Author's Note: Here's chapter 8! I am really pleased with ho this chapter turned out, so please please please let me know what you think. But just a warning, this chapter contains underage sex, so if you are not comfortable with that, this is not the chapter for you. I am pretty confident that this is still a PG 13 though, it's no worse than the show. This chapter takes place during Chosen right after Buffy's big speech ("Are you ready to be strong?"). And thanks to everyone who reviewed chapter 7! Only one more chapter after this! But the good news is that this is probably going to turn into more of a series than a trilogy. XD Enjoy!
Chapter 8: Ready
Dawn sat there in silence with the others for a few minutes with the others after Buffy's speech. This was it. Tomorrow it was really it. In some ways it seemed like it was a long time coming, but in other ways it was so sudden and had come out of nowhere.
Things had been so hectic since that night at the Bronze that Dawn and Connor hadn't had much time alone together, and she hadn't had time to really think about things. But now out of the blue Buffy had concocted this crazy plan that was going down tomorrow.
She stood slowly and headed for the stairs. Buffy intercepted her along the way.
"You should go see Connor. We need all hands on deck tomorrow." She hesitated. "You know that I don't like the idea of you being in the fight."
"It's my choice," Dawn said firmly. "If Connor's going to be in there, I am going to be right by his side."
Buffy smiled wryly. "I know." She tilted her head sideways and looked at her sister. "Are you okay?"
Dawn nodded quickly. "Yeah, just a lot of things on my mind." She cleared her throat. "I'll make sure Connor knows."
Buffy nodded. She gave Dawn a quick kiss on the cheek then headed off towards the kitchen.
Dawn climbed the stairs to her room. Once she was inside, she closed the door behind her and locked it. She stared at herself in the mirror, deep in thought.
"You're just the best thing that ever happened to me. And I love you."
"I know how you feel. This is all new to me too. But I am happy with where we are right now. Just being with you. And we never have to do anything that you're not ready for."
"Promise me that you'll cherish every moment you have with Connor. Because you are more lucky than you know."
"Make sure that before you take a huge step and sleep with him, that you are totally ready."
"How did you know you were ready?"
"You just know."
"If I've learned one thing from being a slayer, it's that you've got to live for now. Because hey, tomorrow you could be dead."
"That depends on if you're ready."
As thoughts and memories of the last 6 month flooded Dawn's mind, her choice became clearer. Before she knew it she was smiling.
After a moment she took a piece of paper and a pen from her desk. She sat down and started to write.
It was dusk when Dawn reached Connor's apartment. Clutching her purse she headed up the steps and rang the bell. Connor answered a moment later. His face brightened when he saw her. "Hey! I was wondering when you'd show up." He opened the door to let her in.
"It's happening tomorrow," she said.
Connor nodded. "I know. Buffy called. I think she was hoping that I would say that I would convince you to stay out of it, but I didn't." He paused. "Do you really think she can pull that off?"
Dawn smiled. "If anyone can, it's Buffy. And we're in this together. All the way."
They entered the apartment, which was becoming dark. "I brought you some candles. I stopped by the drug store on the way." She pulled the small candles out of her small backpack.
Connor smiled. "Long line?"
Dawn laughed. "Hardly. It's amazing, all that free stuff just lying around." She reached for the matches on the table and began lighting some of the candles. She noticed her hand was shaking slightly.
"Dawn? Is everything okay?" Connor asked.
Dawn took a deep breath and turned to face him. "Yes. But I have something I need to say. Right now."
"You can tell me anything," Connor said, sounding concerned. He took her hand.
"I've been thinking a lot lately. About us. Especially with this big fight coming tomorrow. And I've decided that I want to go into battle tomorrow without any regrets." She gained confidence as she spoke.
"Regrets...about us?" Connor asked.
Dawn nodded. "Connor...I love you."
He smiled. "I love you too."
"And I am not going to risk something happening to one of us tomorrow, without having..." she faltered and took a deep breath.
"Baby, we are going to get through this," Connor said confidently.
"Make love to me," Dawn whispered suddenly.
Connor blinked, shocked. "What?"
"Connor, I want you to make love to me. I'm ready now, and I want this." She took a step closer to him.
Connor exhaled slowly. "Dawn, this is kind of sudden, are you sure?"
She shook her head. "No, it's not sudden. I've felt like this for a while now, and I know you must feel it too. The new passion between us. We've been together 6 months now, and just kissing and holding hands isn't enough for us anymore. We both want more."
"I won't deny that," he replied slowly. "I just...I've never done this before."
