Right, thanks once more to all reviewers; replies are at the end of the chapter.
Chapter 3: See what happens when Locke makes decisions?
A terrible plague descended upon the people of Zion after the end of the war, namely boredom. Before, the people lived in constant fear of being torn limb from limb by surprisingly small, squid shaped mechanical beasts. Now that they had nothing to worry about, they began to see Zion for the dull and lifeless place that it truly was.
The task of correcting this problem was appointed to Commander Locke, now granted, he may be a competent military strategist creature, but when it comes to catering for the recreational needs of roughly 250,000 people, he's um, not; as the following story will show.
(Actually, now that I think about it, the machines broke through his defences so maybe he's not that good at either. Oh well, I guess I shouldn't judge, I couldn't do any better.)
Um yes, well anyway, Locke responded to this problem by converting the dock into a huge maze. The biggest of which the earth had ever seen. Its size however led to its eventual doom. For you see, (long dramatic pause), I'm not going to tell you, well I am, just not here.
The maze, like the yearly tandem bike race, had an unspeakably huge and largely pointless opening ceremony. The only mildly interesting things about it were the fact that Morpheus came dressed in a top hat. Also, Councillor Hamann got food poisoning and started farting continuously. The result was mass hysteria which led to people running in all directions.
Zee was the first to enter the maze, armed with only a makeshift compass and a handful of paper clips; she set off in a south easterly direction.
Morpheus was the next to enter. He had fashioned together a crude periscope from three table legs and a toothbrush. It didn't so much work as it did look foolish and occasionally show him a crude reflection of the ceiling, which he soon discovered was no help.
Ghost and Sparks decided to pool the resources of their brains in order to reach the end of the maze first. At least that was the idealistic daydream. They spent thirty minutes bickering at the entrance about who got to go in first. The argument was eventually settled by Locke himself who pushed Sparks into the maze with a grunt of irritation. Ghost spent a few moments staring at him before entering the maze himself. Locke entered a few minutes later so as not to risk bumping into the two.
Everyone else realised that they had better things to do with their time and went far, far away.
Morpheus traversed the seemingly endless collection of corridors for hours before he finally admitted to himself that he was lost. He smashed the periscope against one of the maze's walls in frustration only to be knocked out by a flying table leg.
Zee had slightly better luck, in other words she remained conscious. She decided to go north, as her compass needle insisted in pointing in that direction, thereby leading Zee to believe that it knew the secrets of the maze. This only resulted in her walking into a wall. The compass needle still pointed north however.
Zee responded to this by climbing over every wall she saw, this soon led her to a point which was 43 meters from the maze's entrance. This did not matter however as Zee mistakenly believed that she had reached the end of the maze. With a sense of triumph firmly embedded in the back of her neck, she went home.
Ghost and Sparks had begun tearing strands of hair out and leaving them on the floor so as to remind themselves where they'd been. This was a foolish plan as you can probably imagine seeing as the hair strands were too thin to stand out against the floor. Also the lighting was somewhat poor in the dock seeing as the Warner brother's prop department had reclaimed most of their props. Thereby making the hairs equally hard to see.
In the end they did indeed stumble across the exit. They then spent a further thirty minutes bickering about who got to leave first. The situation this time was resolved by Ghost's right fist.
Locke had, at first, strolled into the maze with confidence. He had after all designed the thing and believed he knew where the exit was. He did not consider however what would happen if he trusted builders who were obsessed with symmetry to follow his asymmetrical design. When he realised what had happened, he swore vengeance.
And vengeance he did have. The construction workers were made to stand in the centre of the temple and made to fart into kazoos before everyone who could be bothered to turn up for the event. The sights, sounds and smells invaded many a persons dream for weeks.
The next day, the maze was torn down and no one spoke of it again. Locke was also given a clip round the ear by the woman whose son was on the Gnosis.
The End of the chapter is hither. The next chapter shall arrive before too long with any luck.
Right, now for replies.
Tai Wilson: A headache eh? That reminds me, I have to read the rest of Crossfire. I'll do that later. Thanks for reviewing. How goes your writer's block?
Chinchilla-in-a-bowl: What about that machine/rat in the Animatrix? There is many a beast in the world of the Matrix, well one, sort of. Oh well who cares? Thanks for reviewing. Today I confused a rabbit for a chinchilla. In my defence however, it was wearing a pope costume which obscured its ears.
Agent Josie: O.K, remind me not to mention anything even remotely related to French, France or anything beginning with F for at least a month. (That last sentence doesn't count.) Oh well, if you find an APU I'll be very surprised. They are safely contained in the impenetrable fortress of Cannabis users. Which may or may not be in Utah. You have to have a last name beginning with H to even avoid getting shot at the gates. Anyway, thanks for reviewing.
Kitsune-Chan 8: I would make them longer but it may rob the chapters of their humorousness, well that and I run out of ideas. *Sigh*, thanks for reviewing.
Alocin: Fear not, Neo's coffin would be made out of metal seeing as all the wood is gone in the real world. The kid's decomposing pieces would not get through. Thanks for reviewing.
Nithke: Needy or not, the kid must die. How I hate him. Sorry, I'm drifting from the subject. Hope you liked this chapter and thanks for reviewing.
thereisnobrain: You didn't cry did you? I would say that I thought not but I can't/couldn't hear you. Update soon yourself with more randomness.
