Chibi Vicki-san: Hello everybody! I, the wonderful pure hearted angel of
love...
Neko: I, the all flirtatious, queen of the damned, slutty Egyptian
cat/person...
Angel: I, the queen of all cuteness who's really really cute^o^...
Psychotic 101: and I, the mistress of all darkness, evil, and psychotics...
MWAHAHA!!
Chibi Vicki-san: will now convey the second part of the epic saga that is-
Everybody: The Yu-Gi-Oh! Happy Super Fun time Vegas Adventure
Extravaganza!!
CVS: (heh heh my initials spell the name of a drugstore...heh drugs...oh
crap I'm thinking on the paper again!) I mean first we must hand out thank
yous- (Tre looks up hopefully)
Neko: To those who actually deserve them.
Tre: I'm still getting one, right?
Angel: Heh heh, right.
CVS: First, I would like to thank Psychotic 101, whose love for Shadi made
this story possible.
P101: I'm going to kill you when we get to school.
CVS: Whoops! I'm sorry, that's Noah you like.
P101: Mommy! Where did you put my chainsaw?
CVS: Next, I would like to thank Neko-
Neko: Yes! Yes! Thank me very much. So when do I get to %*@# Marik?
CVS: When I'm done-uh I mean eventually.
Neko: What did you do to my man?! (pulls out a flame-thrower)
CVS: (backs away slowly) Uh....right. Finally, I would like to thank Angel.
Angel: I'm her inspiration!! I don't even remember why! giggle
CVS: Because everything you said was morally wrong over the millions of
years I've known you, I put it all in this story. Next, we'd like to give a
shout out to all of our friends, some people at a certain Lutheran school
and everyone else we know.
Everyone in unison: EXCEPT FOR TRE!
Tre: Fine, whatever. (drives off in a Cadillac)
Neko:(flips him off) Yeah, like I care.
P101: That's okay, Neko. (Revs chainsaw) I have a plan.
CVS: Right! Let's go!
Chapter 2: Raunchy Love Roulette
"Flight 292 for Vegas now landing."
"Oh thank Ra! exclaimed Marik. He detested flying coach, especially with such nitwits. The seats were all cramped and his headphones stopped working, causing him to miss the end of "The Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood," a film that truly touched him. If the technical difficulties weren't enough, he had the misfortune of sitting between Tea, an airsick female, (or was she?) and Bakura (need I say more?). The only thing that helped him to keep his sanity was his laptop, the very device that got him into this mess in the first place. "That is the last time my Yami gets me to search for porn," Marik growled under his breath as he headed for baggage claim.
"Uh, miss?" asked the security guard when Marik arrived. "Uh excuse me, sir?" he asked again as Marik glared at him with a piercing stare. "What do you want, insolent worm," replied Marik, pissed because again his gender had been mistaken. "It's just that...you have to go through the metal detector," pleaded the security guard. "And why should I listen to you," growled Marik. "W-well it's just to see whether or not you have a gun or a weapon," said the guard uneasily. Marik leaned in closer. "If I had a gun with me," he began angrily, "you wouldn't still be here. Now let me pass before I-" Marik stopped abruptly as he felt a hand around his wrist. "Come now," said an innocent British voice, "wouldn't want to be separated from the group, dear, would we?" "What the fuck are you up to, Bakura?" growled Marik under his breath. "Uh...um...who are you, miss?" asked the guard uneasily. "Oh, my name's not important, but I'm his girlfriend, and he's my fiancée," replied Bakura nonchalantly. "And we've already passed through security, thank you." You are so lucky I left my gun and pocket knives in the card shop, thought Marik. "Oh, well I'm very sorry, sir," said the security guard as he moved closer to Marik. "By the way," he whispered, pointing at Bakura, "does she have a sister?" "Don't make me kill you," scowled Marik. "Come, honey, we have to be going now!" Bakura rang out cheerily. "Yes...........dear.............." said Marik, clenching his teeth as they walked away. Meanwhile, in a soul room...
"AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yami was right!" roared Yami Marik in uncontrollable laughter. "He's not gay," stated Yami Bakura, "he's was just helping his friend in need...yeah." Yami Bakura said this not only to defend his hikari, but also to reassure himself of what he thought was the truth. Maybe it is taking a toll on his mental well being, he thought to himself. It would explain the strange thoughts that his hikari had transmitted to him by accident. I want you bad. Yami Bakura shuddered. Another one of Bakura's random thoughts had seeped its way into his conscience. "I know it is wrong," Yami Bakura thought, "but it feels so right." "What feels so right?" interrupted Yami Marik. "What!" screamed Yami Bakura. "How can you read my thoughts?" "I can't. You said that out loud." "Uh..........no I didn't." "Yes, you did," claimed Yami Marik. "Uh....no I didn't...and you should forget what I thought...and did not say...or think for that matter. "Right," began Yami Marik. "So what did you do that felt-" "Look! A bunny!!" yelled Yami Bakura in a desperate attempt to distract him. "Where! WHERE!!" screamed Yami Marik. "Bunny must die! BUNNY MUST DIE!!" he yelled as he searched for his flame-thrower. Yami Bakura sighed with relief. In a limousine on an interstate highway... "Twenty bottles of non-alcoholic beverages on the wall, 20 bottles of non- beer! You take one down, pass it around-" "Yugi, will you quit that infernal singing!!" screamed the tortured Yami. He had been riding in a car with Yugi and Yugi's new friend Michael for hours, and he was on the brink of suicide to put himself out of his misery. "I can't help it!" Yugi said to Yami in his head. "I'm just so excited! Once we get to Vegas, Grandpa will give me his surprise! I can't wait!" God, he's stupid, thought Yami to himself. Maybe that's because it is affecting his mental well being. But I can't give that up because- "What are you thinking, Yami?" said Yugi in his head. "Uh...nothing!" Yami replied, rather startled. "Now go back to your song or something." "Nah. That's getting kinda old. Michael decided we should play a new game!" "Oh, what's that?" asked Yami, relieved that the punishment was over. "Twister!!" "Oh, God, no! Yugi!!!" screamed Yami, but it was too late; the spinner had been spun and Michael uttered the words 'right hand red.' Meanwhile...
