Ryan and Kirsten were sitting at the kitchen table eating lunch. Seth was with Summer and Sandy was at work. Kirsten was looking at some plans for a new model home. Ryan was looking on while eating his sandwich. Kirsten was explaining to him what the plan was and where they were going to build the new homes.

"Would you like to come with me to see the construction of these homes?" Kirsten asked smiling happy that her foster son was interested in the same thing she was.

"That would be great!" Ryan said, his face lighting up with a smile.

"Ok next Friday we will go and take a look." She stated. Ryan smiled inwardly too. He was happy that Kirsten had grown to care a lot for him, possibly love him, he wasn't sure but he knew she cared a lot. She has been more of a mom to him then his own mother.

----Flashback-----

A 12-year-old Ryan was sitting in his room. He was curled up on his bed listening to his mom and her newest live in boyfriend, Damon, fight. Both were pretty plastered, which in his experience, wasn't good. Ryan was just tying to stay out of the way so he stayed in his room hoping that the two adults in the other room would forget he was there.

"I bet you one of your no good kids took my stash!" Ryan heard Damon yell. 'Shit' Ryan thought 'He thinks we have his drugs which means he will come in and search our room' Trey was out with some friends so he wasn't going to be help. Ryan got up and opened the window to climb out and leave but didn't quite make it. The door to his room was banged open and there Damon stood.

"Where do you think your going you little shit?" Damon yelled and Ryan tried t o jump out the one-story window but was grabbed by Damon and pushed him to the ground. Ryan saw his mother by the door telling Damon to leave Ryan alone but of course he didn't listen.

"Where is my stash?" Damon slurred.

"I don't have it.' Ryan said back calmly. He knew yelling back wouldn't help the situation. Damon started to tear up the room but coming up empty. Ryan stood back up looking for a way to get out.

"Where is it you fucking piece of trash!" He yelled again towering over Ryan.

"I swear that I don't have it." Ryan said trying not to show his fear. Damon then hit the 12-year-old in the stomach. Ryan bent over clutching his stomach and trying to catch his breath. He looked up at his mother pleading with her to help him but she had stopped telling Damon to stop and just had tears running down her face. She made no move to help her youngest son. Damon kept yelling at Ryan but he didn't listen to the words. Damon then began to beat Ryan up. Ryan made a few grunting noises but never cried. Crying only made them hit harder and he wouldn't allow them to have the satisfaction of making him cry. No, right now he wouldn't cry. After a few minutes Damon got tired. The alcohol was making him tired. Ryan watched from the floor as he stumbled out of the room. His vision was a little blurry but he saw his mom coming over to him and he wanted to move away from her but his body wasn't listening. She took him in her arms.

"I'm so sorry baby." She slurred crying. "It won't ever happen again." She said and Ryan wanted to laugh. She said this every time he was beat up by one of her men but at the same time he wanted to believe her. A few minutes later Ryan heard Damon call his mother from the other room and felt his mother leave him. She closed the door behind her. Only then was when Ryan cried. He cried for his mom, he cried for himself, and he cried for the life he was forced into.

The next morning he woke up and was surprised to find he was in bed. He tried to get up but was met by sharp pains in his mid section and his left arm. He also noticed that his face felt a little swollen. He groaned.

"Hey little brother." Ryan turned to face the voice and saw his brother Trey. "I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you last night." Trey said and Ryan noticed the guilty look on his brother's face. He helped Ryan get up and Ryan didn't say a word. He nodded at his brother and left to use the bathroom. As Ryan limped over to the bathroom he was kind of surprised he didn't mess himself. After he was finished and was happy there was no blood when he went, he knew from past experiences that THAT was not good at all, he ventured into the kitchen to get a drink figuring his mom and Damon were still passed out.

"What happened to you?" Ryan jumped at the voice. People REALLY have to stop doing that to him. He turned to his mother ad looked at her like 'You have got to be kidding'.

"You don't remember?" He asked in disbelief.

"No." She stated simply.

"Damon thought it would be fun to use me as a punching back last night." Ryan shot back. Dawn stood up and moved towards Ryan. Ryan backed up a little and wrapped his arms around his stomach.

"Oh Ry." She said sadly. Ryan actually thought for a second she would be on his side but that quickly changed. "What did you do to piss him off so much?" She asked.

"I...I didn't do anything mom!" He said back shocked that his mom took this guys side.

"Don't talk to me like that!" She said back angrily. Ryan looked down. Getting a drink had been forgotten. Trey came in to the room.

"What's wrong?" He asked. He was answered by a glare from his mother. Trey knew what happened. "Wait you believe that guy over your son!" He said angrily. Ryan looked up at Trey.

"I don't need this!" Dawn yelled and Ryan jumped slightly. "You two think you can gang up on me?" She said pouring some whiskey into a glass. Ryan tried to remember the last time she went a day with out drinking. "I don't want to talk to you boys today. Stay out of my sight!" She said sitting on the couch and turning on the TV. Ryan and Trey looked at each other then scouted the kitchen for something to eat. Coming as no surprise to them, there was nothing to eat.

"Let's go. I know where we can get some food." Trey whispered and they both left the house. Ryan still had his bloodied clothes on but didn't want to stay in the house any longer. They walked to Jason's place, a friend of Trey's, where Ryan got cleaned up and where they both ate. Jason said they could stay the night, which both boys were happy to accept.

The next afternoon the boys returned home to find their mom passed out on the couch.

"I bet she didn't even know we were missing." Trey said sadly. Ryan shook his head and headed to his room to change. The bruises on his body were still dark but were beginning to get that yellowish color around the edges of them to show they were beginning to heal. His face wasn't as swollen but the black eye and split lip were very visible still. Good thing it was summer, he didn't want to have to explain this to teachers.

The rest of that week Ryan spent dodging Damon and avoiding his mom. That Saturday Ryan came home to find his mom sitting at the dining room table looking at bills, sober. She looked at him and he tried to make a b-line to his room.

"Ryan honey, I'm sorry." She said and he just looked at her. He knew that part of her meant it but he knew it would happen again. It always happened again.

"Yea." He whispered still not moving.

-------------

Ryan blinked his eyes and tried to listen to what Kirsten was saying. Some times the flashbacks hit him at t hat weirdest times.

"Ryan honey, are you ok?" He heard Kirsten ask.

"Yea...yea I'm fine." Ryan smiled, embarrassed.

"You kind of zoned out." She said.

"Yea." He laughed. "Flashback." He said.

"Want to talk about it?" Kirsten asked hoping the boy would share. Ryan looked down thinking about it. He looked up again.

"Just thinking about my life now compared to before." He said. Kirsten waited for him to continue. But Ryan just looked back at the plans. "So you want to put the archway here?" Ryan said pointing to a spot on the plans, changing the subject. Kirsten didn't push him and they continued to talk about the new development.

An hour later they heard Sandy and Seth come home.

"Well we can finish this tomorrow." Kirsten said smiling and Ryan smiled too. He reached over and touched Kirsten's arm. She looked up confused.

"You're a great mom. I wish you were mine from the start." Ryan whispered before Seth came in and dragged him up to his room to talk about Summer. Kirsten smiled. That little comment meant a lot to her because it had to be really hard for him to say.

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More? Please review.

Sorry this took so long. I was on vacation in Canada.