Chapter 5
A Letter to Home
Kenny sat at his desk with a blank sheet of notebook paper and a pen in his hand.
Dear Everybody,
My new school sucks ass. The entire thing is run by nuns and all the kids that go there are fucking fags.
I said the word shit and now everyone thinks I'm a loser. Oh, except for this one girl Rachel but she's
kinda like the rest of them anyway. And no, I'm not totally hot for her to answer your question. She's
pretty but she's as boring as watching grass grow. But I guess we're friends. I hope Cartman is recovering
Okay from his shock from my taser. Sorry dude, but you pissed me off. Okay I gotta go...I got an assload
of homework. Bye!
-Kenny
He sealed and addressed the envelope before running outside to put it in the box. He looked around warily as he was outside, but the fates had been extra kind to him lately...no accidents or anything of that sort. Then he ran back inside to get started on his homework. It was frickin hard. He didn't understand one word of anything he was supposed to be doing. Too bad he didn't have Rachel's number...Rachel. He couldn't seem to get the girl off his mind, even though he really didn't have any feelings for her at all. She was really nice though, and easy to talk to. If the guys knew thats what he thought about her though, they would totally rip on him. But it's true. They were friends and friends only.
"Dad!" Kenny called, "I don't understand my homework!!!!"
"Look it up in the dictionary or something!" he called back.
Typical, Kenny thought to himself. He missed South Park very much, even though it had only been about a day. He had grown up there, and North Park was Dullsville compared to South Park. He wanted very much to die all of the sudden, but with the whole death thing he seemed to be having a miserable case of good luck. He eventually just threw his homework aside, since he could probably pay one of the kids in his class to do it for him. That seemed to be the process lately...if you can't do something or don't want to do something, pay someone to do it for you. He was getting bored of having people live his life for him though.
THE FIELD MANSION
Rachel worked busily on her geography homework. It was fairly easy, but that didn't mean that she actually wanted to do it. She gazed at the digital clock on her desk. 6:59 was what the bright red letters said. In approximately 3 seconds, her mom would knock on the door and ask her if she was done with her homework.
"3...2...1" Rachel said to herself.
There was a knock at the door, "Rachel honey!" her mom said softly, "Are you finished with your homework?"
"Almost, mother!" she replied automatically.
"Okay, sweetie!"
She finished up her homework and went to the bathroom. She studied herself in the stand up mirror against the wall and took her reading glasses off. An improvement, she thought. However, she was so sick of wearing those stupid braids her mother insisted she wore in her hair every day. She pulled them out and then studied herself again. Then she styled it in a couple different ways and after she was done playing with her hair, she sighed. She wished her parents wouldn't care so much. Just a little freedom was all she wanted. Well, yeah, they spoiled her, but it was just too much of a good thing.
She left the bathroom and gazed once again at the digital clock. 7:01...just in time to watch Terrance and Philip. She had started watching it lately in secret on the television in her room. Her parents didn't know, of course. She pulled out a pair of headphones and plugged them into the tv. After half an hour of farting and fun, Rachel felt better. She liked keeping this from her parents...they knew everything about her except that she watched that show every night. She giggled to herself.
SOUTH PARK, A DAY LATER
The letter had arrived at Stan's house where Kenny had addressed it, but Kenny knew Stan would show it to everybody anyway, which is exactly what he did.
"Hey guys," he said, with the envelope in his hand, "I got a letter from Kenny!"
"Lemme see that!" Cartman said, grabbing the letter from Stan. He mumbled what it said to himself as he read it and Kyle looked over his shoulder.
"Wait your turn, you Jewish piece of shit!" Cartman yelled.
"Don't make fun of my religion!" Kyle yelled back.
Cartman finished reading the letter and then Kyle read it.
"Hey, looks like Kenny found himself a girlfriend!" Kyle exclaimed.
"No, butt pipe, he said here that she wasn't!" Stan said.
"Ass farmer," Kyle muttered.
"Shut up! Hey...maybe we should go see Kenny today." Stan said, "Just us guys, Cartman. Don't bring Megan."
"Why the hell not?" Cartman asked, offended.
"Because you drag her around like a fucking security blanket."
"How would you know, gaywad?"
"Because it's kinda obvious!" Stan replied.
"Whatever. You're just jealous ONE, cuz I have a girlfriend and you don't and TWO, you're afraid Kenny will give me all his money if I go with you guys! Well..."
"Yeah we know...'screw you guys, I'm going home' " Kyle said.
"That's right! Later!" and he left.
"It's probably better if Cartman doesn't go anyways. Kenny probably doesn't wanna see him anyway." Stan said, "Come on. I can probably get my parents to drive us up. North Park is only about 10 minutes away."
KENNY'S HOUSE
"Oh wow," Sharon said as she stepped out of the car.
"It's hard to believe that the McCormicks live here...we better make sure this is the right address." Randy said.
"No, dad. This is Kenny's house! It says right here on the envelope!" Stan said, holding the letter up.
The butler let them in and Kenny greeted Stan and Kyle.
"Hey guys!" Kenny said cheerfully, "Where's fat ass?"
"He didn't huh?"
"Yeah thats fuckin awesome! Wanna see my room?"
Kenny showed Stan and Kyle his new bedroom. Their jaws dropped as soon as they walked in.
"Man, good thing Cartman didn't come. He'd be so pissed off right about now!" Kyle said.
"So does your new school really suck that hard?" Stan asked Kenny.
"Yeah, it does. I hate it!" Kenny said angrily.
"Dude, then why don't you just transfer back to South Park?"
Kenny contemplated the idea for a minute. Hell yeah, he wanted to go back. But part of him wanted to stay at this new school...just for a little while longer.
"No way, dude!" Kenny said, "I can't do that! All the kids at school will think I'm a total pussy if I transfer back after only ONE day!"
"Oh come on Kenny," Kyle said, "All the kids sound like fags anyway. And they sound like they hate you. They won't give a shit."
"Just a couple more days..." Kenny said, his voice trailing off.