Grandpa sat alone at the Taco Bell at the airport. He was quite content: He had no annoying kids bothering him....especially his grandson. He just sat there, calm and peaceful with his evening paper. However, he felt slightly uneasy; there was a stranger at the counter eating a gordita. He had sharp yellow eyes and short blue hair. He wore all black, except for a large trench coat with spikes. Every now and then, he would stare at Grandpa with hungry eyes, which seemed pretty strange seeing as he was calmly devouring his thirty-seventh gordita. Grandpa became even more frightened when he glanced at the paper, and saw the stranger's description under the list of most wanted grandpa grabbers. "Hey, Gramps!!!" screamed a familiar voice. "Whoa! What the fu-" started Grandpa. "Oh," he sighed. "It's just you, Joey." "What about us!" demanded Tea. "Yeah!" added Tristan. "Oh...um..yeah, hi," said Grandpa. "I know I'm gonna regret this, but where are your friends, Marik and Bakura?" "Oh you mean us?" asked an innocent British voice. Bakura and Marik entered the McDonald's- P101: You said Taco Bell. CVS: Uh...no I didn't. P101: Yes you did! CVS: Um...uh......Look! A bunny! P101: Where! Bunny must die! CVS: Right, anyway....
Bakura and Marik entered the Taco Bell in the most unusual fashion: Bakura skipped in gleefully, holding Marik's hand while Marik dragged his feet, looking both disturbed and pissed. "What happened to you, Marik?" asked Joey in a sly tone. "Yeah," added Tristan. "I'd rather not say-" began Marik as Joey and Tristan began to snicker. "I'd rather not say, because then I'd have to kill you," said Marik menacingly. Joey and Tristan shut up.
Grandpa smiled. Everything was nice and peaceful without Yugi. Now if only I could get rid of Tea, He thought to himself. "Come on kids," he began, "we're going to miss our ride to the casino!" Everyone cheered. Everyone except Marik, who realized that however they drove to the casino, he would have to sit next to Bakura. Bakura grabbed his hand and smiled at him. Marik shuddered. They all filed out of the restaurant. The blue haired stranger followed.
-"I wish I could touch more than his hand."
Yami Bakura shuddered. His hikari had accidentally transmitted another one of those random thoughts to his mind. Yami Bakura was even too panicked too come up with a witty retort as Yami Marik kept taunting him about his hikari's sexuality. "My Ra!" Yami Marik exclaimed. "How could you possibly think you're hikari isn't gay?" "I know he isn't," stated Yami Bakura. "He's..uh.. just using the buddy system! You know, so they don't...uh...get lost! That's a pretty big airport." Once again, Bakura was trying to reassure himself. It was a good thing, he thought, that Yami Marik can't hear those thoughts. The random thoughts of passion that plagued Bakura's mind. Yami Bakura shuddered. In a limousine on a state highway....
"Hee hee!" Yugi giggled. "Michael, we're all twisted up in knots!" Oh God, kill me now! pleaded Yami to himself. "Yugi, I don't think you should be playing twister with.....him." "Why not?" Yugi innocently said to Yami. "Well....uh...because boys...and stuff....and..um...yeah," stated Yami uneasily. He then proceeded with a long explanation that involved birds, bees, salmon, streams, mayonnaise, sandwiches, and the fusion dance. (However, I shall not repeat it because I myself am still traumatized.) "You understand, Yugi?" inquired Yami after his talk was finished. "Huh?" said Yugi. "I don't get it." "JUST STOP PLAYING TWISTER!!!!!!" screamed Yami. "Oh! You don't have to worry about that anymore. You see," Yugi began, "playing twister made us really sore, so we quit." "Thank God!" sighed Yami with relief. He shuddered. Usually, when things seemed right, they always had a way of going wrong. "What are you going to do now?" he asked slightly nervous. "Simple! Since we're both sore," began Yugi, "Michael suggested we take a dip in his hot tub!" "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Yami. But then, he had a revelation. "Yugi, you can't go into the hot tub," he began slightly relieved, "because you don't have any swimming trunks!" "Oh, that's okay. Michael keeps a stock of speedos in his limo, and he has many in my size!" Yami stood in shock. "Yugi, I'm going to take a long walk off a short pier in cement shoes and a blindfold; if I'm lucky, I'll see you in Hell." "Silly goose!" Yugi exclaimed as he slipped into the hot tub. "We're almost at the casino!" Caesar's Palace Casino-Las Vegas
Grandpa's limousine pulled up to the casino, which stood in the middle of the illuminated Vegas strip. The casino was massive-unbelievably gigantic. It was truly worthy of the name palace. "Whoa!" exclaimed Joey as he gazed at the sights. "Yeah....." said Tristan in awe. "Look at all the lights, Marik!" exclaimed Bakura. "Aren't they beautiful?" "Yeah," Marik began. "It reminds me of an orphanage I set on fire-" Marik stopped abruptly. As much as he would have loved to continue his story, a certain innocent British boy began to snuggle up to him, resting his head on Marik's shoulder. Marik shuddered. Try as he might, he couldn't escape Bakura's grasp on his arm, and when he tried to pull away, Bakura would pull harder and lean closer to him. "You're lucky it looks like you're sleeping," Marik whispered in disgust. "Because if I kill you now, I'll surely get convicted and sent straight to jail." Bakura let out a soft moan. Marik shuddered.
