"YOU'RE WORTHLESS!" He was used to hearing it but that didn't mean it still didn't hurt. It always hurt more when it came from her though. She was his mother. She wasn't supposed to think or say that. "YOU CAN'T DO NOTHING RIGHT!" She yelled again. Drunk. He stood there with his head down looking at his hands.

"What? Did he fuck up again?" He turned to the voice and saw his mom's latest boyfriend coming through the door. He glared at the man. It was none of his business. He stopped caring what her boyfriends said to him. They didn't mean shit to him. But when she said it, it really hurt him.

"Yea, the school called. Something about a fight and shit." His mom slurred. He hated when his mom would tell the guy of the week what was going on.

"Huh, guess you are worthless." Her boyfriend said. Steve, yea he thinks the man's name is Steve. He looked at the man's shirt. Yep, his name is Steve. Got to love the gas station uniforms. Name right on those dingy uniforms.

"Shut up Steve! This is none of your business!" He yelled and Steve looked at him angrily. Now the man was twice his size and he instantly regretted opening his mouth because the big man grabbed his arm before he could react.

"You have a smart mouth on you Ryan. You need to learn to control it." He said then hit Ryan in the face. Ryan heard hit mom say 'leave him alone' but of course the man didn't. And dragged the 13-year-old by his arm into his room where he proceeded to beat the crap out of him. His mom to drunk to stop him or even care. "You are such a piece of shit Ryan. You won't amount to much." Steve spat after beating him up. 'Yea like you made it big' Ryan thought from the floor as he watched Steve leave the room.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Ryan walked in to the house after school. He saw his mother in front of the TV with a drink in hand. She was already plastered. He put his books down and went in to the kitchen to look for food, not surprised when he saw nothing but beer in the refrigerator and liquor in the cabinets. He sighed and went into his room. He went to his room and looked under the bed. He pulled out a box and opened it. He pulled out a 5-dollar bill and put it in his pocket then put the box back under his bed.

Ryan walked out of the front door and down to the corner store. He bought a sandwich and a soda and headed home. He walked though the door to find that Joe was there. His mother's new boy friend. He tried to make it to his room but failed.

"Hey what do you have there?" He said taking the bag from Ryan.

"That's mine! Give it back!" Ryan yelled. Joe just laughed.

"Thanks for the food kid." He said and sat on the couch. Ryan went over and grabbed the sandwich out of the man's hand before he took a bite.

"I said this is mine!" The now 14-year-old Ryan said angrily. He didn't pay with his own money to have some asshole take it from him. Ryan then ran out of the house and Joe was close behind. Ryan saw a cop car and so did Joe so he stopped chasing Ryan. Ryan looked back to see that Joe had stopped and was walking back. He sighed in relief and headed to the park to eat his food in peace.

He returned to the house a few hours later hoping they were asleep. As he walked up he noticed his bedroom light wasn't on meaning Trey wasn't there. 'I really hope they are sleeping' Ryan thought to himself and walked in. His wish wasn't granted. There on the couch was Joe who looked up when he heard the door open. Ryan turned to leave but Joe caught up with him on the porch.

"Not so fast little shit!" He said grabbing Ryan's arm and pulling him back into the house. "You worthless piece of trash. Taking my food!" He said pushing Ryan in to the house. Ryan noted that his mother was no where in site. Joe came at him fast and hard. He hit his head and his world went dark.

He woke up sometime later with extreme pain in his arm. He opened his eyes to find he had been thrown in his room and was on the floor. He slowly got up and took a survey of his body. His left arm was defiantly broken, his head hurt badly and he didn't have to look in the mirror to see he was bruised and cut. He got fully up and looked out the window to see it was still dark. He looked at the clock and it read 1 am. He cradled his left arm and limped out of his room to find Joe and his mom passed out on the couch. He quietly left and walked down to the free 24 hour clinic. No one there asked him too many questions and the ones they asked, he lied for.

At about 3 am he left the clinic with a fresh white cast and stitches in the back of his head. He told the people he got jumped and since it wasn't the best neighborhood, they believed him.

The next morning his mom asked what happened. He told her and all she said was "If you didn't steal his food, it wouldn't have happened." Ryan just looked at her like she had 2 heads. He still couldn't believe that she would side with some guy and not her own son.

Later that night, as usual, she was drunk and stoned and she began calling Ryan names again. He went into his room and shut the door. He couldn't listen to her any more.

IIIIIIIIIIIIII

"Ryan. Wake up sweetie." Ryan opened his eyes slowly. That wasn't his moms' voice. "You're going to be late." He looked over and remembered where he was. He saw Kirsten grabbing some clothes for him.

"Hey Kirsten." He said sleepily. She smiled at him and came over to the bed.

"The new model home is being debuted today. We have to hurry!" She said giving him the clothes. He had forgotten about that. He got up and went in to the bathroom to change, happy that he showered before bed last night.

He walked into the kitchen 15 minutes later to see everyone eating at the table. He sat down and took some cereal.

"So are you excited Ryan?" Sandy asked. "The model home is based after your design after all." Ryan smiled shyly.

"You have such talent Ryan. You will be a masterful architect." Kirsten said proudly.

"Thanks." He said softly still smiling a little bit. He wasn't used to this kind of treatment. But he liked it.

