Very well I shall cast forth another chapter. Replies are at the end of the chapter.
Chapter 9: The Trainman and the weasel.
The power of 'the One' extends beyond the mind and the hands. It goes all the way down to the upper legs as well.
So, when young Gymnosperm who was mentioned in chapter one in case you've forgotten, was crushed via Neo's arse. His soul passed through Neo's head and was then somehow cast into the Matrix at a ludicrously high speed, where he is forced to live as a ghost.
At first, he didn't care so much. He'd spend his days happily haunting people by flying through their bedroom windows with a daunting hiss in the dead of night. He gave this up when one too many a pestiferous person said 'awww'.
So, Gymnosperm decided to become a driving instructor. Unfortunately, he was too short to see out of the windscreen. So, as frightened people screamed for instructions from the driver's seat, Gymnosperm could do nothing but cover his ears and start gnawing on his seatbelt which was becoming something of an obsessive compulsive disorder at the time.
After three car wrecks, Gymnosperm and his employers mutually agreed that it wasn't the right profession for him.
Things seemed bleak for the young, deceased weasel. There wasn't much available for weasels in terms of employment. The seagulls had the postal service covered, ptarmigan had all but taken over the farming industry, and Otters were the only non human beast that could become librarians, mostly because they were willing to work for one herring per day.
A week after applying for the 'agent' job he'd read about on a café window, Gymnosperm took the subway from his home in Boston to, um, another part of Boston so as to pick up his dry cleaning. He was startled by sudden screaming and cries of:
'Stop him, he stole my VCR.'
Seconds later, Gymnosperm noticed a short looking guy with a moustache that resembled Salvador Dali's charging through the crowd with a wide grin and a VCR in his clutches. Gymnosperm rushed over to the guy, drew his 5mm long knife from his coat and buried it into the thief's leg.
The man screamed, the VCR fell to the floor and shattered into five easily reparable pieces, and the Trainman (who owned the VCR stared in horror at the sight.)
The injury the thief received was quite superficial. He was an attention seeker however and made an elaborate show of his injury, all the while threatening Gymnosperm with assorted legal terms that had no relevance to one another. The weasel sighed and stabbed him in the eye.
The onlookers cheered and Gymnosperm was given a pat on the back by a pedestrian which almost sent him to the floor.
The Trainman gathered the VCR remnants in his threadbare coat and adjusted them so that he wouldn't be attacked by jagged edges. He then fired three shots into the thief's head. The crowd screamed once more and there was mass hysteria in the subway.
Gymnosperm was turned down for the Agent position as a key requirement was an ability to use a tricycle, unfortunately, Gymnosperm had an irrational fear of tricycles since the age of two when his brother named 'Dead man's fingers', ran over his hind legs with one of the aforementioned three wheeled devices.
Fortunately, the Trainman, who felt indebted to Gymnosperm for allowing him to exact vengeance on the thief, offered him the job of stealing passengers wallets onboard trains during the rush-hour when people were less likely to notice.
Gymnosperms first thought was 'How the hell did he get my phone number?' He then realised that there couldn't be that many Gymnosperms in the phone book. He then accepted the job and with the extra money was able to move to a bigger house in the centre of a non-descript park.
He and the Trainman split the contents of the stolen wallets 75-25, with the money the Trainman got, he was able to afford a haircut and halfway decent dental surgery.
The chapter has ended.
Right, now for replies:
Agent Josie: Your protests have en-screwed the review page. Well they haven't really I guess, it's just awkward. Oh well, that does indeed sound like a funny memory thanks for reviewing.
Tai Wilson: I think this chapter shall be the deciding one. I shall continue or discontinue based on the feedback I get for it. I need to eat something. Oh well, enjoy life and thanks for reviewing.
thereisnobrain: Are you still running or did you manage to disguise yourself as an owl and escape? In either case, thanks for reviewing.
Ever in the shadows: Who exactly was it who told you about this? I am a nosey bastard and must know such things. Anyway, thanks for reviewing.