*The current thought of Bakura sent to Yami Bakura by accident is too disturbing, even for us, to print-CVS.* But two minutes later.....
Yami Bakura backed away from the trashcan he had been hurling in for two minutes, and removed the gun from his head. He could no longer deny it to himself; he knew his hikari was gay. But he could never let Yami and Yami Marik know the truth. He shuddered and began to pace the floor of the soul room anxiously. It was a good thing Yami wasn't here; he would surely rub this in his face. And all because of it!" he thought. Just because I couldn't- "Oh, I was in the bathroom," stated Yami Marik as he re-entered the soul room. "What did I miss? Did the sexual tension become.....tenser?" He roared with laughter at his 'intelligent' remark. Yami Bakura scowled at him. "If you dare accuse my hikari of being gay again," he began, moving closer to Yami Marik, "I will rip out your vocal cords and dine on them for brunch." "Brunch," mocked Yami Marik, "Oooh, I'm so scared." "Yeah!.....Well.......you should...be," said Yami Bakura as he turned away. There is nothing worse than having a hikari like mine, he thought to himself remorsefully. I bet no one in the world has to go through the shit I do. Meanwhile at the casino...
Yay! We made it!" exclaimed Yugi as he jumped out of the window of the limousine. "Whooo hoo!" sang Michael. "Now let's go find your friends." They walked into the casino hand in hand. As they entered through the doors, the illustrious interior seemed to beckon Yugi closer. The flashing lights of the video poker and slot machines and the sound of poker chips as bets were placed, won, and lost began to fill Yugi's senses. Instantly, he began to feel the excitement and happiness that only money could buy. "Isn't it beautiful?" Yugi sighed in his head to Yami. "Huh? Yeah, sure, whatever," replied Yami. He wasn't too impressed by what he saw; during his reign as pharaoh, he owned ten times as many riches as this casino would see in a year. But there was one reason he liked Vegas better than the musty pyramids of Egypt: The good times with women. In Vegas, there was a fairly good chance that he could satisfy his unending desires, the desires he realized that it could no longer soothe. If only there was a way to escape this prepubescent prison, thought Yami to himself. Then I could truly be happy.... In another section of the casino...
The odd group made their way to a restroom that was past the blackjack tables, the craps tables, and the numerous roulette wheels. Grandpa was finally in Vegas, but he knew he could not enjoy himself with all those dead weights around. He looked at his group to see who could stay and who should go. Joey, he thought. He's alright. Tristan? Well I guess I could take him. Tea? Hell no! She's too too too perky! If she didn't wear such high shoes, I could just take my hands and wring her little friendship preaching-whoops! Lost the happy for a moment. You're on vacation, Grandpa, get it together. Bakura? No. Some days, I wonder about that boy. Marik? Naw, man! That fool a cut me as soon as I get my Benjamins, yo! Grandpa sighed, how would he get a moment's peace if any of them were around? What a mother... Close to the blackjack table, near the restroom...
"Where are we going, Michael?" Yugi asked the stranger who was pulling him by the hand. "Oh...nowhere," he replied. "Just to the bathroom to....take care of business." "But Michael!" Yugi protested. "I don't have to go to the bathroom." He turned his head and smiled at Yugi. "That's okay, neither do I." "Well then why are we going?"
"There are other things to do in the bathroom, little boy. I'll be sure to show you how." Yugi froze. He might have been...dense, but he knew in his heart that something was morally, and politically wrong.
"All right," Grandpa began. "We're going to split up into groups so you don't get lost. Let's see, uh... Joey, Tristan, and Tea will be one group-" "But Grandpa!" Tea protested, "They're icky boys! Can't I stay with you?" "You.. uh... don't want me to answer that," Grandpa answered politely. "Marik, you can go with...um...Bakura." Marik froze. He was already traumatized after Bakura tried to get closer to him in the limousine. And if he remembered correctly, when Bakura 'fell asleep' on Marik's shoulder in the limo, he felt something wet touch his cheek. Suddenly Marik snapped back to reality as he felt someone squeeze his hand. He looked up and saw Bakura smiling at him. "We're going to have lots of fun in Vegas, aren't we?" said Bakura, winking at Marik. Marik shuddered. In the soul room...
-"The real fun will begin when you become my lover." Yami Bakura screamed out loud. "What was that about?" taunted Yami Marik. "Is the 'buddy system' as you call it beginning to frighten you?" "Shut up," said Yami Bakura, his eyes shining with anger. "Ha ha ha, I'm so scared," Yami Marik teased again. "What are you going to do? Hold my hand?" Yami Marik roared in laughter. "How about I kick your ass!" screamed Yami Bakura. He charged at Yami Marik and knocked him on his back. Yami Bakura grinned sardonically, as Yami Marik rose to his feet. Yami Marik laughed evilly. "Bring it on, bitch." In the casino...
