Chapter I
Sweet Summer Days
It was a mellow day in summer, being not too hot, not too cold, yet perfect. Fruit wandered from branch to branch of apples trees, making life as colorful as possible. The grass was glistening with dewdrops like little jems, and the air scented sweet and warm, blending in perfectly with the atmosphere. Anne Shirley walked down in the bliss of sunset sunshine. "What a lovely day", she said to herself. "Hawhawhaw!" Laughter echoed down the kitchen at Green Gables, and Anne found herself being knocked over by Diana Barry and Jane Andrews who were chasing each other around. "Don't soak up all the sunshine, fartbag!" Jane yelled to Anne. Anne sighed as she got up. Jane and Diana had been spending a lot of time together lately. A little too much time. They always invited themselves over to Green Gables and always made playdates at Green Gables, never at their own homes. They always did ridiculous things, like chased each other around, played Give Davy a Wedgie, played hide and seek in the most odd spots, such as toilets and other people's trousers, and pulled on Marilla's mustache as often as possible. Anne swept her new dress which had gotten a little dirty from being knocked over, and headed towards the backyard. Marilla had now changed minds and decided that the most serviceable dresses were the ones that were now in fashion. They were called "mid-riff", and no one quite knew, except maybe Mrs. Rachel Lynde why they were called that. All they knew were they looked like the outfits that young ladies wore at certain night concerts where young lads liked to go. In the backyard, she heard lots of "oooh's" and "aaahh's", and she saw what was causing all the interest. Diana and Jane were sitting on an old tire and broken chair, while Matthew Cuthbert and Mr. Barry, Diana's father, were getting it on. "Ooh, I'm telling mother", said Diana with relish. Mr. Barry didn't even hear her, although they were only a couple feet apart. Anne sat herself down next to Diana and Jane on another broken chair. "So much scope for the imagination here", she sighed blissfully.
Chapter II
Anne Shirley is surprised
"I just love cranberry muffins, don't you?" asked Diana, opening a brown paper bag and pulling out two muffins. Diana, Anne, and Jane Andrews were eating lunch together on the grass near the road by Carmody. The smell of the sweet muffins wafted over to Anne, who had as much to eat as a hobo. "Diana, those muffins smell absolutely Satan!" exclaimed Jane. Anne noticed the muffins were too big for one person to eat both, and also noticed that Diana was reaching out with the muffin towards her. "Diana," she blushed, "you don't really need to...." Diana, who had just noticed that Anne was speaking promptly said, "Oh, you needn't. I was going to give it to Jane." And she reached her hand out past Anne and dropped the muffin onto Jane's plate. Jane giggled. "Thank you, dear Diana!" she wheedled. Anne's mouth dropped. But before she could point out she had nothing to eat and that Diana was her best friend, Gilbert Blythe came along on his white mare. Gilbert was Anne's secret beau, although neither of them even knew it. "Whoa horsie", he said to the horse. The horse gave no sign of hearing him. "Horsie, stop", he said, this time a little more firmly. The horse indicated not one movement of halting. "I said, SLOW DOWN HOE!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. The horse, not used to this kind of harsh tone, got frightened and started galloping. Gilbert was not expecting this sudden movement and was thrown off his horse. The girls all screamed, and Gilbert landed in Janes plate. The horse galloped away, and Gilbert, obviously embarrassed, tried to make conversation. "So," he started casually, still in Jane's dinner things, " whats up like the Yankees say?" The girls looked at one another, and shrugged. Gilbert's father was known to be a person who robbed other beings, and a new term for these kind of people had reached Avonlea. Muggers, they were called. If they had laughed scornfully in Gilbert's face, liked they had intended to do, Gilbert would have undoubtfully told his thief daddy, and he would have mugged the poor girls. "Whats going on, Gilbert Blythe?" asked Diana. "I just wanted to, uh, drop by" said Gilbert with a glint in his eye. The girls all looked at one another. "It was a joke, you ugly orphans" said Gilbert, annoyed at their stupidity. "Ohhhh!" expressions of understanding dawned on the three girls' faces. They had a nice time talking about things except for the fact that Jane couldn't have her muffin, which Anne was secretly happy about. "So whats with spending