Chapter 9: The Trainman and the weasel.
The power of 'the One' extends beyond the mind and the hands. It goes all the way down to the upper legs as well.
So, when young Gymnosperm who was mentioned in chapter one in case you've forgotten, was crushed via Neo's arse. His soul passed through Neo's head and was then somehow cast into the Matrix at a ludicrously high speed, where he is forced to live as a ghost.
At first, he didn't care so much. He'd spend his days happily haunting people by flying through their bedroom windows with a daunting hiss in the dead of night. He gave this up when one too many a pestiferous person said 'awww'.
So, Gymnosperm decided to become a driving instructor. Unfortunately, he was too short to see out of the windscreen. So, as frightened people screamed for instructions from the driver's seat, Gymnosperm could do nothing but cover his ears and start gnawing on his seatbelt which was becoming something of an obsessive compulsive disorder at the time.
After three car wrecks, Gymnosperm and his employers mutually agreed that it wasn't the right profession for him.
Things seemed bleak for the young, deceased weasel. There wasn't much available for weasels in terms of employment. The seagulls had the postal service covered, ptarmigan had all but taken over the farming industry, and Otters were the only non human beast that could become librarians, mostly because they were willing to work for one herring per day.
A week after applying for the 'agent' job he'd read about on a café window, Gymnosperm took the subway from his home in Boston to, um, another part of Boston so as to pick up his dry cleaning. He was startled by sudden screaming and cries of:
'Stop him, he stole my VCR.'
Seconds later, Gymnosperm noticed a short looking guy with a moustache that resembled Salvador Dali's charging through the crowd with a wide grin and a VCR in his clutches. Gymnosperm rushed over to the guy, drew his 5mm long knife from his coat and buried it into the thief's leg.
The man screamed, the VCR fell to the floor and shattered into five easily reparable pieces, and the Trainman (who owned the VCR stared in horror at the sight.)
The injury the thief received was quite superficial. He was an attention seeker however and made an elaborate show of his injury, all the while threatening Gymnosperm with assorted legal terms that had no relevance to one another. The weasel sighed and stabbed him in the eye.
The onlookers cheered and Gymnosperm was given a pat on the back by a pedestrian which almost sent him to the floor.
The Trainman gathered the VCR remnants in his threadbare coat and adjusted them so that he wouldn't be attacked by jagged edges. He then fired three shots into the thief's head. The crowd screamed once more and there was mass hysteria in the subway.
Gymnosperm was turned down for the Agent position as a key requirement was an ability to use a tricycle, unfortunately, Gymnosperm had an irrational fear of tricycles since the age of two when his brother named 'Dead man's fingers', ran over his hind legs with one of the aforementioned three wheeled devices.
Fortunately, the Trainman, who felt indebted to Gymnosperm for allowing him to exact vengeance on the thief, offered him the job of stealing passengers wallets onboard trains during the rush-hour when people were less likely to notice.
Gymnosperms first thought was 'How the hell did he get my phone number?' He then realised that there couldn't be that many Gymnosperms in the phone book. He then accepted the job and with the extra money was able to move to a bigger house in the centre of a non-descript park.
He and the Trainman split the contents of the stolen wallets 75-25, with the money the Trainman got, he was able to afford a haircut and halfway decent dental surgery.
The chapter has ended.
Right, now for replies:
Agent Josie: Your protests have en-screwed the review page. Well they haven't really I guess, it's just awkward. Oh well, that does indeed sound like a funny memory thanks for reviewing.
Tai Wilson: I think this chapter shall be the deciding one. I shall continue or discontinue based on the feedback I get for it. I need to eat something. Oh well, enjoy life and thanks for reviewing.
thereisnobrain: Are you still running or did you manage to disguise yourself as an owl and escape? In either case, thanks for reviewing.
Ever in the shadows: Who exactly was it who told you about this? I am a nosey bastard and must know such things. Anyway, thanks for reviewing.
