Written tired and high on sugar (Pepsi will kill me, people!) while battling rabid Lubies off my Samka prey and talking to a friend online. Originally published in AEB, but might as well find its home here, too! :) I think it would also be fair to point out that out of possible fandoms, I'm anti-Luby and anti-Lusan. Carby I don't mind, Samka I love.

I was also pissed off at some Abby worship, and this is me lashing out at those who bug me. :) I don't like the character of Abby. Never have, never will. Don't bother commenting I'm a stupid b-tch just because you don't agree. My opinion is just as valued as yours, Abby fan. This is not a personal attack. :)

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Hiding a rant amidst a verse

There once was a girl called Abigail Lockhart.
They tried to sex her up, she was nothing but an old fart.
So they hooked her up with some sexy ol' guys,
To whom she could tell only half-assed lies.
Til they both got sick of her and traveled quite far
To get away from her tendency to drink down a bar.
So now she ducklips alone, her misery not ending
So TPTB decided to do a little mending...

They sent her to med school to fail all her boards
And lose ER fans by masses and hoardes
Til they brought Sam in, the ratings were dropping
But with her appearance, viewers were hopping
Who is this gal? This feisty little thing?
And with which doctor will she first have a fling?

Perhaps Romano? He sure needs to get laid!
Or perhaps Pratt, the slightly over-paid?
Perhaps she's for Kerry for some lesbian fun...
If she's for Morris, girl, you'd better run!
But I have a guess, an educated hunch...
With whom she will end up from this doctoral bunch.
He's from Croatia, and he's rather moody..
But not for long, after some Nurse Hottie booty!

But Lubies, they say, he's with her for her son...
Alex, oh, he's a scary little one!
Dissecting pets in a diabetic haze
Giving Luka's eyes that horny little glaze!
We all know in Sam, Luka sees his daughter,
Jasna was her name, lost in war and slaughter.
And I'm quite sure he's just replacing Abby,
Because let's face it: she's not only crappy,
But incompetent too, not to mention quite lame
But our Luka, well, he wants his girls tame!

Except not, but that's ok for some!
Close your eyes, scream, when the plotline ain't fun.
Because we all know ER exists for a reason
And anything other than Luby is treason!

But, oh, how will they handle the sweet EL kiss?
Or the first night together in absolute bliss?
Will they ignore Sam's jealous little streak?
Or will they point out that Sam is too weak?
No, they go for the low punch right there...
They say Sam's too mighty to care!
They tell her: "Get off your high horse right now!
Abby's much better than this stupid little cow!"

It makes me wonder how easy it must be
To live in a world of fan fic fantasy!
Who cares if Abby's issues are bigger than Sam's hair?
"Can't you see the chemistry? It's right THERE!"
And let's forget for a moment; just a pause in my rant;
That Luka would have chemistry with a damn potted plant!
If all Abby can do is whine, bitch and pout
And Sam, pardon the expression, is so totally out,
Who will Luka end up with? Who will share his life?
That would be Susan, his soul mate and wife!
Except there's no love, or affection to share
But Lusans are way too ignorant to care.

And maybe I'll stop writing, right now is a good time.
Honestly, I can't think of things that will rhyme!

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