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As Conner walked out of Andy's house, he noticed that it had started to
rain hard. He scowled and glanced at his watch. It was after eleven. He
probably should forget about going to see Liz tonight, her parents were
probably asleep, and who knows what Liz had told them, if anything.
But he had to see her tonight; he had to tell her…that he loved her.
Conner could hardly believe it himself. He had spent so much of his life
building a wall around himself, not letting anyone close. Then the person
he had least expected had managed to break down those carefully
constructed walls, and, he admitted, he hadn't done much to stop her.
He ran quickly to his car, but he still got drenched. He hoped that Liz
had a soft spot for drowned rats. He jammed the keys into the ignition,
and paused. What the hell was he even going to say to her.
I know you dumped me this afternoon, and I know our unborn baby died,
but, hey, I love you and want to date you? Conner gave a short laugh.
He could just imagine what she'd say to that irresistible offer.
Just as Conner was going to start the engine, the passenger door flew
open, and Tia, looking just as wet as Conner, flung herself in the
passenger seat.
"I'm not your chauffer service," Conner snapped, fed up with the
interruptions.
"I know," Tia snapped back. She wrung her hair out, getting water all
over the interior.
"Are you just trying to flood my car or do you have something to say?"
he said sarcastically.
Tia rolled her eyes. "I'm trying to piss you off…obviously it's
working," she said raising an eyebrow.
Conner gave a short laugh.
Tia smiled. "See? That's what I want. To make you laugh. What's
happened to us Conner? We used to tell each other everything, or at least, I
used to tell you everything. I miss you," she said quickly.
Conner stared at her. "I believe it started when you called my
girlfriend, what was it, 'the ultimate bh slut of SVH'" Conner said
shortly.
Tia blushed. "Listen, I'm sorry, okay."
"I'm not the one you should be apologizing too," Conner pointed out.
"I know," Tia said, looking out the window. "I fell really bad. From
what I've seen, she's a really nice girl, and I feel awful. I'm
just…jealous, I guess."
"You want me too?" Conner said smirking.
"No!" Tia exclaimed, frustrated. "I just…you always went from girl to
girl, never really opening yourself to any of them. I was always the one
you told stuff too. Now with Liz it was like you weren't talking to me
anymore."
"You don't give me all the gory details of you and Angel," Conner said.
"I know," Tia said rolling her eyes. "But I just felt like you've shut
me out completely."
Conner sighed. "There's some stuff between Liz and I that is private,"
he agreed. "But the last thing I want to do is shut you out, Tee.
You're still the coolest girl I know."
Tia smiled. "Thanks, I promise not to go all psycho about you and Liz,"
Tia threw him an evil look. "Since I got you to open up, answer me
this. Do you love Liz? I've never seen you this hung up on a girl
before. She's got you acting like a love sick puppy."
"I'm not a love sick puppy," Conner growled. "And mind your own damn
business," he said gruffly.
"I think you do," Tia said teasingly.
"Get out," he snapped, teasingly. Tia got out. "I'll drop it…for
now."
She said smiling at him.
Conner grumbled under his breath and backed out of the driveway. But he
smiled slightly, it was good to have Tia back. He flipped on the radio,
and the lyrics caught his attention:
And it's been awhile
Since I've seen the way the candle lights your face
And it's been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste
His smiled broadened as he pulled into the Wakefield's driveway. He
turned his car off, and stepped out. It was still pouring and he shivered
slightly. He glanced at the house and noticed it was dark. He quickly
ruled out knocking the door. He crept around to the back of the house to
where Liz's window was. He knew he was slightly insane as he stared up
at the dark window. But he was determined. He couldn't sleep another
night without knowing that Elizabeth was his again. He picked up a pebble
and threw it.
Elizabeth flipped off her lamp next to her bed. She had tried reading
for a while after her talk with her mom. She smiled slightly. Even
though her relationship with her parents was far from normal, she felt like
she had made progress tonight. She hadn't meant to tell her mom about
her and Conner sleeping together. She could just imagine the horrible
images her mom had conjured up. She knew her mom was disappointed in her;
Elizabeth was disappointed with herself. She had never meant to jump
into bed with Conner so quickly. She still didn't understand this
powerful attraction she felt with Conner. Well, it's one sided. Conner
doesn't love you. Her smile quickly disappeared, and she snuggled into her
covers. She still remembered the pain from that day when she had told
Conner she loved him and he had said nothing in return. She buried her
head in her pillow, to stop the tears from coming. She didn't want to cry
again.
TAP
Elizabeth shot up in bed. She had heard a small bang against her
window. She stood up slowly and walked over to window. It was probably just a
bird hitting it, but she looked out curiously.