Right, I think that's everyone.
Chapter 3: See what happens when Locke makes decisions?
A terrible plague descended upon the people of Zion after the end of the war, namely boredom. Before, the people lived in constant fear of being torn limb from limb by surprisingly small, squid shaped mechanical beasts. Now that they had nothing to worry about, they began to see Zion for the dull and lifeless place that it truly was.
The task of correcting this problem was appointed to Commander Locke, now granted, he may be a competent military strategist creature, but when it comes to catering for the recreational needs of roughly 250,000 people, he's um, not; as the following story will show.
(Actually, now that I think about it, the machines broke through his defences so maybe he's not that good at either. Oh well, I guess I shouldn't judge, I couldn't do any better.)
Um yes, well anyway, Locke responded to this problem by converting the dock into a huge maze. The biggest of which the earth had ever seen. Its size however led to its eventual doom. For you see, (long dramatic pause), I'm not going to tell you, well I am, just not here.
The maze, like the yearly tandem bike race, had an unspeakably huge and largely pointless opening ceremony. The only mildly interesting things about it were the fact that Morpheus came dressed in a top hat. Also, Councillor Hamann got food poisoning and started farting continuously. The result was mass hysteria which led to people running in all directions.
Zee was the first to enter the maze, armed with only a makeshift compass and a handful of paper clips; she set off in a south easterly direction.
Morpheus was the next to enter. He had fashioned together a crude periscope from three table legs and a toothbrush. It didn't so much work as it did look foolish and occasionally show him a crude reflection of the ceiling, which he soon discovered was no help.
Ghost and Sparks decided to pool the resources of their brains in order to reach the end of the maze first. At least that was the idealistic daydream. They spent thirty minutes bickering at the entrance about who got to go in first. The argument was eventually settled by Locke himself who pushed Sparks into the maze with a grunt of irritation. Ghost spent a few moments staring at him before entering the maze himself. Locke entered a few minutes later so as not to risk bumping into the two.
Everyone else realised that they had better things to do with their time and went far, far away.
Morpheus traversed the seemingly endless collection of corridors for hours before he finally admitted to himself that he was lost. He smashed the periscope against one of the maze's walls in frustration only to be knocked out by a flying table leg.
Zee had slightly better luck, in other words she remained conscious. She decided to go north, as her compass needle insisted in pointing in that direction, thereby leading Zee to believe that it knew the secrets of the maze. This only resulted in her walking into a wall. The compass needle still pointed north however.
Zee responded to this by climbing over every wall she saw, this soon led her to a point which was 43 meters from the maze's entrance. This did not matter however as Zee mistakenly believed that she had reached the end of the maze. With a sense of triumph firmly embedded in the back of her neck, she went home.
Ghost and Sparks had begun tearing strands of hair out and leaving them on the floor so as to remind themselves where they'd been. This was a foolish plan as you can probably imagine seeing as the hair strands were too thin to stand out against the floor. Also the lighting was somewhat poor in the dock seeing as the Warner brother's prop department had reclaimed most of their props. Thereby making the hairs equally hard to see.
In the end they did indeed stumble across the exit. They then spent a further thirty minutes bickering about who got to leave first. The situation this time was resolved by Ghost's right fist.
Locke had, at first, strolled into the maze with confidence. He had after all designed the thing and believed he knew where the exit was. He did not consider however what would happen if he trusted builders who were obsessed with symmetry to follow his asymmetrical design. When he realised what had happened, he swore vengeance.
And vengeance he did have. The construction workers were made to stand in the centre of the temple and made to fart into kazoos before everyone who could be bothered to turn up for the event. The sights, sounds and smells invaded many a persons dream for weeks.
The next day, the maze was torn down and no one spoke of it again. Locke was also given a clip round the ear by the woman whose son was on the Gnosis.
The End of the chapter is hither. The next chapter shall arrive before too long with any luck.
Right, now for replies.
Tai Wilson: A headache eh? That reminds me, I have to read the rest of Crossfire. I'll do that later. Thanks for reviewing. How goes your writer's block?
Chinchilla-in-a-bowl: What about that machine/rat in the Animatrix? There is many a beast in the world of the Matrix, well one, sort of. Oh well who cares? Thanks for reviewing. Today I confused a rabbit for a chinchilla. In my defence however, it was wearing a pope costume which obscured its ears.
Agent Josie: O.K, remind me not to mention anything even remotely related to French, France or anything beginning with F for at least a month. (That last sentence doesn't count.) Oh well, if you find an APU I'll be very surprised. They are safely contained in the impenetrable fortress of Cannabis users. Which may or may not be in Utah. You have to have a last name beginning with H to even avoid getting shot at the gates. Anyway, thanks for reviewing.
Kitsune-Chan 8: I would make them longer but it may rob the chapters of their humorousness, well that and I run out of ideas. *Sigh*, thanks for reviewing.
Alocin: Fear not, Neo's coffin would be made out of metal seeing as all the wood is gone in the real world. The kid's decomposing pieces would not get through. Thanks for reviewing.
Nithke: Needy or not, the kid must die. How I hate him. Sorry, I'm drifting from the subject. Hope you liked this chapter and thanks for reviewing.
thereisnobrain: You didn't cry did you? I would say that I thought not but I can't/couldn't hear you. Update soon yourself with more randomness.
Right, I think that's everyone.