"Yea man, you got the mad skills." Seth said putting cereal into his mouth and Ryan couldn't help but laugh and neither could Sandy and Kirsten.

A few hours later they came home from the presentation.

"Wow dude! That house looked awesome." Seth said to Ryan.

"Yea Ryan. The touches you put on that house really make it unique." Kirsten said.

"Thanks but I couldn't have done it with out you." He said back. "I'm going to get changed." He said and everyone said they were going to do the same and he headed out to the pool house. He sat down and took off his tie and his shoes then headed over to grab a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Once he was dressed he sat down and began to think out loud.

"I can't believe the worthless kid from Chino just helped build a model home that could be used in real homes." He said in shock. "This isn't supposed to happen." He said smiling to himself just a little.

"You were never worthless." Ryan jumped up and spun around to see Kirsten.

"I thought I was alone." Ryan whispered then looked down embarrassed. Kirsten walked over to him slowly.

"Why do you think you are worthless?" She asked gently. Ryan just kept looking down.

"I thought I was alone." He repeated softly. Kirsten put her hand on his shoulder. He flinched slightly and she pretended not to notice. She led him over to the bed and they sat down. Ryan was nervous. He hadn't meant for anyone to hear what was said. He wasn't sure what to do.

"Ryan honey, I think today showed you aren't worthless. You never were." She said gently. She wanted to see if he would open up to her. Ryan sighed. He really wanted to tell her but he didn't want the information used against him later. He looked up to her eyes and didn't expect what he saw. He saw nothing but love and compassion and not pity.

"I....well..." He started softly not really sure how to start.

"It's ok Ryan, take your time." She said smiling softly at him. He took a breath.

"It's just....well my mom...she didn't think I would get anywhere." He said softly and Kirsten waited for him to continue. "When she was drunk and a few times when she was sober she had said I was....well...worthless and no good...before my dad went to....before he was taken away, he said it too..... never mind my mom's endless string of boyfriends. after a while, I started to believe them." Ryan said looking down at his hands. Kirsten is surprised he told her that much, hell she doesn't think he has said that much his whole time with them. Kirsten was saddened to hear that people that were supposed to love and protect this boy would say such things to him.

"Well I have news for them. That is not true. You are a wonderful and talented young man. Honestly after hearing that, I'm surprised you were able to turn out so well. To be a caring and loving person." Kirsten said and Ryan looked up at her. He saw she meant her words. He smiled slightly. She loved to see him smile and often wondered if he ever got to smile as a child. She put her arm around him and this time he didn't flinch. In fact this time he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a hug, which she accepted happily.

Ryan was a bit surprised that he was the one that started the hug but when she hugged him back he smiled a little more. He knew she cared about him and that meant more to him then anything. He wished that she was his mom from the start.

"I wish I was too." He heard Kirsten say. Ryan was confused. Had he said that last part out loud? He slowly pulled out of the hug and looked at her. She noticed a little confusion in his eyes.

"What?" He asked.

"You said that you wished I was your mom from the start. I agreed with you." She said realizing that he hadn't meant to say it out loud.

"You mean that?" He said softly trying to read her eyes for any lies but seeing none. She nodded "You would want me as your son?" He said not believing anyone would truly want him.

"Well to be honest, I already think of you as my son. I love you as a son." She said and she noticed his eyes light up a bit. Ryan thought of how his mom said she loved him, but it was only when she needed something. Ryan then thought that's what Kirsten wanted. He looked back down at his hands.

"What's wrong?" She asked him confused.

"It's just...." He trailed off not wanting to hurt her feelings. Kirsten realized what he was thinking.

"Oh, I think I know." She said softly. "You think I want something from you?" She asked. "Did your mom say she loved you only when she needed something?" She asked venturing out to see if he would answer her. He nodded. She was again surprised that he answered. "I don't want anything from you. I just want you to be you. You've given me so much already Ryan, I couldn't ask for anything more." She said and Ryan looked back at her clearly confused.

"What? I mean you have given me so much, I mean what did I give you? I owe you so much." He said wondering what she meant.

"Ryan." She said taking his hands. He looked down at her hands in his and thought how his own mother was never that gentle with him. "You're one of the greatest things I have ever gotten. You, Sandy and Seth and that's more then I can ever ask for." She said and he looked back at her and saw a smile and tears forming in her eyes. For the first time well ever, Ryan felt that someone truly loved him. He hugged her again.

"I...I love you too." He said softly with his face buried in her neck. Kirsten smiled and happy tears rolled down her face. He said he loved her and that filled her with so much happiness that she didn't know what to do. He came 16 years late but he was her second son and no one can take it or him from her.

"Come on honey, let's go inside before Sandy and Seth wonder where we got to." She said and they pulled out of the hug. He quickly tried to wipe some tears that formed in his eyes but she had already seen it although she pretended not to notice. Ryan nodded and they got up and went inside.

"Hey there you are. I was about to go get you." Sandy said smiling a bit.

"Yea guys, I'm starving." Seth said and Ryan and Kirsten could help but bust out laughing. "What I miss?" He asked confused. They shook their heads and sat down to dish out the take out. Seth continued to ramble and Kirsten and Ryan just looked at each other and smiled. Ryan looked around.

He realized for really the first time.....he was loved and....he wasn't worthless.

IIIIIIIIIII

Like it? Hate it? tell me and maybe I will write more hehehe