Chapter 2

Kenny...Rich??

Stan, Cartman, Kyle, and Megan were all standing at the bus stop on Monday morning. It was a snowy day (as usual) and everything seemed ordinary until Kenny showed up. He was wearing different clothes and had, for once, neglected his orange parka. Everyone was shocked.

"Are you sick or something, Kenny? If you are, you better get the hell away from me...I don't wanna get no poor people disease."

"Fuck you, fat ass! And for your information, I'm not poor anymore, thanks to that lottery card you gave me."

"...What?"

"I won 10 million dollars."

Cartman looked stunned, "WHAT???"

All of the sudden, Kyle slapped Cartman.

"AY! What the hell was that for, goddamit!!!"

"I was just making sure that this wasn't one fucked up dream." Kyle said.

"Anyways, I came to ask you guys if you wanted a ride in my parents new sportscar."

"WHAT???" Cartman repeated himself.

Then, Megan slapped Cartman.

"GODDAMIT WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?!?!?"

"I was just double checking...you know, what Kyle said about the fucked up dream thing," Megan said.

Mr. and Mrs. McComick drove up just then in a shiny red sportscar, and Stan slapped Cartman.

"OWW!!!" Cartman cried,"GODDAMNIT!!!"

"Sorry," Stan said, "Triple checking."

"Hop in, kids" Mrs. McCormick said.

Cartman didn't say a word the whole ride to school. Even though he had been slapped three times, he still couldn't believe Kenny had won 10 million dollars. In the lottery. From the lottery card that HE had given him. Cartman was very pissed off.

"So, Eric, I betcha you feel pretty pissed off that the lottery card you gave Kenny turned out to be a winner, huh?" Mr. McCormick said from the front seat.

"Mmhm." Cartman mumbled. He was feeling kinda sick at the moment...he didn't wanna talk about this whole lottery thing. The kids got dropped off at school and Mr. and Mrs. McCormick drove away.

"Man, it kicks ass being rich," Kenny said.

"Shut the hell up, rich boy." Cartman snapped.

"What the hell's your problem, fat ass?" Kenny asked, "First you give me shit cuz I'm poor, and now that I'm rich you do the same thing."

"Yeah, and you wanna know why Kenny?? Because you just got 10 million dollars without doing shit while I have been dreaming of having that much money my whole life! That 10 million dollars was as good as mine, but I gave it to YOU without even realizing it! GODDAMNIT IT I AM SO PISSED OFF!!! I hate you, Kenny!!! And I am never ever ever going to speak to you again you RICH SON OF A BITCH!!! I HATE YOUUUUUU!!!!"

Cartman looks around to realize everyone had left while he was throwing his tantrum. He bellowed angrily and shook his fists. This was the worst thing that could ever happen to him, EVER.

"I'm going to figure out how to get a piece of that ten million dollars, even if I have to kill Kenny myself!!"

And all of the sudden, he realized that a kid who seemed to be Kenny was standing next to him.

"Kenny?" Cartman said.

"I'm not Kenny, but Kenny is so rich that he can pay people to get killed for him. So if you want to kill Kenny, you're going to have to kill me because thats my job."

Cartman was silent for a second then shouted, "HE CAN PAY PEOPLE TO GET KILLED FOR HIM??? GODDAMNIT!!!" And he went into school. As soon as he had left, ninjas jumped out of the bushes.

"It is the orange hooded warrior!" one ninja cried, "KILL HIM!!" They pelted Chinese stars at the Kenny stand-in and of course he was killed instantly. Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Megan were watching from the window.

"Hey they killed Kenny!" Stan said.

"You bastards!" Kyle said, as usual.

"Umm, guys, I'm standing right here," Kenny said.

"Then who the fuck was that?" Megan asked.

"Oh, I pay people to get killed for me now." Kenny said, smiling.

"You suck ass now that you're rich, Kenny." Megan said.

"Yeah," Stan agreed, "What kind of pussy pays people to get killed for them?"

"You guys are just jealous cuz you're all poorer than me now!" Kenny said.

"No, we just think your a pussy," Kyle said.

"No, your jealous. And I dont need friends like you anymore cuz now I'm rich and I dont have to go to this poor-ass school anymore cuz my parents are going to send me to a private school up in North Park! At least up there I won't have friends that are jealous of me!"

Kenny pulled a cell-phone out of his pocket and dialed a number, "Yes, I'm going to need you to fill in for me for the day."

A Kenny stand in showed up within five seconds. Kenny gave him a tip and left without even saying goodbye.

"Let's just act like none of that didn't happen," Stan said, "Kenny has been poor his whole life, and now that he's rich he's having trouble adjusting."

"Yeah, I agree." Kyle said.

"Um, are you all fucking blind?" Megan said, "He just completely snubbed you. You guys shouldn't put up with shit like that. Go kick his ass!"

"I wouldn't do that!" Kyle said warily.

"Why the hell not? Screw you, then, I'll do it myself!" Megan said angrily.

"Umm...hello?!? BODYGUARDS?" he said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh...right." Megan said, calming down.

"You guys better not be hitting on her or else I'll kick you in the nuts!" Cartman said, showing up. He was jealous that Megan was talking to other guys, of course, even though those guys were his friends. He looked at the Kenny stand in, "Is that Kenny?"

"No, dumb ass, it's just another stand in." Stan said.

"Don't call me a dumb ass!" Cartman said defending himself.

"Guys, knock it off. We gotta get to class anyways." Kyle said.

So they dragged themselves to their classroom for another shitty day of learning.

A/N: I'm not bashing Kenny...I know it seems like I am but I'm not. I like Kenny a lot! Also, I know I haven't been updating as much as usual. This is because I'm in my 2nd week of school now and I'm starting to get an assload of homework. Besides that though, I love ninth grade!