"Michael," Yugi protested, "I don't think I want to be your friend anymore." Finally, thought Yami. He gained some trace of common sense. But now it might be too late...too late unless I- "Whoa, what the fu-!" exclaimed Grandpa. "Yugi! What are you doing here?" Yugi picked himself up off of the floor, which he fell on after tripping over his shoelaces. (Yes, boys and girls, it can happen. Please remember this during shoelace awareness month -CVS. Heh heh...shoes...I like to kill those -P101:) "Oh, hey, Grandpa!" exclaimed Yugi. "How are you? Did you get my surprise yet?" "How the fuck did you get to Vegas?" said Grandpa, rather astounded. "Oh, I was hitchhiking and I met Michael. He's my...um..special friend." Yugi moved closer to Grandpa. "Grandpa," he whispered. "Help me. He tried to touch my no-no place." Grandpa stiffened. He knew who this stranger was. "Look, you little super freak," Grandpa spat angrily at Michael. "You may think its a thriller to mess around with all the Bens, Billies, Genes, and any other child that's not your son, but if you come near my grandson one more again, I'll cut you like a smooth criminal. Now beat it!"
Michael stared at Grandpa in horror. "I..I didn't mean to g-give him butterflies-" "I thought I told you to leave!" "We-we were just gonna, you know, uh ABC's 123's cause that's how easy-" "You wanna be startin' something?" threatened Grandpa as he moved closer. "No...uh-" "Then why haven't you left?" said Grandpa, clenching his fists.
"Well, you never can say goodbye..." "Get out of my face!" Michael bolted down the corridor in the casino, hopping over blackjack tables while singing one message to Yugi as his voice trailed off in the distance: "You are not alone; I am here with you; though you're- " "Who's bad now, mother fucker!" yelled Grandpa after the popular pedophile.
"Yay!" screamed Yugi. "Grandpa, you're the best!" "Uh...yeah...sure whatever." Back in the soul room...
Yami Bakura and Yami Marik were still fighting. After Yami Bakura charged at Yami Marik, Yami Marik punched him in the ribs. Yami Bakura lunged at him again, this time grabbing Yami Marik's hair. "Natural blonde my ass!" he exclaimed, after yanking it out from the roots and kicking him away. "Oh, you're going to die, faggot!" screamed Yami Marik, reaching for his Millennium Rod. "What's the matter?" Yami Bakura scowled. "You have to resort to magic, like a pussy?" He grinned sardonically. "No weapons; Just you and me, blondie." Yami Marik smirked. "I'll try not to mess you up too bad; I know you have a taping of 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy' to get to. "What's that supposed to mean, Mascara boy?" Yami Bakura growled. "Mascara? At least I don't sit two inches away from the TV every time that Jai guy comes on the screen. AND I DON'T WEAR MASCARA!" "You're right," said Yami Bakura. "Maybe it's Manballine!" "Eat shit, faggot!" yelled Yami Marik, charging at Yami Bakura, knocking him to the ground. "Or would you rather have your hikari suck my dick?" "Leave him out of this! And you can bite my balls!" "No thanks, but I'm sure you're hikari wouldn't mind." "HE'S NOT GAY!" screamed Yami Bakura, charging at Yami Marik and landing a right hook on his cheek. (The one on his face, right? Because the other ones are mine!-Neko) As Yami Marik coughed up a mixture of saliva and blood, Yami Bakura landed a drop kick across his back. Yami Marik crashed to the floor, his face landing in the mixture of bodily fluids from the previous injury. He kicked Yami Marik in his ribs, causing Yami Marik to roll on to his back. With murder in his eyes, Yami Bakura leapt onto Yami Marik, who was quickly losing consciousness. Yami Bakura was about to crush his skull- about to see the mess of blood, bone, and brain- about to end Yami Marik's life with one crushing blow....when the door of the soul room creaked open. "Eww, Yami Bakura," said a familiar voice. "I knew about your hikari's true feelings, but I would have never guessed you were like that too." Back at the casino...
"Yay! Yay! Grandpa saved the day! Yay! Yay! Grandpa saved the-" "Yugi!" Grandpa began. "If you don't shut up, I'll call him back here." Yugi froze. Wow, Marik thought in awe. If only I could send fear into people like that Grandpa guy does. I'm so jealous. "Grandpa?" asked Yugi innocently. "What?" "Can I be in your group?" "NO! Uh, I mean wouldn't you rather be with your friends Bakura and Marik?" Damn you, Grandpa! thought Marik. And to think, you would have been one of the lucky ones to survive after I- Marik froze as he heard an earth-shattering 'YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!' from Yugi. "Yay! Marik and Bakura, we're going to have lots of fun!" screamed Yugi, eagerly grabbing Marik's hand. "Why do I have to be stuck with such a dimwit and-" Marik paused mid- sentence as a pair of arms reached around his waist from behind. "Don't worry," Bakura whispered seductively into Marik's ear. "As soon as we ditch the dimwit, we can really have fun."