all your time with Jane?" asked Gilbert, questioning Diana. "I just like Jane, thats all", was Diana's casual answer. "But I thought you and Anne were bosom friends", objected Gilbert. "You always spent time together, and now its just you and Jane I always see." Anne, for the first time, noticed a queer look on Diana's face. "Diana", she interrupted, "what is wrong?" Diana knew she was trapped like a bug in the middle of a big, sticky spiderweb. "Well, Anne, I thought you'd know by know", she sighed heavily. "You know I've always liked Gilbert as a bosom budder. And since father has been getting it on with Matthew, I've been interested. But since you hogged Gilbert, I've turned my intentions to....." She looked at Jane with shining eyes. Jane batted her flaky eyelashes at Diana. This was all too much for poor Anne. "You know what?" she said breathlessly, "I think Marilla is waiting for me to dissect the poop of a stable horse. So I've got to go." She picked up her bag and flew down the road. "Anne, wait!" she heard Gilbert shout. She didn't even think of pausing and ran down the road even faster, the dust of the dry road flying up behind her. Soon, Gilbert had caught up to her. "Anne," he coughed. "Anne I know.....man you let a lot of dirt fly when you run. I swallowed a lot by accident," cough cough, "I know why you ran away so fast. Its because of Diana and Jane, isn't it?" Anne looked at him with eyes full of tears. "Yes, yes it is because of those two unimaginative baboons. I knew something was going on for awhile, and I don't know why I didn't see it coming. They've been going over to each others houses or rather, mine all the time, bringing wholesome fruit tarts to each other, gazing at each other with pretty eyes, oh its getting disgusting!" Anne started crying, or rather wailing like a donkey when she turned to Gilbert for comfort. Anne was happy to see his face was full of concern, until she saw he wasn't looking at her. He was playing with a loose thread on his trousers. "I hope mom doesn't see this, she hates it when I rip my new clothes," Gilbert said totally unaware of Anne's furious red face. "I HATE YOU ALL!" she screeched. With that she kicked Gilbert with all her might in the knee, leaving him hopped in pain on one leg, turned on her heel and ran all the way down the dusty road again. "When Mrs. Lynde said she had a temper, she meant fiery temper," said Gilbert painfully. "And would you look at that, she let all that dust fly again....." And he was left coughing chokes until Josie Pye came and tried to molest him.
Sweet Summer Days
It was a mellow day in summer, being not too hot, not too cold, yet perfect. Fruit wandered from branch to branch of apples trees, making life as colorful as possible. The grass was glistening with dewdrops like little jems, and the air scented sweet and warm, blending in perfectly with the atmosphere. Anne Shirley walked down in the bliss of sunset sunshine. "What a lovely day", she said to herself. "Hawhawhaw!" Laughter echoed down the kitchen at Green Gables, and Anne found herself being knocked over by Diana Barry and Jane Andrews who were chasing each other around. "Don't soak up all the sunshine, fartbag!" Jane yelled to Anne. Anne sighed as she got up. Jane and Diana had been spending a lot of time together lately. A little too much time. They always invited themselves over to Green Gables and always made playdates at Green Gables, never at their own homes. They always did ridiculous things, like chased each other around, played Give Davy a Wedgie, played hide and seek in the most odd spots, such as toilets and other people's trousers, and pulled on Marilla's mustache as often as possible. Anne swept her new dress which had gotten a little dirty from being knocked over, and headed towards the backyard. Marilla had now changed minds and decided that the most serviceable dresses were the ones that were now in fashion. They were called "mid-riff", and no one quite knew, except maybe Mrs. Rachel Lynde why they were called that. All they knew were they looked like the outfits that young ladies wore at certain night concerts where young lads liked to go. In the backyard, she heard lots of "oooh's" and "aaahh's", and she saw what was causing all the interest. Diana and Jane were sitting on an old tire and broken chair, while Matthew Cuthbert and Mr. Barry, Diana's father, were getting it on. "Ooh, I'm telling mother", said Diana with relish. Mr. Barry didn't even hear her, although they were only a couple feet apart. Anne sat herself down next to Diana and Jane on another broken chair. "So much scope for the imagination here", she sighed blissfully.