"Neither have I. We can have our first time together. I have protection," Dawn said, picking up her bag. "Connor, I really want this. I'm ready."
There was a heavy silence for a moment. Then all of a sudden Connor was kissing her. "Don't hold back," Dawn gasped. "We can't hold back anymore."
Their kisses grew deeper, and he pinned her against the wall. They both felt an overwhelming desire for each other come over them. Finally he scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom.
He lied her down on the bed and slowly climbed on top of her. They kissed some more, and she began to unbutton his shirt. He shrugged it off and they both kicked their shoes away. His kisses trailed from her mouth down her neck to the edge of her shirt. "This feels so good," she moaned. He slowly pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it aside. He took in the sight of her in just a bra.
"You're so beautiful."
"Connor, I need you." She pulled him to her and they rolled over on the bed...
Back home, Buffy searched the house for her sister. It was almost dark, and she really hoped that Dawn wasn't out by herself. She opened the door to her sister's room. It was empty, except for a folded piece of paper on the bed. She walked over quickly and picked it up.
Dear Buffy,
I went to Connor's, and I'm not coming back tonight. I've decided to give myself to him, completely. I've thought a lot about this and this is what I want. I know you probably won't like my decision, but don't try to stop me. This is my life and I love Connor. I promise we will be careful. I just need to know what it feels like to be with him before we go in there tomorrow. I am hoping that you'll understand. We'll be back tomorrow morning.
Love your sister,
Dawn
Buffy sat there for a moment just staring at the note. Part of her really wasn't surprised. Part of her wasn't even angry. She knew that Connor loved her sister, and vice versa. If Dawn thought she was ready to be with him, that was her choice. However, she was only 16 years old, and she was growing up so fast. Too fast. She remembered her own first time, with Angel on her seventeenth birthday. It had been so magical and wonderful, the best night of her life. She sighed. She had been thinking a lot about that night, especially after seeing Angel last night. The one kiss that they had shared had been so wonderful. He had given her the amulet, which she had then given to Spike, and then she had asked him if he was going to see Connor. "No, I don't want to intrude. He has a new life now. But tell him that I care about him, and that he's always welcome in LA. Dawn too."
Buffy had smiled and told him how happy they were. She hadn't mentioned her concerns about the seriousness of their relationship mostly because the absolute last thing she wanted to talk about with Angel was sex. But the thing she remembered most about their conversation was how open things had been left. She and Angel both understood that if some day they could be together, they would be. But it had been nice to hear that confirmed out loud. She sighed again. She just hoped that Dawn understood the seriousness of what she was doing.
"Wow," Dawn whispered. She and Connor were lying there in the candlelight, naked and entwined under the covers.
"That was...incredible," he said softly.
"I was going to go with amazing, but incredible covers it too," she said, smiling with contentment.
"Are you okay? I mean, did I...hurt you?" Connor said, sounding a little worried.
Dawn smiled. "No. I am perfectly fine. Wonderful, actually." The pain actually hadn't been as bad as she had expected, and she really did feel wonderful.
"I love you, so much," he said, kissing her forehead.
"I love you too." Dawn grinned. "I just feel so alive right now! I've never felt this way before. I'm so glad I made this choice."
"So am I. And the feeling is pretty incredible." There was a brief silence. "So just how bad is Buffy going to kill me when she finds out?"
Dawn laughed. "I'm hoping not at all. I wrote her a note before I left. I told her that I wasn't coming home tonight, and that there was nothing she could do to stop me."
Connor raised an eyebrow. "Wow. How do you think she'll take that?"
Dawn looked at him sheepishly. "Honestly? I'm hoping that she'll be too caught up in tomorrow's apocalypse to give me a lecture."
Connor chuckled. "Your sister's a pretty amazing woman. Just like you."
Dawn smiled sweetly. "Thank you."
"You are very welcome." He kissed her softly. She adjusted herself in his arms and traced lazy circles on his chest.
"I am ready now. For the fight tomorrow. You know, I actually made this decision so I could feel like my life was complete going in there. In case something happened to me. But now, after, I feel more confident than ever that we are going to get through this," Dawn said quietly.
"That's the way we have to think. Because we have many more nights like this ahead of us."
"Oh, we'd better," Dawn said, straddling him.
"You know, we have a big fight tomorrow, we should get some rest," Connor said, mocking sincerity.
Dawn grinned wickedly. "The night is still young. And besides, the first time was great, but we are both beginners, and I think we need some practice."
"Practice, huh?" Connor said. He pulled her close and kissed her passionately, before rolling over so he was on top of her again.