TO BE CONTINUED CVS: Well I hope everyone, ESPECIALLY THE ONLY PERSON WHO GAVE US A GOD- BLESSED REVIEW, enjoyed this chapter! Angel: Well that's all well and good CVS, but when are we getting to Vegas? CVS: Ahem Our financial account is not in compliance with the essential conditions to travel to Vegas. Since we are not opulent individuals as it were, we are compelled to obtain sponsorship in the subsequent segments of the Yu-Gi-Oh! Happy Super Fun time Vegas Adventure Extravaganza. Everyone else:........Do what now? CVS: We're broke. And since we aren't rich, we have to put commercials in the next chapter to pay for everything. But I still don't know how we can get to Vegas :( (Tre drives by in a Cadillac) Neko: (holding a chainsaw) Uh...don't worry. (looks at P101 and grins) We got it covered. P101: (holding a shotgun and a crock pot) Okay, Neko. You grab him, and then will kill his ass. Then we'll cook him. CVS and Angel: Huh? Neko: Don't worry about it. And if in a couple of weeks some people dressed in blue driving cars with flashing lights ask, you never saw us. Angel: I'm scared.... P101: Well, you should be. Come on, Neko! He's at a red light! CVS: Well look forward to chapter 3, because the wonderful pure hearted angel of love told you- Tre: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! CVS: What was that? Neko: Don't worry about it. P101, he's still squirming! CVS: Right, well 'kay bye!! OBEY THE ANGELIC OVERLORD!! cough wheeze Angel: You should really get that looked at.
Chapter 2: Raunchy Love Roulette
"Flight 292 for Vegas now landing."
"Oh thank Ra! exclaimed Marik. He detested flying coach, especially with such nitwits. The seats were all cramped and his headphones stopped working, causing him to miss the end of "The Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood," a film that truly touched him. If the technical difficulties weren't enough, he had the misfortune of sitting between Tea, an airsick female, (or was she?) and Bakura (need I say more?). The only thing that helped him to keep his sanity was his laptop, the very device that got him into this mess in the first place. "That is the last time my Yami gets me to search for porn," Marik growled under his breath as he headed for baggage claim.
"Uh, miss?" asked the security guard when Marik arrived. "Uh excuse me, sir?" he asked again as Marik glared at him with a piercing stare. "What do you want, insolent worm," replied Marik, pissed because again his gender had been mistaken. "It's just that...you have to go through the metal detector," pleaded the security guard. "And why should I listen to you," growled Marik. "W-well it's just to see whether or not you have a gun or a weapon," said the guard uneasily. Marik leaned in closer. "If I had a gun with me," he began angrily, "you wouldn't still be here. Now let me pass before I-" Marik stopped abruptly as he felt a hand around his wrist. "Come now," said an innocent British voice, "wouldn't want to be separated from the group, dear, would we?" "What the fuck are you up to, Bakura?" growled Marik under his breath. "Uh...um...who are you, miss?" asked the guard uneasily. "Oh, my name's not important, but I'm his girlfriend, and he's my fiancée," replied Bakura nonchalantly. "And we've already passed through security, thank you." You are so lucky I left my gun and pocket knives in the card shop, thought Marik. "Oh, well I'm very sorry, sir," said the security guard as he moved closer to Marik. "By the way," he whispered, pointing at Bakura, "does she have a sister?" "Don't make me kill you," scowled Marik. "Come, honey, we have to be going now!" Bakura rang out cheerily. "Yes...........dear.............." said Marik, clenching his teeth as they walked away. Meanwhile, in a soul room...
"AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yami was right!" roared Yami Marik in uncontrollable laughter. "He's not gay," stated Yami Bakura, "he's was just helping his friend in need...yeah." Yami Bakura said this not only to defend his hikari, but also to reassure himself of what he thought was the truth. Maybe it is taking a toll on his mental well being, he thought to himself. It would explain the strange thoughts that his hikari had transmitted to him by accident. I want you bad. Yami Bakura shuddered. Another one of Bakura's random thoughts had seeped its way into his conscience. "I know it is wrong," Yami Bakura thought, "but it feels so right." "What feels so right?" interrupted Yami Marik. "What!" screamed Yami Bakura. "How can you read my thoughts?" "I can't. You said that out loud." "Uh..........no I didn't." "Yes, you did," claimed Yami Marik. "Uh....no I didn't...and you should forget what I thought...and did not say...or think for that matter. "Right," began Yami Marik. "So what did you do that felt-" "Look! A bunny!!" yelled Yami Bakura in a desperate attempt to distract him. "Where! WHERE!!" screamed Yami Marik. "Bunny must die! BUNNY MUST DIE!!" he yelled as he searched for his flame-thrower. Yami Bakura sighed with relief. In a limousine on an interstate highway... "Twenty bottles of non-alcoholic beverages on the wall, 20 bottles of non- beer! You take one down, pass it around-" "Yugi, will you quit that infernal singing!!" screamed the tortured Yami. He had been riding in a car with Yugi and Yugi's new friend Michael for hours, and he was on the brink of suicide to put himself out of his misery. "I can't help it!" Yugi said to Yami in his head. "I'm just so excited! Once we get to Vegas, Grandpa will give me his surprise! I can't wait!" God, he's stupid, thought Yami to himself. Maybe that's because it is affecting his mental well being. But I can't give that up because- "What are you thinking, Yami?" said Yugi in his head. "Uh...nothing!" Yami replied, rather startled. "Now go back to your song or something." "Nah. That's getting kinda old. Michael decided we should play a new game!" "Oh, what's that?" asked Yami, relieved that the punishment was over. "Twister!!" "Oh, God, no! Yugi!!!" screamed Yami, but it was too late; the spinner had been spun and Michael uttered the words 'right hand red.' Meanwhile...
