show.

"I'm happy for you, Frankie," Beat told the girl. "You finally have the boyfriend you always wanted. I guess you're normal after all."

"Someday you'll find one, Beat," said Francine after drawing her lips away from Arthur's face.

"We shall see," Beat replied. As she strolled away from the scene, a pained expression appeared on her face.

Then Muffy spoke to the lovers. "This is what happens when you follow my romantic advice," she boasted.

"You never gave us any romantic advice," said Arthur.

"Exactly," replied Muffy. "As you can see, the best advice to give in your case was no advice at all."

"It's hard to believe you're moving out of your mansion, after all the years you lived in it," Francine remarked.

"I'll miss the old girl," Muffy sighed. "But one good thing will come out of it. My friend Augusta will get her first major account."

In another part of the city, Ed and Millicent Crosswire were seated on the opposite side of a desk from real estate agent Augusta Winslow. On this important occasion the rabbit woman wore a turquiose embroidered dress which she had picked on her own without help from Muffy or Maria.

"I'm sure you're very talented," Mr. Crosswire said to her, "and our daughter highly recommends you, but given the circumstances, we would prefer to go with someone who has more experience with negotiation."

"No, you wouldn't," said Augusta, subtly waving her fingers at the pair.

"No, we wouldn't," repeated Mr. Crosswire.

"I'll do just fine," said Augusta.

"You'll do just fine," intoned Mrs. Crosswire.

Back at the Lakewood playground, George and Sal were enjoying themselves on the swings when they saw Dudley approach them. They stuck out their feet to ground themselves, certain that trouble was brewing.

"What do you want, Dudley?" asked George anxiously.

"He's gonna use his magic powers to turn us into snakes, then squish us," Sal speculated.

"I don't have magic powers anymore," said Dudley.

For a few seconds George and Sal stared at Dudley, who stared back.

"Mrs. Powers grounded me for the entire weekend," Dudley spoke up. "I had plenty of time to think. You know that I've been through a lot. All my female relatives were executed, my father abandoned me, I was thrown three hundred years into the future, I became evil and made people suffer, I turned into a boy, and I lost my powers. I have nothing left--nothing but two foster parents who take good care of me, in spite of all the bad things I've done. I don't want to lose that." He breathed deeply and sadly. "I'm sorry for killing a snake in front of you, Sal. I'm sorry for punching you, George."

George and Sal fell silent as Dudley's apology sank in. Then, all of a sudden, Molly and Rattles appeared behind the rat boy.

"Hey, Dudley, let's see you give George another black eye," Molly goaded him.

Dudley turned and regarded the two bullies dispassionately. "I have decided that I don't want to embrace the life of a troublemaker after all," he announced. "However, I would like to maintain our friendship. I believe we have much in common, and would all benefit from mutual association."

Rattles made a choked-up expression. "There's a weird feeling in my stomach," he told Molly.

"Is it the warm fuzzy feeling you get when someone expresses genuine concern for your welfare for no other reason except that you're a fellow human being?" asked Molly earnestly.

"No, just gas." Rattles glared menacingly at Dudley. "If you're not with us, you're against us. See you after detention, wimp."

The tough boy walked off, but Molly remained behind, apparently touched and baffled by Dudley's sentiments.

"There's no reason for you to go on looking like a tramp, Molly," the boy continued. "With a decent wardrobe and better grooming, you have the potential to become a truly beautiful girl. I've always wondered what your eyes look like behind all that bushy hair. Do you hide them to avoid making the other girls jealous?"

Overwhelmed by Dudley's kind and flattering words, the rabbit girl grinned sweetly and clasped her hands over her heart.

George glanced down at his Bionic Bunny watch. "Hey, it's time for class."

"See you later, Molly," said Dudley, waving. "Think about what I said."

As he headed toward the school building in the company of George and Sal, Molly chased after him, crying out, "Dudley, wait! Come back!"

TBC