Chapter II
Anne Shirley is surprised
"I just love cranberry muffins, don't you?" asked Diana, opening a brown paper bag and pulling out two muffins. Diana, Anne, and Jane Andrews were eating lunch together on the grass near the road by Carmody. The smell of the sweet muffins wafted over to Anne, who had as much to eat as a hobo. "Diana, those muffins smell absolutely Satan!" exclaimed Jane. Anne noticed the muffins were too big for one person to eat both, and also noticed that Diana was reaching out with the muffin towards her. "Diana," she blushed, "you don't really need to...." Diana, who had just noticed that Anne was speaking promptly said, "Oh, you needn't. I was going to give it to Jane." And she reached her hand out past Anne and dropped the muffin onto Jane's plate. Jane giggled. "Thank you, dear Diana!" she wheedled. Anne's mouth dropped. But before she could point out she had nothing to eat and that Diana was her best friend, Gilbert Blythe came along on his white mare. Gilbert was Anne's secret beau, although neither of them even knew it. "Whoa horsie", he said to the horse. The horse gave no sign of hearing him. "Horsie, stop", he said, this time a little more firmly. The horse indicated not one movement of halting. "I said, SLOW DOWN HOE!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. The horse, not used to this kind of harsh tone, got frightened and started galloping. Gilbert was not expecting this sudden movement and was thrown off his horse. The girls all screamed, and Gilbert landed in Janes plate. The horse galloped away, and Gilbert, obviously embarrassed, tried to make conversation. "So," he started casually, still in Jane's dinner things, " whats up like the Yankees say?" The girls looked at one another, and shrugged. Gilbert's father was known to be a person who robbed other beings, and a new term for these kind of people had reached Avonlea. Muggers, they were called. If they had laughed scornfully in Gilbert's face, liked they had intended to do, Gilbert would have undoubtfully told his thief daddy, and he would have mugged the poor girls. "Whats going on, Gilbert Blythe?" asked Diana. "I just wanted to, uh, drop by" said Gilbert with a glint in his eye. The girls all looked at one another. "It was a joke, you ugly orphans" said Gilbert, annoyed at their stupidity. "Ohhhh!" expressions of understanding dawned on the three girls' faces. They had a nice time talking about things except for the fact that Jane couldn't have her muffin, which Anne was secretly happy about. "So whats with spending all your time with Jane?" asked Gilbert, questioning Diana. "I just like Jane, thats all", was Diana's casual answer. "But I thought you and Anne were bosom friends", objected Gilbert. "You always spent time together, and now its just you and Jane I always see." Anne, for the first time, noticed a queer look on Diana's face. "Diana", she interrupted, "what is wrong?" Diana knew she was trapped like a bug in the middle of a big, sticky spiderweb. "Well, Anne, I thought you'd know by know", she sighed heavily. "You know I've always liked Gilbert as a bosom budder. And since father has been getting it on with Matthew, I've been interested. But since you hogged Gilbert, I've turned my intentions to....." She looked at Jane with shining eyes. Jane batted her flaky eyelashes at Diana. This was all too much for poor Anne. "You know what?" she said breathlessly, "I think Marilla is waiting for me to dissect the poop of a stable horse. So I've got to go." She picked up her bag and flew down the road. "Anne, wait!" she heard Gilbert shout. She didn't even think of pausing and ran down the road even faster, the dust of the dry road flying up behind her. Soon, Gilbert had caught up to her. "Anne," he coughed. "Anne I know.....man you let a lot of dirt fly when you run. I swallowed a lot by accident," cough cough, "I know why you ran away so fast. Its because of Diana and Jane, isn't it?" Anne looked at him with eyes full of tears. "Yes, yes it is because of those two unimaginative baboons. I knew something was going on for awhile, and I don't know why I didn't see it coming. They've been going over to each others houses or rather, mine all the time, bringing wholesome fruit tarts to each other, gazing at each other with pretty eyes, oh its getting disgusting!" Anne started crying, or rather wailing like a donkey when she turned to Gilbert for comfort. Anne was happy to see his face was full of concern, until she saw he wasn't looking at her. He was playing with a loose thread on his trousers. "I hope mom doesn't see this, she hates it when I rip my new clothes," Gilbert said totally unaware of Anne's furious red face. "I HATE YOU ALL!" she screeched. With that she kicked Gilbert with all her might in the knee, leaving him hopped in pain on one leg, turned on her heel and ran all the way down the dusty road again. "When Mrs. Lynde said she had a temper, she meant fiery temper," said Gilbert painfully. "And would you look at that, she let all that dust fly again....." And he was left coughing chokes until Josie Pye came and tried to molest him.
