Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, or any of its characters. Haldir: Wow, Eowyn's quite the nag, isn't she? And Faramir! I would never have believed him the type to enjoy wearing women's clothing. Legolas: Come on, Haldir...surely you noticed the black fish net stockings he wore under his leggings during the War. Why did you think his father preferred Boromir and gave him such a hard time? Haldir: No! Really? Did Eowyn know? Legolas: Everyone knew. Haldir: Why am I always left out of the loop? I'm always the last to know anything! Me: If you two Elven busybodies are done gossiping, I'd like to continue with the story...

Chapter 9

King Takes Knight

Eowyn led The Four Walkers back to into Meduseld, right up to the guards who were blocking the entrance. She stopped and stared at the guards who stood in the doorway of the Great Hall.

The guards took one look at the expression on the Shieldmaiden's face, and backed away, allowing her party to pass unmolested into the Golden Hall.

Marching up the aisle, they could see supplicants kow-towing to Eomer, who sat regally upon his throne, dressed in his kingly finery. Seeing his sister storming up the aisle toward him, he rolled his eyes and motioned for the guards to escort his current audience away.

Sighing, he addressed his sister, not yet noticing just who her company was. "What now, Eowyn? This had better be good - those people who just left had waited two days to get in to see me."

Finally noticing the Walkers behind her, he grinned. "Well, look who's come to visit! What brings the Lorien March Warden and members of the Fellowship to Rohan?"

"You can talk to them in a minute, Eomer," Eowyn said, standing before her brother, her hands on her hips, tapping her foot impatiently. "I need to talk to you about Faramir."

"What has he done now? You know, I warned you about marrying him...insanity runs in his family - look at how Denethor ended up!"

"Let's not get into that again, Eomer...he's a good man, and I love him...it's just that we're having a little bit of a hard time, right now. He's obsessed with that doughy thing!" Eowyn retorted, pouting.

"Exactly what would you like me to do about it?" Eomer asked his sister.

"Send a few guards to scare the bejesus out of him - that's what I want you to do. Get him to forget about that stupid putty of his and pay some attention to me!"

"Fine. Anything to get you to stop whining," Eomer said, motioning to one of his guards to go with Eowyn. "Tell Faramir that I will designate him the...er...Royal Putty Steward," he instructed his guard. "Providing he spends his nights at home with his wife, where he belongs, he can spend his days in the Library with his putty."

Eowyn smiled happily and set off with the guard for home, waving goodbye to the Walkers as she passed them.

Turning his attention to the Walkers at last, he bid them welcome again.

The Walkers bowed their respect to the King of Rohan, and Haldir approached the throne.

"Eomer, it has indeed been too long! But this not a social visit...we come at the bequest of Galadrial and Celeborn. We have been sent on a quest because of this!" Haldir held out the Whatzit. He pulled the ring, and the Whatzit said, "The donkey says BRAY."

"What manner of witchcraft is this?" Eomer said, scrunching up on his throne, eyeing the Whatzit suspiciously.

"This is the Great Ring Ceeunsae, and our quest is to find the One who can interpret its animal tongue! I found the Great Ring nearly buried in the forest floor in Lothlorien."

"Can I try it?" Eomer asked Haldir, reaching out for the Whatizit.

"No."

"I just want to pull it a little, Haldir."

"You cannot pull my Ring, Eomer. Pull your own Ring."

"There is no fun in pulling my own Ring," he said looking at the thick golden band on his finger. "I want to pull yours - it's much bigger than mine."

"Keep your hands off my Ring, Eomer. I am sorry that you do not have a big Ring, but I am the only one that is allowed to pull my Ring."

"You're being very selfish about your Ring, Haldir."

"I cannot help it. I am very protective of my Ring, Eomer. I have not let Legolas, Gimli, or Sam pull my Ring either."

"I don't want to pull your Ring, Haldir!" Gimli said, before collapsing into guffaws. "I doubt Legolas or Sam are interested in pulling it either!"

Legolas was having a hard time keeping a straight face. "Aye, Haldir...you can just pull your Ring yourself."

"I wanted to pull it. Haldir would not allow me to touch it," Sam said seriously.

"Oh, for Eru's sake...you all need to grow up!" Haldir shouted, finally catching on to what the other two were laughing about.

"Eomer, have you any knowledge of anyone in Rohan who might speak the language of the animals? We seek such a One to translate the message of the Ring," Haldir asked, trying to change the subject.

"I'll tell you if you let me pull your Ring, Haldir."

"You are impossible, Eomer. Alright - you can pull it once. But be very gentle...it's very sensitive," Haldir replied, ignoring the increased laughter of the Elf and Dwarf behind him.

Eomer pulled Haldir's Ring, with obvious delight. The Whatzit said, "The lion says "ROAR."

"Amazing, Haldir, simply amazing...but beware...you know that luck does not always follow the bearer of a Ring," Eomer said, still staring intently at Haldir's Ring. "I have heard of such a person as you seek. Rumor has it that there lives in Gondor a person who can speak to the animals. Search for the One you seek in Aragorn's domain."

"Thank you, Eomer...you have been a great help. We leave at first light for Gondor!"

"I shall always remember fondly pulling your Ring, Haldir. You are welcome back here anytime," Eomer said in farewell. He motioned for his guards to bring in the next person waiting for an audience.

The Walkers left the Golden Hall, Gimli and Legolas still chuckling, much to Haldir's annoyance.