The sight that greeted her couldn't have surprised her more. Conner was
standing in their lawn, completely soaked. She opened her window. "Are
you completely mad?" she hissed loudly. She slammed it shut. She jammed
her slippers on and flew downstairs, through the kitchen, out onto the
deck. She reached Conner, soaked to the bone.
"Are you crazy?" she shouted.
"Yeah," Conner said, smiling lopsidedly. "But, then, you already knew
that."
"What are you doing?" she said, wrapping her arms around her shivering
body.
"Isn't it obvious," he said taking her hands away from her chest. "I
love you."
"What?" Elizabeth said, not believing what she had just heard.
"I love you," Conner said. "I am so in love with you that it scares me,"
he
said hoarsely.
Elizabeth stared at him, shocked. Then a slow smile spread across her
face. She leaned towards him and caught his lips in a searing kiss. It was so
intense, she felt like her whole body would burst into flames.
Elizabeth pulled away, gasping for breath. "It's raining," she said
stupidly.
"I'd forgotten," Conner said, still holding her hands. He never
wanted to let go of her.
"Come on," Liz pulled him to the house.
They went up to her room quietly.
"What about your parents?" Conner asked her.
"They have one of those air conditioners in their window, and they
always have it on full blast. They won't be able to hear much of anything,"
she said, rummaging around in the hall closet. She pulled out a couple
of towels. They went into her room. Liz pulled out a pair of sweats
from her closet. "You left them here in the wash," she explained and
handed them to him along with a towel. He went into the bathroom; he could
hear Elizabeth blow drying her hair in her room. He quickly shed his
wet clothes and put them in the shower. He slipped into the loose
sweats.
He walked back into Elizabeth's room. She was putting her dryer away.
"I'm sorry, but I don't have any shirts that would fit you except this
one," she said gesturing to the oversize SVU shirt she was wearing.
He flopped down onto her bed. Elizabeth walked into the bathroom, and
emerged a few minutes later wrapped in a towel. Conner's breath caught
in his throat. She pulled open her dresser and picked out some clothes,
with her back to Conner she pulled a pair of periwinkle pajama pants on
under the towel, then she quickly shed the towel. Conner took in the
delicate curve of her back, until she pulled a periwinkle tanktop on.
Then she sat down next to Conner. "You didn't have to," she said
quietly.
"Didn't have to do what?" Conner asked, confused.
"Say that you loved me."
"Of course I didn't have to," Conner said angrily. "You think I was
just trying to make you feel better?" Conner grabbed her shoulders
roughly. "I have never told a girl that I loved her before. I told you
it
because…you're an idiot."
"Excuse me?" Elizabeth snapped.
"What the hell was that this afternoon?" Conner spit out.
"I knew you didn't want me," Elizabeth hissed back. "I didn't want you
to
feel obligated to me…you know, because of the baby."
"You don't have the slightest clue what I want, and I never felt
obligated to you, I don't feel obligated to anyone. Did it ever occur to you
that
I might like you?"
Elizabeth was silent. "Then why did you break up with me?"
"Why do you think? Your relationship to your sister is more important
then your relationship to me, I wanted you to fix things with Jess and
there's no way you could have done that while still with me."
"I know that. But why did you have to drop me cold?" she said tears
forming. "I thought…I thought you didn't love me."
Conner could see that she was fighting tears. He wrapped an arm around
her, and pulled her to his bare chest. "You really thought that?" he
said throatily. "Is that why you left?"
Elizabeth nodded. "I thought you hated me, that you wanted nothing to
do with me."
"I loved you then, I was just to stupid to realize it."
"And I was just to stupid to see it," Elizabeth said smiling.
"I love you," Conner said into her hair.
Elizabeth looked up at him. "I love you too."
Conner gently placed her back across the pillows. "I should go, it's
pretty late." He got up and headed for the door.
"Don't," Elizabeth said softly. "Please…can you just, stay?"
Conner turned back around. He raised his eyebrows, and he felt a
tightening in his stomach.
He quietly walked towards her, and climbed into the bed next to her.
"Can you just sleep with me? Not together together, you know? We can't
be together like that again…not for a while, just lay with me."
Conner smiled down at her. "I know, and it's okay. I was lucky just to have
you once."
"I know you're probably used to it."
"What? Lots of sex?" Elizabeth blushed. "I'm going to tell you a
secret, you were my first," he whispered into her ears.
Elizabeth leaned over and kissed him. "I love you, Conner McDermott."
She flicked the light off, and snuggled next to Conner. Conner wrapped
his arms around her and closed his eyes. Him and Liz were back
together. He quickly realized that now that he had said those three words
everything was different. He would be her boyfriend. He would have to walk
her to class, call her, take her on dates…and for the first time in
Conner's life that didn't seem like such a bad thing.
