Disclaimer: Erm...I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho...
SIDE NOTE: Um...I do NOT know why I did this. If this scares you, please don't hesitate to say so. This was an idea to amuse my dark mind. Um...read on.
"Hiei?" I look up at the handsome, ruby-eyed fire demon. He looks at me with a soft, warm gaze. The gaze I'd always dreamed he'd give me.
I hate it.
"What is it?" he asks quietly.
I stare at him a moment. His voice is so submissive. The sound I hear in my mind is mechanical, the voice of a robot programmed for a specific job.
But Hiei is a different kind of robot, isn't he? My eyes roam over the paper before me, pausing on certain sentences.
"I love you."
"I'll never leave you, no matter what."
"No one else can take your place."
Again I hear the robotic voice, and I realize truly what I am hearing. The total emptiness is shielded with love and emotions brought forth from an imaginary heart.
I pause again at the last sentence I've written.
"Do you love me?" I ask of the demon before me. Again, as empty as before, he replies:
"Unquestionably. Why do you ask?"
I stare at the depthless image before me. He's still giving me that look. It makes me feel guilty. It makes me feel like I'm betraying an innocent child. A child who has no choice but to trust me.
"Why do you love me?" comes my darkened reply.
"Don't you want me to love you?" Hiei asks.
I set down my pencil a moment as I read this sentence over.
"I do," I tell him quietly, not daring to meet the eyes of that soulless shell.
"Then that's why."
I look that over. Yes...I want Hiei to love me, as do many others like me. We all daydream for hours, seeing Hiei's blood-red eyes gazing at us with love and happiness. We feel his arms wrap around us, holding us close as he whispers with that sweet, sweet voice that he loves us. That he'll always protect us.
And we believe the illusion.
But Hiei does not love any of us. Not really. If he says he does, it's because we want him to. If he holds us, kisses us, protects us, it's because we want him to. We control his life with a mere pencil and paper. As soon as we want it, it becomes. He is under our control, forced to say what we wish, feel what we wish, think what we wish.
That, even if we do not intend it so, is what we mean when we say "Hiei is mine!"
I gaze at the words once more before erasing several sentences on the page. I brush away the eraser crumbs delicately. The graphite tip of my pencil hovers over the paper for a few hesitant seconds.
Then I write.
"Why do you love me?"
I see a new look in Hiei's eyes, one I've never imagined before, a look that's somehow real. He gazes at me with fierce, burning hatred. I am now able to look him in the eyes, for this look, though heartbreaking, does not make me feel guilty.
I stare into those eyes that passionately loath me. And I hear his cold voice, overflowing with true derision, replying to my question:
"Because you want me to."
SIDE NOTE: I apologize if this depressed you. Like I said, I had to amuse some dark thoughts I had been hiding away for a while. Gomenasai minna, do not hate me. Plz review.