Grandpa sat alone at the Taco Bell at the airport. He was quite content: He had no annoying kids bothering him....especially his grandson. He just sat there, calm and peaceful with his evening paper. However, he felt slightly uneasy; there was a stranger at the counter eating a gordita. He had sharp yellow eyes and short blue hair. He wore all black, except for a large trench coat with spikes. Every now and then, he would stare at Grandpa with hungry eyes, which seemed pretty strange seeing as he was calmly devouring his thirty-seventh gordita. Grandpa became even more frightened when he glanced at the paper, and saw the stranger's description under the list of most wanted grandpa grabbers. "Hey, Gramps!!!" screamed a familiar voice. "Whoa! What the fu-" started Grandpa. "Oh," he sighed. "It's just you, Joey." "What about us!" demanded Tea. "Yeah!" added Tristan. "Oh...um..yeah, hi," said Grandpa. "I know I'm gonna regret this, but where are your friends, Marik and Bakura?" "Oh you mean us?" asked an innocent British voice. Bakura and Marik entered the McDonald's- P101: You said Taco Bell. CVS: Uh...no I didn't. P101: Yes you did! CVS: Um...uh......Look! A bunny! P101: Where! Bunny must die! CVS: Right, anyway....
Bakura and Marik entered the Taco Bell in the most unusual fashion: Bakura skipped in gleefully, holding Marik's hand while Marik dragged his feet, looking both disturbed and pissed. "What happened to you, Marik?" asked Joey in a sly tone. "Yeah," added Tristan. "I'd rather not say-" began Marik as Joey and Tristan began to snicker. "I'd rather not say, because then I'd have to kill you," said Marik menacingly. Joey and Tristan shut up.
Grandpa smiled. Everything was nice and peaceful without Yugi. Now if only I could get rid of Tea, He thought to himself. "Come on kids," he began, "we're going to miss our ride to the casino!" Everyone cheered. Everyone except Marik, who realized that however they drove to the casino, he would have to sit next to Bakura. Bakura grabbed his hand and smiled at him. Marik shuddered. They all filed out of the restaurant. The blue haired stranger followed.
-"I wish I could touch more than his hand."
Yami Bakura shuddered. His hikari had accidentally transmitted another one of those random thoughts to his mind. Yami Bakura was even too panicked too come up with a witty retort as Yami Marik kept taunting him about his hikari's sexuality. "My Ra!" Yami Marik exclaimed. "How could you possibly think you're hikari isn't gay?" "I know he isn't," stated Yami Bakura. "He's..uh.. just using the buddy system! You know, so they don't...uh...get lost! That's a pretty big airport." Once again, Bakura was trying to reassure himself. It was a good thing, he thought, that Yami Marik can't hear those thoughts. The random thoughts of passion that plagued Bakura's mind. Yami Bakura shuddered. In a limousine on a state highway....
"Hee hee!" Yugi giggled. "Michael, we're all twisted up in knots!" Oh God, kill me now! pleaded Yami to himself. "Yugi, I don't think you should be playing twister with.....him." "Why not?" Yugi innocently said to Yami. "Well....uh...because boys...and stuff....and..um...yeah," stated Yami uneasily. He then proceeded with a long explanation that involved birds, bees, salmon, streams, mayonnaise, sandwiches, and the fusion dance. (However, I shall not repeat it because I myself am still traumatized.) "You understand, Yugi?" inquired Yami after his talk was finished. "Huh?" said Yugi. "I don't get it." "JUST STOP PLAYING TWISTER!!!!!!" screamed Yami. "Oh! You don't have to worry about that anymore. You see," Yugi began, "playing twister made us really sore, so we quit." "Thank God!" sighed Yami with relief. He shuddered. Usually, when things seemed right, they always had a way of going wrong. "What are you going to do now?" he asked slightly nervous. "Simple! Since we're both sore," began Yugi, "Michael suggested we take a dip in his hot tub!" "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Yami. But then, he had a revelation. "Yugi, you can't go into the hot tub," he began slightly relieved, "because you don't have any swimming trunks!" "Oh, that's okay. Michael keeps a stock of speedos in his limo, and he has many in my size!" Yami stood in shock. "Yugi, I'm going to take a long walk off a short pier in cement shoes and a blindfold; if I'm lucky, I'll see you in Hell." "Silly goose!" Yugi exclaimed as he slipped into the hot tub. "We're almost at the casino!" Caesar's Palace Casino-Las Vegas
Grandpa's limousine pulled up to the casino, which stood in the middle of the illuminated Vegas strip. The casino was massive-unbelievably gigantic. It was truly worthy of the name palace. "Whoa!" exclaimed Joey as he gazed at the sights. "Yeah....." said Tristan in awe. "Look at all the lights, Marik!" exclaimed Bakura. "Aren't they beautiful?" "Yeah," Marik began. "It reminds me of an orphanage I set on fire-" Marik stopped abruptly. As much as he would have loved to continue his story, a certain innocent British boy began to snuggle up to him, resting his head on Marik's shoulder. Marik shuddered. Try as he might, he couldn't escape Bakura's grasp on his arm, and when he tried to pull away, Bakura would pull harder and lean closer to him. "You're lucky it looks like you're sleeping," Marik whispered in disgust. "Because if I kill you now, I'll surely get convicted and sent straight to jail." Bakura let out a soft moan. Marik shuddered.
*The current thought of Bakura sent to Yami Bakura by accident is too disturbing, even for us, to print-CVS.* But two minutes later.....
