Chapter 3
Craziness
At lunch, Cartman barely touched his food, and whenever Cartman barely touched his food, there was something obviously bothering him or pissing him off in some way or another.
"Oh come on, Cartman. It's not that big of a deal," Megan said, putting her arm around him.
"Don't touch me." Cartman said, pulling away.
"Listen, just cuz you're pissed about Kenny winning the lottery doesn't mean you have to act like an asshole about it!" Megan said angrily.
"Doesn't Cartman act like an asshole about everything?" Kyle asked in an obvious tone.
"Well not to me! He just acts like that to you cuz you're Jewish!" Megan said.
"Listen, just cuz Cartman is acting like an asshole to you doesn't mean you have to act like a bitch to everyone else!" Kyle said angrily to Megan.
"Well just because I happen to be acting like a bitch to you doesn't mean you have to be a pussy about it!" Megan fired back.
"Well just because you..." Kyle began.
"Would you two SHUT THE HELL UP?!?" Stan yelled all of the sudden.
Kyle and Megan shot each other an evil look and all of them (except for Cartman) continued to eat their lunch in silence. It was like that for the rest of the day, including recess. The silence eventually ended at the bus stop as they were dropped off.
"Goddammit I'm hungry!" Cartman complained.
"That's cuz you didn't eat lunch, dumb ass." Megan said, "Come to my dad's house with me. He's got a new girlfriend and she gives me whatever I want cuz she thinks I won't like her if she doesn't. It's awesome!"
"So we can eat anything we want?" Cartman said, cheering up from his bad mood at the mere thought of food.
"Yeah!"
"Sweet! Let's go!" And they took off.
"I wonder what Kenny did today?" Stan pondered after they left.
Kenny looked out the window of his now huge house. He loved being rich, but he was kinda bored without his friends. He figured he should go look for him, even though Cartman might kill him with his own two hands if he ever saw him again. School had probably just gotten out though, and Cartman probably went to Megan's mom or dad's house to stuff his fatass face anyways, so he was in the clear.
"Mom!" he called, "I'm going to go play with with Kyle and Stan!" even though there was really no point in telling his mom OR his dad anything anyways because they never gave a shit about what he did. Money doesn't change stuff like that either.
Kenny found Stan and Kyle down by Stark's Pond playing the "Please Slap Me" game with Pip. That was always funny to watch.
"Well, um Stan, aren't you just going to slap me again like you did the last 27 times?" Pip asked unsurely.
"No, Pip! I won't! Now say it!" Stan said.
"...Please slap me." And of course, Stan slapped him.
"Oh look, its Kenny the rich kid who's too good for his friends." Kyle said, seeing Kenny.
"Um, hi guys." Kenny said, scratching the back of his head.
Everyone down at Stark's Pond just kind of stared at Kenny. Mostly everyone was confused, either that or they didn't care. Kyle and Stan were both mad that Kenny had the nerve to show up though.
"Listen guys, I'm sorry." Kenny said, although he wasn't really that much. He wasn't even sure what he did wrong to piss them off that much.
"Okay, fine. You can hang out with us. But you better not let Cartman catch you down here cuz he's really pissed off at you." Stan said.
"Oh screw him. He's always pissed at somebody or something." Kenny said, rolling his eyes.
"Kenny kinda has a point," Kyle said to Stan.
"Don't you think we should do our homework?" Megan asked Cartman. They were sitting at the kitchen table at her dad's house and snack wrappers and empty plates covered the whole table.
"No, I don't wanna do homework. Homework pisses me off. Let's go find Stan and Kyle." Cartman said, getting up from the chair.
"I thought you hate Stan and Kyle." Megan said.
"Well, no shit! Of course I do, but that doesn't mean their not my friends."
"...What??"
"Girls don't understand anything. Come on, let's go."
"Well what if Kenny's there?" Megan asked.
"If Kenny's there, I'm gonna fucking kill him. Now come on!"
Of course, Cartman and Megan arrived while Kenny, Stan, and Kyle were there. Cartman looked like he was ready to pounce but Megan gave him and idea.
"Cartman, wait! If you don't act pissed off at Kenny, you have more of a chance at his money right? So be nice." Megan said.
"Be...nice?" Cartman pondered the idea for a second, "Now why the hell didn't I think of that? Megan, I owe you. I'm seriously...now come on."
"Cartman don't get mad because you might get a heart attack and die because you're so fucking fat," Kyle said.
"I'm going to pretend I didn't just hear that. Hi Kenny!"
"Hi...?" Kenny wasn't sure whether he should stay where he was or run for cover.
"I'm not gonna hurt you Kenny, you can wipe that "I'm screwed" look off your face."
It was so hard for Cartman to just not beat the shit out of Kenny. He was standing right there and not expecting it...the opportunity was just too good. Cartman broke out in a sweat.
"Well I'm glad you're not pissed at me," Kenny said, relieved.
"Uhh...yeah." Cartman muttered.
"Oh wait till you guys see my new room, I have this really big TV and I get like every single channel you can think of...even the naughty ones. And I have my own robot that does everything for me...I don't even have to do chores or anything!!! Being rich is the best thing that ever happened to me!"
Cartman clenched his fists but didn't attack.
"Wow, that's awesome, Kenny." Kyle said.
"And I can buy basically anything I want. And I have a limo that will drive me anywhere...and I start school tomorrow at North Park Academy. I heard some of those rich girls in those school uniforms are REALLY fuckin hot. But the best part of being rich is...well everything really!"
"I...CANT...TAKE...IT...ANY...MORE!!!!!!!!! AUGGGHHHH!!!" Cartman yelled, springing on Kenny. Kenny pulled a taser out of his pocket and shocked Cartman with it. Kyle and Stan thought it was the coolest thing in the world but Megan looked aghast.
"Are you okay?!?" Megan cried as she kneeled down next to him.
"I'm...fine...uggghhhh..." Cartman said.
"Wow, I guess Cartman got his ass kicked," Stan said.
"I know, huh." Kyle added.
A/N: Grr...the chapters always seem to look longer when your typing them but once you read them they really aren't that long. I'm going to have a longer chapter eventually...and now, a note to my reviewers!!
Cartmansbaby - thanks for your review! and also for understanding about my lack of time for updating due to the evil teachers that run my brain with their useless crap! ARGH!
Leela's tears - I'm glad you like my idea about Kenny paying people to get killed for him. Good luck in school!!! School sucks ass I know...
GoodbyeBlueSky - I'm glad you like the story!!! -) Didn't your mother ever tell you patience is a virtue??? lol just kidding
Fry-4000 - Glad you like the story! It makes me feel like I might actually be somewhat ok at this thing called writing...