Yami Bakura backed away from the trashcan he had been hurling in for two minutes, and removed the gun from his head. He could no longer deny it to himself; he knew his hikari was gay. But he could never let Yami and Yami Marik know the truth. He shuddered and began to pace the floor of the soul room anxiously. It was a good thing Yami wasn't here; he would surely rub this in his face. And all because of it!" he thought. Just because I couldn't- "Oh, I was in the bathroom," stated Yami Marik as he re-entered the soul room. "What did I miss? Did the sexual tension become.....tenser?" He roared with laughter at his 'intelligent' remark. Yami Bakura scowled at him. "If you dare accuse my hikari of being gay again," he began, moving closer to Yami Marik, "I will rip out your vocal cords and dine on them for brunch." "Brunch," mocked Yami Marik, "Oooh, I'm so scared." "Yeah!.....Well.......you should...be," said Yami Bakura as he turned away. There is nothing worse than having a hikari like mine, he thought to himself remorsefully. I bet no one in the world has to go through the shit I do. Meanwhile at the casino...
Yay! We made it!" exclaimed Yugi as he jumped out of the window of the limousine. "Whooo hoo!" sang Michael. "Now let's go find your friends." They walked into the casino hand in hand. As they entered through the doors, the illustrious interior seemed to beckon Yugi closer. The flashing lights of the video poker and slot machines and the sound of poker chips as bets were placed, won, and lost began to fill Yugi's senses. Instantly, he began to feel the excitement and happiness that only money could buy. "Isn't it beautiful?" Yugi sighed in his head to Yami. "Huh? Yeah, sure, whatever," replied Yami. He wasn't too impressed by what he saw; during his reign as pharaoh, he owned ten times as many riches as this casino would see in a year. But there was one reason he liked Vegas better than the musty pyramids of Egypt: The good times with women. In Vegas, there was a fairly good chance that he could satisfy his unending desires, the desires he realized that it could no longer soothe. If only there was a way to escape this prepubescent prison, thought Yami to himself. Then I could truly be happy.... In another section of the casino...
The odd group made their way to a restroom that was past the blackjack tables, the craps tables, and the numerous roulette wheels. Grandpa was finally in Vegas, but he knew he could not enjoy himself with all those dead weights around. He looked at his group to see who could stay and who should go. Joey, he thought. He's alright. Tristan? Well I guess I could take him. Tea? Hell no! She's too too too perky! If she didn't wear such high shoes, I could just take my hands and wring her little friendship preaching-whoops! Lost the happy for a moment. You're on vacation, Grandpa, get it together. Bakura? No. Some days, I wonder about that boy. Marik? Naw, man! That fool a cut me as soon as I get my Benjamins, yo! Grandpa sighed, how would he get a moment's peace if any of them were around? What a mother... Close to the blackjack table, near the restroom...
"Where are we going, Michael?" Yugi asked the stranger who was pulling him by the hand. "Oh...nowhere," he replied. "Just to the bathroom to....take care of business." "But Michael!" Yugi protested. "I don't have to go to the bathroom." He turned his head and smiled at Yugi. "That's okay, neither do I." "Well then why are we going?"
"There are other things to do in the bathroom, little boy. I'll be sure to show you how." Yugi froze. He might have been...dense, but he knew in his heart that something was morally, and politically wrong.
"All right," Grandpa began. "We're going to split up into groups so you don't get lost. Let's see, uh... Joey, Tristan, and Tea will be one group-" "But Grandpa!" Tea protested, "They're icky boys! Can't I stay with you?" "You.. uh... don't want me to answer that," Grandpa answered politely. "Marik, you can go with...um...Bakura." Marik froze. He was already traumatized after Bakura tried to get closer to him in the limousine. And if he remembered correctly, when Bakura 'fell asleep' on Marik's shoulder in the limo, he felt something wet touch his cheek. Suddenly Marik snapped back to reality as he felt someone squeeze his hand. He looked up and saw Bakura smiling at him. "We're going to have lots of fun in Vegas, aren't we?" said Bakura, winking at Marik. Marik shuddered. In the soul room...
-"The real fun will begin when you become my lover." Yami Bakura screamed out loud. "What was that about?" taunted Yami Marik. "Is the 'buddy system' as you call it beginning to frighten you?" "Shut up," said Yami Bakura, his eyes shining with anger. "Ha ha ha, I'm so scared," Yami Marik teased again. "What are you going to do? Hold my hand?" Yami Marik roared in laughter. "How about I kick your ass!" screamed Yami Bakura. He charged at Yami Marik and knocked him on his back. Yami Bakura grinned sardonically, as Yami Marik rose to his feet. Yami Marik laughed evilly. "Bring it on, bitch." In the casino...
"Michael," Yugi protested, "I don't think I want to be your friend anymore." Finally, thought Yami. He gained some trace of common sense. But now it might be too late...too late unless I- "Whoa, what the fu-!" exclaimed Grandpa. "Yugi! What are you doing here?" Yugi picked himself up off of the floor, which he fell on after tripping over his shoelaces. (Yes, boys and girls, it can happen. Please remember this during shoelace awareness month -CVS. Heh heh...shoes...I like to kill those -P101:) "Oh, hey, Grandpa!" exclaimed Yugi. "How are you? Did you get my surprise yet?" "How the fuck did you get to Vegas?" said Grandpa, rather astounded. "Oh, I was hitchhiking and I met Michael. He's my...um..special friend." Yugi moved closer to Grandpa. "Grandpa," he whispered. "Help me. He tried to touch my no-no place." Grandpa stiffened. He knew who this stranger was. "Look, you little super freak," Grandpa spat angrily at Michael. "You may think its a thriller to mess around with all the Bens, Billies, Genes, and any other child that's not your son, but if you come near my grandson one more again, I'll cut you like a smooth criminal. Now beat it!"
Michael stared at Grandpa in horror. "I..I didn't mean to g-give him butterflies-" "I thought I told you to leave!" "We-we were just gonna, you know, uh ABC's 123's cause that's how easy-" "You wanna be startin' something?" threatened Grandpa as he moved closer. "No...uh-" "Then why haven't you left?" said Grandpa, clenching his fists.
"Well, you never can say goodbye..." "Get out of my face!" Michael bolted down the corridor in the casino, hopping over blackjack tables while singing one message to Yugi as his voice trailed off in the distance: "You are not alone; I am here with you; though you're- " "Who's bad now, mother fucker!" yelled Grandpa after the popular pedophile.
"Yay!" screamed Yugi. "Grandpa, you're the best!" "Uh...yeah...sure whatever." Back in the soul room...
Yami Bakura and Yami Marik were still fighting. After Yami Bakura charged at Yami Marik, Yami Marik punched him in the ribs. Yami Bakura lunged at him again, this time grabbing Yami Marik's hair. "Natural blonde my ass!" he exclaimed, after yanking it out from the roots and kicking him away. "Oh, you're going to die, faggot!" screamed Yami Marik, reaching for his Millennium Rod. "What's the matter?" Yami Bakura scowled. "You have to resort to magic, like a pussy?" He grinned sardonically. "No weapons; Just you and me, blondie." Yami Marik smirked. "I'll try not to mess you up too bad; I know you have a taping of 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy' to get to. "What's that supposed to mean, Mascara boy?" Yami Bakura growled. "Mascara? At least I don't sit two inches away from the TV every time that Jai guy comes on the screen. AND I DON'T WEAR MASCARA!" "You're right," said Yami Bakura. "Maybe it's Manballine!" "Eat shit, faggot!" yelled Yami Marik, charging at Yami Bakura, knocking him to the ground. "Or would you rather have your hikari suck my dick?" "Leave him out of this! And you can bite my balls!" "No thanks, but I'm sure you're hikari wouldn't mind." "HE'S NOT GAY!" screamed Yami Bakura, charging at Yami Marik and landing a right hook on his cheek. (The one on his face, right? Because the other ones are mine!-Neko) As Yami Marik coughed up a mixture of saliva and blood, Yami Bakura landed a drop kick across his back. Yami Marik crashed to the floor, his face landing in the mixture of bodily fluids from the previous injury. He kicked Yami Marik in his ribs, causing Yami Marik to roll on to his back. With murder in his eyes, Yami Bakura leapt onto Yami Marik, who was quickly losing consciousness. Yami Bakura was about to crush his skull- about to see the mess of blood, bone, and brain- about to end Yami Marik's life with one crushing blow....when the door of the soul room creaked open. "Eww, Yami Bakura," said a familiar voice. "I knew about your hikari's true feelings, but I would have never guessed you were like that too." Back at the casino...
"Yay! Yay! Grandpa saved the day! Yay! Yay! Grandpa saved the-" "Yugi!" Grandpa began. "If you don't shut up, I'll call him back here." Yugi froze. Wow, Marik thought in awe. If only I could send fear into people like that Grandpa guy does. I'm so jealous. "Grandpa?" asked Yugi innocently. "What?" "Can I be in your group?" "NO! Uh, I mean wouldn't you rather be with your friends Bakura and Marik?" Damn you, Grandpa! thought Marik. And to think, you would have been one of the lucky ones to survive after I- Marik froze as he heard an earth-shattering 'YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!' from Yugi. "Yay! Marik and Bakura, we're going to have lots of fun!" screamed Yugi, eagerly grabbing Marik's hand. "Why do I have to be stuck with such a dimwit and-" Marik paused mid- sentence as a pair of arms reached around his waist from behind. "Don't worry," Bakura whispered seductively into Marik's ear. "As soon as we ditch the dimwit, we can really have fun."
TO BE CONTINUED CVS: Well I hope everyone, ESPECIALLY THE ONLY PERSON WHO GAVE US A GOD- BLESSED REVIEW, enjoyed this chapter! Angel: Well that's all well and good CVS, but when are we getting to Vegas? CVS: Ahem Our financial account is not in compliance with the essential conditions to travel to Vegas. Since we are not opulent individuals as it were, we are compelled to obtain sponsorship in the subsequent segments of the Yu-Gi-Oh! Happy Super Fun time Vegas Adventure Extravaganza. Everyone else:........Do what now? CVS: We're broke. And since we aren't rich, we have to put commercials in the next chapter to pay for everything. But I still don't know how we can get to Vegas :( (Tre drives by in a Cadillac) Neko: (holding a chainsaw) Uh...don't worry. (looks at P101 and grins) We got it covered. P101: (holding a shotgun and a crock pot) Okay, Neko. You grab him, and then will kill his ass. Then we'll cook him. CVS and Angel: Huh? Neko: Don't worry about it. And if in a couple of weeks some people dressed in blue driving cars with flashing lights ask, you never saw us. Angel: I'm scared.... P101: Well, you should be. Come on, Neko! He's at a red light! CVS: Well look forward to chapter 3, because the wonderful pure hearted angel of love told you- Tre: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! CVS: What was that? Neko: Don't worry about it. P101, he's still squirming! CVS: Right, well 'kay bye!! OBEY THE ANGELIC OVERLORD!! cough wheeze Angel: You should really get that looked at.
